Little Buttons
by ChocolateLover82
Summary: A fortunate encounter while wandering the city may lead Edward to realize that, perhaps, not everything is lost. But is he ready? AH, ExB.
1. Flowers

**Hello pretty ladies.**

**So, here we go again. This will be my first 'intentional' multi-chapter, lol. Oh, FM, you got so wordy. So, we'll see how this goes, ok? This time, nothing in particular inspired this story, no pics or songs (IKR?), but on my profile you'll find some pics for some of the things mentioned in the chapters. More info at the bottom.**

**As usual, thanks to my lovely beta Songster for her mad skillz and for her patience in reading all the freaking words I send her way. Oy.**

**Also, I own many things, Twilight is just not one of them.**

**Ok, let's see what this is all about ...**

O~o~O~LB~O~o~O

**'Flowers'**

Red. Burgundy. The colors change when light reaches them.

They look so alive when it hits them full front. They become vibrant, they move; they make you want to crawl inside of them, swim in a sea of reds, greens or yellows.

Or you can find beauty as well when the light is scarce. Colors become darker to our eyes and almost sensual. You don't want to crawl inside of them, you want to let them envelop you, touch your skin and maybe leave a little bit of that sensuality behind.

Red in the light. Burgundy in the shade.

That change, it's what I've been watching for the last twenty minutes, sitting here, outside on the terrace of this restaurant. The wine swirls around the glass as I move my hand from left to right, in and out of the ray of sun that hits my table.

It's incredible how the colors change and move all around us. How they seem to fit our moods or easily influence them at times. _I_should know about that, I work with colors and lines all the time.

"Edward? Are you listening to me? It's like I've been talking to myself for the last hour." I hear Rose say in front of me.

She rarely comments on my wandering mind; she knows that getting inside my own head is something I need to do in order to be able to work and most of the time is inevitable. My best creations come from nights when I just let my mind fly. However, it does prove to be very annoying for my family and close friends.

But Rose understands me so well. She always has.

"Sorry, little sis. I was … mesmerized." I smile, because that word doesn't truly cover it and at the same time, that's exactly what I've been feeling.

Rose smiles back and I know she gets it.

"I know, Edward. It's ok. I just wanted to bring you out of your bubble for a little bit. I haven't seen you in a while; _we_haven't seen you. Marie really misses her favorite uncle." She pats my hand.

Marie, little Marie. The one true, pure light in my life with her infectious laugh and innocent blue eyes. Little blond curls that bounce when I lift her up above me. Blond that glistens under the sun, just like it did on _her _hair.

Rose chuckles and brings me back to the now.

"Yeah well, that should be a little obvious, considering I'm her _only _uncle, Rose."

"Semantics." She laughs and rolls her eyes, her beautiful blue eyes. Blue.

"But really, Edward. Please come visit us soon. I don't like to think of you all alone in that big place of yours. I'll cook some of your favorites, Marie and I will." She pleads and it breaks me that she has to plead to her brother for a visit. Like she's begging for scraps. I hate it and it's all my fault. She just wants her brother back.

"Of course I'll come, Rose. Anything for my girls. How about next Saturday? I can even take her to the playground earlier in the day."

"That's a great idea." She shines, something that few people get to see from her. "She'll be so happy to hear it. It's settled then."

We say goodbye a little later, and I know she'll be calling me again during the week to make sure I haven't forgotten about it. It's a good idea, I actually would.

Instead of heading back to my place to work in my studio, I decide to take a walk around the neighborhood. I always find it very calming even though I'm surrounded by people and noise. I guess being inside my own head for days at a time can do that to you, make you feel calm in the presence of chaos.

It's a Saturday afternoon and the streets are filled with children running around, enjoying the few days free of school. Couples holding hands and stealing soft kisses every couple of steps. I used to be like that.

Without a care in the world. Happy.

I keep walking for a few blocks, letting this life run free around me. For a moment, it makes me feel as if _I_ am alive as well, even though I know it's not true, I haven't been for awhile.

When I turn right at the corner of a book store, I'm suddenly hit with a wave of warm scents, sweet and salty and spicy, they all make their way into my nose and mouth, traveling down my throat. I close my eyes and let them enter me, fill me with their familiarity.

I instantly remember Sunday afternoons with my Mom when I was a little boy. Rose and I helping her mix the ingredients for whatever concoction she was preparing. Of course, half of those ingredients, the ones we could actually eat, ended up in our mouths before ever making it to the mixing bowl, but she never truly minded.

When I open my eyes, I can see where these scents come from, a little bakery at the other end of this block. '_Mon Petit Paradis_', that sounds fitting. I could easily see it becoming a place of escape in the future.

I don't even think about it before heading that way. It's located in the first floor of a three story building. To the right there is a big window which displays the name of the business and you are able to see inside to a tempting display of what they offer.

So many colors and textures and shapes.

Under that window, a bench is located for the customers to rest while they eat one of the delicious looking pastries. I can see two little girls there, their mouths full of powdered sugar and their fingers covered in jam.

Strawberry red against the yellow of their dresses.

To the left of the window, there's the entrance, with a little bell on top to announce the new arrival of customers into this new world. I head inside and it's intimidating when everyone turns their heads to the door, trying to asses the new visitor, almost measuring them to see if they fit in. Fortunately, they seem to think I do, so they quickly turn back to their business.

The choices are even more overwhelming now that I'm standing in front of these treats. _Croissants_, _macarons_, _gateaux_, _mille-feuilles_, _canelés_, _jesuites_. All there, dancing and mixing in colors and scents, shapes and textures. Powdered sugar, marmalade or raisins covering them and making them even more appealing to the eye. It is a true explosion of the senses.

God, it's even worse than when I have to choose which colors to work with.

I have to look away for a moment to distract myself from all of this. I look to my right, out the window, and I notice that across from the bakery, there is a square with a small fountain at the center. The way the water falls is hypnotizing and, once again, I'm drawn to something other than what I've been focusing on.

I can see the kids playing around, splashing water to each other, while their mothers run after them. It makes me smile to see and also sad to think that I will never have that. I tried that life once and it didn't work.

After I make my choice of _mille-feuille à la vanille_, I go outside to sit on a bench by the fountain to eat it. It's a hot day, so being close to water will help me feel a little cool.

The second I take a first bite, I _know _that I'll be coming back to this place once again. I can't believe the perfect mixture of flavors and textures. Soft and a little hard and slowly melting on my tongue. Sweet and making my taste buds work overtime and fly at the same time. Then all these sensations travel down my throat, smoothly making their way into my body.

How do they do that?

I turn my head and really look at the bakery. It's very ... cute, I guess I could say. The flow of people making their way inside never stops and they all look a little bit happier when they leave.

Right above the bakery, there are two windows and a small balcony in between them. The balcony has window boxes, filled with flowers, all in different colors that shine under the sun. Some of the flowers reach up into the sky seeking the light that gives them life and others, strangely enough, seem like they're reaching _down _toward the bakery, bending like they're trying to escape the confines of their little prison-boxes and be free to go inside.

Maybe they are trying to sniff a little bit of the godly scents coming out of there, just as I was a few moments ago. I wonder if that's the case; would those flowers smell of pastries as well, or even possibly taste of brown sugar and cinnamon?

I shake my head at the idiocy of that thought. Pastry sniffing flowers.

Still, flowers or not, the person living above that bakery must have the time of their life, waking up with such scents each morning. Or perhaps they are sick of them, sick of the sugary breeze and the damn fresh bread warmth making its way up.

I pity them if they are allergic to sugar.

Above it, there's the third floor. Unlike the second one, the balcony reaches all three windows there. The door in the middle is open and the breeze is moving the white curtain. Left to right. Right to left. The movement seems ... sensual.

Something hitting my feet breaks my moment and when I look down, there is a red ball resting there. I look up trying to see where it came from and a little boy is standing in front of me, one arm holding a very worn teddy bear while he sucks the thumb of the other one.

I pick the ball up and make motion as if asking it it's his. He only giggles.

I guess it is his, so I gently toss it back. He releases his thumb and picks it up. He can barely hold the bear and the ball as he walks back to his mother, who has been watching our entire exchange.

As I watch them go, I lift my hand to my hair, running my fingers through it. It is really hot and my pastry is gone.

I suddenly have the urge to pout.

It is then that I notice that my right cuff is loosening and when I try to fix it, a damn button goes flying out, falling right next to the fountain.

"Shit," I curse and go retrieve it.

When I find it, I find myself rooted to my spot, just staring at it.

How odd and simple can buttons be. Simple, yet so important. Holding two pieces of fabric together, keeping the skin we want to cover … well, covered. They come in many shapes and colors, some we can see in plain sight, others work in a more secret way. They can be only decorative at times, but even then, they make the clothes look put together.

They make _us _look put together.

They are all important, but it's those little buttons that I find most fascinating. Their size prevents them from being seen most of the time and they seem almost too fragile to fulfill their mission, but they do it in the same way as the others. They're just not pretentious about it. We truly never pay them attention until they fall off.

"It's not going to attach itself you know, no matter how much you look at it." A voice says to my right.

When I turn, I see this girl standing next to me, facing me. She has a beautiful smile and looks amused at my behavior.

Beautiful.

But what strikes me the most are the _colors_on her, around her, shining from within her. I've never seen something like this before. I can't stop staring.

She's shorter than I am, reaching to my chin I guess. She has shiny, long brown hair up in a ponytail. I bet it's wavy when it's down. Her eyes are this incredible chocolate brown color with little specks of hazel around the irises, something that only the sun above us is able to show.

I want to get lost in those eyes.

Her lips, oh her lips. Full and pouty and red, but not just any red. No. The red that looks more like cherries, cherries you can't wait to taste and lick and feel in your mouth, letting their sweet juice dance on your tongue and drip down your chin.

I want to taste those lips.

Her skin is pale and under the sun looks a little pinkish. It looks so soft and flawless and a little sparkly with the layer of sweat covering it. Little drops of it are making their way down her neck, between her breasts.

I want to lick that skin.

She's wearing a light blue dress with spaghetti straps that hangs from her delicate shoulders. The fabric falling loosely against her body down to her knees, hugging all her curves not revealing too much, but leaving just the right amount to the imagination. The very soft breeze making it sway a little.

I want to run my hands on the skin inside that dress.

Colors. Bright and peaceful colors everywhere you look at her. Colors that on other people might look wrong, on her they are perfection.

"Uh?" Yes, my answers are incredible.

She laughs, throwing her head back, making her neck look longer and exposing it to me. Oh, she sounds wonderful. I notice a small scar on the left side of her neck, a little line that looks paler than the rest of her skin. Perfectly imperfect.

"I said that button is not going to attach itself back to your shirt, just because you look at it like that. You have to sew it back. You know how to sew, right?"

And now is my turn to laugh. To anyone else, me laughing might seem rude, but no one has ever asked me that, at least not since I was much younger.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to laugh at you. But my answer is yes, I do know how to sew a button."

I'm glad she doesn't take offense at my laughter, she's smiling at me with a curious look in her eyes, like I'm a puzzle. I want to laugh a that as well; I'm anything but a puzzle. Everything about my life is out in the open for people to talk and judge and speculate. No, I'm not a puzzle.

"Come with me. I'll sew your button back, even though I am tempted to see you doing it for yourself," she teases.

"You don't have to, really. It's just a shirt, I have plenty of them back at home and like I said, I can sew." I don't want her to work for me, even if it's just to sew a button. I have plenty of people that do that. I want to spend time with her, just because. I want her to spend time with me just because.

"It's no problem, you see; I'm a seamstress and I work at this small shop right across from the square. Right over there." She happily points to her work place.

A seamstress? I haven't even known her five minutes and she's surprising me with the things she says. My face must've shown my surprise because it makes her smile drop a little. I don't like that _I _did that.

"I know, I know. A seamstress, it's weird. Everyone gives me that look." She rolls her eyes and seems a little uncomfortable.

But I don't want to be like everyone else to her.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean anything by it. It's just seamstresses are hard to find these days; they usually work for design houses. I think is a very unique work, interesting." God, I'm making it worse by saying generic crap.

"Don't worry about it." She waves her hand in the air. "Interesting? Well, I don't know about that, but I do get to meet very interesting people. The owner has had the place for over thirty years, so it's mostly old clientele, very loyal with great stories about their younger days." She speaks very fondly of these people, like they are friends or family to her, even. I don't have that at all; everyone wants a piece of me, wants to be seen with me.

This girl's job is much more interesting than mine.

"So, do you want me to work my magic on your shirt? If you're worried that I might ruin it, don't be. I would never offer to sew a button on a $600 men's shirt if I didn't know what I was doing."

"How did you know-?"

"I work with fabrics all the time. I need to know this stuff, you know."

Of course. I want to slap my face now.

"It really doesn't matter, but I'll take your offer just because I know it will drive me crazy until I get home. So lead the way."

I follow her to this little shop, truly right across from us. Very small, pressed between two three story buildings on each side. I can tell it's a very old place, but it fits the rest of the architecture surrounding us. All these little stores fit right in.

I watch her from behind as we walk and I can't keep my eyes away from her. This is a very mesmerizing view of her, her hips swaying, her ponytail bouncing. Her steps are of a woman sure of herself, but they falter a little when she looks back at me over her shoulder, like she wants to make sure I'm following her.

As if I could turn from her now.

When she sees me looking at her, she smiles and blushes, turning her head back to the front. She doesn't look back until we reach her shop.

"So, um ... before anything, shouldn't we know each other's names first? I mean, you _are _sewing my button back. I don't let just anyone do that." I really don't.

"Oh, right. I'm Bella." She turns to me while we stand at the entrance and extends her hand.

"Hello, Bella, I am Edward." And I take her hand in mine.

Jesus Christ, her touch. I can't believe someone like her exists. The sight of her, the sound of her voice and now her touch? It was such a sensory overload, starting in my hand and making its way all through my body. I was sure I would burst at any second. I was sure even the air felt charged.

She must've felt something similar. Her eyes widened and her pouty lips formed a little 'o' before letting her hand fall from mine.

"Well, hello Edward, let me go get my things." And she is gone in a flash to the back of the shop.

To get my mind out of this for a second, I take in on my surroundings. The place is small, just as I thought from the outside. A small counter sits to the front with a notebook or something on top of it, I guess to write down the orders. The walls are covered in photos and fabrics and different mementos of years long gone but not forgotten. It's obvious that they hold a special place for the one who put them up there.

I approach the counter and what I see is even more captivating than the rest of this place.

The notebook that I had just seen is not filled with orders and dates and names, it's filled with designs. It's actually a sketchbook. Beautiful lines shaping dresses, blouses, pants. The person who drew them knew the woman's form and movements perfectly.

"Ok, I'm back. Do you want to-" She stops once she sees me looking at the drawings. I feel embarrassed by this. I'm invading someone else's privacy.

"I'm so sorry, Bella. I didn't mean to-"

"It's ok. I just don't let anyone see my stuff. I have a lot of free time here, so I need to keep busy." She moves fast towards me and takes the book, placing it under the counter.

_She_ did those? I can't believe this; she keeps surprising me at every turn.

"May I just say they are incredible? You capture shapes and forms perfectly." She should be working for a design house or have one for herself. Maybe I can-

"Thank you, Edward. But it's just doodling, nothing more." She turns and the conversation on that subject is closed.

Doodling? That's far from doodling. The lines are amazing and simple, the designs classic, with an air of modernity. I don't like how she shut down like that, but it's none of my business, really. I want to see the playful girl from before back again.

"Bell-"

"Do you want to take off your shirt or I can work with it on you? It's only the sleeve and I'll be fast."

"Oh, on, if it's possible with the shirt on." The moment is awkward enough and adding to it the fact that I could be shirtless would only make things worse.

"Ok, sit down here." She motions to a seat in front of her, while she sets down her sewing box, which is a green vintage train case, covered in these old McCall's sewing patterns. It's unique, just like Bella.

"It was my mother's." She says when she sees me staring at it. "She died years ago and she left it to me. I redecorated it with all these patterns she had. I kind of wanted to make it different. It makes me feel close to her. It reminds me of all those afternoons she spent teaching me how to sew and differentiate between fabrics."

Even though she sounds sad, she's smiling, remembering the moments with her mother. She looks so beautiful, almost serene in her thoughts, and this makes me want to hear more about Bella's life.

"I'm sorry for your loss. It's a very beautiful box. I can see how it would make you feel close to her. I find that when you do manual work like that, it takes your mind off of things. You're concentrated on one task, but at the same time, it also allows you to be alone with your thoughts, thoughts that without the noise of the rest of the world, make their appearance. I guess when you are alone doing this stuff." I motion to my arm. "You can't truly help but think of her, like she's right next to you."

Bella stops what she is doing and looks up at me, her eyes filled with tears.

"Exactly." It's all she says, before returning to her task.

We stay like that for a few moments, in silence and I really don't like it. I keep screwing things up with her every time I open my mouth, but I can see that she'll be over with the button soon and I don't want to leave with this bitter taste behind us.

I want to make her smile.

"I really like that bakery across the square, you know? I had one of the most amazing _mille-feuille_ I had ever tasted in my life. And my Mom bakes a lot, so I know a little bit about that."

She smiles softly without taking her eyes away from my sleeve. She touches my hand repeatedly and every time our skin makes contact, I want to grab her hand in mine.

That would be a conversation stopper.

"Yeah, Alice takes pride on her baking. She's a third generation baker, you know. I remember her mother making the most delicious croissants in the world. Thank God, Alice learned how to bake them or our friendship would've stop right there." She's laughing and making jokes now. That's gotta be good, right? We're back on track.

"You know the owner?"

"Yes, since high school. We separated for a few years when she moved here and I was with-" She stops what she's doing for a moment. Something else I want to know about her. She clears her throat, uncomfortable. "Well, when I moved here, she offered me a place to stay. I live right above the bakery. She, her husband and their little girl live in a place close by."

"You're the one who lives _above_ the bakery?" She nods.

I was amazed at how small the world truly is, where she ends up being that lucky or unfortunate person that lives above such a tempting place.

"You're the owner of the pastry sniffing flowers?" What the hell did I just say?

Bella stops, slowly moving her head to look at me once again.

"The what?" She looks like she's trying to hold in the laughter. Who can blame her? I just said one of the most moronic things out loud.

"The ... um ... pastry sniffing flowers. You know, some of the flowers on your balcony seem to be looking down to the bakery, like they are-"

"Sniffing the pastries. Oh, I see. Yeah, I know." She finishes for me and leaves me surprised once again.

"I noticed that the first time I visited Alice. I told her I thought at any second they'd jump down to the first floor and make their way into the bakery and start placing orders." She's laughing now, not at me, but at that memory. Not that I minded if she laughed at me right now.

"God, you're incredible," I blurt because I'm a idiot, and spending too much time in my studio is robbing me of my social skills.

"Thanks. You're pretty incredible yourself, Edward." She blushes and her eyes shine with a little golden sparkle. Another color to add to my collection.

And I stare at her, just like that. It's been such a long time since I've felt this connection with a woman. They all want something from me. Always. But Bella seems different; she doesn't know who I am. She's meeting the real Edward, the one only my family knows. They one they want back.

"Ok, all set then." And the moment is broken.

I look down to my sleeve and I find what I expected. A perfect job. The button exactly where it should be, firmer than before. Her stitches are impeccable and almost invisible to the eye. She got the perfect color of thread for it, something very difficult for this brand of shirts, for they use very specific and custom made ones.

I should know; I own that design house.

"It's perfect, Bella." _Like you seem to be. _And I brush it with the tip of my fingers.

"Glad you like it. It's a little hard to get that specific color but I managed, Mr. Cullen."

I stop. She knows who I am? She's known from the start? Was this a joke to her? Was this a set up from the start?

Please don't. Please don't. Please don't.

I can't believe that by letting my guard down, I was being fooled once again. I should just stick to being enclosed in my studio from now on. I look up to her face, trying to find the answers. _The_ answer I want, need. That she was not deceiving me to get something from me, I couldn't take that from her.

"How do you know who I am?" I want to sound angry or at least firm, but my voice sounds weak. _She _thought I was weak as well all those years ago.

"We all know who you are, Edward. You're constantly in fashion and social magazines. You're hard to miss." She's smiling again, but tentatively.

"I didn't want to make you uncomfortable. I get what the fame can do to someone. It traps you and makes people think they know you and only want to see what they can take from you. I just wanted to _give you_ something. Peace. Peace by letting you be who you wanted to be for a few moments. Mr. Cullen or Edward. You looked so happy out there." She points outside.

She wanted to give me something? Give? Such a foreign concept in my life. Always surrounded by models and other designers and fashion magazine editors. All of them wanting to take and take. They are the reason I spend so much time inside my studio. Hiding.

But Bella, for her I'd be willing to go outside, I _want _to go outside with her. Spend days like this one, not hiding, never hiding. The both of us out in the open, under the sun, letting the colors vibrate.

"Thank you, Bella." I smile because it's the only thing I can do and it's real. Everything with her feels real.

My phone starts ringing and brings me back to reality. And when I see who it is, Demetri, it's a reality that suddenly I don't want to face.

"I have to go now. It's from work."

"Oh, I understand. You must be very busy." She looks like she doesn't want me to go either.

"Thank you for sewing the little button. How much-?"

"Don't even think about it, Edward. You made my afternoon much more interesting, that's payment enough," she interrupts and sounds so firm. I'm a little afraid to go against her.

"I can't do that. How about I buy you some pastry from '_Mon Petit Paradis_'?" I'm an idiot; she probably is tired of them.

"I'd love that." And her smile is like I just told her sniffing flowers _do_exist.

"Well, it's a rain check then." And now _I'm _smiling like sniffing flowers do exist. After this afternoon, I'd believe anything.

"Now that you know my name, or knew it all along. What is _your _name. Or are you like Madonna or Cher? A one name woman?"

"No, I'm not cool enough to only have one name and that's it. It's Swan, my name is Bella Swan." She teases.

Swan, a beautiful and delicate swan.

We exchange numbers and I promise to call her on Monday after I check my schedule. I feel so asshole-y saying that to her, like I'm _that _important.

I don't want to leave, but Demetri keeps calling and calling. We are standing by the door, not sure how to say goodbye or maybe not wanting to, at least on my part.

Without a thought, I lean in to kiss her cheek, to feel her skin on my lips, but after a second, I catch myself and extend my hand instead. My lack of social skills has been put to test too many times today.

I take her hand and once again I'm surprised at how soft she feels. We are so close to each other that I can smell the sugar and fruits on her skin. Living above a bakery doesn't sound so bad after all.

"Goodbye, Bella. I'll call you."

"Goodbye, Edward. I'm looking forward to it."

And I leave, back to the real world, a real world, ironically, full of fake smiles, fake bodies, fake friendships. And who would've thought that getting distracted while taking a walk would lead me to the only thing, besides my family, that was absolutely real.

Bella.

I smile remembering her reactions and the fact that I know a lot of her smiles just from a few moments with her.

I walk back to my apartment, still barely believing that she lives so close to me. I pass people smiling and holding hands and laughing, and for once in a long time, I don't feel jealous or sad. I feel hopeful, hopeful that good things will come after today.

This time, the streets of Paris don't look so glum. And as I reach for my apartment, I can't help but think 'thank God for flying little buttons.'

* * *

><p><strong>And there ya go. Our favorite couple meets :-) Pics of Bella's sewing box can be found on my profile.<strong>

**A couple of things:**

**- **Length (hehe, length):** The chapters will be between 5k-6k words (pre FFn) and this will be a rather short story, around 10 chapters total. Don't quote me on that one, since I can get pretty wordy … or not, lol.**

**- **Schedule: **I have a couple of chapters ready for this story, so I'll post every other week unless I ran out of chapters or something. I'll let you know if that happens. In between, I might post the occasional O/S or whatever. JSYK.**

**And I think that's it. I hope you'll like it.**

**Thanks for reading, Sweeties :-)**


	2. Macarons

**Greetings, pretty ladies :-)**

**Alright, a new chapter. I'm glad you're liking the story so far, even though it's only been one chapter, lol. Thanks for the trust and hopefully you'll like where I'm taking these kids.**

**Once again, many thanks to my beta Songster for making my words pretty :-)**

**I don't own Twilight, SM does. Oh well.**

**Now let's see if Edward calls ...**

O~o~O~LB~O~o~O

'**Macarons'**

"No, no, no. That's not the fabric I wanted for that dress. The texture is wrong, the color is wrong. Did you even listen to what I said?" I'm growing frustrated by the second at this lack of thoroughness. I'm usually not like this, but for some reason I can't stand any mistakes today.

After my encounter with Bella on Saturday, I haven't been able to stop thinking about her, and the fact that I know where she works and lives didn't help my case. I had to repeat to myself that I was not a stalker.

On Sunday all I did was sketch new designs on my balcony. The day had been pleasantly sunny and the thought of Bella under that light was all the push I needed to start drawing. The way her hair, skin ... _everything_ about her shone under the sun. The fall of her dress over the lines of her hips ... next thing I knew, I wasn't drawing new designs anymore, I was drawing _her_.

So Monday had been torture so far, with all the work and damn decisions that had been waiting for me when I arrived at my studio. I liked to stay on top of things, even when I delegate a few. I just don't trust anyone anymore, enough to give them that much power.

But this morning, well, this morning had been different. I couldn't wait for people to leave me alone to let my mind wander to thoughts of her.

No such luck. Hence, my mood.

"I'm sorry Mr. Cullen, but those were your specifications. This is the order I received last week, I-" Kate, one of the designers that works in my team, says.

"Well, someone screwed things up then, because that _atrocity_ was certainly not what I had in mind!" I shout and bang my hand on my desk.

The entire room fell silent. They are all stunned that I'm yelling like this; it's not the way I usually work or behave, but when I raise my voice, everyone knows I mean business.

"Ok kids, let's just go back downstairs and work on it again. Mr. Cullen needs to work on other things right now," Tanya says to the room and they waste no time in leaving.

Or running as the case may be.

"You didn't have to yell at the poor girl, you know. She's tough, but being yelled at by her boss in front of her coworkers won't make her change the dress on the spot. Hell, nothing can do that." Tanya sits on one of the chair opposite to my desk.

We'd been friends for years, we even dated for a while before ... _No_, I can't go there.

Things didn't work out between Tanya and me, but we remained friends afterwards. She studied design for a short time, but later she turned her interest to modeling. She truly is a gorgeous woman with her long silky blond hair and perfect body. Once she decided she had enough of modeling, she came to work for me as my Marketing Director. She has some of the best business instincts I had ever seen and has great connections she made while modeling.

She also doesn't take shit from anyone, especially me.

"I know, I know, but I'm right, that was not what I had in mind, someone _did _screw up big time." I was on edge and I knew I had been an asshole. The adrenaline from before was quickly fading, making me feel guilty about my behavior.

"Yeah, I know. I don't know what happened, but still, you were an ass." She narrows her eyes and stares at me for a few moments. Her piercing blue eyes make me feel nervous. "There is something about you today. I don't know what it is exactly, but you're definitely ... different. You're snapping at everything and everyone today. What's wrong?"

She's my friend, but do I really want to tell her about Bella? And what do I tell her for that matter? _I_ don't even know what is happening between Bella and me or if there is anything to tell.

"Nothing, I just couldn't sleep very well this weekend." It's true, but not what's on my mind at the moment. At all.

"Mhmm." I can tell she doesn't quite believe me, but she won't push it until I'm ready to tell her something.

When she leaves, I sit on the couch close to the window. The view of _la Tour Eiffel_ is incredible from here and sometimes I stay late at night just to look at it with the lights of the city surrounding it.

I wonder if Bella has been there.

I shake my head at that thought, now I'm thinking about taking her out to see the city. I don't even know how long has she lived here, probably more time than I have.

I decide that I might as well leave for the day. I'm not being productive and snapping at people just won't work.

I gather my things and call it a day. When I say this to my assistant, Irina, she looks at me like I'm speaking in another language. Maybe I am. Did I say it in French or English?

"Um ... have a nice day, _Monsieur_ Cullen. I guess I'll see you tomorrow?" God, now I'm confusing my staff.

I'm usually always in my studio working. I'm the first one to get here and the last one to leave, so the fact that I'm leaving even before Irina, well, I'd understand if she wants to have me committed.

"Yes, Irina. You'll see me tomorrow. I'm just not feeling very well today." And the fact that I can't stop thinking about a girl I met two days ago doesn't have anything to do with me wanting to leave.

I leave and everyone I meet looks at me the way Irina did. Rumors that I'm dying will start spreading before I reach my apartment.

I smile at that thought.

When I get to my place, a sense of safety and home invades me. I have been living in Paris for the last five years and I bought this place three years ago. It's close to work and to pretty much anything I need. I can also take the _Métro_ everywhere in the city. I love not having to use my car that much.

Yet today, it feels like there is something missing, or more like _someone_. I have flashes to the last time someone was in my home on regular basis. _She _had made our former place hers as well, but I had been too blind to see that it was all an act. After her, I didn't want anyone else here in my haven; I can't trust anyone anymore besides my family and my few close friends.

No, that can't happen again.

But Bella, she seems different from the rest. I know I spent a brief amount of time with her, but in those moments she was more worried about what _I_ might need, might want, than anyone before. She tried to make things comfortable for me, even though it was clear she wasn't comfortable with me even looking at her sketchbook.

She was ... different.

Before I know it, I reach for my door and I'm out of my place. I know exactly where I'm headed.

I walk down a few blocks on _Avenue Foch_, with the _Arc de Triomphe_ in the distance, turn down a few streets and I'm once again in front of the little bakery. It's like a beacon now, calling to my senses, my mind.

Just as I expected, the place is packed, people leaving it with a smile on their faces. But that's not the place I want to enter at the moment. Yes, it's a place that calls to me, but the woman working across the square is the one that truly pulls me.

Bella.

I wonder if she's there today. Of course she's there, it's not like the place can afford that many people working in shifts. She's probably there everyday. I wonder if it's not too many hours.

When I reach it, I hear her talking with someone in the back room.

"No, Alice. He hasn't called yet. I don't know if he will. He probably said it just to appease me. Why would someone so busy bother with a seamstress?" She sounds sad and hurt. Is she talking about me? How could she think that I wouldn't call?

Oh yeah, because I didn't. I'm an idiot. I spent the day so focused on thoughts of her, that I forgot that I was supposed to call her to see when could we meet. And now here I am, showing up like she doesn't have better things to do than go eat something with me.

Just because _I_ had the rest of the day off, doesn't mean _she _has as well. I want to spend time with her, but that doesn't mean she'll drop everything to go with me, or that she really wants to spend some time with me for that matter.

I truly have lost my social skills. Maybe I should get a book or something, perhaps in audio format so I can pretend I'm listening to music while I work and nobody has to know how much of a social hermit I truly am.

I turn to leave, but the moment I do, a woman enters the shop and rings a little bell on top of the counter, which makes Bella peek her head out from the back room. I can't leave now.

She sees the woman first and when she sees me there next to her, her eyes widen and she blushes. A lot.

I think it's cute.

"Yeah, Alice? I have to go, I have one, I mean, two customers here. I'll call you later. Bye, hon."

She makes her way out and she looks even more beautiful today. I had missed quite a few details the other day, it seems. She has two little freckles on her nose and what looks like a birthmark on her left shoulder. She's wearing a sleeveless red dress today and I think I stop breathing the second I see how she looks in it.

Red. Like her lips.

"Claudine, how lovely to see you," she says to the woman next to me. I have no idea what she looks like; I can't stop staring at Bella.

"Edward," Bella turns to me and says my name in a whisper. She can't believe I'm here, hell, _I _can't believe I'm here, but she seems happy.

"Oh Claudine, this is Edward, a friend of mine." Bella hesitates for a second, looking at me trying to gauge if it was ok to call me her friend. I get that I had just met her, but still, I'm happy that she considers me her friend. I want that and so much more.

"Nice meeting you, _Mademoiselle_ Claudine," I say as I nod my head in her direction. Claudine giggles and from the corner of my eye, I see Bella rolling her eyes.

"I'll be right with you Edward. Is that ok?"

"Yeah, don't worry about me. I'm the one who showed up here unannounced." This also gives me an opportunity to be alone with her later on.

While Bella talks to her customer, I stand close to the door, checking my emails on my phone. I truly can't turn my brain off.

I only check one email before I'm once again entranced by this beautiful woman. Bella talks animatedly in French to Claudine. The way the words fall easily from her lips tells me she's very comfortable speaking the language, no hesitation whatsoever.

I wonder if she learned it before coming to Paris or was it out of necessity once she got here? Why did she come here in the first place for that matter? All questions that I can't wait to ask her, but at the same time I'm terrified to do so, since I know the moment I do, I'll have to share some of my own story with her.

From the newspapers and blog sites, I think she might know a lot about my life as it is, but the truth? Do I want her to know the truth? And if I do, will she care or just settle for believing the lies they told?

"Is everything alright?" Bella startles me and I notice that we're alone now. How did Claudine get past me without noticing? This is evidence for how out of it I really was.

"Yeah, just thinking. I had a lot of work today." But she was the one invading my thoughts.

"About that. Not that I'm not glad you're here, but aren't you supposed to be running an empire or something?" She laughs but it sounds a little forced. She's nervous.

"Well, I think my _empire_ can run alone without me for a day. I wasn't very ... productive today actually." That's an understatement.

"Really? So while at work you think about something else and while outside of it, you think about work?" She's teasing. I like that.

"You are a strange man, Mr. Cullen."

"Edward, please. Call me Edward. And yes, tell that to my brain. It does what it wants."

We fall into a comfortable silence, just gazing at each other, the air feeling light with our talk. It almost has the feeling of ... home. That's odd.

"But really, why are you here on a Monday afternoon? Weren't you supposed to call me today, so we could see each other later this week? Phones are not just to check on your emails, you know. You can -get this- contact people from other places and listen to their voices and have full conversations with them." She shakes her head. "To live in this day and age … "

I have no witty comment to that so all I do is laugh and, boy, does it feel great to do that. Who is this girl in front of me? She's been calling me to her ever since I met her two days ago. Calling my body, my mind.

I've never felt this way before, not even with … _No_.

"I was not doing great at work today, so I decided to pay you a visit instead. I have the rest of the day off," I say after I control my laughter.

It is at that moment that I realize how conceited I sound. Just as I thought when I entered this shop, I'm jumping to conclusions that she can to spend time with me, or that she wants to.

When she cocks her eyebrow, I know she's noticed it as well. Crap, when did I become such an open book?

"God, Bella, I'm sorry. I'll leave you alone now. I'll call you if you want to talk to me again." I turn to leave, but stop when I feel her hand grasp my forearm. So warm.

"Edward, don't go." She looks so beautiful and once again I feel like an ass that someone else in my life has to plead with me for my time.

"I'm glad you're here. I have to admit I've been waiting for you to call." She blushes and I know the call from before was about me.

I need to stop eavesdropping though.

"And I would've done it. I wanted to do it." I take her hand in mine and I'm glad we're alone here, because now I'm moronically staring at it. To an outsider it might look like I have a hand fetish or something.

"So, are you free for that pastry I promised? I might buy you two. The button you sewed on has been very clingy towards my shirt, you know. It just won't let go." _The same way I seem to not want to let go of you._

I don't admit that I had been a little bit too clingy of the shirt myself. Touching the button, remembering how she looked as she concentrated on her sewing.

Better not scare her with my revelation.

"Well, that's the point Mr. Cullen. Buttons are supposed to stay attached to clothing, not jumping ship the first chance they get. What kind of a designer are you, anyway?"

"True. But it's not my fault if they want to get away from me." My smile falters as I realize how true that statement is. I can't help it if they don't want to stay with me.

"That's why I attached it so firmly, Edward. It won't go anywhere unless you rip it off."

Her eyes show such intensity. I could never push her away when she looks at me like that. I want to know her and for her to know me. God, I want that.

I have to look away from those eyes. I can't let her see right through me. Not yet at least.

"Should we head to '_Mon Petit Paradis_' or are you too busy? Maybe I could buy something and bring it to you if you can't leave-" She cuts me off with a hand on my mouth.

"Yes, I can go. It's not like this place is bursting with clientele. I can leave for a few moments." She puts on a sign saying she'll be back soon and leaves the shop.

I can't move, I'm still thinking about her hand covering my mouth a few moments ago. So soft and warm, much more than that small peek I had the other day when I held her hand in mine. I wonder what the rest of her skin feels like and how her lips taste.

"Come on." Bella extends her hand to me and pulls me in the direction of that sweet heaven.

I suddenly feel like skipping there. All these thoughts about her being cute and me wanting to skip my way through life make me smile and feel giddy.

And once again, another weird concept for me.

We get to the bakery, and I can't believe I didn't think this through. Now Bella is going to see how freaking indecisive I truly am. I can make pretty firm decisions when I'm at work, but when it comes to the rest, I might as well flip a coin.

"So, what do you want?" Bella asks without looking at me. I'm only looking at her.

"Um … a _macaron_," I say after taking a look around. Since it's hard as hell to decide, I choose the thing that's in front of me.

"Oh, great choice. I'll have one as well."

"Bella! Long time no see," a man behind the counter says.

"Laurent! What do you mean 'long time'? I live upstairs."

"Oh I know, but I never get to see you anyway. You use the side door."

"Sorry, sweetie. I promise to say hi next time." She smiles at him and looks so at ease and friendly. I guess there is no way someone can resist Bella's charm.

I sure as hell can't.

"Oh, how rude of me." She blushes when she notices Laurent turn to me.

"Laurent, this is my new friend Edward. Edward, this is my old friend, Laurent." And she giggles.

Again, fucking cute.

"Hey! I'm not that old, you little missy. Fifty is the new forty." He winks at Bella and then extends his hand to take mine. "Nice meeting you, Edward. Any friend of Bella's is a friend of mine, unless you hurt her, then I'm poisoning your treats."

"Laurent!" Interesting, didn't know her blush could get any stronger.

"Oh, shush. You know I'm protective of you ever since you came here." Laurent pats her hand and the look they exchange tells me there is much more there. He's not protective of her just because she's a girl in a new city. Another piece in the Bella puzzle I want to figure out.

"Ok, enough of introductions. As you can see there is much work to do, so what will you two be having this afternoon?"

"_Macarons_," we both say at the same time. We're grinning like idiots.

"Aren't you cute." We both turn to look at Laurent and he's also grinning like an idiot.

"What color will they be? Wait, wait, say it at the same time. I want to see if you choose the same color." He looks almost like a kid on Christmas morning at the prospect.

I knew the color I wanted to choose the moment Bella blushed that adorable red.

"Red."

"Red." And now I'm surprised and smiling.

"Jinx," Bella says and she's also smiling. When did I become such grinning fool?

I haven't smiled this much since … ever, I think. Really? Is that true? I guess, since I was a kid, but in my adulthood I can't remember a time being this … free.

"Two out of two? You guys are just too cute for words."

"Are you reading my thoughts? Because that's quite the skill. You sew a mean button _and_read minds? I might have to marry you now." And once again, my lack of social skills and brain filter is making me look like a fifteen year old. What's wrong with me? I'm a world class fashion designer; I deal with assholes and hungry models from all over the world every day.

"Gee, Edward. If I knew letting you buy me a macaron would constitute a marriage proposal, I don't even want to think what would've happen had I chosen a _tarte_."

I'd offer her the world without thinking.

"Here you go. Enjoy." Thank God for Laurent and his timing. I don't think continuing to stare at Bella like this would help with my lack of filter.

After I pay, we head outside and sit on the bench by the window. The day is warm and since it's Monday and little after lunch, the streets are not very crowded.

It feels nice, actually. I can take in more of my surroundings and notice all the details about the buildings. This really is a nice neighborhood. I like the feeling that things are not rushed and that we can sit here and enjoy the day and these incredible _macarons_.

"So red, huh?" Bella breaks the silence.

"Yeah, so red, huh?"

"I'll tell you why I chose this color, if you tell me your reason."

Oh dear Lord, do I want to tell her? One look at her eager eyes and I know I want to tell her everything.

"Your blush. I chose the red macaron after your blush." And I'm pretty sure _I'm _the one blushing.

"Oh, really? My blush? I hate the damn thing. I always get so nervous when it happens and that only makes it worse. I hate that it gives away my feelings."

She hates it?

"Well." I want to run my hand across her cheek. "I think is lovely and it makes you look more beautiful than you already are." Her answering smile tells me that she believes me.

"Your hair." She says suddenly. "I chose red because of the red streaks the sun cast on your hair when we came here. I thought it was brown the other day, but under the light so many other colors are revealed as well. Red, yellow, bronze. I guess red was the one that stuck the most with me. It looks beautiful."

She's thought of the color of my hair?

"My hair? You are the first person to say that to me. Well, besides my Mom." I smile.

"I've always hated the fact that the color of it was so different from that of my classmates. They always made fun of me and I hated that. I tried to dye it once, when I was six. I had these paints and thought that's what people did. Esme, my Mom, went ballistic when she saw me."

I laugh remembering my Mom's face when she saw me with brown paint on my hair. She threatened to never let me have paints if I ever did that again. I loved to paint, so of course I promised her.

"She said that I shouldn't be ashamed of myself, that we all have differences that makes us … us. Why would we want to be like the person sitting next to us? Would I want to eat spaghetti every single day?" At Bella's quizzical look, I explain further. "Spaghetti is my favorite meal."

"Of course I wouldn't, I liked eating other things as well and I like to play different games and have different hobbies. So in the end, why would people want to be the same as the next one? Diversity is where the fun of it all is."

"You're mother sounds like a wise woman."

"She is, but don't tell her I said that. I'd never hear the end of it." I smile sadly. All this talk about my Mom makes me realize once again how much I've pushed her, and my family, away. I should be telling her these things, not letting them hang in the air.

We continue to eat our macarons, forgotten while we shared these little glimpses of ourselves, and watch people pass by. We are both lost in thought when Bella starts laughing.

"What's so funny?" Whatever it is, just keep on laughing, please.

"Us. The image of us sitting here, eating our red macarons like two little children who got a treat after behaving themselves."

I think about it and she's right. From the outside, we look like those two little girls I saw the first time I came here, but unlike them, I hope I didn't drop anything on my shirt.

I surreptitiously check. Just in case.

"Wait, what? I look like a little kid? I'm all man, Bella. I eat big manly pastries. I'll go ask Laurent to add chili or something to this."

She just laughs even more. Good, if making a fool of myself is what it takes to hear her laughter and seeing her face glow with happiness, I'll dress as a clown next time.

"Chili? Are you crazy? If you ask Laurent that he'll kill you for defiling his creations."

"Maybe, but I can take him." I think I can.

"Yeah, sure you could."

"So, Bella. I've been meaning to ask you. What's it like to live above a bakery? Tired of it already or getting diabetes just from the smell of it?" I tease.

"Well, a little bit of both actually. Minus the diabetes. I like waking up to the smell of fresh bread and sugar, but at the same time, sometimes I just want to stick a damn french fry up my nose." She teases.

"But other than that, I love it. It's a little place that's my own and I can be myself. I work a little bit on my own stuff as well. I also love Paris and, whenever I want to, I can just walk down random streets or take the _Métro_ to different places in the city."

Even though it appears we live very different lives, in reality, we are very similar. I also find my place to be my little haven where I don't have to take crap from anyone.

"How long have you lived here?"

"A couple of years." She looks tense and very uncomfortable about that simple question. Just as I thought, she's not ready to share her secrets with me. But then again, I'm not ready either.

"I moved here and Alice offered me this place. She used to live here when she first arrived. But since she got married and had a kid, she moved to a bigger place."

And that's all she offers before changing the subject. At this point I'll take whatever I can get.

"Ok, so let's move, shall we?" She gets up, and her eyes stay fixed on the door to her shop.

"Oh, yeah, of course. I'm sorry to have cut into your day like this." I don't want to go, but it looks like our time together has been soured with talk of the past.

"No, Edward, you haven't. It's a slow day and your visit made my day a bit brighter. I thought I was going crazy for a moment there." She's looking at me now and the walls she put up for a moment when we talked about her reasons for coming here are down once again. I could push a little and maybe get her to talk, but she's not ready, just as much as I'm not ready to talk about my past.

We head back to her shop and every step seems heavy. If we could, I'd want us to stay sitting on that bench all day long, eating macarons and every one of those amazing treats until we burst. All that would be left, would be two piles of sugar.

When we reach the tailor shop, she goes to the back room without saying anything, and I'm left standing there not knowing what to do. Should I go? Maybe follow her? I didn't think she would dismiss me like this.

She comes back with a light cardigan and her purse in hand. I'm confused, I thought she had to go back to work.

"What do you think about a walk?" All the sadness from before is gone.

"But, what about your work? Don't you have clients to tend to?" I look left and right; I know there is no one to be found and why am I questioning her is beyond me, but I have to ask.

"I usually don't work here in the afternoons, Edward. The owner, _Monsieur_ Grenier, comes and takes care of the place. Well, he usually just sits outside reading the paper and talking with the people from the other stores, but I work at home tailoring clothing. It's easier and I have more space. Also, there is not much clientele these days, so I don't miss out on anything."

"Oh."

"So? What do you think? Are you up for a walk? Or do you have to go back to work?" She's worried that I'll say no, but there is no way I'll say no to her. Maybe never.

"Of course!" I roll my eyes inwardly at my enthusiasm.

"Lead the way, Miss Bella. But where are we going?"

"That's a surprise, Mr. Cullen." I watch her close the door and walk beside me. My hand is itching to connect with hers.

And lead she does. She leads me out of this tiny store into neighborhood streets. And even though I have no idea where we are going, I can't help but embrace the feeling of the unknown, because with Bella, even that's not scary. At all.

* * *

><p><strong>Nop, he didn't call. Such an eager boy this one. Next chapter, a little walk down the streets of Paris. Where is Bella taking him? You'll see ;-)<strong>

**No pics this week, I didn't wanna kill ya with photos of macarons.**

**Thanks for reading, sweeties, and see ya in two weeks :-)**


	3. Sculptures

**Hello again, pretty ladies :-)**

**And another chapter is here. I'm glad you liked the last one and E&B's interactions so far. Happy times for the time being, I like them happy. Yes, I do. *nods***

**Thanks again to my beta Songster for helping me make these words pretty :-)**

**I don't own Twilight, just the DVDs and the books.**

**Now, let's see where Bella takes Edward ...**

O~o~O~LB~O~o~O

'**Sculptures'**

We walk not saying anything, but it's not uncomfortable at all. I turn to see her every few steps and I notice a little smile on her face. Also, a little blush. I guess she's noticed my staring. Not that I'm being that stealthy about it.

The streets are slowly filling out with more and more people, signaling that the end of the work day is near. In a few hours, they will all be heading to restaurants or bars to relax and talk. I wish I had someone to do that with.

"Are we going to walk all the way to this surprise place? Not that I mind, but walking in a suit is not that comfortable, at least not for long walks."

"God, Edward. A little walk won't kill you, you know? And no, we are not walking all the way there. We are taking the _Métro_."

"Oh." Again with my great talking skills.

We reach _Charles de Gaulle - Étoile _station and take the Line 1. Fortunately, we find two seats next to each other and watch the car fill. Tired, happy, and in a hurry people. All ready to start their evening.

The cars are comfortable and well taken care of, a big difference to those of New York City. I actually feel comfortable sitting here and not scared for my health.

I look up to see the map of the stations this line has and like a little boy I try to discern where will we stop. _Champs-Élysées_?

"Six." Bella whispers in my ear. I have to close my eyes for a second at the feel of her breath across my face. So unexpected and sweet. I wondered how her lips tasted that first time I saw her on Saturday, but now? I want to feel her mouth on mine, breathe in that scent, mixing it with mine.

"Six stations from this one." And she retreats.

After the fog dissipates, I'm able to put two and two together long enough to look up again and count the stations. It is now that I notice that the car just started moving.

One, two, three, for, five and ... six.

I can't hold back the surprised smile at seeing where she's taking me.

"_Musée du Louvre_?" I loved that place when I was a kid and Esme took Rose and me every couple of months or so. To a sick kid that spent too much time inside instead of outside in the yard, the museum was a place where I could truly let my mind wander and come up with new things. I found new forms and shapes; I invented new stories.

It was heaven.

"Is that ok? I know is very touristy, but I thought you might like to take a look at all those colors and forms since you seem so fixated with the red _macarons_." She's nervous at my reaction.

"Bella, I love it. I haven't been there in years actually." And the thought makes me sad.

Bella looks relieved when I tell her this, but when I look down, I notice her hands fidgeting in her lap. She's nervous around me and I can't help but feel a bit smug that I make her react that way. This gives me the drive to finally give in and take her hand in mine, squeezing it a little. Her smile and relaxed body tell me that she's ok with it.

"Ok then, Mr. Cullen. The _Louvre _it is."

We stop at _Palais Royale-Museé du Louvre Métro _station and once again I can't believe we're here. Memories of the times I came with Mom and Rose flood my mind. Mom chasing us, calling our names as we jumped from the car and raced up the stairs leading to the bright streets. Rose and I pulling Mom to the entrance once she caught us, now with a firm grip on our little hands.

We head out of the station and walk on _Rue Saint-Honoré_, we then turn on _Place du Carrousel _and keep walking south towards the _Seine _to reach the big Pyramid at the _Louvre_. All the while I am holding Bella's hand and feeling the heat of the sun on our faces.

Once again, being surrounded by so many happy people and not feeling bitter about their happiness is a strange concept. Seems like I've lived like this for so long that the moment that weight is lifted, I don't know how to act. So foreign.

And then here we are. Just as I remembered.

I stay rooted to my spot when we are in front of the main Pyramid, just absorbing the sight in front of me: the Pyramid, the buildings behind and flanking it, the noise of the cars and people passing by us.

I can't help but think, even after all the times I've been here, how odd the Pyramid looks in the middle of the courtyard. Mixing the new with the old, I've always thought it was odd. For a long time I would scowl every time I saw it, thinking that it was an awful thing to do to such an already beautiful place, but in time, I was able to find the beauty in it. Bringing the past and the future together. The old doesn't have to die in order to make way for the new.

Mom hated it.

"You look happy," Bella muses after I've been taking in everything around me.

"I am." I truly am and I just noticed the feeling. "I used to come here with Rose, my sister, and my Mom all the time when we were kids. My Mom would drag us, or more like we would drag her here, and we wandered through the halls for hours. Mom knows a lot about art and she would tell us about the painters, sculptors and other stories to go with it." Esme was always trying to instill in us her love for beauty, in whatever form.

"Sometimes we would make up stories with the artwork we saw, trying to create a world within a world. Other times, we would do that with an entire room, each work of art telling a little piece of a much greater story. Rose always included princesses and stuff in her parts of the story. It drove me crazy."

Oh Rose, how neglectful I've been with my little sister. With everything she's been through and yet there she is, always uplifting _my_moods.

"That sounds lovely, Edward. You have a beautiful family." Her smile is truthful and that makes her look even more radiant. There's nothing fake about her.

"I know," I whisper.

These last few hours have made me think about my family in a way that I haven't allowed myself in such a long time, yet, besides the feelings of happiness that thoughts of them bring me, feelings of guilt surface as well. It kills me to know how much I neglect them.

We head inside after paying for our tickets. It took me forever to convince Bella to let me pay.

We are walking around the Egyptian Exhibition, when Bella starts talking again.

"It seems rather odd that a little boy would want to come to a museum that badly. Were you always an art lover?"

And here goes, a little part of my life I can share with her. Do I want to?

Of course I do.

"Yeah, that is weird, right? Well, when I was a little boy, I was very sick a lot of the time; my immune system was not the best, so I spent most of my time in bed. This made me an oddity among kids my own age. While they were outside getting dirty, I was in bed, pale as a ghost. So every time I went back to school they would make fun of me or stay the hell away. At some point it wasn't even worth it to even keep attending school, so I had private tutors."

Those were hard years for me and my family. I saw how much it hurt Esme, but it was also then that my passion for design was born.

"Oh, Edward." She doesn't sound like she pities me, and that's good, I couldn't take seeing pity in her beautiful eyes, even more because I sense there's a sad story behind them.

She takes my hand and doesn't let go when I continue my story.

"That made me close off and it was very hard for me to make friends. I spent a lot of time with my sister, which in the end formed a very strong bond between us."

The amount of stories and worlds we made up back then was ridiculous. No wonder Rose turned out to be a writer.

"Since I spent so much time at home, I started watching from the top of the stairs when my mother's friends came to visit her to have tea or to their book club or for whatever reason they got together. I thought they were the most beautiful women in the world. Refined and poised. Strong with soft lines.

"I ended up craving when they came to visit, just so I could watch them talk and move and laugh. To a kid with pretty much zero outside interactions, it was mesmerizing.

"In time, I started to notice more and more details about what made them look like that. It was something that couldn't quite be taught, a confidence came from within, and _that_ made them even more beautiful."

Rose teased me endlessly back then, saying I had a crush on Mom's friends. It was more than that really, although _Madame _Benoit was really beautiful.

"One of the things I also noticed were the clothes they wore. They hugged their bodies perfectly and it was the perfect way to show all the confidence they had inside. Some were not beautiful women, in the strict sense of the word I guess, but they _felt _beautiful and that made them beautiful in my eyes.

"I watched the way they accessorized, mixing the new and the vintage. How they played with the colors and shades and textures. I realized, _I_wanted to be the one making women feel beautiful, bringing out the beauty that was hidden within."

I blush at this revelation; I had never told this story to anyone outside my family. Would Bella think I'm weird? That I was a creepy little boy?

That's not what I find in her face when I look down at her.

"Edward, I've never heard someone talk this passionately about _anything _in their lives. And I've known Alice for years and she can be pretty passionate when it comes to food." She smiles softly, as if remembering something that I can't see. But I want to.

"I'm sorry you had to go through that. Kids can be pretty hurtful, but it played a part in the making of the man you are today."

A part that died years ago when _she_entered my life.

"I've read about your life in the press, Edward. It's hard to avoid, but I know there is always so much more behind those stories. None of them told this story though, they always center in the more glamorous or scandalous sides of you. Thank you for showing me this."

Of course, magazines. I'm thankful that she's letting me tell her _my _story. I just worry if she'll be able to take everything I have to say regarding more recent years.

I make a bold move and reach to run my hand down her cheek. Bella doesn't retreat, so I take it as my cue that she doesn't mind. It feels so soft, no fabric could ever come close to feeling this way. No other woman feels the way Bella does under my touch.

"Thank you for listening, Bella. I've never told this story to anyone before." She leans into my touch.

"Tell me more about you."

"Me? Ok, what else? I'm sure you've read most of it in the press. I was born in the States and after Rose was born, we moved here. Dad is a doctor and an international foundation called him to lead one of its branches here in Europe. He worked with underprivileged kids that can't get the medical attention they deserve, so he got to travel a lot, even to Africa at one point." That had been an amazing trip, when we traveled there to visit him.

"After years of that, we went back to Chicago, which is where we originally came from, and I finished high school there. After a few years, I came back here to live and work and slowly so did my sister and my parents. Now we go back and forth from time to time."

"That sounds pretty cool. To travel all around. My biggest trip was coming here. Ok, tell me more about you as a little kid." She's so interested in my life, and just because.

And I do. I tell her about those years for an hour as we walk from room to room, exhibition to exhibition. Sometimes stopping at a particular work to talk about what we think of it, some just silently studying them to find deeper meaning in them, and others just full on giggling. I like that I do that now.

When we reach the Dying Gladiator by Pierre Julien, I stay glued to my spot, captivated by the work and recognizing our similarities.

I remember whenever Mom brought us to see the sculptures, it was my least favorite place to stop by. I always found them a little creepy, too real. I was a kid back then, so my interest was more in the colors than in the shapes. It was years later that I was able to appreciate the work of sculptors and their incredible attention to details.

But this particular one always brings back memories of the end of ... my marriage with Renata. The sculpture shows a mortally wounded gladiator staring down at his laurel crown, a symbol earned for his courage. He's facing death with dignity and grace, because in the end he's dying with honor. He's not afraid to die.

In all the scandal of my divorce and the actions that led to it, I had to not only face the world and their judging, I had to face my wife and her treason. The woman who stole everything I had built up until that point, like it was nothing.

In the end, I rose to victory from that battle, proving to the world that she was the one doing wrong to me, but what did that left me with? A victory, yes; it awarded me the truth of who she really was, but also, it left me alone and scared to let anyone in again. A hollow victory at best.

It had felt like it was the end of my life at that moment, that I had lost everything I held dear to me, and just like the gladiator, I was wounded with a fatal strike; but to me, there was no grace or dignity at all.

It wasn't an honorable death.

To this day, the experience haunts me. Maybe I should've handled things differently, been less spiteful. But I had been so angry and hurt by her; I let that guide my actions, which may ultimately have led to her demise.

"Are you alright, Edward?" I feel Bella's hand on my shoulder, a warm comfort from my dark thoughts.

"Yes, sorry. I got lost in my own world there for a second." I shake my head and place my hand on top of hers.

"You looked pained there for a second. Are you sure you're alright?"

"Yeah, I'm sure. Come on, the museum will close soon. Let's get out of here."

She doesn't press further, seeing that I won't tell her more than this. Even if I could tell her what was going through my head, I wouldn't do it here, ruining our day.

We continue walking south down _Place du Carrousel _until we get to the _Seine_. At _Port du Louvre _we sit near the water to watch the people and the boats that come and go from time to time, taking on passengers, mostly tourists coming from the museum.

It feels so peaceful to be here. It's one of the few times that my mind hasn't wandered that much away from the present. I guess Bella holds even my attention with a firm grip.

"This is nice," Bella says with her eyes closed and her face turned up to the sky.

The reflection off the water makes her skin glow. And even with her pale skin, there is a light pink blush covering her. If we stay here too long, she'll match her red dress.

I can feel a light breeze around us, cooling us from the heat, which makes Bella's hair move in tandem; the bright sun making it shine, showing specks of gold in a sea of brown. The breeze also sways the skirt of her dress my way, the fabric grazing my skin with the lightest touch, but its softness is nowhere near the silken feel of Bella's skin.

"I know." Not really referring to her earlier comment.

"I haven't had this much free time in years. And even then, it was because I had been sick and my Mom refused to leave my side because she figured out that I had been working from home anyway."

"Wow, you really are a control freak, aren't you?" Bella laughs but when she notices that I'm not, she opens her eyes and looks concerned.

"I'm sorry, Edward. That was completely out of order. I never-"

"Don't. Please, don't apologize. You're right, I am a control freak. You just touched a nerve there." I take a deep breath and debate telling her more about it, but I decide against it. It has been enough for one day.

"I know what pain looks like, and more than that, I know how it feels. After it's gone, it changes your life completely, making you enjoy more the moments that come after it, or it makes you miserable and think that you deserved it all along. But you don't Edward, you don't deserve pain, no one does, but if you don't believe it, it's just words."

She takes my hand and pries my fingers from their tight grip. I hadn't noticed that I had been doing that.

"For a time, I thought that as well. I thought that everything bad that had happened to me at the moment was something that I had brought upon myself. It was Alice and Emmett, a friend of mine, that pulled me out of that hole. It took us tears and anger and screaming, but I'm here, aren't I?"

This is the most that she's shared with me and even though she pretty much knows everything about my childhood at this point, it's this confession that I feel says more about her than any of the things I told her about me.

She's strong.

"I'm just not ready yet, Bella. I wish I was, but I'm not." I'm ashamed of this, but for the first time, I want to get out of this dark hole; I want to get back to the living.

"But you will be. When the time comes, you'll know what to do. In the mean time, you have a loving family and a new friend." She's smiling so proudly, I can't help but smile back. A new friend indeed.

"Thank you, Bella."

We stay like that, watching the sun retreat, holding hands, until my stomach grumbles and breaks the moment.

"I'm going to hope that you're hungry and that it wasn't the _macarons_." She giggles, and it matches her happy mood. She looks gorgeous when she's happy.

"Um, yeah, it is kind of late. Do you want to go eat something? I know a place near here."

"Sure, I'm hungry myself, but I can tame my stomach unlike some people."

"Ok, let's go, before you hurt my feelings." I try to make a sad face, but my smile prevents me.

"Pff, you big baby. I bet you don't even eat around all those models."

"We'll see." Oh, is she in for a surprise.

We keep walking on _Port du Louvre_, along the _Seine_. I really need to get Bella on one of those boats rides. The view from the city is completely different and the feeling of floating on the river is freeing, weightless. We turn left when we reach la _Rue de L'Amiral Coligny_. We are only a couple of blocks away from another _Métro _station that would take us back home, in case Bella wants to end the day soon.

We walk a couple of blocks until I lead her to this very cozy _café _on one of the side street, '_La Maison Rouge_'. I haven't been here in so long, it will almost feel like this is the first time.

"Oh, _Monsieur _Cullen. How lovely to see you again. It's been too long." Bernadette, the owner, says in her French accent. She's always treated me like I'm one of her kids, feeding me to the point where I had to take a taxi home one time. I couldn't bring myself to walk to the _Métro _station.

"Bernadette. A long time, that's true. But I haven't forgotten about you and I brought my friend Bella to taste your creations." She hugs me and for a moment I'm stunned. I haven't had this much human contact in a long time. But a second later I let myself relax into the familiarity of her embrace.

Bernadette feels like home and a warm meal on a winter day with a great wine by the fire. She _is_warmth, plain and simple. How could I have kept away for so long?

She releases me and turns to Bella, giving her the same kind of hug she did me, even before she got to say a word.

"Oh, so pretty. Such a pretty girl you bring, _Monsieur _Cullen. Come, I'll give you my best table. Come, come."

Bernadette pulls us to the second floor. The first floor holds the kitchen, a long counter and a few booths; it is the second floor where the rest of the tables are. It gives a sense of a private dining room, which makes for a cozy atmosphere. She sits us at a table by the window, facing the river in the distance. It's not a _café _by the river, but we can still see glimpses of it.

"I'll be right back, _Monsieur _Cullen."

"Alright, _Madame _Girard." I smile at her. Bella will be surprised when Bernadette comes back.

I turn and Bella is rolling her eyes. What did I do?

"Seems no woman is immune to your charms, Edward."

"What do you mean?"

"Bernadette. She looks absolutely giddy at the prospect of feeding you." She laughs softly, shaking her head.

"I know, but she's like that to everyone, just wait and see, _Mademoiselle _Swan."

With a smile, I look out the window and see more and more lights coming to life. I think about the moment a few years ago when I couldn't wait for Mom to meet Bernadette. I knew they'd get along great. That seems like a life-time ago.

When I turn to Bella she's looking at me once again with that look of curiosity she had the other day. She's trying to figure me out.

"Why are you looking at me like that?"

"I don't know." She shrugs. "For a man in the public eye, you seem to have this side of you that is completely a mystery to me. I never would've guessed it."

"We all do, Bella. We all have a private part."

"I know, but seems like not even you have been in contact with it for a long time. It's like you're discovering it again yourself."

I only smile. She's right and I don't know what to say. I feel like I should be scared that she can _see_me, but I find no ulterior reason behind her comments and observations, just plain curiosity, and so I find myself relaxed in her presence. I'm still not ready to tell her everything, but I also don't feel like guarding my every word around her.

The silence doesn't last much longer before Bernadette appears at our side to take our orders. When Bella hears the amount of food Bernadette is going to bring us, well, I bet she's calculating the distance from here to the _Métro _station.

Been there, Bella.

Bernadette decided to bring us an assortment of things, so she can gauge what Bella likes for future visits. She already knows mine, so I don't intervene when she talks.

When she leaves, Bella leans over the table and whispers. "Um, why did she call it taking our orders if she was the one _giving_ orders?"

I can't help to laugh at that comment. It's exactly what I thought the first time I came here.

"Bernadette is like a Mom to people. She's been working in the food business for so long that she knows pretty much from looking at you if you'll like something or not. I don't know how she does it. So she brings you food based on her impressions and other things that you might ask for as well. She pretty much nailed it the first time I came here.

"Since it's so different, most of her clientele are old time friends. Tourists think it's weird, but once you get to know her, you wouldn't have it any other way."

"Wow. Ok, I'm open to experience something new then."

An hour later, we are full to the brim. I truly don't think I can move. Again. Bella looks like she might pass out from sleep, but she's wearing a contented smile.

"So, was I right or was I right?"

"You were right, _Monsieur_ Cullen, and may I just say, boy you can eat. I take back any comment I ever made about your eating habits. My apologies." She seems like she's trying to make a small bow, but I can't tell, she barely moved her head.

I know the feeling.

"Apologies accepted, _Mademoiselle _Swan."

We don't talk for awhile; I'm not sure if we can talk at this point. We just sit in silence thinking about the day.

I never would've thought today would end this way when I woke up this morning, much less when I was snapping at Kate in my studio. I opened up a little bit to someone outside of my family; I took time off, something almost unheard of for me; I revisited a place I use to love; tried new pastries and encountered an old friend.

And it's just Monday.

"Ok, I think I'm ready to go, Edward. I'm falling asleep here on the table and I'm scared that Bernadette might bring more food." She does look scared.

"Ok, let's go, but let's take a taxi. I don't think I can walk to the station now and then face a second walk to my place." I really can't.

We say goodbye to Bernadette, promising to come back once again and she hands us some bags with more food.

She thinks we're too skinny.

On the way back to Bella's place the ride is calm and it hits me that the day is truly over. It's the first time that I don't want tomorrow's work day to come. Once a place of escape, now it looks like a place I can truly live without. Even though I could never stop creating.

We are standing by Bella's door, the taxi waiting to take me home.

"Well, Edward. This has truly been an incredible day. If I thought back on Saturday that meeting the famous Edward Cullen had been the highlight of my week, this one is by far my favorite day in a long time. Thank you."

"No, Bella. Thank you. You had the idea of taking me to the museum and that was an amazing gift, truly. Thanks for listening."

This time I lean a little further and kiss her cheek. She makes a little gasp when my lips touch her skin, but she doesn't move. I feel the heat from her skin and I just know that she's blushing under the dim lights. I wish I could see it.

When I move back, she sighs, finally breathing once again. I think I may have been holding my breath as well.

"Goodnight, sweet Bella. I'll call you soon and this time I _will_ call."

"Goodnight, Edward." She whispers and turns to head inside.

When I reach my apartment, all thoughts go back to Bella, the way she talks, looks, what she says and most of all, how she makes me feel.

I make a decision and grab my phone. After a few rings, the machine picks up.

"Hi, Mom? This is Edward. I was just calling to ... say hi, I guess. I know it's been a long time, but I wanted to hear your voice and hear from you and Dad. So ... um ... call me? Or I'll call back, no problem. Ok ... I love you, Mom."

There, a first step. One that I should've made a long time ago. I'll call Rose tomorrow to confirm that I'll see her on Saturday.

I sit by the window on my favorite couch while I eat the food that Bernadette gave me, because apparently, I have more space in my stomach than I thought. I'll probably pay for it big time tomorrow. With interest.

The lights of a Paris at night look brighter this evening, maybe I'm looking at it with different eyes, but it looks even more beautiful. I know there are people having fun right now, just starting their nights at this very moment while my day ends, but just like them, I feel like it's a beginning.

Could this be my chance at living again?

Only time will tell, but I'm both scared and excited to find out.

* * *

><p><strong>Small, but important steps for Edward :-) Hope you liked their little walk and now you also know a bit more about him. They'll slowly discover the city at the same time they discover each other in the future.<strong>

**You can find pics of the 'Dying Gladiator' by Pierre Julien on my profile.**

**A couple of things (yeah a couple, shush! lol):**

**- This story takes place in Paris, France (and of course I have to go and state the obvious), so RL locations will be depict throughout the chapters. However, in order to make things fit what's in my head, I'll be taking some creative license to change a few things here and there. Mostly, I'm trying to stay as close to reality as possible. So know that changes are intentional and don't be surprised when they only walk two steps from Arc de Triomphe to Tour Eiffel, lol. Just kidding, I wouldn't go THAT far … or would I? … no, not really.**

**- In other news, I posted a O/S last week, 'Always You', in case you want to read. It was inspired by a pic (found on my profile) and what came out was a happy story. Something that I hope makes you smile.**

**- Also, 'Forbidden Muse' was rec'd by The Perv Pack's Smut Shack in their Lemon Report last week. The fact that people still read my first story makes me smile, but rec it? Yeah, no words. FM was also reviewed last month by the pretty phoebespromise for the Indie Fic Pimp's 'Completed Fic of the Week'. Again, no words. You girls make me smile too much. Stop it, lol. You can find the links on my profile and Forbidden Muse under My Stories if you wish to read.**

**And I think that's it for this week (as if this A/N wasn't long enough, lol). Again, thanks for reading, sweeties :-) and I'll see ya in two weeks.**


	4. Notes

**Greetings :-)**

**And we're off to a new chapter. From the response to the last one, I gather you like it when they reveal a little bit about their past? lol.**

**Because I can't say it enough (and it truly never will be enough) many thanks to my beta Songster for her help. For realz, you have no idea the kind of emails I send her way, lol.**

**I own stuff, just not Twilight.**

**Let's see what these kids are up to this time ...**

O~o~O~LB~O~o~O

'**Notes'**

Just as I expect, the next day I feel like crap. All I want to do is crawl up in bed and not talk to anyone. But I need to go to work, even though I consider leaving early once again.

When did that happen?

Oh, yes. It happened yesterday afternoon, after that lovely time with Bella. I truly wouldn't mind skipping work in the future, if we could spend times like that again and again.

After taking so much antacid that I wonder if you can actually overdose on it, I make it to the studio. All throughout the day people give me weird looks. Maybe they never thought I would actually be back, or perhaps it's because I keep grinning like a idiot. Tanya's words.

After I apologize to Kate about yesterday, I lock myself in my studio. Ever since Saturday, all I want to do is sketch new designs. I feel driven by thoughts of Bella and that happy feeling doesn't leave me, even as I check out fabric samples for the new collection with my team. Even the smallest task doesn't seem so boring today.

I'm trying to decide if gold or silver details would go best with this dress when my phone rings. I don't even look at the caller ID; frankly, I'm a little pissed at being interrupted.

I think the happy feeling is wearing off.

"Cullen," I snap.

"Edward? Is that you? Is this a bad time?" I stop everything I'm doing and close my eyes at hearing the familiar voice. It's been so long, yet the sweet comfort is still there.

"Mom?" I choke.

"Edward." She sighs relieved. She probably never thought I'd actually pick up.

"Mom, this is a perfect time." I leave the samples, papers, threads, everything behind and go out into my balcony. It is one of the reasons I chose this office as my private studio. It gives me the space to breathe.

"Um ... I got your call yesterday. I wanted to call last night, but I didn't know if you'd be sleep or not and-"

"Mom, it's ok. It's always ok; you truly can call at any time." I feel like shit listening to her giving me reasons about her call.

"Oh, ok. Is everything alright? You sounded ... different." And I feel different, Mom, better, so much better.

"Yeah, everything's alright. I just missed you." I hear a small choked gasp at the other end of the line. Such a small word, _missed_, and it already represents so much of what we've both been feeling.

"Oh, Edward. We've missed you too. So much." I hear her say through her tears.

"Don't cry, Mom. It's not your fault; it's all me."

I stay in silence for a few minutes. I hear her cry and every second that passes breaks my heart for being at fault for that.

"I'm sorry for reacting this way." She composes herself. "But you have no idea how happy I am to hear your voice again." Just a simple call from me and I could've made her this happy a long time ago.

"Don't be sorry, Mom, please. I'm happy to hear yours too." I smile when I remember all those times when that same voice sang to us to sleep, blanketing us in safety. It still has the same effect.

"So, what's going on with you? How are you?" Mom asks not only out of curiosity, but out of concern as well. For a time after the divorce, they all felt I shouldn't even be left alone.

"I'm-" How am I? Such a simple question, but I can't think of a simple answer. I close my eyes and images of Bella flash behind them.

"I'm better, Mom, better."

"I'm glad, Edward. That's all we ever wanted." I know that, even back when I denied it.

"Listen, Mom. I want to see you, you and Dad. I'm going over to see Rose and Marie on Saturday, do you think you can go then?"

The only one I've been in contact with has been Rose and Marie and that was only because Rose showed up one day with Marie in her arms and demanded I babysit her. After a few hours of having tea parties with every imaginary friend possible, I felt like a bit of that darkness was lifted. Marie, my shining light.

When Rose got back, the only thing I did was hug her and cry on her shoulder. She didn't say anything and ever since, she's given me the space and time to tell her bits and pieces of the parts she doesn't know.

"We want to see you too." She sounds excited. "I'll talk to Rose and arrange things."

"Ok, then." I'm happy and nervous, but the knot in my stomach is the first sign that I'm actually allowing myself to feel something, anything.

"Well, I have to go now. It was great talking to you, son, really great. We'll see you on Saturday." She says that last part kind of like a question and waits for my answer. I know that until Saturday she'll be nervous about me canceling on them.

"Ok, Mom. I'll _see_ you on Saturday. I promise."

We say goodbye and I stay at the balcony a while longer. The warm air of the afternoon calms me and for a moment I feel ... normal. I feel like any other guy, meeting a girl, working in his own business, making plans to meet with his family on weekends. That is what I always wanted, but not what Renata did. She always wanted to go out, to shop, to drink with her friends. God forbid if we spent a night in watching a movie or just talking.

I had been so blinded by her charms, I didn't realize she was playing me. I thought I was in love with her. What a delusion that had been.

I spend the rest of the day in my studio, all happy thoughts forgotten, almost a distant memory, and walk home. For a second, I consider going to visit Bella, but then talk myself out of it. Not only would I look like a stalker, but my mood would put a dent on things.

O~o~O~LB~O~o~O

I've been pacing my living room for the past twenty minutes, every once in a while, I stare at my phone and start dialing her number, but then I chicken out and start pacing again.

I can't believe how much of a fifteen year old girl I am right now. It's just a simple call to catch up with a friend and maybe see when we can see each other again. Nothing more.

Even _I_can't believe that thought.

I give up; it is now or never.

"_Allô_?"

"Bella? This is Edward," I whisper. I can't find my voice.

"Oh, Edward! Yes, how are you? Sorry, didn't check my caller ID."

"No worries, I don't check it either when I'm busy. Are you busy right now? I could call again-" A soft laughter interrupts me.

"It's ok, Edward. I'm not busy, just making some dinner. Although I'm not surprised that you don't check your caller ID, you know, being that you don't use your phone to call people." She teases.

"Ok, I don't call _one_time and from then on I'm a bad caller? I'll call you every day if that changes your mind." Funny thing is that I'm not even kidding.

"Ok, ok. You're redeeming yourself with this call. So, tell me, how are you?"

"Fine, doing a lot of work lately actually. It's driving my team crazy."

"Really? That's great ... That you're working, not that you're driving people crazy." She sounds nervous and that in return makes me calm. Maybe I'm not the only one freaking out about phone calls.

"Well, _Mademoiselle_ Swan, my people appreciate the concern." She only giggles.

"Ok, so I was calling to see if you wanted to have lunch with me on Sunday? We could go to this place I know or whatever." Fifteen year old girl is back.

"Oh, that sounds great." She sounds a little ... disappointed? Maybe I've been reading the signs the wrong way.

"We don't have to, if you can't." Or don't want to. "Maybe you already have plans?"

"Oh no, Edward. It's not that. Sunday lunch sounds lovely, I was just thinking that maybe I could cook for us. You took me to Bernadette, now I can repay the favor."

She's inviting me over? This is better than I thought and I can't to stop the huge grin that's making my face muscles hurt.

"That would be great, Bella. Thank you, I'll bring the wine."

"Well, Sunday it is then. Come over at any time, no problem." She's quiet after that and there is a nervous vibe in the air.

"Ok. Now tell me about your day. Any more of those flying little buttons?" I tease, I want things back to happy.

"No, actually, buttons are sticking to their owners pretty well these days."

After that we talked about our days and plans for the week. I don't tell her about my visit to my family. It would lead to questions I don't want to answer right now. But the rest of the talk is easy.

I go to bed that night feeling like I'm floating.

O~o~O~LB~O~o~O

"_Monsieur_ Cullen, you have a visitor." Irina tells me from the door to my office, just when I'm ready to leave for the day on Friday.

"A visitor? I didn't know there was something scheduled for today. And now?" I'm really annoyed right now. I was ready to go home and end this week; tomorrow would be an important day and I just want to relax, or try, until then.

"I'm sorry, but she insists that it is important. It is not on the agenda though." Irina looks apologetic and if were not for the fact that I have to pass in front of this person outside, I'd tell her to come back on Monday. I need a second door to my office.

"Did she give you a name?" I'm really annoyed and trying really hard not to snap on Irina.

"Yes, she said her name is _Mademoiselle _Rougeur_._"

_Mademoiselle _Rougeur? I don't recall her name, but the faster I let her in, the sooner I can go home. I nod to let Irina know that this person can come in.

When the door opens, the woman standing there is the last one I expect, but the one that's been at the forefront of my mind for days now. Looking more beautiful than ever in yet another dress, and holding a small pink box wrapped in a chocolate color ribbon, stands Bella. I don't know what is more appealing, her coming to see me or the fact that is Bella carrying pastries.

"Hello, _Monsieur _Cullen. I have this important order to deliver."

Irina gives us a questioning look.

"_Mademoiselle _Rougeur, thank you for bringing such a treat personally. I appreciate it." I turn to Irina. "It's ok, Irina. I had forgotten about this. You can leave; see you on Monday."

Once Irina leaves, Bella and I laugh.

"_Mademoiselle _Rougeur_?_Really?"

"I know, I'm so lame," she groans. "I panicked when she asked for my name and I wanted it to be a surprise. Besides, you seem to be very taken with my blush, _Monsieur_ Cullen." And again that lovely blush covers her cheeks.

_"_Yes, well ... um." I clear my throat and I think now _I'm _blushing. "What are you doing here, Bella? Not that I'm not glad."

"Well, I told Alice about meeting you last week and she made you something. I know you don't know her, but she's always making treats for people, and she thought this might be funny. Please don't judge me on her account."

I feel a little disappointed that she's here just because of her friend, but it balances out with the fact that she's talking about me with them.

"You could've given it to me on Sunday and not bother to come here."

"I know, but I wanted to see you before Sunday." Bella confesses and blushes.

Hello, dear grin, that seems to be making a permanent home of my face.

"Well, I'm glad. I wanted to see you too." I take her hand and lead her to sit close to the balcony.

"Let's see what's in the box."

When I open it, I can't help but laugh. Inside, there is a small cake shaped like a button, with a needle on the top, made out of chocolate.

"I know," Bella groans. "She was going to write 'Cute as a button' on top, but I stopped her. And now I just told you."

"Bella, this is great, don't be embarrassed. Thank Alice for me."

"She'll be happy to hear that."

I seem to be laughing a lot when she's around. I gaze at Bella and can't help but think how many more changes will happen in my life with her in it.

"What?"

"Nothing."

"Hey, are you busy tonight? I'm going out with Alice and her husband now, and you'd get the chance to thank her yourself." She looks hopeful.

Of course I'll go.

"That would be great, I just need to stop by my place for a moment. Is that ok?"

"Yeah, sure."

We are nearing my apartment and now I'm getting nervous. Bella will be in my home, a place no one has seen in a while, not even the girls I've dated since divorcing. No way I could let someone else enter my haven. But now? Now I just worry if my dirty socks are on the couch or safely in the hamper. Hopefully, the latter.

We enter and I tell Bella to get comfortable, I just need to change clothes and we can go. As I do, I'm anxious for what's to come. I'm guessing will be going to a bar or maybe a club. Dancing? I can't remember the last time I danced.

When I get back into my living room, Bella is sitting in my favorite couch by the window, watching the lights from the city reflect on the glass. I near her and it looks like little stars are dancing in her eyes. She looks so peaceful, I don't want to interrupt her.

"It's beautiful, isn't it? I never thought I'd be living here in Paris when I was younger. I've always lived in Seattle and then a few years in New York before coming here. Who knew where my life would take me?" Her look is surprised, as if she really is wondering what happened to her life.

But there is also pain in her eyes, the same pain I saw that first day I met her. She hides it well though, but not well enough. Behind those bright golden flecks in her eyes, there is a dark cloud. I should know; I live with one myself.

"I ask myself that question often, actually."

"A divorce can do that to you." Her head whips to look at me and her eyes widen at saying this. She looks at me guiltily and opens her mouth to talk.

"I know you know about my divorce, Bella." I stop her. "At least what people talked about pretty much everywhere.

"And yes, a divorce can do that. Especially a divorce like mine." I shake my head, more out of frustration for being so goddamn blind than out of anger for what Renata did.

"Come, let's go." She lifts up from the couch and extends her hand for me to take. She won't push me to tell her anything more. And for that, I'm grateful.

O~o~O~LB~O~o~O

We're heading once again to the _Métro_station. "Where are we going this time, Bella?"

"So impatient. Just let me surprise you, ok? You'll like this."

We take the _Métro_ once again at _Charles de Gaulle – Étoile_, but this time we stop at _Châtelet _station. The streets are full of people, all chattering and laughing, kissing and hugging. I haven't been here in a long time, I had forgotten what nights out look like.

Bella pulls me by my sleeve down _Rue Saint-Denis_. Now the air is not only filled with laughter and talk, but also with scents of food and smoke and sounds of music. Everything looks so ... _alive_, overwhelming.

We stop at one point in front of a small club, crowed with people outside. Bella greets everyone and I wonder how often she comes here. She leads me inside and the place is dark and packed, the sounds louder now. There is a small stage in the back with a piano and other instruments, and a few people playing live music.

"Bella!" A woman yells close to the stage.

"Come, there's Alice. You'll love her."

Alice hugs and kisses Bella's cheeks, then she turns to me.

"Well, hello, _Monsieur _Cullen. Nice meeting you." She comes closer and hugs me, kissing my cheeks. I have no idea what to do.

"Nice meeting you as well, Alice, and it's Edward, please. Thank you for the cake, by the way."

"Oh, you're welcome. I was feeling ... inspired." She grins at Bella who blushes, I think; the place is kind of dark. They seem like they are having a stare down.

"Ok, let's sit, shall we?" Bella breaks and moves us to the table.

We order drinks and pretty soon we are comfortably talking. Bella was right, I like Alice. She's fun and exuberant. Also, the fact that she bakes my now favorite treats, may have something to do with her charm.

We are joined by her husband Jasper and while the girls talk, he and I engage in conversation. Turns out, Jasper's a pediatrician and even knows my Dad from the many organizations and functions he attends. They both share a love for kids and want to help them any way they can. You can tell by the way Jasper talks about his little girl as well.

I go to the bar to buy more drinks and when I make my way back, another band is playing on stage. I can't see them while I dodge people, but when I get to the table and only Alice is sitting there, facing the stage, that is when I can truly see.

It's Jasper and Bella.

He's playing the guitar and singing a soft tune in French, while Bella plays the piano, singing a duet with him.

I can't believe the sight. Bella's hands glide so easily over the ivory keys, it looks like they're barely touching them; creating notes, that mixed with Jasper's, make the air around us feel charged with electricity.

Her eyes are closed and she sways softly from side to side, completely possessed by the music they are creating. Their words blend easily in the air and, along with the notes, it's like you can see them floating all around us. And I _want_to see them, I want to grab them and put them in my pocket for later. Fall asleep with her voice dancing around my home.

I have no idea what happens around me because all I see is her, all I'm _surrounded_ by, is her.

"She's good, isn't she?" I hear Alice at my side, but I only nod. I don't want to break the spell just yet.

They float from song to song with such ease; I can tell they've done this for a long time. And it's easy and it's comfortable and I want to stay in this club forever.

I look around and it's like everyone is feeling the way I am, completely entranced by them. Although, in my case it is more with Bella than anything else.

When they end, she opens her eyes and looks at me; her eyes clear from that dark fog. We all take a moment to let the music fade into the air and then we break into applause. Once again, the room is back to the rhythm that it was in when we first got here.

"Bella, I-" I take her hand when she sits and squeeze it a little. It's the only way I know of letting her know how incredible she was up there.

"You guys were amazing. I can't believe it's been like a month since you played," Alice says, curled by Jasper's side.

"How did you-? What-?"

"I learned to play when I was little." Bella moves closer to me, so I can hear her over the noise of the club. "Mom used to have this small sewing room at home, like a studio or something, with all her fabrics, threads, patterns and her sewing machine. God, I loved that sewing machine, the sound was always so comforting. You could hear it from everywhere in our small house.

"Every time she was working there, she had a radio on. Her favorite tunes were always the ones involving a piano. She would hum and even work following the melody, although I doubt she ever realized that. She looked so happy." Bella laughs and I just notice that we're _really_ close to each other, her voice is all I hear.

"In my mind, I thought she was happy because of the music. So I thought that playing piano would make my Mom that happy at any moment, not just when she was working. She indulged me, and I started taking lessons and playing for her. She smiled even when I sucked at the beginning."

I notice that Jasper and Alice are closer to the stage talking to someone from another band. I hadn't even noticed they left.

"I would play on our little piano in the living room and she would work in her studio. Through the years I realized that it was not the piano, it really _was_her work and the bubble she created there. She loved spending time there with me as well, talking about school and friends.

"I don't know. Even today, every time I play, I can see her there in that little studio, making tutus for the girls at the ballet studio, or patching up my jeans from all the times I fell. I don't play much today, but each time is special."

"Who are you?" I tease, but not really at some level.

"Bella Swan. Are you losing your memory already? You're not _that_ old."

"I just, wow. What more can you do?"

"What?" She laughs. "Am I a circus show now? What any other tricks I can do? This is it, playing piano and sewing, nothing more."

But she doesn't realize that _it is_much more. She can create things, designs, music. She clearly can create more than she's leading on.

"Dance with me," I say, getting up and taking her hand to the small dance space across the room. I saw people making their way there a while ago, the music now much softer.

I notice Jasper and Alice dancing as well and she winks at me when we pass them.

I know I'll probably make a fool out of myself, but it feels like I need to be close to her, to hold her in my arms and convince myself that she's real.

As we move with the music, holding her close to me, I realize that there is so much I don't know about her and in turn, so much she doesn't know about me. I've been thinking about this woman all week and all I know is that she sews and plays piano and sings. I knew less about Renata and I married her, for crying out loud.

Our moves are simple, but her body feels oh so very good against mine. It's the most contact we've ever had and I don't want it to end.

Her hands are on my neck, mine on her waist, just letting the world around us fade. It seems it's something that happens whenever I'm close to her. She's soothing.

We dance for a while and then join Jasper and Alice at the table, going back to our easy talk. During all this time, Bella doesn't let go of my hand.

Hours later, when Alice is almost passing out, we leave.

The air outside is a bit cold, but also feels much fresher than what we've been breathing for the last couple of hours. We say goodbye to Jasper and Alice and I'm glad that I met Bella's friends. They're funny and interesting and I could see myself being friends with them as well.

We walk to the _Métro _station; we didn't drink too much and the fresh air seems to be waking us up. There are so many people out here still; their energy is contagious.

"Thanks for inviting me, Bella. I had a great time with Jasper and Alice."

"You're welcome. I told you you'd like it. Jasper really liked you, you know. And Alice is happy about that; the poor guy needs some adult conversation being surrounded with kids all day long."

"I bet, and I need some testosterone, being surrounded by women all day." I smile, but I feel Bella stiffen at my side.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing, just thinking." We stay quiet, and I can tell Bella wants to say more.

"Edward, I know I never asked you before, but are you - you know - seeing anyone at the moment?" Her voice is so low, I almost missed her question. Of course this is a concern, she's seen the pictures of me with different women in the media. Half of those have only been dates to specific events and nothing more, but to the world, I look like I date a lot. A lot.

"Bella, I'm not. I haven't seen anyone in a long time, really. Barely one time encounters." Shit, I'm making it worse.

"Oh." Yep, oh.

"And you? Are you seeing any musician I should know about?" I try to tease but it comes off more awkward than anything.

"Me? No, I haven't dated in a while either, ever since ... I came from the States." She furrows her brow and looks so sad. Something happened before coming here that makes her feel like that. A man maybe? I don't even know what happened, or if there is something to tell, but I want to take that pain away.

The only thing I can think of doing is to comfort her _now_, so I take her hand and move closer to her so that our arms are touching from hand to shoulder, at least in her case, I'm taller.

It works, I see her shoulders relax and a tiny smile on her lips. After that, we keep walking to the station and ride the _Métro_, never losing contact, drawing small figures on each other's skins.

When we get to her place, I move to say goodbye and again, she surprises me.

"Do you want to come in? Have some coffee?" With any other woman, that would be code for spending the night, but I know that is not the case with Bella. She wants this night to not end yet. Just like me.

"Are you sure? I don't want to bother you."

"_I'm _inviting you, Edward. Which means it's ok." Rolling her eyes she opens the door, which leads to a set of stairs to the second floor.

She opens the door to her place and switches on the lights. The place is so Bella, I feel almost like I could learn who she is, just by standing here.

There is a small living room with a very comfortable looking sofa, I can tell she spends a lot of time there, since is right in front of the small balcony I saw from outside that first day and has the perfect view of the square, with books on the side table. Perfect place to read.

To the left there is a small kitchen, well equipped. She either cooks or bakes a lot, or perhaps Alice had a hand in that. Next to it, there is a small table near the window, it looks like the perfect spot to enjoy the light from outside while you eat.

To my right I see white french doors that lead to her bedroom, a white iron bed facing a window looking to the south of the city.

Right next to the entrance door, I notice a set of stairs that lead to the third floor.

There is a lot of white and soft colors, but instead of making the place feel cold, they have the opposite effect. Everything is so ... luminous. There is no other word to put it. Light everywhere you look.

Some of the furniture is antique looking, white with scraped edges, and there are photographs everywhere.

Everything feels so peaceful here.

"So, this is my place." Bella comes from the kitchen and I hear the sounds of the coffee being brewed. How long had I been staring to her place?

"It's ... you."

"You think?" She's really curious about my observation.

"Yes. Peaceful, beautiful, warm. It feels like home."

"Thank you, I'm always changing things here and there, but this is me." She says motioning to the room.

"Come, I'll show you my studio while the coffee is ready."

I follow her up the other set of stairs and the third floor is only her studio and a small bathroom to the back. Everywhere I look there are fabrics hanging, half finished clothes, sewing mannequins with pins and needles and everything you could need.

The far left wall is divided in two, the bottom part has many small drawers and when I get closer, I see they have buttons, beads, clasps, zippers. The top half has shelves and hundreds, yes, hundreds of thread rolls. Everything organized.

"Oh my God, Bella. This is amazing. This rivals professional studios. How did you get all of this?"

"I worked very hard for these. Some I brought with me when I moved here and others I bought here in time. I see them as investments, so I don't mind spending money on this. I also have a contact who provides me with what I need."

There are a couple of tables, one with sketches and pencils and fabric samples, and another one with marked fabrics, ready to cut. She's ready to start working.

The right wall of the room and the one in front of the entrance door have wide french doors that open up to a long balcony that rounds the corner of the building. Even though the sun is gone, I can tell the room is very bright during the day because of those french doors. This is the perfect place to work with colors and study how they change in the fabrics.

I notice an ironing station and this old Singer sewing machine. When I approach it, I know it's her mother's.

"That was a bitch to bring here, not only for the size and weight of it, but also the different electrical system here. A voltage converter was one of my first purchases. I know there are more modern ones and I have another that I use more often, but the feel of this one has no match." She touches it so delicately, almost afraid to break it.

It's incredible to see her like this, everything around her has a deeper meaning. She's made this place, this town, her home in every sense of the word. I did the same when I came back after school, but I forgot all about it. It was that trip to the _Louvre _with Bella that started to remind me of how I felt about Paris..

I want that back.

I move to the balcony door on the right side of the room, the one facing south of the city, and the view from up here is breathtaking. Right in front of it, it's like the city is laid out before us, a blanket of twinkling lights in the dark night, nothing obstructing the view. Even though we're not that high above the city, I can pretty much see them as far as the eye can reach.

_Tour Eiffel _a bright beacon in the distance. I feel a small comfort, knowing that it's the same view I have from my place as well and that perhaps, Bella finds comfort in looking at it as I do.

"I love working up here. Such a calming sight." I hear from my side. I can see her reflection in the glass doors, a faint smile on her lips.

"It is. One of the many perks of living in this city."

We watch the city for a few moments, just enjoying the silence and the sight, and then reluctantly head downstairs.

We sit on the couch and talk about our night.

"I can't believe someone so tiny can drink that much."

"I know, right? And she's tamer since having Aimée, you should've seen her in college."

"Jasper's a pretty cool guy. So much more calm and relaxed."

"Yes, they are perfect for each other. His personality is great for kids, actually. He's like their cool uncle or something."

"I can see that in him."

I think about my niece and how happy she always is, not a care in the world. Why do we have to grow up? Why can't we stay just like that in a world of toys and fantasy?

"I'm seeing my family tomorrow," I blurt. I don't know what came over me, but I feel so at ease with her.

"Oh, that's nice. When was the last time you saw them?"

"My sister, just last week." I smile, remembering that was the day I met her.

"My parents, well, a couple of years or so. I stopped seeing them short after Renata's ... death." I could barely say her name without feeling guilty.

"Grief does that, Edward." Or guilt.

"I know, I just miss them and, I don't know, I feel like it's time, you know? Baby steps, perhaps."

"I'm glad you're doing that. From what you've told me, they sound like a very loving family, and I bet they are dying to see you again."

"Yeah."

We fall into a silence and I keep my eyes on my warm cup of coffee. The smell is comforting and, not surprisingly, fits the feel of her place.

"I guess I better go. Big day tomorrow." I break the silence and stand, making my way to the door.

"Ok, good luck tomorrow, Edward. I'm sure things will turn out ok."

At the bottom of the stairs we say goodbye and, just like last Tuesday, I kiss her cheek, only this time, she's not surprised by the move. She even kisses me back.

I truly can't stop the fluttery feeling in my stomach whenever our skin touches, more now that her lips have made contact.

"Goodnight, Bella. I'll see you on Sunday."

"Goodnight, Edward."

Later that night, while I eat my button cake, I get the feeling that it is sweeter than any other cake I have ever eaten, smoother than any other.

I touch my lips and I can still feel the light buzz from where they kissed Bella. I guess, it's not the cake that's sweeter, maybe it's my life with her in it.

* * *

><p><strong>Cake ... 'nuff said. I swear these kids will be rolling down the streets of Paris by the end of this story. <strong>

**Seems our Bella has a few tricks up her sleeve, now E needs to step it up a notch. I'll make him do juggling or something, lol. Now you know a little about her past and you've also met Alice and Jasper. Next chapter ... his family.**

**No pics this week, not even of button cakes, lol.**

**Also, I always forget to mention that you can check out teasers for this story or whatever I might (ok, will) post in the future, on Mondays on PicTease and Fictionators. Check those sites out, I've found great little gems in there ;-)**

**Anyway, thanks for reading, sweeties, and I'll see ya in two weeks.**


	5. Hideaways

**Greetings, sweet ladies :-)**

**I'm glad you liked the little peek into Bella's life: her past, her studio, her friends. She's still a bit of a mystery to Edward and things will be revealed in time. I promise.**

**As per usual, many, many thanks to my beta Songster for her help in making this story look pretty.**

**I don't own Twilight, but I think you already knew that.**

**Now let's meet the Cullens ...**

O~o~O~LB~O~o~O

**'Hideaways'**

When I wake up the next morning, I have a feeling that something is off, I can't pinpoint exactly what that might be, but something is. However, everything looks the same: the same light coming through the windows, small motes of dust floating in the air; the same noises from the outside, car horns and people talking.

All normal, yet, not really.

I move my hands to rub the sleep from my face and it is then that I notice that I'm ... smiling. I woke up this morning smiling. Is that even physically possible? Shouldn't I be sore or something using all those muscles for God knows how long? It must've been an effect from a dream. What did I dream last night?

Flashes of yesterday pass before my eyes: button cakes, pianos, swaying, coffee ... Bella. And now the surprise at waking up with my face muscles turned into a smile fades, now I'm feeling excited, hopeful ... happy.

And _that's_ a reason to really smile.

My time with Bella seems to always turn into something out of the ordinary. And I find that I like that, I like that very much. I should be wary at not knowing what will happen next, where will this thing - whatever this thing is - take us, but the fluttery feeling in my stomach says otherwise. On some level, I don't want to know what will happen next, I just want to jump and let everything unfold; and after so much time at being in control of everything, that thought is a little unsettling.

There is also another part of me that _is_ scared, scared of what she could do to me once I let her in. I believe I could be happy with her, I _am_ happy with her and we've only known each other for a week, but what if she leaves? Or more like, _when _she leaves?

I'm not scared of my time with Bella; I'm scared of my time after she's gone.

The fluttery feeling in my stomach now turns into a full on punch to the gut. The very thought of her leaving, or worse, me driving her away, breaking her, absolutely rips me apart. Forget about punches in the gut, this feels like hot electricity burning me from inside out, pulsing and taking that heat to every limb.

I can't break her; I just can't let that happen. All my common sense is telling me to back away now, to leave her alone and move on with my life, but deep down I know it's too late for backing away now. And that thought is what scares me the most.

I move out of bed before my thoughts turn even _more _morose.

I get ready to go to Rose's and thoughts of my family lift my mood a bit, even though I know it won't be an easy day for anyone.

What will it be like to see my parents again? Good? Bad? Mom seemed happy when I called her the other day, but maybe with the passing of the days she changed her mind?

I wrap my gift for Marie and after checking that I have everything I need, I make my way outside. The day is warm, and since it's Saturday, the streets seem more full of kids and happy couples. Just like the day I met Bella a week ago.

A week? It feels like much longer, but at the same time, it's not long enough. I wonder how long would be enough. A month? A year? A decade? Perhaps a day was too much already and I should just walk away.

And again with the dark thoughts.

I take the _Métro_ and get off at _Pont de Neuilly_ station. Rose moved to this beautiful, three-story house with five bedrooms, a playroom for Marie and a studio for her in _Neuilly sur Seine_, west of Paris. She wanted a place a little bit far away from the city itself, but not that much. It also was one of the few locations that met her criteria for house hunting. She was very specific.

She bought it three years ago, after her first book reached number one. She especially fell in love with the back yard; it resembled a tiny forest, something that looked out of one of her books.

Rose's children books, the 'Peter's Secret Door' series, depict a magical world with enchanted forests and kids fighting fantastic creatures, using their powers to beat them. After her own history, all of her main characters have the strength to overcome difficulties. She wanted to teach kids that you don't have to be a victim of your situations, you can fight back and ultimately win.

The books were an instant hit and lately she's been writing a new series targeted to older readers. From what we've talked about, it has allowed her to show her voice more clearly, not having to hide her emotions so much this time for the sake of the kids.

Just like in her books, she transformed the tiny haven in the backyard into an fantasy world. Filled with moss covered ground and tree trunks, with bright colorful flowers flanking a stone path leading to a secret cabin that blends with the surroundings, the backyard was a true marvel. Tiny lights are hidden in the high branches, twinkling in the night. Even in the winter there is magic to be found there with the tiny forest covered in snow.

Marie pretty much lives out there and Rose joins her often to play and to take inspiration out of her surroundings to write.

She's a strict mother to Marie; she knows she's been lucky and doesn't want to spoil her that much, but the garden is one of the things she indulged her with. I would argue that it was too much, but I would've done the same.

I'm her uncle, I have a right to spoil her.

I'm nervous as I make my way down the street to Rose's house. Will my parents be there already? Maybe later? Or at all?

Rose buzzes me in through the iron gates and I make my way across the front yard, something that, just like everything else about this house, isn't small at all. There is enough room in the round driveway for three cars easily, with a small fountain in the center.

I teased Rose that it was way too much for anyone to live in that house; she was already living in an upscale neighborhood, why did she want more? That comment earned me a kick in the shin. She was wearing stilettos.

I notice that my parents' car is not parked in the driveway. It gives me some relief to know that I'll have some time to gather my thoughts before their arrival. Knowing my parents, they probably did it on purpose.

The door opens and a fast cloud of yellow and pink comes running straight at me and attaches herself to my legs.

"Uncle Ed!" Marie says smiling up at me. She looks so happy, missing tooth and all.

"_Mon soleil_." My very own ray of sunshine.

I pick her up, balancing her gift and her in my arms, and give her a kiss on each cheek, her fairy wings tickling my arms. She giggles and does the same to me. She's always loved this tradition.

I look to the door and see Rose standing there with her arms crossed. She's dressed casually, but looks gorgeous as always. After everything that happened with Royce, she's finally herself, not pretending to be perfect for his benefit. Still, there's a cloud in her eyes that she can't get rid off yet.

"About time you got here. She's been bouncing off the walls all morning."

"Sorry, I took my time. You know."

"I do. They won't bite, you know?" She gives me a sympathetic smile, she understands my nerves more than anyone.

We go inside and Marie immediately leads me out back to her secret world, talking my ear off with this and that. Only the family is allowed in the cabin since we were given permission by the 'fairy princess'. I just wish that her magic could prevent me from bending so damn much trying to fit in that tiny space.

Once we're settled in, I give her the present I've been carrying.

Her eyes shine when she sees what's inside the small box: a small tux for _Monsieur_ Bouffi. Her stuffed bear.

Rose always teases me that I spoil the kid too much, but like I've told her many times, I'm her uncle, what else am I gonna do? I took care of her for a couple of months after she was born and Rose was unable to do so, so fragile and tiny. It makes me happy to see her smiling round face.

As it is, the bear has more clothes than I do. All of them custom made. For a second I consider that I _might_ be spoiling her too much after all.

"Ooohhh, a suit! For the party! Yay!" She squeals and goes to wake up _Monsieur _Bouffi from his afternoon nap. The fact that I've been whispering ever since we entered the cabin so we don't wake him up doesn't faze me. If she believes it, I believe it.

"Yes, _mon soleil_. He has to look his best, there might be a girl-bear at the party."

"Silly uncle. He only likes me." She giggles and fills the small room with the sound.

I look around the cabin and I chuckle at the thought of Rose saying _I_ spoil her. Look who's talking, sis. She created a new world for her daughter behind her own house!

We play for an hour and in that time, I forget that I'll see my parents soon. Rose must've told them that I'd be here earlier playing with Marie, so beside the fact that they want to give me space by coming later, they don't want to intrude on my time with my niece.

After Marie gets bored, I take her to the park near the house. We play for another hour and I wonder when did I get so old, I'm exhausted. Also, I don't think I can keep up with any more conversations with _Monsieur _Bouffi.

When we get to the house, Marie runs to her room to change outfits. She's tired of being a fairy. Rose has cameras in the playroom and other rooms that she can check out in the kitchen, so I don't worry about leaving her alone.

Security, another thing Rose didn't spare money on.

I find Rose in the kitchen, baking some cupcakes. They remind me of a special little bakery and a beautiful woman living above it.

"What's with the look?" Rose regards me from the other side of the kitchen island.

"What look?"

"The one you were making just now. For starters, you were smiling. You don't smile just because. And you looked like you were enjoying some memory? What's got my moody brother all smiley?"

Fuck, seems once you start smiling you can't stop.

"Nothing." I'm not sure why I say this. This is far from nothing and Rose won't buy it.

"Bullshit. Something happened to you and I wanna know what." She's crossing her arms and pouting. The sight makes me laugh, she hasn't used that deadly pout in years and unfortunately for me, she passed it onto Marie.

"Alright, alright. Put that pout away. I'll tell you what happened. Jesus."

She's grinning all triumphant now. I haven't seen that smile in years either.

"After lunch with you last week, I sort of met someone, a girl." I'm not sure why I clarify that last point, it's not like I've been a monk these past years. My sister knows I've dated and boy did she have an opinion about those women.

Before she starts talking I interrupt. "And before you get any ideas, she's just a friend."

She's silent and looking at me weirdly. I'm not sure what to make of it.

"You met a girl? A girl that you only want as a friend?" Repeating it doesn't make it any less true. I nod.

"Tell me about her."

And just like that, Rose accepts what I just told her, turning her back to me to take the cupcakes out of the oven.

"That's it? You're not questioning my sanity? God knows I am."

"Jesus, Edward. What do you want me to say? It's about time you met someone and want to see her for more than one time." While she sets the cupcakes on top of a cooling rack, I sit in a booth. Something tells me I wanna sit down for this.

"Look, I understand your behavior for these past two years, I really do. I don't agree with it, but I understand. You helped me a lot after Royce and, besides the fact that you're my brother, that is the reason I can't just give up on you. Mom and Dad either. Seeing you happy was what they really wanted and if being away from you did that, at least for a while, they'd do it. They actually did it.

"But not me, Edward. I know what you're going through and I'm damned if I'm not going to be a pushy bitch and just let you go. No way that's gonna happen. I won't let you miss Marie's life just because you have some stupid notion that you don't deserve happiness."

It's true. I've never been more grateful for her pushy ways more than I am now. For her not letting me miss Marie's life.

"And seeing you here, sitting in my kitchen with a look that I haven't see on you even before Renata, I can see that there is something different about this girl. And I like her, I don't know her, but I already like her. If her presence in your life made you even consider calling Mom and Dad, I wanna know about her. So, just cut the crap and tell me about her."

Rose, always to the point.

I tell her about Bella. It feels so liberating to talk to someone about her. It's like a secret that I can't keep to myself. I guess I've been bottling this up all this past week. I also tell her about my hesitance to continue seeing her and the damage I might cause.

"Again with that crap? You are not a bad guy, Edward. You just have to believe it a little. Look, you say she's great, so why would she be with you, even as a friend, if she hadn't seen _something_worth knowing? You know she's seen the magazines, she knows a little at least."

"But she doesn't know everything, Rose. It's that part that I'm not ready for her to know. I just don't want to see her running for the hills once she sees the real me. I couldn't take it."

"That's what we all fear, my dear brother. It's called being in a relationship. What if she leaves? What if she breaks your heart? Of course it's scary! But what if she doesn't go? What if she accepts the facts much better than you think? You can't make decisions about this already, you can't make decisions _for_her. Besides, she might have some secrets of her own."

I think back at a few days ago. Yes, there are some things she's not willing to share just yet.

"I don't know, Rose. I just don't fucking know." It's so frustrating. It's easier not to feel anything.

"Well, I do. You should've seen your face while you were talking about her, Edward. Trust me, this is worth pursuing."

My sister, a woman that should have men knocking at her door day and night asking her on dates; yet, with all of that, she can't get rid of her own ghosts. My solitude is much more voluntary than anything, _I'm _the one that decided that I didn't want anything with a woman anymore. Rose? It wasn't her decision to be alone, to not be able to fully move on, and even though she's trying to fight it, it just doesn't let go of her.

I consider Rose's words. She's seeing this from the outside, so maybe there is some truth in that. It's just so difficult to let go of all the pain and self-loathing I've been carrying, it almost feels natural to feel this way. Something deeply rooted in my life these last couple of years.

A friendship with Bella. Could I do it?

I don't have time to think about this anymore, since we're interrupted by the buzzer. They're here.

All my nerves return full force now.

"Poppa, Meme!" Calls Marie from the second floor.

"How is my little tornado?" Dad asks when Marie hurries down the stairs.

Mom stops when she sees me standing near the kitchen door. She looks hesitant about what to do. I feel the same way. Should I hug her? Kiss her cheeks? Wave?

She takes the initiative and comes to me, pulling me into her embrace. Just like the hug from Bernadette, this feels like home, warm and caring. But there is so much more there as well. Love, protection, even longing. All things I'm feeling as well.

Unlike with Bernadette though, this hug doesn't catch me off guard for long. A second later, I pull Mom to me, hugging her back.

"Mom-" My voice breaks. What can I say? Nothing feels good enough.

"I know, Edward, I know."

We stay like that until I feel new arms holding me close. Dad.

God, it feels incredible to be surrounded by their love, by them. Mom's lavender perfume mixed with a hint of cinnamon; Dad's pinewood and mint aftershave. So many memories from my childhood.

Home. How did I ever turn my back on them?

I pull a way and see that both of them are crying and only when Mom wipes the moisture from my eyes, do I notice that I've been crying as well.

"You look so skinny." Mom says, taking inventory of my face and body, searching for more changes.

"Mom," I whine. Strangely enough, it feels nice.

"Shush. I'm a Mom, I worry." Dad chuckles and looks so happy, alternating between looking at Mom and me.

"Why are you crying?" We all look down and there it is Marie, eyes filled with tears.

"Because we're happy, little one." Dad tells her and picks her up.

"But you smile when you're happy, not cry."

"Well, sometimes we do. Now let's get some cookies Meme brought." Faking biting noises to her belly and making her laugh, he carries her to the kitchen, Rose follows them, her eyes filled with tears as well.

"There's something new in your eyes." I look down to Mom again and laugh. Laugh because the way she reads me is both scary and completely welcome after all this time.

"Come on, Mom." I lead her to the family room, never breaking the contact with her.

Dad joins us again and we settle in there, Rose and Marie nowhere in sight. She probably took Marie to the yard to give us some space to talk.

"God, Mom. There's so much to say. I'm sorry, sorry for leaving you both out of my life, pushing you away when all you wanted was to help me."

"No, Edward. We should've insisted more. We just wanted to give you time to grieve at your own pace. We should've pushed harder." She shakes her head in frustration. Just like me, she can't believe this situation went this far.

"That would've been useless, Mom. I wanted to leave you out. It would've happened whether you pushed or not."

They were so understanding to me. After Renata died all I wanted to do was hide because of the shame, the guilt for what I still think is my fault.

My actions drove her to kill herself. I'll never forgive myself for that.

Everyone around me told me it wasn't my fault, that Renata was disturbed, but I couldn't believe it. I still can't. The way I treated her, both privately and publicly was ... disgusting. I didn't hurt her physically, but that's even worse. I still can't believe the person I was during those months, all I wanted was to hurt her for what she did.

And that's what I did. I made sure she never worked in the fashion world again and since that was her world, her life, I ended up taking everything away from her. The only way out she found was death.

"You still blame yourself?"

"How could I not? I should've just walked away from her and let her be."

"Son, she was not herself by then. Anything would've driven her over the edge. It wasn't your fault, she needed help. Help she never wanted."

I've dissected this in so many ways, revised every angle. It all comes down to my actions. My fault.

"You still feel like you don't deserve to be happy?" I feel Mom's hands stopping mine from shaking. I hadn't realized they'd been doing that until now.

"How could I? What I did was awful, how could I let anyone fall for me, Mom? Someone that led his ex wife to kill herself, for crying out loud!" God, Bella. The only face I see in my mind.

"Because you are not a monster, son. You were hurt and mad and reacted in the only way you could, lashing out at her, but it was not you who drove her actions. You have to let her go and forgive yourself."

I want that, so much. But I truly don't know how, nor do I think I deserve it. I feel like a monster, a monster who had no pity for the woman he was married to, a monster that was capable to destroy her life.

I don't say anything else. We'd been in this situation before; they, telling me to let go and me, refusing to even consider it. I guess some things don't change.

Mom understands and doesn't push anymore, maybe scared that doing so would drive me away once again.

I couldn't face my parents after Renata's funeral. I had to play the grieving ex-husband to the world. Little did they know that it wasn't grief that drove me to be at her funeral, just guilt. But my family knew the truth, the whole truth, and I just couldn't face them. I tried at first, but then it became too much, I could see it in their faces, even when they never said anything. So, I removed myself from their lives thinking that they'd be better off without me. I see now that was not the case.

After a few minutes of silence, Mom changes the subject and we fall into a more easy conversation. I talk about my work, pretty much since it's the only thing I've been doing these past years. Mom talks about her own work and traveling with Dad. I've heard bits and pieces through Rose, but nothing more.

A wave of nausea hits me when I hear her telling me that she'd been following me through the press these past two years. I feel really shitty about that. I know what the press says, twisting the truth to their advantage. What must she think of me.

I also hate that she has to use that resource to hear about her own son. It shouldn't be that way. Rose probably told her things over the years, but I know she wouldn't reveal too much without me knowing.

"Don't worry, son. We never believed that you slept with three women after that party."

"Thanks?" I groan. Fucking magazines.

"Ok, now tell me the truth. Who is she?" She asks while settling herself more comfortably on the couch next to me. Dad only smirks.

"What? What do-"

"Edward, my son, I carried you for nine months. I know you. You didn't date that much growing up for me not to notice when there's a woman in your over-analyzing mind."

I'm shocked at how easily she can read me and how blunt she is; Rose definitely got it from her. Mom saw right through me back in the hallway. God knows what she's seen all through our conversation.

It does make me wonder if anyone else has been able to see it. Tanya did last Monday, Rose did as well; they saw a difference. Am I changing that much? This fast?

"Um ... I sort of made a new friend last week." Jesus Christ, I sound like a five year old who met a new playmate.

From my Mom's grinning face and Dad's slack jaw, I can see that they think so too.

"I mean, I met a girl last week, but we're just friends. She's so different from anyone I've ever met. I feel myself relaxing in her presence."

"Oh, my boy." I can't say anything else. Mom is in front of me in a second, cradling my face, unshed tears in her eyes. What the hell did I say?

"I see." She whispers over and over while kissing the top of my head.

"Mom? What do you mean? What's wrong?" I'm starting to panic here.

"I see glimpses of my son in there again."

Her words catch me off guard. Could it be? Could I be letting my guard down because of Bella? The thought once again scares me and what would that mean to her. If she's making me show my true self once again, could she find out what kind of a man I really am? Would she run? Of course she would.

I start to panic and Mom catches on immediately.

"Shh, my boy. Don't be scared, everything will be ok." Her words and voice calm me, and memories of the times she comforted me when I got injured growing up play in front of my closed eyes. Her, humming a tune while she cleaned my wounds; me, stopping my crying just to hear her voice.

It worked every time.

After a while like this, I'm calmed enough to open my eyes. I can't believe she's the one still giving me words of comfort, when I was the one that pretty much disregarded them in the past.

She looks so damn happy gazing down at me. Like she's seeing this completely new person in front of her. Perhaps she is.

"Come, enough of sadness. Let's go find the girls." She kisses my forehead and lifts from the couch, heading for the kitchen and the backyard.

Dad stays behind and when I pass him, he stops me.

"Son, I'm glad you called us after all this time. Your mother's been nervous all week about this and I have to admit I was a little hesitant at coming here today." I can't really blame him for it.

"But now? I can't say I regret it. I've missed seeing her like that; I've missed my wife." He looks out the window to see Mom playing with Marie. "And my son as well."

Dad, always so calm and usually the voice of reason, to see him like this is surprising, but not unpleasant. I hug him and tell him I've missed him as well.

We hang out the rest of the day. At times, some moments feel strained and a little awkward, but we manage to keep up the conversation. Not everything is ok yet, but I feel like we can reconnect again.

As I see them drive away, I vow to try my best not to repeat my past mistakes. And not for the first time, I wonder in how many ways will Bella continue to have an influence on my life.

* * *

><p><strong>And there ya go. There's a lot more than grief towards Renata in Edward's heart :-( Now you know a lot more about what is plaguing his mind. There are still aspects to that story that will be revealed in due time.<strong>

**Once again, no pics this week (shocking, I know). I have very specific images in mind and it's hard to find just the right pics for you. So, I'll give you the ones I do use. None this week but there will be a few with the next chapter though. So, there.**

**In my original outline, chapter 5 was supposed to show Edward's weekend: Saturday with his parents and Sunday with Bella, but that second part got kinda wordy and I had to split the chapter. And I just told you this to be a tease ;-)**

**Ok, so next chapter … Sunday lunch with Bella. You'll see why the hell did I get so wordy with that one.  
><strong>

**Once again, thanks for stopping by and I'll see ya in two more weeks. :-)  
><strong>


	6. Rooftops

**Hello again, pretty ladies :-)**

**Glad you liked Edward's interactions with his family. You'll hear more of them in the future and his special relationship with Rose and Marie. He's not the same man he was two years ago, he just needs to see that as well.**

**Many thanks to my beta Songster for her help in betaing this and the bazillion changes I sent her way.**

**As usual, not owning Twilight is something that doesn't change as the weeks go by. Boo.**

**Ok, now a Sunday lunch with Bella. Wonder what will come out of that ...**

O~o~O~LB~O~o~O

'**Rooftops'**

When I got home last night, I felt completely drained from the reunion with my parents, but a little lighter as well. I'm not sure when I'll see them again; soon I hope, we're just letting things play out without forcing anything. But the future is looking promising.

Then, I remember that I'll spend this Sunday with Bella. And once again, that surprising smile appears in my face.

Since we didn't set up an specific time for our lunch, I text Bella to ask her about it. She suggests around noon, but I want to spend more time with her and maybe even help her with the cooking, or help her by _passing _the ingredients.

Since I don't know what we'll have for lunch, it's a bit difficult to decide which wine to take her. I have a nice collection, gathered through my travels and gifts received over the years. It only makes choosing something much more difficult.

I consider red wine, it reminds me of her: the red from her blush or her alluring lips. And that pretty much settles it, no red wine since I won't be able to stop staring at her, trying to find new shades of red in her skin. White it is.

It's safer. For all of us.

Now, which one? Sauvignon Blanc? Chardonnay? I turn to my right in my wine cellar and find the perfect choice: a Viognier. A difficult grape to grow that is all about timing; picked too early and it fails to develop its full potential in flavor, too late and you miss its scents completely.

Timing, all in the timing. Much like things in my life lately.

Once I'm ready, I'm on my way to her place. Nervous and excited.

I round the corner to her place when I see Bella leaving the building. Where is she going? I suddenly feel very stupid just showing up here unannounced.

Before I have the chance to do anything, she turns and sees me here. A big smile appearing in her beautiful face.

"Edward? Hi, aren't you a little early?" She looks amused and not really surprised. I guess, unexpected visits are not that surprising from either one of us anymore.

"Hi, Bella. Well, I didn't know what time to get here and I thought maybe I could help?" Saying it out loud now makes me feel foolish. What the hell is wrong with me when I'm around her?

"Actually, I'm glad you got here early. I'm gonna need your manly strength to carry some bags. We're going to the market. I like my vegetables fresh." She looks so proud at her admission, I can't help but to smile back.

"Alright, I'll be happy to help and let you use my manly strength. Although don't make me choose the produce, God knows what I'd end up buying.."

"Ok, no food poisoning for us then."

We leave the bottle of wine at the bakery to pick up later and head north of the city, to a small market that I've seen in passing from time to time, Bella carrying a flowery market bag.

We walk in silence for a couple of blocks, just enjoying the sun and the fresh air. From the corner of my eye I look at Bella every few seconds and notice that she's doing the same to me. She looks like she wants to tell me something, opening and closing her mouth from time to time.

"Is there something wrong, Bella?"

"Oh." She blushes at being caught, but doesn't hide her face from me.

"I wanted to ask you how the day with your parents went? That is, if you want to tell me."

I wasn't expecting that question, but I find that I don't really mind answering it. I really want her to know and the feeling of almost _needing_to open up to her this easily scares me shitless.

"Pretty well, actually. It was a lot to take in, but it was necessary. I should've done this a long time ago."

"I'm glad, I can tell it was good for you. You look ... lighter?" She laughs at her guess." I don't know how to say it, but your walk even has some sort of rhythm, almost like dancing."

"Really? That's what I think as well. The lighter part, not the dancing. I just hadn't noticed that; it was so obvious."

The rest of the walk to the market is passed in contented silence. Her words make me consider what my Mom and Rose said yesterday. They saw a change in me and even if it's slight, it seems to be worth noticing.

Why can't I see it?

A few minutes later, I don't even have to see the market to know we're close; the sounds of the crowd and the scents of fresh produce in the air tell me so.

The market is packed and stands fill each side of the long street. Some with vegetables and fruits, others with bread and cheese, wine and flowers. So much life everywhere.

I hadn't been to a market in years. Mom used to take us to the _Saxe-Breteuil_ market. There, she would find the ingredients necessary for her recipes. She would grasp Rose's hand and carry a bag in the other while I would hold tightly at Rose's other hand. We looked like little chickens behind mother hen, Mom glancing behind her every few steps.

Before leaving, we used wander to the flea market section and there, it was like heaven. All those rare and unique objects and the stories behind them, all displayed in front of us in rows and rows of different colors and shapes. Little treasures we took home with us were often found among them.

"Ok, let's tackle this." Bella teases and rubs her hands together. I _think _she's teasing, markets can be deadly. All those people trying to find the perfect tomato.

"I'm kidding, Edward! There is nothing to be scared of. You've never been to a farmer's market before?" I must've shown something in my face. She looks amused.

"Oh, no. I have, just not for years." Like so many other things.

"With your family." She says it more like a statement than a question.

"Yes, how do you know?"

"Most of the fond memories you've recounted come from times with them. Even the simplest of situations, like coming to buy vegetables. You make this face." She tries to imitate said face, doing some sort of half smile and cocking an eyebrow.

"I do not look like that, Bella." I try to sound offended, but it's really hard not to smile and break into laughter. She's still making the 'Edward face'.

"How do you know? I'm the one looking at it."

We stared at each other, trying to break the other first. Of course I lose, since lately I can't even control my facial muscles.

Laughing feels so freeing and with our surroundings, it's even more powerful: people _living _all around us, doing normal everyday things; sun brightening every corner, giving life to everything; scents of food filling the streets.

Laughter feels like living, as if I'm truly alive if I'm able to feel this bubbling sensation work its way up my belly and try to come out. But it's Bella's own laughter, above everything else, that makes me feel more alive.

Laughing with Bella, who knew?

After we are able to calm ourselves I ask Bella what ingredients will be needing.

"Well, we'll be eating Rosemary Chicken and avocado and tomato salad. Is that ok? You're not allergic or something, right? I should've thought of that." She looks kind of cute furrowing her brow, and if it were not for the fact that she's really worried about me dying of food allergies, I'd say nothing.

"Bella." I stop her. "I don't have food allergies and I like chicken. Also, I'm your guest, so whatever you're making is more than welcomed. Besides, I'm a guy, we eat pretty much anything."

She visibly relaxes at my words.

"Ok, good. Then we'll need lemons, garlic, rosemary, tomatoes, avocados and red onions." She pulls a list from her pocket and reads the ingredients.

"Ok. The wine I brought should work with that as well. Where do we go then? Do you have a favorite vendor or just browse through the stands?"

"Both, actually. Come on, it's fun to just look around for a bit."

We move into the market now. It's so crowded that for a second a feel a little suffocated. I like my own space and this makes me tense a bit.

Bella senses this and, in a move that both surprises and thrills me, slides her hand from my wrist to my palm, joining them. It feels so natural for them to be like that; palm against palm, fingers finding their fit between each other's knuckles. It resembles a little mess of limbs and, for a second, I can't help but to wonder how our bodies would look tangled like that.

Jesus, what is being around her doing to me?

"Hey, you're ok. Let's just have fun, you can protect me from anyone trying to steal our lemons."

"Oh, don't fear, nobody will touch our lemons." One sentence from her and she makes me forget what I've been thinking.

"I'm counting on that." And she winks. Winks. Is she flirting? Should I wink back? Ok, not only do I have to dust off my social skills, but also my flirting ones.

We walk from stand to stand never breaking our hand-holding, searching for what we need, but also buying other things that tempt us on the spot. Just the look on Bella's face when she closed her eyes and smelled red apples made me buy a pound of them.

I have no self control.

Bella speaks to the vendors, smiling and making jokes with them. It's so easy for her to be kind to just about anyone. From the look they give her, they find her just as enchanting as I do.

We're getting close to the stand where we'll buy the lemons, when Bella turns to me to ask if I could go to the one in front to buy the rosemary. Because I can't deny her, I agree, only I have no idea what rosemary looks like. I recognize its scent, but I'm not going to sniff all the herbs until I find the right one.

I get there and thank God, there are names written in small tags. They're all fresh herbs and the scents of oregano, chives, rosemary, cilantro all blend in the space around the stand.

_Romarin_.

"Pretty girl you have with you." The vendor tells me in French while getting the rosemary I asked her for.

"She is, my friend is really beautiful." I look back at Bella and she's wrapped up in the story the stand vendor is telling her. And just like she does to me, she's captivating him.

"A friend? Well, don't let her go, she's a keeper. So lovely."

Without even thinking I respond. "I know, I'm not planning to."

Every time I let my guard down, my body and heart seem to be making the decision to not let go of Bella, even when I feel like I should. However, it's those few minutes in which I let my guard down, that tell me the decision may have already been made. Now I have to wait until my mind catches up and just let go.

"_Merci_."

I go back to Bella just as she's approaching me.

"Found the rosemary ok there? You looked kind of scared for a moment when I asked you to buy it."

"Hey. I know my way around herbs." I move forward and gently take the bag from her shoulder. She lets me, even though I know she wants to protest. I just want to do something nice.

"Alright, I won't argue about your herb knowledge."

"Thank you, _Mademoiselle_ Swan. Now, what's next on the list?"

"Nothing else, we got everything we needed." She checks her list.

"But we need to make another stop before going back. I always visit a friend when I come here and if she knows I didn't drop by, she'll have my head next time."

We keep walking and we get to the stands that no longer sell food. I'm instantly curious to see what I could find.

"Bella! Such a long time since you've come." An older woman greets Bella and waves us to her stand.

"Sylvie. Yes, I'm sorry. Forgive me?"

"Of course, child. But only if you introduce me to this handsome man with you."

"Oh, yes. Sylvie, this is Edward, a friend." She doesn't hesitate anymore at the title. We are friends. "Edward, this is Sylvie, my pretty things supplier."

"Lovely to meet you, _Mademoiselle_ Sylvie."

I notice the stand for the first time, a mix of things. Small glass jewellery boxes, mirrors with silver details around the edges, brooches in different shapes and sizes, porcelain needle cases, thimbles with crafted flowers on their sides and so many more things.

I notice some of the details on them, details that I could use as inspirations in my work: a hand mirror made out of silver with small turquoise stones lined in the back, forming shapes like waves; an ivory comb with an ivy-like detail and a few missed teeth. I can already picture a new collection with those alone. A see through ivy pattern in the back of a dress, with a-

"Edward? Are you ok? Is there something you like?" Bella breaks my moment, I must've looked like a fool staring at the display.

"Um ... actually, I like a few things." I look at Sylvie. "This is a beautiful assortment you have here. Are you sure you want to sell them?"

"Thank you, you're very kind. And yes, I have very good memories with some of them. Why not give the opportunity for others to have happy memories as well?"

"Like adding more history to them." I smile remembering my own findings as a boy.

"Exactly! Bella, you find yourself a man who gets it."

"Sylvie," Bella hisses. "We're just friends."

I know that's what we are, what we should be, but it catches me off guard. Maybe she doesn't want more.

"Mhm." Sylvie looks at the both of us, studying us more like it. She smiles and leaves us to tend a new customer.

"Sorry about that, she's always trying to match me with someone. I hope she didn't make you uncomfortable."

"Don't worry, it's nice to have someone worrying about you."

"It is." She looks sad all of the sudden. Of course she does, her mother died and her father lives in another country. Even with friends, it's not the same.

Just like before when she offered me comfort, I hope I'm doing the same when I get closer to her and gently give her a hug, or at least try to with the bag on my shoulder. It does give her the space to back off if she's uncomfortable.

She tenses for a second before letting her body rest against mine and circles her arms around me. It feels so nice to be here, that even though we're surrounded by people, I only register a faint hum. Like the night we danced at the club, just her proximity makes everything else disappear.

"Thanks." I hear her saying close to my chest.

"Anytime." I kiss her head and she backs away slowly, turning once again to Sylvie's display.

We stay close to each other, sometimes our arms grazing, others I can feel the heat of her body close to me. The sun is even hotter now that is past noon, but I'd stay here with her anyway.

I see colorful hairpins and I think Marie would like those; she's such a little lady. I buy several in different designs.

"Oh, Edward, look."

To my right, I see that she's holding a polished silver penannular brooch with a Celtic knot design on a carved background and an amethyst stone at one end. Beautiful and unique, just like Bella.

"You should get it; we can't let someone else buy it."

"Aren't we greedy, Mr. Cullen?" She laughs, but still takes out the money to buy it.

"For what I want, why not?"

"Because too much of a good thing can be tiresome."

"Never." I could never get tired of this, her.

Sylvie bags our items and send us away, not before making us promise to come back and tell her what happened to what we bought. She likes to know the new stories.

We walk back to Bella's apartment, talking about the morning. She tells me some of the stories the vendors told her throughout the morning. Apparently, she's known them since she first moved in and they regaled her with family stories: how their kids are doing, their grandchildren's mischiefs, their last vacations. I swear she can bring a smile from just about anyone.

Turning to the corner of her building, a high pitched voice calls her name.

"Aunty _Belle_!" A pretty little black haired girl comes running from the bakery, chocolate spread on her mouth and chin.

"_Mon petit chou_." Bella's face brightens and she crouches with open arms to receive this girl's embrace.

"How are you, my lovely? And where is Mommy?" She asks, giving her small kisses to her cheeks, not caring about all the chocolate.

"Aimée!" Alice appears from the bakery, a scared look on her face. When she sees us, she relaxes somewhat and comes toward us.

"Mommy said I could have an _éclair au chocolat _if I take away my toys. I win!" A big smile is on her face, all proud of her accomplishment and oblivious to her mother's concern.

"That's very good, mon petit chou, but you should never run away from Mommy like that. Ever." Bella lightly chastises, giving her a quick kiss on her nose.

"God, Aimée, I told you to wait. Never do that again."

"But aunty _Belle _was here, Mommy; I saw her." Aimée says as if it explains everything.

"Oh my God, Edward, I'm so rude. This little escape artist right here is Aimée, Alice and Jasper's girl."

"_Enchanté_, _Monsieur_." Aimée makes a little curtsy.

She certainly is something.

"_Enchanté_, _Mademoiselle _Aimée." I bow and take her hand, kissing it. She seems to like it from the giggle that escapes her.

"She's watched way too many princess movies." Alice rolls her eyes, but clearly is delighted by her daughter's charm.

"I'm no stranger to princess behavior; my own niece is very much like Aimée."

I see Bella turn her head in my direction. I realize just now that even though I've told her about my childhood years, I've failed to tell her about more recent ones and about my niece, even though she probably knows of her existence from the press.

I smile back, hoping that she understands that I'll tell her more when the time comes.

"So, where are you coming from, kids?" The question makes Bella turn to Alice and Aimée once again.

"We went to the market; I needed some things for lunch. Edward here, is the food carrier."

"Damn right, I am." I tease, standing straighter as if that proves my point.

"Mhmm, I see. Yeah, pretty bag you got there, food carrier." Alice motions to my shoulder.

"Well, I left mine at home. It has skulls and chains."

"Of course it does."

Bella alternates looking between Alice and me, amusement showing on her face, while she tries to calm a jumping Aimée.

"Ok, kids, hate to cut this short, but we really have to go. We're meeting Jasper downtown. Let's get together another time, ok? The other night was fun."

We don't have to time to respond, since at hearing her Dad's name, Aimée starts running again.

"Yay, Daddy!"

"Shit, bye guys. Aimée! Come back here right this instant." And she runs after her.

"Alice used to have such energy growing up. Her mother told me she was impossible to tame. That right there?" She points at the two of them, Alice finally catching up with Aimée. "That's karma."

We see them until they are out of our sight, but when I turn to suggest Bella that we go to her place, her eyes are still fixed on that corner. There's a smile on her face, but it looks so sad, her eyes almost wistful and I can see she's remembering something far away from here. When I see a single tear falling down her cheek, I don't even think as my hand wipes it away. That breaks her moment.

"Come on, we still have to make lunch or soon enough, this will turn into dinner."

I want to ask her about this, but she clearly doesn't want to and I don't want to make her more sad, it's been a fun day so far.

"Ok, let's get the wine and open it while we cook."

O~o~O~LB~O~o~O

"Edward, not too much wine."

"Sorry, but you know, saying I should pour 'a little wine' on the chicken is not exactly very specific."

"But everyone knows that a little is a ... " She waves her hands in the air, a knife in one and a tomato in the other. "A little!"

"Not to someone whose kitchen is almost uncharted territory."

We've been teasing and arguing for the past hour. I never knew cooking could be this fun, I should've tried it before. But then again, maybe is the company and the fact that I'm not really cooking.

"I'm gonna have to teach you a lot about cooking, Edward."

I'd ruin more meals if that meant she has to teach me.

"I wouldn't mind that."

We continue like this; me trying to chop the vegetables, Bella telling me just how to hold the knife; me not knowing pretty much anything about measures, Bella fixing my mistakes. It's fun and even relaxing, at least during the times when I'm not screwing things up. I could really see myself learning more of this and trying new things at home.

The thought of my place filled with the scents of something I prepared, the warmth of the kitchen, is very appealing. Bella there with me? That is pretty much irresistible.

We set the table and the sight of it is suddenly all I want to have for years to come; a vase with colorful flowers at the center of the table, mismatched plates and glasses, a flowery table cloth lightly flowing with the breeze coming from the open balcony doors. It's simple and real and perfect in its apparent imperfection.

And how I want it to be mine.

Bella serves the food while I pour us the wine and revel in the fact that we made this tempting lunch. Although it was mostly Bella.

"This is incredible, Bella. I can't believe a few hours ago these were just ingredients in a market and now it tastes like this."

"Well, it isn't much different from what you do as well. Separate, they are lines and fabrics, but put in just the right way, your designs are almost works of art."

"Works of art? I wouldn't go that far, but thank you. And I see your point, cooking, designing, it's all creating something new that mixed in a different way, creates something completely new. Maybe I could be a chef."

"Let's not get ahead of ourselves here, shall we?"

Not a chef, then.

"Talking about designs…" I'm not sure if I should ask this. "I've seen a bit of your work. How are you not a full time designer?" I hope I'm not crossing a line here, but I really want to know this story.

"Oh, well, I actually used to design, you know, back in the States. I started in Seattle and then went to New York to study. I moved here four years ago."

"What do you mean you _were_a designer? Your drawings show that you still are; it's not something you just forget." It is at that moment that I curse my curiosity. I should've settled with what little she told me.

She's looking at me almost with curiosity, maybe trying to discern who is this guy asking questions that are not his business. Her expression then changes to one of hesitance and even fear. She's trying to decide if she should tell me her story or at least part of it.

My words were what sent her into this, I can't stand it. If she's not ready, I shouldn't push.

"Bella, I'm-"

"Help me with the dishes?" She stands and takes her plate and glass to the kitchen, leaving no room to argue.

I follow and we fall into an easy routine, washing and drying the dishes, putting away the left overs. Once everything is ready she invites me to the roof. Since I have no idea how to fix this, how to fix her almost robotic actions, I do as she says and take her invitation.

There is a hidden set of stairs next to her studio on the third floor, I had missed it the time I was here. When we get to the roof, we are hit by a wave of heat, it's past two in the afternoon and the sun is strong as ever. Bella leads me to the left, where under the shade of a wall, there is a low bench for us to sit.

The view of the city is much better from here, without interruption we can see the city surrounding the building, an ocean of tin roofs and chimneys, tall or short, greys or colored, flat or with shapes.

"I come here when I want to read or draw. So clean, isn't? Everything looks simple from here, roofs as far as the eye can see."

We stay in silence just taking in the view. I turn and to the south I can see _La Tour Eiffel_, a beacon among the waves of rooftops.

"My Mom never got to see when I was accepted in design school in New York. We used to talk about it all the time, even while she was sick, we'd dream of how it would be. Me designing there and she going to see my shows. Such big dreams for me."

I don't move, I don't breath, I just listen.

"So when I got the scholarship, there was no doubt in my mind that I would accept it. If not for me, at least for her. It was absolutely incredible, Edward. Being there with all those really talented people, the teachers, the students. God, it was everything and more than we talked about. I was living my dream."

I can relate to that. Being surrounded by talented people was the drive for me to be better, we used to feed off each other's creativity.

"That last year, before graduating, a lot happened in my life. Incredibly good and awfully bad. I guess it was a way for the world to tell me that good things have a price, and I feel I paid heavily." She looks so sad and defeated, not like the woman I've grown to know.

"There was this sort of contest at school, we were supposed to present an entire collection by the end of that last year, so considering grades and the end result, one person would be granted funding to start their own business. It was something we all wanted, so we worked our asses off to get that opportunity. That last year was very stressful, but I was able to make it work.

"It all paid off in the end though. The day I got the funding was one of the best of my life. All that hard work was not in vain and just thinking about how proud my Mom would've been was all I needed at the time. That night, my friends took me out to celebrate, I called my Dad and friends in Seattle." A little smile is on her lips. I wasn't even there and I'm proud of her either way.

"But like I said, the world has a habit of making you pay for your happiness." Her words hang in the hot air around us. She looks out into the distance, seeming to remember so much more than what she's saying.

I move closer to her and for the first time since we were at the market, take her hand in mine. I hope it gives her some kind of comfort.

I'm not sure what she really means, and the pictures I visualize make me nauseous. If someone hurt her, much more than just with harsh words, I might lose it. For a second I think she'll tell me what she means, but then, when I squeeze her hand, the look she gives me tells me that this will not be the moment.

She's not ready and obviously, I'm not either.

"When everything was said and done, I didn't want to have anything to do with designing, New York ... men. Too many memories."

I've been holding back at reaching to her, trying to give her the space she needs to tell her story, but now I can't stop it, I move even closer and bring her into my arms, She's shaking now and I would be there for her that way at least. I rock her while she calms, whispering soothing words.

"God, Bella. It's ok, you're ok." I repeat that over and over, not sure if to calm her or to reassure myself. I can't even bring myself to imagine the situation that ended up pushing her to come here to Paris.

We stay like that for a while. She cries and cries and every tear and sound she makes, breaks me. She's been through so much and still was able to move on and be this incredible woman by my side.

"Alice and my other friend, Emmett, helped me after that. I didn't have the energy for anything, not even getting out of my bed. Little by little they brought me to life, even when I resisted at first. My Dad was great as well, but he really didn't know what to do or what to say.

"I couldn't stay there anymore. That was when Alice suggested coming here; to leave everything behind and start again. It was just what I needed, but it took me a long time to even pick up a pencil without feeling sick to my stomach."

"Oh, Bella."

"I felt so weak for running away like that. I should've stayed, accepted the funding and just continued with my life there. But I couldn't."

I move her so that she's sitting on my lap and I hold her hard to me. I'm probably crushing her, but she doesn't complain and even grips the front of my shirt strongly, her knuckles turning white.

"Listen to me. You're brave, sweetheart, so brave. You went to another country to start over again. I don't know what drove you here, but whatever it was, or whoever that was," I assert, and I have a suspicion that it was someone, a _he_, and when her eyes widen, I'm sure that is the case. "You're here, still letting people into your life."

Rage flows through my veins at noticing her inadvertent admission. Just thinking about this _person_ and all of the ways he hurt her. Once again, the thought makes me sick but instead of losing it, I remind myself that she's here, she's alive.

She's one of the strongest people I know. I hold her and I hope that even a little bit of comfort seeps into her.

After she calms, she looks up to me and the look in her face makes me want to cry, so much pain. I want to take away that pain, I'd do anything for her.

Her eyes are puffy and red, her lips flushed, tears drying on her skin. But, even like this she looks beautiful, for there is so much more there, so much strength and life in her, that is impossible to turn my eyes away. She'd been through so much and yet here she is, slowly moving on.

It makes me realize that as heartbreaking as what Renata did to me was, it's nothing compared to what Bella went through. I'd been putting my life on hold, even making my family pay for this, when Bella has been braver and moved on.

I want to kiss her, I really do and in this moment, holding her so close to me, feeling like her strength is my own, I lean down and slowly bring my face close to hers. I want her to know that she can pull back at any second, but when she looks at my lips and her eyes start to close, I know she wants this as well.

"Bella?" Still, I need to make sure, I don't want her to think it's just because of her story.

"Kiss me, Edward."

End of discussion.

Our lips touch and it's sweet and soft and warm and a thousand times more than that. I move my hands to her shoulder blades and she brings hers to my neck and even like this, the closeness is not enough. I want to feel only her and in return, I want her to forget everything else and feel what caring for someone really is, that she can let go as well and let me take care of her for a change. It's only me and Bella here and now. No ex-wives, no pasts … nothing. Just the blissful warmth of our mouths and our bodies.

And this is only a kiss.

Conscious or not, it is at this moment that I make the choice to finally let go, to let Bella into my life. Maybe it will take me a while to be able to tell her my own story, but now I know that at least I want to.

We pull back and now I see the face I can't get enough of, no pain in her eyes. She looks flushed and so damn pretty.

"Alright, this rooftop is my favorite place from now on." I kiss her temple and hair.

"Great place for making out." And her giggle is the sound I want to take with me forever.

I close my eyes and remember the words from the rosemary vendor earlier today: '_Don't let her go, she's a keeper._' And for the first time in what seems like forever, I plan on doing just that; let Bella into my life and not let her go.

* * *

><p><strong>And here you have it, a lunch date that turned into a little bit more. Our Bella is strong but that didn't come so easy. You'll hear more about it and exactly why she left New York in future chapters.<strong>

**Flea markets … love them. I always end up buying something. Dammit.**

**Pics of the brooch Bella bought at the market up on my profile. I know I said I'd show you a few more pics, but I ended up not using them in the end. The rest of the things they saw at the market I made them up so no pics of that. Oops.**

**Ok, so six chapters and they've only known each other for eight days. Yeah, safe to day this story will have more than the ten chapters I mentioned early on, lol. At least that's what my outline shows at the moment.**

**Thanks for reading once again, sweet girls, and I'll see ya in two more weeks :-) **


	7. Sketches

**Hello, sweet ladies :-)**

**Once again, a new chapter. Something a little lighter than the last one. I hope, lol. Glad you liked that one, with hearing part of Bella's story, he gained a little more perspective.  
><strong>

**Thanks to my beta Songster for her help. Always :-)**

**I don't own Twilight. That hasn't changed.**

**Let's see what happens this week …**

O~o~O~LB~O~o~O

'**Sketches'**

It's been four days since Bella's words about her past. I've seen her almost every day since then and I still can't seem to get rid of the images my mind keeps picturing of her in pain and broken. And she didn't even share the whole story.

I always want to hold her close to me, touch her: her hands, her face, her lips. I just need to make sure she's really here with me, all warm and alive and whole.

I'm always amazed at her, her strength, the way she sees the world, how she approaches it. It saddens me to think that whatever happened to her made her turn away from her passion, her dream.

She's visiting my studio after lunch today. I want her to see where I work and meet the people I surround myself with. She thought it would be awkward to come here just like that and I had to pull the 'boss' card, telling her that I was the boss here and I could bring anyone I want. I felt really stupid about that, but if it gets her here, I can't seem to regret it that much.

I was able to rearrange some things during the week, so today should be pretty open for us to spend some hours together without too many interruptions and she can see how I work.

It feels like it is 'bring your girl to work' day.

_Is_ she my girl for that matter? I want her to be.

Hours later and after barely touching my food, which is already revealing how nervous I am in and of itself, Bella calls me to say that she's on her way. She was able to arrange with her boss to take the afternoon off.

"_Monsieur _Cullen? Your afternoon appointment is here." Irina lets me know.

"Show her in, please."

The door opens and all my nerves float away. It's incredible how at peace I feel just being with her in the same room. Today she wears a flowy skirt and blouse. They are loose on her body, like they are barely touching her skin: a bubble of silk around her.

"Bella."

"Edward."

I have no idea how we look to the rest of the world, but I'm pretty sure it's not very sane. We barely manage simple greetings.

When I feel her lips on mine, her sweet mouth slowly moving and tasting, the rest of the world and what they think doesn't matter. The hell with them.

"Now that's a nice way to greet me." I smile against her lips.

"Well, you invited me to visit your workplace, this is the least I could do to say thanks."

I can think of other ways to thank her for entering my life, but that _might _be too forward.

"I'm glad you're here."

"I'm glad to be here."

We could really go on like this the entire afternoon. Our phone conversations had been endless silences and talks about nothing. I can't wait to hear her voice to just know that she's there.

"Any problems getting here?"

"Not really, it's not like your studio is all hidden, you know." I chuckle when she rolls her eyes.

"Ok, ok. Ready for the tour then?" I take her hand and for a second I hesitate about whether it's the best choice; everyone I work with will know that she's with me and that we're more than friends.

It's not that I'm embarrassed by her, on the contrary, I feel like I want to tell everyone I run into that she's with me, but is that what she wants as well? Do I want to tell people around me she's with me when I'm not sure she is?

I find the answers when she's the one firmly holding my hand and leading me out the door, even though she doesn't know where to take me. With any other woman, this move would've made me feel pressured, feeling like they are pushing me to do something I'm not sure about myself; but with Bella, I embrace it and love that she's the one taking the lead, because God knows I have no idea what I'm doing.

Bella is able to read me better than I can read myself.

"Irina, I'll be back later. Hold all my calls." I say when we pass my assistant. She looks curious at the scene playing out in front of her, as Bella pulls me out into the hallway, but nods either way.

My studio is actually a seven story building in _Avenue_ _Foch_. It's only a couple of blocks away from my place, which allows me to take a walk each day. That was an intentional move; in the mornings I use the walk to wake up and clear my thoughts and in the afternoons, I wanted to be able to relax and leave the day behind me when I head home.

"Um, I have no idea where to go from here."

I know she's referring to the building but to me, her words have a deeper meaning. Ever since meeting her, I've been feeling like I don't know left from right: I have no idea where to go or what happens next. I've lived such a structured life for the past two years that being uncertain is a foreign concept. However, letting Bella lead has been nothing but thrilling so far. This time though, in my world, I realize that _I_ should be leading her as well.

"Don't worry, I'll lead the way this time." I give her a reassurance hand squeeze and kiss her cheek. It relaxes her and, in turn, it does me as well.

"Ok, we're on the seventh floor. Here I have my office/studio, my assistant Irina's office and a conference room where I meet with management once a week to have these endless business meetings. Pretty boring actually, but someone's got to do it." I motion to the rooms I'm talking about while Bella looks around.

"I bet. But it is a business after all and I hardly think you do everything, right?"

I want to agree with her and logically what she says, makes sense. However, I have trusted almost no one in the last couple of years, which makes me be on top of every aspect of my business. It's tiring and it does take me away from what I really want to do, which is design, but I can't let what happened years ago happen again.

"It's ... complicated." She looks at me with a little concern but doesn't ask more on the matter.

"Come on, I have a lot to show you."

We go down to the sixth floor using the wide white marble staircase. We have elevators, but I want to show her something. It is one of the things I loved about this building when I first saw it.

"Wow, the details on the banister are incredible." Bella softly runs her hand through the iron shapes.

"I know. When I was looking for a place to have my studio, all I knew was that I wanted it to be spacious with a lot of light, so the search was long and extremely boring. But when I saw this place, I fell in love with it on the spot."

I smile remembering how much work the building needed, but seeing so much potential in my surroundings, I had seen which colors I would use, which materials I wanted. It all played before my eyes. There were so many things that I loved about this place that first day.

The exterior needed work as well, but we were able to maintain the original moldings and rework the balconies, trying to keep the original stone structure as much as possible. When Rose saw it finished, she scoffed and said it looked very Parisian.

When Mom saw the building, she almost fainted ... with happiness. She was taking notes on the spot. This ended up being a shared project with her and we spent months choosing samples and bringing whatever we needed from all over the world.

"Carrera marble from Italy, wood from Thailand, Australia and other countries, stained glass work from here in France. Mom helped me with all of this; on one hand, the restoration of the building, trying to maintain the original detailing and some materials; and on the other hand, bringing more modern amenities to it.

"I remember spending a night with Mom just trying to figure out which kind of marble we wanted for the entrance. We didn't fight, but it really took us an entire night."

Dad showed up at my place the next day with _café_ and _eclairs_, rolling his eyes at his crazy family. Mom said we were passionate and kept taking notes.

"It's beautiful." I turn to look at Bella and she's looking right at me while I've been rambling.

"Come." I take her hand up to my lips and kiss it. Even with everything surrounding us being carefully chosen and made beautiful, Bella is still the one that takes my breath away.

"This is the sixth floor," I motion to the offices. "Here, there are all the management offices: Human Resources, Finances, Accounting, etc. This is where all the boring daily decisions are made." Even though it's mostly offices, it still has a more artistic feel to it. Colors and comfortable couches, large spaces and natural light.

"Edward! What's this? The bossman gracing us with his presence?" I hear Tanya from our right.

"Trying to see just what the hell it is that you management people really do."

"The usual, just expanding your business." Tanya rolls her eyes and smiles. She's one of the few people I feel comfortable letting loose around.

"And who is this?" She looks at Bella with curiosity and also assessment. I smile a little at this, ever since Renata, Tanya is always trying to look out for me when it comes to women. No matter who it is, she always gives me her honest opinion, which ninety percent of the time means that she's talking my ear off about dating them in the first place.

I turn and proudly introduce them to each other.

"Tanya, this is Bella. Bella, this is Tanya, an old friend and in charge of Marketing." For the first time in years, Tanya actually smiles at one of my dates, a _real_smile.

"Nice to meet you, Bella. So you're the reason why our boy smiles so much." She's not asking, just stating a fact.

"I guess?" Bella laughs and looks at me. My face probably resembling the color of our first _macaron_.

"Tanya, for God's sake." I hiss, but I don't know why. She already spoke.

"Whatever, it's the truth." She faces Bella and takes her arm, dragging her to her office.

"So Bella, tell me. What exactly are you doing to him?" And then I don't see them when they turn the corner.

I'm left standing there, wondering what the hell just happened.

O~o~O~LB~O~o~O

We spend the next hour talking and laughing with Tanya. Even when the subject that Tanya and I dated was brought up at some point, it feels very similar to that night with Alice and Jasper, natural and simple. Tanya tests Bella often, trying to figure out what's her deal. I want to defend her, but I know I don't have to, Bella does the work on her own. She never backs down and gives as good as she gets to Tanya.

They are talking about the changes in the industry and I'm just sitting here, looking at them in awe at how well they are getting along. They almost look like long time friends.

I can't believe Tanya warmed up to her this fast; she's never done that to anyone I've presented to her before. Fears about people seeing Bella and me together here at my workplace disappear watching them interact. How did I ever consider that this could be awkward? Just like at the market and pretty much everywhere we go, Bella charms people with her natural beauty and warm personality.

As for Bella, she looks happy here, as if she fits in not only with the people closest to me, but also here at work.

The first thought warms my heart as images of her meeting my family fill my brain, and even though there is fear in that idea, excitement overpowers it. I know she'd charm them in a second.

The second one makes me curious about seeing her in action, working and creating. How does she look when she drafts? Does she do all the cutting and sewing on her own? So many questions as to how she does her own work compared to me.

"So after getting tired of this girl throwing herself at him and shoving her boobs into his face, Edward turns and tells her, very politely and calmly, that the cleavage in her dress is way to low for that type of design and that whoever did it was a buffoon who has no business in the designing world." Tanya and Bella laugh at this story.

"God, that woman was insufferable; all night spent trying to get me to go to her hotel room and doing a very not-so-subtle job at grabbing my crotch. She had it coming." I shiver from the memory, she pretty much killed my gentlemanly side that night.

"Oh my God, Edward." Bella says between breaths, she's laughing so hard. She looks even more beautiful like this, and her laugh is a melody I'll never get tired of.

"It's true. She just took her hand from my thigh, fixed her boobs and turned around. I even saw her leaving with another guy."

I roll my eyes and they laugh even harder.

After our laughter dies, Bella's phones chirps. When she sees who it is, she asks to be excused and goes outside to take the call.

Silence falls into the office now that Tanya and I are alone. I'm not sure if that's good or bad, but it's making me nervous.

"Ok, tell me what's on your mind and let's get this over with." When I turn in her direction, I find her sitting with her arms crossed and a smile on her face.

"What do you want me to say, Edward? I can't stand the women you go out with, but we've been talking for the past hour; I think that pretty much says it all."

"So, you like her?"

"For crying out loud. What? Are we twelve now? In case I haven't been clear enough, and apparently I haven't, I don't like her, Edward; I love her. I think she's great. She's funny and smart and doesn't take crap from me, which is saying a lot. I see the way you both look at each other, it's quite disgusting really, but what the hell do I know? I've never seen you this happy before, not even with your wife."

I know she's right about that, I don't remember ever feeling like this before, so I know I was never like this with Renata. Tanya has seen me at my worst; she's pretty much my best friend and if she's saying all this after seeing only a fraction of what I see in Bella, then I might be on the right track for the first time in years.

"I'm glad you're happy, Edward. You're both good to each other, I can tell there is a story behind her," she smiles and her blue eyes shine so brightly at the fact that I'm happy; for the first time I see how much of a toll being my friend might've taken on her. I always see her so strong, as if nothing affects her, but as usual, I've been blind to everything but myself.

"Tanya, I-"

"I'm also going to have a great time telling Rose about meeting Bella before her. She won't forgive you, you know." And just like that she changes the subject. She's never been too big with emotional stuff.

"You're right." I groan, because Rose won't be happy about that.

"I'm sorry about that. It was my boss, he misplaced some orders and needed my help finding them." Bella returns and I get up from the chair in front of Tanya.

"That's ok. Do you want to continue the tour? Maybe stay here?" It's been fun with Tanya, but I want to show her the rest of the building.

"You go ahead kids, I need to finish some press releases and make some calls. After all, you _are_paying me to do something around here." Tanya interrupts when she notices that Bella doesn't know what to say.

"Ok, I'll see you later then."

"Nice meeting you, Tanya."

"You too, Bella. I'll call you so we can have lunch, ok? Without Edward of course. I have tons of stories."

I take Bella's hand and lead her out of here before Tanya says some more.

"Bye." Bella waves over her shoulder and all we hear is Tanya's laughter.

"I like her," Bella says when we're going down the stairs to the fifth floor.

"And she loves you. I might be jealous," I joke, because in reality I'm thrilled they got along.

Bella stops and turns me to face her. And there, in the staircase of my workplace, with her standing on a step above mine, she kisses me. And I realize that I've been without those lips for too long, I don't even care if someone see us here.

All the warm feelings I've been having for the past hour intensify with her like this. Soft lips and warm hands on my neck, tempting sounds and little vibrations against my chest. How is it that it's never enough with Bella?

"There, don't be jealous." She breaks the kiss and we stand there catching our breaths.

"I think I'll be jealous more often if you kiss it away like this." She giggles against my neck and after we're calm enough, we head down.

"Ok, this is the fifth floor. It has two large studios." I signal to my right and left. "It is here that we display all the finished collections or advance projects and see how they'd look on the models. They come in, try the pieces on and we take notes on the necessary changes and what works and what doesn't. We also see how a fashion show would flow according to colors, themes or whatever the concept was for that season.

"This floor is very open and has a lot of light, so we're able to see if the clothes work and how the colors change in the light.

"We take notes and photographs which we then save for future reference. We spend a lot of time here when the collection is almost finished. These are also the only rooms that fit both the clothes and all the people at one time."

Bella looks around; watching people walk by carrying garments or parts of mannequins, models standing in position with people making adjustments to hems and more.

Some people look our way and continue to work and others just plain stare. Usually my coming here means that there's either something wrong or that we'll be working all night and since we don't have a show for at least two months, the slight confusion in their eyes is understandable.

"There's not much work here these days, but as the day to a show nears, this floor will get crazier and crazier."

"I haven't seen a studio this big since college."

We walk around for a bit while she touches the clothes here and there, admiring the stitches and textures. We talk to some of the designers and then we head down once again.

"Ok, as for the third and fourth floor, they both have small individual studios for all the designers that work with me." We go down to the third floor. "We usually work in teams, each having different projects with different deadlines. It's a great way to get new ideas and for the interns to learn about all the stages of development from the concept to the full garment. Each team leader sets the assignments for their group and they can work in their individual studios."

These two floors have more noise and movement, with music in the background, laughter and talking. The designers have free range to decorate and use the space as they see fit, allowing them the creative environment they need. I try not to meddle too much in here, much to my control freak frustration, and only show up to see their development and give my input. They get nervous when I come and that doesn't help the creative process, so it's the team leader's job to see that individual tasks and deadlines are met.

I see Paul and Jane talking at the end of the room. I place my hand on Bella's back and lead her to them.

"Bella, I'd like you to meet Jane and Paul. Jane is in charge of the fall-winter collection and Paul of the spring-summer one."

"Guys, this is Bella, a friend." God, it feels like such a small word for what she really means to me, but we haven't talked about it yet, we've been busy just kissing and giving each other goofy looks. Not that I mind, but it doesn't help when it comes to introductions.

"Hi, nice meeting you." Bella shakes their hands and Jane gives me a weird look.

"How are things coming along?"

"Good, everything should be right on schedule. We'll meet with you next week." Jane says very business-like and Paul nods.

"Ok, set up a meeting with Irina and we'll see. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to show Bella around." I take her hand and I don't care what people think anymore.

"Jane looks ... nice." Bella whispers when we're heading down to the next floor. I have to laugh at that.

"She's a good designer, but nice? I don't know about that." Not from what I've heard from her team at least, but she gets the job done and she's not _that _unpleasant.

"Alright … the second floor is almost entirely for supplies, with rows of fabric rolls, accessories and just about everything you could need to make anything. It's all organized and Charlotte is the one in charge of it."

When I say her name, Charlotte looks up from her desk and comes to us.

"_Monsieur_ Cullen, to what do we owe the pleasure of your visit?" Charlotte's been with us since the beginning and we all see her more as a cool aunt. Cool, but when she gets angry, even _I _know to stay away.

"I was showing a friend around. Bella, this is Charlotte. Charlotte, meet Bella." Charlotte smiles softly and takes notice of my hand on Bella's back.

I suddenly feel proud to see that everyone is noticing that we are more than friends. What started as a mini freak-out when we left my office about people even seeing us together and what they might think, slowly transformed into something I can't wait for people to know.

"Nice meeting you, Bella." She smiles kindly at her and more and more I see how easily Bella fits into my life.

"Nice meeting you, Charlotte."

"So, Charlotte, would you mind if we step into your domain? We won't touch anything." I lift my arms in the air.

"Come right in. And of course you won't touch anything." She winks at me and says it like a statement. Again, we're all scared of her.

We walk through the rows and rows of fabrics and all the accessories at our disposal.

"We also have a section where a few seamstresses and tailors work, putting the finishing touches on what we need and helping with last minute emergencies. To the back there is an ironing area and closets.

"So you see? Similar to your own studio."

"Are you crazy? My studio is nothing compared to this." For a second I think she's joking, but I see a small frown in her face and she looks a little sad.

"Hey." I take her arm and pull her in front of me, facing me. "Yes, this is bigger, but your own studio has so much heart and care. Everything was chosen for a reason and that makes it more personal than all of this.

"I'm sorry if all of this overwhelms you. I didn't mean it that way, I just wanted to show you my world." I lean and kiss her forehead. I hope this gives her some comfort and calms her nerves.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean it to sound so harsh. Everything looks great, I love it. It just reminds me of my life at college and how it all ended.."

Of course, I may not know the whole story about what happened but I should've considered that all of this could bring up bad memories. Bella always looks so strong that I just assume nothing bothers her, but of course her past comes back every now and then.

I can't say I'm unfamiliar with that concept.

"No, I'm sorry. I should've thought about that. I don't want to see you upset. We can leave and you can come back whenever you want again."

"Thank you. And I want to be here, I just never thought something like seeing a studio again would make me react this way. It is silly."

"It's not silly, Bella. At all."

I close my eyes and run my hands up and down her back and after a few minutes she relaxes. I feel her breath on my neck, slowly making its way up my cheeks and lips. When I open my eyes she's right there in front of me and a second later, I feel her mouth making contact with mine. We forget about everything and kiss like teenagers in a room full of supplies.

Until Charlotte interrupts.

"Just making sure you weren't touching anything."

We break the kiss and look at her. It was so sudden, that we barely react. Neither knows what to say, which in turn makes Charlotte laugh as she retreats back to her desk.

That's when we laugh and all serious feelings from before are forgotten.

"Tell me what you want to do. Anything you want."

"Let's continue with the tour." And again this time, I'm the one taking her hand and leading her outside to the first floor. I have nothing to hide.

"And you already saw the first floor. There's the reception desk to the front with Maggie in charge, a waiting area, a cafeteria through the right hall and a lounge for everyone to relax, have coffee, whatever."

When I look back at Bella, she's looking right past the reception desk to the elevator. That always holds people's attentions.

That first day I stepped into this building, I was greeted with a lot of dust and messy rags, but right at the back of the first floor, facing the main entrance, there was this turn of the century vintage elevator, flanked by wide curved staircases on both sides. It needed repairs of course, but I loved the old time feel of it; bronze call panel, iron call button. It was only large enough for three people and even though it was faster to use the stairs, I couldn't just leave it unattended.

"Beautiful, isn't?" I whisper into Bella's ear. She nods but doesn't speak.

"Mom and I looked for the original pieces all over France and tried to keep it as original as possible. It's the first thing that people see when they walk into the building, so we saw it more like a presentation card."

"And the glass?"

The glass, of course. That was a later addition Mom and I discussed at length.

"We thought about it while we were working on this floor, seeing all the colors blend, that glass was the final touch to complete the look."

The elevator was already beautiful and even more so when we had it restored. Everything was polished, repaired and replaced. As we worked more and more on the rest of the reception area, we thought to keep it in a way that the elevator stood out, not because it was out of place, but because it made the room complete.

The fact that people were able to see who was inside the elevator was not a problem, but it still didn't fit the feel of the reception area, so in the end what we did was build a stained glass arch around the ornamental cast iron doors, covering the iron and cables.

It has shades of blue and green, colors that reminded Mom and me of our times in the country or at our house by the sea. If you sit in the reception area all day long, you are able to see the light hitting the glasses at different angles and gliding down the walls, giving the illusion that it's waves moving back and forth or grass being swayed by the wind. Of course only Maggie notices that, she's the only one who stays here that long.

The rest of the reception has a similar tone, giving a sense of calm and peace while people wait. We placed the reception desk a few feet in front of the elevator, since it's mostly for show, but if someone wants to use it, they can.

"I saw it when I came here earlier, but hadn't noticed the details." She leans forward, tracing the lines and shapes. "But how do you all work with this? They are slow and don't fit that many people."

"We installed more modern elevators around the corner, hidden from everyone. To not break the spell."

"God, Edward. Could you just do anything normal?" She laughs but I can tell she's a bit overwhelmed by all my anal retentive tendencies.

"I know, details drive me crazy." Now I'm getting a little nervous about what she might think about it. It could be too much for anyone.

"Well, that makes you great at what you do."

"And suck at everything else."

"Come on, let's get some coffee. I wanna see your own studio in more detail." Rolling her eyes she drags me in the direction of the cafeteria.

O~o~O~LB~O~o~O

Thirty minutes later and after a very giggly ride in the elevator on Bella's part, we're talking and eating in my studio. Irina checks on us every couple of minutes, I think she doesn't believe that laughter is coming out of my office.

"So what are you working on right now? If you don't mind me asking."

I freeze. For a moment I go back to four years ago when those same words left the lips of someone I trusted. Things went down hill from there.

I trusted the wrong people, people that, at the time, I thought would never betray me. How wrong I was. It was little things that, looking back now, I should've seen easily. I should've taken more care of what I said and showed, but I had no reason to do so.

"Edward? Are you ok?" I feel warm hands on my cheeks and when I open my eyes, that I hadn't noticed I'd closed, I see Bella's concerned eyes.

"Please, what's going on? Should I call someone?"

I shake my head and support my forehead on her shoulder, taking long and slow breaths, being filled with her sweet scent. Bella rubs my back humming softly, and I can feel those vibrations against my cheek by being so close to her neck.

"Are you ok now? I'm sorry if asking to see your designs bothers you this much." I can't believe that she's the one apologizing to me.

"Bella, no. It wasn't that at all. It's just those words brought bad memories and I should've had more control." I lift my head and rest it at the back of the couch.

"Hey, don't blame yourself. These things come at random times." She's so gentle, running her hand on my hair. Every touch is so soothing, I could easily fall asleep like this. And the best part is that it doesn't feel awkward to be this intimate.

She's right, anything can trigger a memory, good or bad and I've been trying to bury all of them deep inside. The good ones only remind me of how oblivious I was back then. I feel like a fool and the bad memories, well, who wants those? Yet, they are the ones that I've recalled over and over in the last years.

I see Bella and she's here, strong and moving forward. I wonder if there is a moment in which you realize that is exactly what you should do: move on.

Taking a deep breath I start to realize that perhaps, in the last two weeks, that is what I've been doing, slowly giving myself a chance at ... anything and everything. If that's the case, maybe I should start taking deliberate steps as well.

"Here, I'll show you what I've been working on lately." I stand up go to my work table, sorting some papers there.

"Are you sure? I don't want to pressure you." I feel her right behind me and even though she's hesitant about my move, she does look curious.

"Yes, I am. Come, I want to hear what you think." I really do and the excitement at taking a peek at how she creates returns full force.

Maybe taking steps forward is not so bad.

We then spend the next hour discussing lines and lengths and colors. We even fill twenty minutes with a talk about zippers and how I like to hide them as much as possible as to not break the flow of the clothes. Bella thinks that sometimes seeing them can make them work, especially with more modern pieces. I absolutely disagree, but it's fun to see her all passionate about zippers of all things.

At some point she even picked up a pencil and started drawing figures to show me some ideas, I don't think she even noticed what she was doing, but I let her have her moment and in turn, I got to see her work.

I find that I often use the word cute when it comes to Bella and this time is no exception; the little frown she makes when she can't get a line the way she wants, the rhythmic drumming of her fingers that gets faster when she's right on track, the tiny peek I get of her tongue when she's finishing a draft. Everything is so damn cute with her.

And in between all those little quirks, I get to see her mind as well. I can only say that it's simply brilliant, I'm in true awe of how her brain works. The way she adds tiny details in the end, even when I think her designs are already finished, making a great difference in the final product.

She's fantastic with lines and understanding the woman's form. I take some pencils as well and add the colors I think would fit to her work. The end result are drawings of two people complementing each other. Shapes and colors.

She thinks of everything: how it would feel against a woman's skin after hours of wearing them, how comfortable it would be to sit and move in them, how would the color change under different lights, natural and artificial. She even talked about how comfortable it would be to walk fast or run in them, giving that often women are always in a hurry, and who wants a shirt that constantly rides up or the fear of showing a boob.

I laughed at that and she lightly slapped my chest.

It's amazing to see her like that. It's one of the few times that I've seen her so freaking passionate about something. Her eyes shining with excitement.

"Have you thought about working on something more design-centered? Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against being a seamstress, but you obviously love to do this." I point at the drawing in front of us.

"Not for a long time. Lately, though ... it has been on my mind more and more."

I'd do anything to see her this happy every day.

"You should and I thoroughly encourage it." I take her hand and make sure she sees I'm being truthful. I want her to shine and I want the world to see that.

"Thank you." Shiny eyes look back at me and I see that she understands that I have her back.

Her phone rings and brings us back to the present.

"Ok, that was Alice, she's heading to my place. I should go." She says after checking it.

I look at the time and notice that I've been showing her around all afternoon. I couldn't be happier about that.

"Alright, I'd love to walk you home, but I have to finish some things before heading out." I've never hated being a control freak more than now.

"Oh God, you have to work. And here I've been taking your time." Now she looks worried.

"Hey, I can't think of a better way to spend my afternoon. You have no idea how freeing your visit made me feel." Even with my freak out, every day with Bella keeps getting better.

I kiss her with more fervor this time and revel in the fact that we've been doing this all day. Always sweet and soft kisses that now turn hot and passionate. The mixing of moans in the air is driving me crazy.

"Well, _Mademoiselle_ Swan, I have to say your visit has been most welcome."

"You're welcome, _Monsieur _Cullen. Happy to be here." Giggling, it takes us another ten minutes to say goodbye and for her to leave.

What a change from a few hours ago, hell, from a few _weeks_ ago.

"_Monsiuer _Cullen, your sister on line one." Irina informs me.

_Damn Tanya_.

* * *

><p><strong>Oohhh, Edward's in trouble :-P<strong>

**I guess this could be seen as more of a 'filler' chapter (and the longest one so far, lol), now you know where E spends his time away from home and Bella. I did give you more little clues about Edward's story, I promise it will all be revealed … in chapter 3637374, lol. Just kidding.**

**No pics this week.**

**And that's it. Thanks for reading, sweeties, and I'll see ya in two more weeks.**


	8. Balconies

**Greetings :-)**

**Thanks for continuing to read these kids' journey, sweeties. With the last chapter you saw just how much he loves what he does, even designing his studio was born from that passion.**

**Thanks to my beta Songster and her help in making my words look like they make sense :-) Last Tuesday was Celebrate Your Beta Day and I'll say once again how much I love my beta. She puts up with my rambley emails, my 1AM random docs and all the craziness in between. Oy. She's a saint and I love her. Thanks, bb.  
><strong>

**Once again, I don't own Twilight. Nothing's changed on that front.**

**A little more family time ...**

O~o~O~LB~O~o~O

'**Balconies'**

"How long are you gonna be mad at me?" I ask Rose. We're siting in the backyard of her house, watching Marie running around chasing butterflies.

"I just wanted to meet her." She whines for the hundredth time since Thursday.

After Tanya called her and bragged that she had met Bella that day, Rose talked my ear off about the fact that she had made it perfectly clear she wanted to meet Bella, preferably soon. After I explained to her that was how things turned out and that I had not been avoiding introducing them to each other, she had calmed down and made me promise to arrange something.

So I'll be asking Bella this afternoon what she thinks about meeting Rose next week. I could've set something for tomorrow, but it seemed too rushed and I want to know if she feels comfortable with this. That was the best answer I could give Rose.

If I'm honest with myself, I also wanted time to get used to the idea of finally letting Bella into my most inner circle. Just like Thursday, it was both a scary and exciting prospect. I felt like I could either throw up or continue to grin like an idiot as I've been doing for the past weeks. At least I was used to one of those two things by now.

"And you will, Rose. I just have to talk to her and see how she feels about this. I don't want to scare her off." And myself for that matter.

"Ok, but as soon as you know her answer, I'll meet her. Mom will be thrilled when she does."

And that is another factor to consider. I know my parents will be happy about this. Hell, they already are and I barely said a word about Bella to them. But am I ready to introduce them to her? Wouldn't it be too much too soon as things are at the moment?

I don't think that way when it comes to Rose; she's been close to me all this time. It feels almost natural that she meets Bella. But Mom and Dad? I'm much more anxious about what they think and feel about this.

And this is where overthinking takes me.

"I promise, little sis." I smile when I see Marie jumping over some low logs, trying to reach a butterfly.

"You _will _introduce her to Mom and Dad, right?" Concern laced her tone.

"I will, just ... I don't know when. I want to find my way back with them before presenting new people into their lives."

Rose stays quiet for a few moments and regards me from across the seat.

"Bullshit. You're scared." I'm surprised, not only by the fact that once again she can read me perfectly, but the fact that she cursed with Marie so near. Then again, the little one is totally oblivious to anything but her quest.

"Jesus Christ, Rose. Marie is right _there_." I try to deflect and run my hand through my hair. "And yeah."

"They won't turn away from you. They didn't with Renata, they sure won't do it with Bella."

"But so much time has gone by, we've all changed. I don't want to hurt them more than I already have." Fuck, I feel frustrated about everything.

I love my parents, I really do. They are supportive, loving and immensely patient when I asked them to step away. And because I love them, I can't hurt them again.

When I met Renata, she absolutely captivated me. There she was, this exotic Italian beauty: tall with a perfect body, shiny blond hair and a beautiful tan skin. She was funny and had a personality that just demanded attention. And I did pay attention.

I had very little experience with women when we met. I had always been more of a loner growing up especially with all the time I spent home, and later submerged in school and making a name for myself.

I was instantly attracted to her and I just couldn't believe that _she_ was the one pursuing _me_. She showed me a world I had never been a part of, with parties, outings, hot sex. We were engaged in less than six months after meeting.

My parents were not happy about this; they didn't approve but never said anything more on the subject when they saw how serious I was about her. Rose ... was another thing altogether. She loathed Renata, she couldn't even stand the sight of her, and unlike my parents, she made her opinion known every chance she got.

We had a happy first year, or at least that's how I remember it. We continued our lifestyle as I worked on my new line. I thought everything was perfect in my life: my family, my work, my marriage. I had been so oblivious to what was right in front of me.

I stopped paying attention to what Rose was going through at the time and was hit with it in the worst possible way. Even when she doesn't blame me for not seeing it, saying she was the one hiding it from us, it still makes my stomach churn to imagine what could've happened.

In the end, when everything spiraled down with Renata and I had my revenge, I pushed my family away. I couldn't see them anymore, couldn't face them after what I'd done. And now, now that my life is just starting to get back on track, I'm more terrified of the damage I could inflict on them.

They don't deserve it, they _didn't_ deserve it all those years ago, yet that's what I did. I hurt them with my actions and I hurt them when I removed myself from their lives. I can't help but fear that history could repeat itself, even though my rational side says Bella is nothing like Renata and everything is different now, _I'm _different now.

"What do you mean? You didn't hurt them by meeting Renata back then, you hurt them when you chose her over them and after her death when you pushed them away. Why would you hurt them now by introducing Bella?"

"Because I'm scared about what I might do if things don't work out with her. What if I follow the same pattern I did back then and end up hurting Mom, Dad, Bella, you? What if what happened with Renata was proof of who I really am, not what circumstances turned me into?" I whisper sadly, this has been my greatest fear all along and the main reason I avoid contact with anyone.

What if that was the real me?

"Edward," I feel her hand on mine. "You said it yourself, we've all changed. Would you consciously do the same thing now that you did two years ago with Renata?" I shake my head.

"No. Would Mom and Dad just take it and step away again? I can tell you they wouldn't. We're all different now. Trust them, trust _yourself_ this time."

"I don't know if I'll be strong enough to stop myself if anything goes wrong." My feelings for Bella are already much stronger than the ones for Renata. I could hurt her much worse, _she _could hurt me as well.

"Enough with the 'what ifs'. You're stronger than you think, you've always been. That's why deep down Mom and Dad didn't push harder with you, they thought – no - knew you'd find your way back. They just never thought it would take you two years."

Mom, Dad, Bella. All caught up in my screwed up mind.

I consider Rose's words. She's right, I am stronger now; I've learned from my mistakes and I pray to God I won't repeat them. I just can't stop that little voice that tells me that I can't truly change.

I can see Bella's influence in my life is stronger everyday; the fact that I'm considering letting her meet my parents proves it once again. I recognize that I need to take that influence and use it in the rest of my life. In this case, with my parents. If I can't talk to them and really let them enter my life again, then Bella's light in my life has been for nothing.

"I just need more time, that's all."

We stay silent for after that, both deep in thought. I know she's recalling her own life as well and how everything unfolded for her.

"I think her story is similar to yours. I don't know how similar, but there was someone that hurt her."

"Really?"

"Yes, I think so. She didn't mention any details, but I think so." The anger and little bit of sadness for her returns. "So you see, I don't want to hurt her too."

"I see." She remains in silence and I know she's going over everything in her head, making sense of it all. She always does that. Thinks before acting.

"So you think just because of that, she can't handle anything else?"

"What? No! Of course, not. I'm just saying that there are other things to consider here besides myself and our parents."

"Edward, listen. After Royce, I had a lot of time to think and consider what happened. One of the things that made me rage and feel completely helpless was that he took any choice from me, it was _his_ choice about _my _life. Yes, I realize that I also let him have that power over me and I've struggled a lot with it."

_Am I being like Royce?_

"No, you're not," Rose said emphatically. I hadn't noticed I said that out loud. "The fact that you realize that something's wrong says that you're nothing like Royce.

"So please, don't take the choice away from her. Let her decide what to do with the info you give her. Tell her your story, don't tell her, that's up to you. But don't make decisions for her."

I nod and Rose leaves me to my thoughts. I stay thinking and watching Marie play in the garden until she calls me to join her.

"See? You have to hold the butterfly just right. Not too hard so you won't crush it and not too loose so it won't fly away." Marie watches with rapt attention to the colors and movements the butterfly in my hand makes.

"Oohh. Look, uncle! It has your eyes!" It has not only my green color, but also the shapes in the wings resemble a pair of eyes.

"Let's look for one that has _your_ eyes. Ok, _mon soleil_?" I move my hand to let it fly and we watch it flutter away.

We spend the next thirty minutes looking for one that makes Marie happy with its colors and every now and then my conversation with Rose comes to mind.

My parents will be happy about Bella and rationally I know a disagreement won't ruin us for good. Still, I'm scared shitless.

Change, that's the main thought in my head when I head over to Bella's. If nothing else, the last couple of years have been a true testament to that. Everything changes and maybe this time, it's for the better.

O~o~O~LB~O~o~O

"Bella?" I open her door after she buzzed me in downstairs, but when I take a look at her living room, I find no one there.

"In the kitchen!"

I follow her voice and there she is, in an apron in front of the stove.

"Hey." I approach her and place my hands on her hips, making her jump a little and then relax, leaning back into my chest. I love her reactions to my touch. I have the same ones to hers.

I kiss her bare shoulder and, closing my eyes, revel in the warmth from the stove and her. It's so damn comforting.

"Hey, you."

We stay in silence for a while, slowly breathing in and out, forgetting everything else in the world. But when the hint of burning hits my nose, I open my eyes and stand back. I hate the loss of her touch but no need to burn her place down just to have her in my arms.

"Wow, you're here two seconds and I'm ready to feed you burned _crêpes_." She teases and flips the _crêpe_.

"You're making _crêpes_? What's the occasion?" Stupidly enough, it is now that I take notice of what she's cooking.

"Nothing, really. Just woke up with the strangest urge to have them."

I notice a boiling pot on the stove as well and when I lean in, I see an unlabeled can covered in water. What the hell?

"Bella? What's this? Why are you boiling a can?"

"That's condensed milk. You boil it for about three hours and it turns into dulce de leche," at my quizzical look, she adds. "I swear it works, you'll see. And it's almost ready, so you don't have to wait three hours." She laughs, because three hours?

And now I really want some _crêpes_. Fifteen minutes later, when she opens the can and there is indeed dulce de leche, Bella giggles at my surprised look.

"I told ya."

_Crêpes _with dulce de leche. These are my new favorite.

O~o~O~LB~O~o~O

"God, that was amazing. I can barely move." We're sitting on her couch an hour later and I'm really close to popping open my pants' button.

"I'm glad you liked them." Bella has her eyes closed and she's laying down along the couch with her feet on my lap. In my sated fog, I notice that her dress has ridden up.

God, her legs. They're even more tantalizing than the first time I saw them. This is both great, because I'm a guy after all; and also a little stressful since all I want is to run my hands up her skin and test its softness compared to the rest of her.

Suddenly, I'm not so sated anymore.

"Edward?"

Great, now I'm caught checking out her legs. Fine legs, but still.

"Yes? Were you saying something?" I say calmly enough, turning to look at her and hope she doesn't ask me about my perusing. It doesn't get any more awkward than that.

"No, nothing." Her eyes are still closed and she looks so damn pretty smiling here, with the sun moving up her body.

The entire room is bathed in the August sun and even if it's a little hot, we have some respite with the open balcony doors. I can hear people talking and laughing from outside and even the falling water from the fountain in the middle of the square. It's incredible how much my senses catch when I'm like this, completely at peace with everything.

As usual, even the smallest and seemingly insignificant moments turn into something more when I'm with Bella.

I close my eyes as well, resting my head in the back of the couch, and let everything slip away as I run my hands along Bella's calves. That's as far as I'll allow my hands to roam without freaking her out. Or myself.

I think back to what Rose said earlier in the day and the sad looks she kept giving me throughout lunch. She's worried about me, not that I can blame her, I'd be too if the situation was reversed.

It's just moments like this make me forget everything that's wrong and dark in my life and talking about it with Bella interrupts the little peaceful world we have together. I don't want that, I don't want to taint our moments with sad memories, even though I know they are necessary to approach.

I haven't talked to Bella about my past, just let her have what she's read in the media. I'm scared for what she'll think, but at the same time, if she's gonna have a role in my life, whatever that might be, she deserves the truth before making any decisions about staying or leaving. As much as that last thought depresses me.

Rose is right, I can't make decisions for her, it's not fair and that was a mistake I made with my parents. I can't repeat it.

I need to take steps forward with Bella as well.

"Edward?" I hear her moving to my right.

"Yes?" I turn my head and open my eyes. There she is, leaning on her elbows with a worried look.

"Are you alright?"

"Yes. Why do you ask?" Maybe I'd been speaking out loud?

"Um ... you're kinda gripping my legs a little too much there." She motions with her head to her legs. When I look down, I see that indeed my hands are gripping her too forcefully.

"Fuck, Bella. I'm so sorry. Are you hurt? Are you ok?" I start to panic and release her legs. What am I doing?

"Hey. Yes, I'm ok. No need to panic." I feel her hands cupping my cheeks and I haven't realized I had closed my eyes once again. Was I having a small panic attack?

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you." And I'm terrified of doing that in the future.

"You were deep in thought. It wasn't on purpose. Please don't worry, just calm down." Listening to her voice and feeling her hands in my face and hair, I slowly start to come back.

Yep, a panic attack. I haven't had those in a long time.

When I open my eyes, not only do I see her concerned face in front of me, but a pretty smile as well.

"There you are. Don't hide those eyes from me again." We're face to face and seeing her like that, so happy to just be here with me makes me, in turn, smile back.

I lean forward and press my lips to hers. I want to take some of that confidence she always carries with her and let it wash over me, to have even an ounce of her strength and face what I'm so scared of.

She's so freaking strong and it saddens me to see that it came with a price for her.

"Come meet my sister and niece next week." I blurt without thinking, or more like after overthinking it.

Bella doesn't say anything; she doesn't frown, she doesn't smile, nothing. She just stares at me with those beautiful eyes and I can't read anything from them. I'm beginning to think that freaking out about this was right in the first place.

"Ok. I'd love to meet them." She says as simple as that but there is nothing simple about her acceptance. It means so much to me.

"Thank you." I start breathing more evenly now and feel so stupid about my reaction.

"No need to thank me. I know this is a big step for you, Edward. The fact that you reacted like this tells me so. If it's not something you feel comfortable with, we can do it another time. I don't mind waiting and besides, we don't know that much about each other."

There she is, giving me a way out, making _me_ feel better. If nothing else, it solidifies the fact that I want her to meet my family. That I want _her_.

"I do want you there; I want you to meet them." I smile a sincere smile, because not only am I telling her the truth, but also everything that has to do with her is real. I smile sincerely; I feel real happiness, I even freak out truly because of it.

Her words also tell me she's probably been thinking the same thing I have about not knowing each other too well. She shared part of her story with me, no matter how painful it was and that brought us a little bit closer together. I'll tell her everything soon. Bella deserves it.

"I want to tell you about me, Bella, I really do. I will, just not yet, ok?" She nods and leaves it at that, her smile never wavering.

She leans forward and kisses my forehead. We stay close like that for a while and I see how the sun's angle keeps on moving around the room, signaling the end of the day in a few hours.

I love moments like this with her and I hate that time has to move forward and end our time together.

"Come on, you look like you could use some coffee. Besides, I want to show you something." She stands up and holds out her hand out for me to take, without hesitation, I do and again, I'd follow her anywhere.

O~o~O~LB~O~o~O

Thirty minutes later, we're up in her studio, lounging on the balcony; coffee and some pastries she brought from the bakery, resting on a side table near us.

"So, I've been working on some things. Actually, a lot of things in the last couple of weeks, but more so since last Thursday." She holds a notebook in her lap and looks a little hesitant to even move.

My hands itch to see what's inside. And now to hear her say that the fact she's been inspired ever since the day we spent together ... fills me with pride for her. If my presence can give her something, anything, I'm glad it's re-inspiring her love for creating.

"Can I see them?" Say yes, please.

"I don't know why I'm so nervous now. You've seen some of them that first day we met."

"Don't feel embarrassed or anything. I loved the ones I saw that day and the ones we created the other day were incredible. You could show me the drawing of a diaper and I'd love it." At her raised eyebrow I add. "Well, maybe not a diaper, but you know what I mean."

"Yeah, yeah. Take it before I chicken out." She holds it out to me, almost like it's a bomb or something and turns her head to the side with her eyes closed. She looks adorable thinking I might not like what I see.

And just as I expect – know -, when I open her sketchbook I'm blown away by what I discover. As I turn the pages I see what she means, she _has_been inspired; the book is full. Her early drawings are good, but nothing compared to the ones in the second half of the sketchbook. The lines flow more easily in those and I notice a section where some of the garments are like pieces of a puzzle, they fit with only certain ones.

"I know. I had a weird inspiration for those." I feel her breath close to my ear and I shiver from it. I only now notice that she's sitting much closer to me, her head leaning against my arm.

"You never know where inspiration comes. I once drew ten pages after watching the boats float down the Seine." It wasn't so much about the colors and shapes that inspired me as much as the way they floated in the river. Something soothing about it.

I hope by the sound of her quiet laugh, I calmed her nerves for a moment.

I keep turning the pages and notice all the details. I take my time with some of the pages and I think I can tell her mood in some of them. Fast lines at times, telling me she was inspired and excited trying to get her hands to catch up with her vision. Others were more calm and thought out, showing that she had a very specific idea in mind.

I can just picture her doing those cute mannerisms I saw the other day. Her slight frown, the crinkling of the brow, even the peek of her tongue when she's ending her drafts.

"Bella, these are ... " Great? Inspiring? Unique just like you?

"Incomplete, I know. I shouldn't have let you see them before they were finished." She's trying to get the book out of my hands but I'll have none of that.

"Wait." I grip it close to my chest. "You're wrong. They're great, I just have no words to tell you how good I think your work is."

I see her relax and then eye the book like it's gonna disappear at any second. I guess me gripping it and pretty much taking it hostage is not helping her worry. I slowly give it back. Now she's the one with the death grip on it.

"You really think so?" And oh my God, I can't stop myself when I move forward and take her in my arms, the book in between us. The look of pure worry on her face is too much for me to bear and I hate that she doubts her talent.

"Bella, you have no idea how blown away your mind leaves me. The way you think, what you say, how you act and now, what you create. You never cease to amaze me, Isabella Swan." I love that I'm the one comforting her for once.

"Thank you."

"You don't have to thank me." I repeat her words from earlier.

"Why were you so worried about what I think?" I ask her after a few moments of silence.

"I don't know. I just care about what you think, I mean, you are a well respected designer. Or so I hear," she teases. "What you think matters to me ... always."

By her demeanor, I'm glad that her nerves are mostly gone now, but her words floor me. I feel so humbled that she holds my opinion in such high regard. I feel the same way when it comes to her and it makes me want to work harder to earn her praise, to be better. For her.

"Thank you." After I few breaths, I find my voice again.

"But Bella, I don't hold the inside track to designing. No one does, what works for some, doesn't work for others. You just worry about what _you_think."

"I know that. It's just ... after so long without drawing and the little I did, I never showed anyone; it feels weird to open up like this."

I look down at her, her face looking out in the distance and for a second, I see myself in her. I can see that as much as strength she has, there's also a part that is insecure and scared about what others say and do.

"I know what you mean." Too well actually.

The sun keeps retreating so we decide to go back inside. It's not a cold day by any means, but the safety of her home drags us in.

I look around her studio once again while Bella sets her book with the rest of her things.

"You _have _been busy." I notice a lot of loose drawings on her table and even on the floor. It looks a lot like my own studio when I'm locked in for days.

"Like I said. Inspired." She winks and leads me back into her apartment.

O~o~O~LB~O~o~O

"So your family knows about me?" We're eating pasta at her small table close to the window. It's night time now and the square is full of light, so much so, that even kids are still out playing with their parents watching.

"Yes, I told them about you. Is that ok?" I hadn't realized that, although I might have told Rose about Bella and a little to my parents, she doesn't know that much about them. No wonder she looks a little worried.

"Oh, yes. No problem, it's just I know very little about them and I know reading about their lives is not the same."

Just as I thought.

"You're right. I've told them about you, but not everything."

"Thank you, I'm not trying to pry or anything, I'd just like to know a little about your sister and niece."

I understand what she's saying and I think about how much to tell her while we clean everything up. Rose wouldn't mind, she knows that whoever I talk to is someone I trust, but it's hard to think about what happened to her without wanting to kill Royce.

"Ok, what exactly do you know about Rose?" We're sitting once again on her couch.

"Well, I know she's a famous author of children's books. Actually, Aimée loves her books. Do you think she could sign a book for her? Oh my God, sorry to ask, now I look like a weirdo and a little bit stalkerish." She's shaking her head, a blush covering her cheeks.

"Don't be embarrassed, she won't mind at all. She actually loves to meet her fans and talk to the parents; she says it gives her some notion as to how they see her books." I laugh and think about Rose sitting on the floor during her book signings, surrounded by kids asking her to read to them.

"Ok, what else?" Her face shows she's angry and I know what's coming.

"I know about her ex-husband and how he almost beat her to death while she was pregnant. The media didn't give more details on that, thank God, only that he died in jail a year later." She's slightly shaking, so I take her hand and rub her knuckles trying to calm her. If my thoughts about her past are right, of course Rose's story might shake her.

"You're right, thank God the media didn't say more." I take a few deep breaths, I can't lose it now.

"I can tell you my side of the story; it wouldn't be fair to Rose for me to tell you everything and I'm sure there are thing even I don't know." When she nods, I continue.

"Rose married Royce really young. He was so damn charming and he never showed his true self, maybe not even to Rose before they got married." We all still blamed ourselves for being so damn blind.

"Back then I was building a name for myself so I saw everything under a different light. I was climbing up, Rose was married. I _wanted _to believe everything was fine.

"Things got better in my mind when I met Renata and we found out Rose was pregnant. I couldn't believe it, my baby sister having her own baby and months later I was married as well."

I take a deep breath thinking about that dreadful night when everything changed.

"I received a phone call from her one night and when I went to her house, I didn't know what I'd find, frankly." God, Rose was so beaten up and losing blood fast, all she said was to save her baby.

"Royce was passed out in the yard when the police arrived, but I didn't give a shit about him. I wanted to take care of my sister and kill him with my bare hands." Thank God, I was able to concentrate solely on Rose and Marie.

Everything happened so fast, we weren't told anything; the doctors were scared of losing her and the baby.

The only thing keeping me together at the moment is Bella's touch on my hand.

"Then little Marie was born, she was small and so fragile. The pregnancy was almost ending so she was born a week earlier than her due date, but we were worried about the beating she might've gotten. From the police, we heard later that Rose had been protecting her belly and took most of the hits." Fucking Royce.

"Thank God the doctors were able to save both of them. We were so happy about that and ready to start the healing progress. We never knew that would be the worst part."

God, those months had been so hard on Rose and all of us. Rose could barely function. It got so bad, Mom and I had to take turns taking care of Marie. We bathed her, fed her, sang to her; all while we worked to get Rose to the place we knew she could be: the strong and confidant woman we knew.

"Rose didn't have the strength to take care of herself, much less little Marie. So we did it. We took care of her while Rose healed."

They were tough months, but I loved my moments with Marie. Her little giggles, watching her grow up so fast, even changing the diapers was an adventure with her.

I feel very protective of her since then and I'm never been more grateful to Rose when she didn't pull back after my divorce. Looking back, I don't think I could've handled not seeing Marie all this time.

It didn't help the situation that Renata wanted nothing to do with kids. She only visited Marie when I made her, she always said she didn't know how to be around kids and didn't want to upset her. Like a fool I believed she might change her mind in the future when we had our own kids.

"I worked on my line, then went straight to Mom and Dad's where Rose was staying to take care of Marie and after that went home to Renata. Funny that my time with Renata was the only time I didn't have to worry about anything, when in reality I should've been more suspicious of her." She certainly took that time to screw me over.

I hear a sniffle and when I look at Bella, tears are running down her cheeks, but she shakes her head when I make a move to hug her, as if she's fine and doesn't need comfort at the moment.

"One day, I get to Mom's place and I hear Marie cry. I hurry up to her on the second floor and on my way up, she stops crying altogether. I panicked and ran even faster, thinking the worst, but when I open the door, I see Rose, sitting on her bed, breastfeeding her. The sight nearly made me cry.

"I don't move from the door and let them have their moment. From that day forward, she started to wake up more and more and taking care of her daughter. Mom and I were needed less and less and we couldn't be happier about that."

I once asked Rose about that day, about what woke her up. She said Marie had been crying for a while and nobody was home. She knew I was coming so she didn't move. But the more Marie cried and I didn't show up, she realized that the little pink baby in her crib needed _her_, not her uncle or her grandparents, but her mother.

We couldn't be there forever and she couldn't let that baby, her daughter, be defenseless. She finally saw that she had been brave against Royce and she'd be damned if she'd be weak again, especially with her daughter.

She never looked back and now Marie is her entire world.

"Royce died in prison a year later. As a form of therapy, Rose had been writing a while before that but after his death she wrote more and more until her series was published the following year."

"Oh my God, Edward." She's crying now and I don't care what she says, I hug her. I seem to be doing a lot that today, not that I mind, but I much rather I'd be hugging her just because instead of to console her.

"Shh, it's ok. Rose is ok, Marie's ok." I rock her back and forth.

"I'm sorry, I know they're ok and I'm glad. Just ... thinking about what she must've been feeling and thinking." And it kills me that she might know as well.

After she stops crying, I prepare her some tea and sit by her side on the couch again. We don't say anything more. I've said enough as it is already.

"I'm sorry if this was too much, Bella."

"Edward, please. I'm a big girl, you know. I can take it. Besides, I asked you. I just hope she doesn't mind."

"Don't worry, she trusts that I won't be advertising her story. She likes you already, actually," and that makes her blush a little. "Like I said, it's not the entire story and I'd rather let Rose tell you the rest if she feels like it." I'm certain that she will at some point.

"Thank you for trusting me then." She snuggles into my side, and with my arm around her, we watch the lights from the outside. We're both deep in thought, going over everything that was said. Maybe she'll trust me more now and tell me the rest of her story.

I feel more calm now that I shared another piece of my life with her. Now she'll meet Rose and Marie and hopefully, when I'm ready, my parents as well. After that, all there'll be left is for me to tell her my story with Renata. And even with a little panic at the thought of it, little by little I feel more ready for that day.

However, even with all my early hesitations, at this moment I can't help but feel a little excited about Bella meeting my sister. I can't wait for these two brave women to meet: for Rose to see warmth of Bella and for Bella to see the protectiveness of Rose.

And here goes, my two worlds finally coming together.

* * *

><p><strong>Oh yeah, another big step for him. Now you see what kind of special relationship Edward has with his sister and niece. They've both been through a lot and he was there for them and not just because they're family.<strong>

**Next chapter … something special for these kids ;-)**

**Dulce de leche … nom nom nom. Delicious and sweet. I usually get it store bought, but it's delicious home made as well. You just put an unopened can of condensed milk in a pot of boiling water for about 3 to 4 hours (totally worth it IMHO) and when you open it, you find Dulce de Leche. The only thing is that the can MUST ALWAYS be covered by water, otherwise the part that isn't, stays as condensed milk or if the water runs out, well, you don't wanna know. Water is super important, so stay close to the pot, lol. There are other ways to do Dulce de Leche, but this is the way it has worked for me for years. If you've never had it, dewwww it now. Super easy and sweet if that's your thing.**

**No pics this week either, but quite a few for the next one.**

**Also, hugs and prayers to all of you who were affected by Irene last week, in any degree. Hope you and your families are ok. Thinking of ya, sweeties.**

**And thanks for reading once again, pretty ladies. See ya in two more weeks :-)**


	9. Photographs

**Hello there pretty ladies :-)**

**And here we are again. Another week, another adventure, lol. Glad you liked the last chapter, big steps for both of them.**

**Once again, many thanks to my beta Songster for her super-duper skillz in working with all my files ;-)**

**I don't own Twilight, but you know that.**

**Ok, a little something special for these kids ...**

O~o~O~LB~O~o~O

'**Photographs'**

On Sunday, I spent my time with Bella, just hanging out in her apartment. Once again, I 'helped' her cook and all she did was smile and shake her head at my inability to simply stir something. She was so patient with me, I was sure we'd either have to go out to eat or order in.

Somehow, she managed to make things right.

For the rest of the day we just curled up on the couch and watched old movies: Sabrina, Breakfast at Tiffany's, Roman Holiday. Bella loves Audrey Hepburn and I loved watching Bella and her reactions to some of the scenes. She'd smile often, mouth the dialogue, appear surprised though she knew what would happen, she even took my hand when the characters were close to kissing and held her breath. I could've spent the entire afternoon just watching her. Which I did.

"Why do you like these movies?" I asked her when we were tidying everything up.

"What's not to love? The scenery, the dialogue, the dresses. God, I love the dresses. When I watched them with Mom, she would copy a design and make a miniature version of it for me." Her smile was not sad this time. She loved reminiscing about those times.

I smile too, imagining a little Bella _à la_Audrey Hepburn.

"Rose loved those movies as well. She'd make me watch them and sighed every time Gregory Peck came onto the screen." Rather uncomfortable to watch your sister do that.

After the movies were over, we set a date to see more the following Sunday afternoon. It would be Hitchcock time and I was already thinking of ways to make the afternoon a little different.

I liked that we were starting traditions such as that. It felt natural to spend our time together.

When I got home that night, I had an idea about where to take Bella the following week, before our meeting with Rose. I wanted her to relax as much as possible and spending time with her was always on my mind anyway.

I called her to see if she could take Wednesday afternoon off.

"Where are you taking me?" She had been curious but playful over the phone.

"You'll see, _Mademoiselle _Swan. You're not the only one who knows where good places in Paris are."

"I trust you." She said it with such ease, it threw me off for a second, but thinking back to the fact that I felt the same way about her just a few days after meeting; well, it only made me smile like a moron.

"Thank you."

So here I am on Wednesday, pretty much inhaling my lunch to try to get home, change and then go to Bella's. All I told her was to dress comfortably.

"Well, easy there boy. You're gonna choke to death and then where will we be? No, wait, that could actually work for me. Less work." Tanya is standing by my office door with a face that says that she's honestly considering the prospect of my death.

"Wow, with friends like you…"

"You know I'm kidding but really… easy with the food." She sits and looks very comfortable there. We've always been like this though. Too comfortable with each other to be anything other than friends. It was very obvious in the time we dated.

"I know, but now that you're here, I have someone to do the Heimlich if needed." I smile and take a big bite out of my panini.

"As if," she snorts. "I'll push you down to the floor and jump on you or something. I'm not strong enough to perform a Heimlich."

"Geez, thanks. At least I'll survive. I think." I finish my lunch and start gathering my things, making last minute notes to the papers Irina brought me earlier.

"Where are you going anyway? Irina told me that you weren't taking appointments this afternoon."

"I have things to do outside of work, you know. A life." Even as I say it, I don't believe my words. Neither does Tanya from the way one of her eyebrows arches.

"Ok, ok. I'm taking Bella somewhere this afternoon. And that's all you're getting from me. After your stunt last week with your call to Rose, I shouldn't even say this much." I try to look angry, but fail miserably. Bella had broken my intimidating face.

"Alright, I won't ask more on the subject. But I'm ... happy for you, Edward. I'm glad you finally realize that work is not all there is in the world."

I know her words are sincere. Ever since Renata's death, Tanya's been trying to get me to 'loosen up' a bit, to leave earlier, to not come by on Saturdays. I never saw the point to it, there was never a place I wanted to be more than here in my studio or in my apartment's studio. Saturday afternoons with Rose and Marie were my only break.

Until now that is.

"Thanks, T." I kiss her cheek and I'm out the door.

"I'm taking Friday afternoon off, I have a date!" She yells at me and her voice fades while I take the stairs down. I'm too keyed up to wait for the elevator.

I get home and change into something more comfortable. We'll be walking and it's hot as hell today. When I'm done, I go to my studio and search in one of my drawers for what I know is still there. I take it, text Bella and I'm on my way.

The ten blocks walk there is pleasant and since it's Wednesday afternoon and after lunch, the streets are not that crowded.

"Hey, it's Edward." I say after I buzz the intercom.

"Come on up."

Bella waits for me in her living room and even though every time I see her I think she's the most beautiful girl in the world, she manages to spark that thought again and again. When I had told Bella to wear something comfortable, I never expected this.

Bella is wearing shorts.

Red shorts and a loose, white top. She's showing so much skin, I don't think my mind or my body can take it. I can see her long legs, her soft arms and shoulders and because she has a ponytail, I can see her naked neck.

I should've thought this through.

"Um, is this ok? You said dress comfortably so ... " She looks so uncertain and I blame my damn hormones for making her nervous.

"Bella, you look great." Too great. "And it's fine for where we're going."

"Thanks, you look great as well." I remember that I haven't said hello and move towards her and wrapping my arms around her, I kiss her soft and sweet.

"Well, thanks for the compliment." I murmur against her skin.

And because we can't waste time and I'm thinking I should've taken the whole day off instead of just the afternoon, I move back and break contact.

"We have to go, but we can continue with this later on." It feels weird to be a little forward, but I love kissing her and we seem to be at a stage where we can kiss without it being awkward or having to ask for permission. I still don't know what to call us, but kissing is open for business at least.

"Ok." She sounds like a disappointed kid now, which makes me laugh. Again, cute.

"What's this?" I hadn't noticed, but the camera that's been hanging from my neck is nestled in between us. How did I miss that?

"Oh. A camera."

"Really? I hadn't noticed that, I thought it was a car or something." She rolls her eyes while she examines it. I remove it and hand it to her.

"Well, when I was studying design back in New York, one of the classes I took, was photography. It was mainly because I was attracted to colors and shapes and I liked watching the world around me. It's easier to take pictures sometimes instead of drawing, mostly because there are too many images and too little time.

"I liked the class so much that I ended up taking other ones. This 80's 35 mm camera was one of the ones I had back then. I like digital ones, I can take hundreds of photos with them, but there is nothing like a good old fashioned camera. The heavier weight in my hands, even the larger size of it. It's also more exciting not seeing what the final product looks like until you develop the film, hell, even the developing process can be an experience in itself."

For a time, I even had a small darkroom to develop my own photos in my apartment, but had to dismantle it when Renata moved in.

"I liked that those photos were not perfect. Sometimes they were too dark or overexposed, disturbing the image, but they were perfect in their imperfection. Unique."

When I look back at Bella, she's just staring at the camera in her hands. She looks at it reverently, almost as if she is afraid she might break it.

"Then it's perfect."

I actually never told this to anyone. My family knew about my love for photography, but they thought it was just a phase. Renata, on the other hand, didn't care for it.

I don't take photos often now and just direct my efforts into designing, but lately the urge to go back to do things that I loved in the past is stronger. And the woman in front of me is the one to blame, or to thank.

"So, we are going somewhere worthy of taking photos? Should I bring my camera?"

"If you want to. One of the downsides of my camera is the limited amount of photos I can take." She looks like a bouncing kid when she sprints to get her digital camera. This day might turn out better than I thought.

"Come on, let's go."

Once again we head to _Charles de Gaulle – Étoile_ _Métro _station, only this time the trip will be longer.

"You are really not telling me where we are going?" She pouts and I can see that women pouting is my kryptonite. Rose, Marie and Bella.

"Nope." Must not look directly at the pout. Must not look directly at the pout.

"I gave _you _an estimate." She grumbles, but she's smiling so I know she's not mad.

After a while, we arrive at _Gare d'Austerlitz_ _Métro_ station, a little south of Paris. The city looks so bright and I know the limited amount of photos I might take will be great.

We walk down _Boulevard de l'Hôpital_ in the direction of the Seine, until we turn left, reaching _Place Valhubert_. The view is spectacular and when Bella lets out a small gasp, I know coming here was a good choice.

"What's this?" She's taking everything in, and we haven't even entered yet.

"This, _Mademoiselle_ Swan, is _Jardin des Plantes_. I take it you've never been here before?"

"Not at all, I know there are a lot of gardens here in Paris, but I've never been here."

"Glad I could bring you then. Come on." We hold hands and step through the large iron gates that greet visitors at this entrance. It gives the best view of the gardens.

We are greeted by a large statue of _Jean-Baptiste de Monet de Lamarck_, the father of evolution and behind it, the view of the gardens is just too much not to use my camera.

"I haven't been here in a while. Last time, I brought Marie and she had me running all over, I didn't have the time to really take in the place." I tell her while I take the photo. I hear her taking some as well.

"What do you wanna visit first?" I'm checking out the map of the gardens but I have no idea what she might want to see. When I hear her giggle, I look up.

"What?"

"You, us. We look like tourists with our cameras and maps. We only need some funny hats or loud flowery Hawaiian shirts."

She looks so pretty there with her skin glowing and her smile. Even with sunglasses I can tell her eyes are shining as well.

"You're right, we'll pass the gift shop on our way out then. Let's be really touristy."

We take a walk down the garden in the center and just relish in the sights around us and the way the sunlight makes everything looks so bright. Brighter greens and browns and blues. The gardens are amazing and this gives me the idea of taking her to see _Bois de Vincennes_one day. She'll love that.

"Ok, according to the map, to the left we have _Galeries d'Anatomie Comparée et de Paléontologie_ and to the right _Jardin écologique_. Where do you want to go?"

"The garden."

We spend some time there on a guided tour and the place is just gorgeous. The plants, the smell of wet soil, everything draws you in. Even our surroundings are attracted to Bella here. Butterflies are landing on her arms and even on her shorts.

"I think it's the colors of the shorts and the scent of my sun block." She's giggling and trying not to disturb them. I immediately take pictures of that.

"I can't believe I've never been here before."

"Well, you can scratch it off your list now. If you let me, I'll show you the sights that I've learned to love about this city." The prospect of spending time with her all over Paris is incredibly appealing. I'll show her the Paris I know, and I'll gladly let her show me the one she knows.

"I'd love that." Her smile is soft and sincere, her expression even a little excited.

We continue to walk in the center section. Trees and flowers and grass lining up the walkway. It's a nice day for a walk.

"Thank you for telling me to wear something comfortable, I'd be dying in a few hours." I'm glad as well, but mostly because she chose to wear shorts.

"You're welcome, although I wouldn't mind carrying you if you couldn't walk. But only a few steps, I'm kinda old."

"Old?, you're only a few years older than me, Edward. And thank you very much but I can take care of myself." I know that's true and she's been doing a great job so far. Still, I feel like helping her carry any burden.

"I know."

While we walk, we don't talk that much, just pointing at something that catches our eye or taking a picture here and there. It doesn't feel like we should hurry up to see everything today, we know we can come back at another day. Right now is more about spending time together and discovering new things than seeing everything there is to see.

I have no idea how long we've been walking but soon enough, we're at the end of the garden, facing the _Grande Galerie de l'Évolution_. This is actually one of the places I wanted to show her.

"Wow, that's a beautiful building." She takes pictures like crazy.

"Wait until you see the inside of it."

This Gallery is incredible, from the outside it's an 1899 building, but on the inside and after restorations, there are four open floors lined with glass and wooden cabinets on the sides. In more detail, you can see intricate brass railings around each floor. The downside is that it is very dimly lit, but somehow everything fits.

It truly is an incredible work of art and architecture.

On the first level there is a display of taxidermied animals lined up like they're traveling through the center of the room, very much like a Noah's Ark procession; when you look up to the rest of the open floors, you can see the entire structure looking down on you,

"The first time I brought Marie here she went nuts with it, asking a million questions a minute. I barely had time to breathe."

She asked Rose for a giraffe when we got home. Rose was not happy with me.

"I bet, I'm 25 and even I want to run around the place. It's the building that strikes me the most though."

"Right? I like the combination of materials, the old and modern feel of it. It actually inspired my fall-winter collection a few years ago."

"I always wondered about that one. I thought the mix was perfect."

"Thanks." It makes me smile that she liked my work, even before knowing me. It's like she found something in me worth her attention even when I was a mess.

We take some silly pictures with the animals and Bella blushes every time. She's shy when I tell her to pose but she does anyway, humoring me.

"Maybe I could bring Aimée here or tell Alice to do so, the little one is very energetic most of the time."

"I noticed that." Maybe Aimée and Marie could get along?

We leave the Gallery and walk to the other side, close to the zoo. We continue strolling around more gardens and heading towards the _Grandes Serres du Jardin des Plantes_: the greenhouses.

"It's hot as hell in here." I complain.

"Well ... duh, Captain Obvious." Her face makes me laugh so hard, even people around us take notice. For some reason, I don't mind Bella pointing out my stupidity.

"Well said, _Mademoiselle _Swan, well said."

Even with the heat, our surroundings are beautiful. The smell of grass and flowery scents fill the air; the heavy humidity around us gives the impression of actually being in a tropical jungle at certain points.

When we reach hidden corners, I take Bella in my arms and kiss her. Sometimes it is soft, others sweet, but most of the time it is deep and breathless, leaving us to need a moment to collect ourselves. Each time, Bella slaps my chest and calls me a tease.

I truly can't be sorry about that.

When we finally get out of there, we're sweaty and I'd like to think is because of the kissing more than the greenhouse. The air outside is still hot so we barely get any relief.

"Want to take a break from the walking?" I ask her and in the outside gardens, I spot an area under some trees where we can sit.

"That would be great, actually. But I don't see a bench or anything like that."

"We can sit on the grass by those trees." I point to the area I've been greedily looking at.

"I don't think you can sit on the grass, Edward." She looks so worried about it.

"What are they gonna do? Take us to jail?" She doesn't look less worried. "There are less and less people around here, no one will see us. If they do, we'll make a run for it." I wink and she relaxes, following me.

We lay there on our backs, staring at the sky. The shade from the trees gives us some calm from the heat. Everything feels so serene.

I prop myself on my left arm and stare down at Bella. She took off her sunglasses and I notice that her eyes are closed, she has a small smile in her face. Had it not being for that, I would've thought she was sleeping; her breathing is slow and steady.

I take more notice of the way she looks today and out here under the sun, just like earlier, she's almost ... luminous. There are small drops of sweat in her face, strands of damp hair stuck to her temples and that pretty smile of hers that disarms me every time.

I let my eyes wander down to the rest of her. Her elegant neck and the beat of her pulse I can see there; her perfect breasts moving in sync with her breathing, the sight makes me want to run my hands on the skin beneath her clothes and feel the weight of them in my palms; how a little bit of her top rode up and I can see a patch of her skin.

It's her tiny shorts that barely hide anything that drive me crazy though. They let me see her long satiny legs, bent at her knees, and I have to physically restrain myself to not reach and run my hands along them. It only makes me want to discover the different types of softness in her body. Her neck, her breasts, her stomach, her thighs.

When I look up to her face again, her eyes are open and she's looking at me. She saw me perusing her body. Oh God. But she doesn't look scared or disgusted, she actually looks ... turned on?

From her labored breathing, I think she is. It's the confirmation I needed to make a move. Now I know she feels the same way.

"Edward."

I lean forward and kiss her. Just like in the greenhouse, this kiss is not sweet. I taste her lips, her mouth, her tongue. It feels so hot and soft, her lips molding to mine and I take soft bites of her bottom lip.

I can barely breathe as it is, but I don't give a damn at the moment. She feels so good and right against me. I feel her hands gripping my hair and she makes a small whimpering sound; in return, I take my right hand to the small of her back and bring her flush to me. Warm, fitting.

It's never been this way and all I want to do is drown in her touch and scent. Drown in Bella and never surface again.

After long minutes of us letting go and enjoying these new kind of touches and kisses, we slowly start to retreat from each other. With our foreheads close, we try to regain some control. Control that I loved losing in the first place.

"I kind of liked that." She says with her eyes closed.

"I'm glad, because I did too." I'm relieved she doesn't think I'm a pervert kissing her like this in broad daylight.

Moments later, we lean back to our former positions, our legs tangled and my hand on her hip while she runs one of hers through my hair. We've been moving closer and closer, unwilling to break contact.

"That was different." She muses.

"Bad different?" Please say no.

"Not at all. I told you I liked it."

"Good. We'll repeat it in the future then."

"You sound so business like."

"Well, then let's seal it with a kiss, shall we?" And we do, but soon we have to stop when we hear voices around the corner.

"Oh right, public place." I hear her giggle against my shirt.

Now that I know I affect her the same way she does to me, I can't keep my hands to myself at all. I need to touch her and the fact that she doesn't retreat only makes me forget any restraint I might have. I want her and she wants me. The thought is intoxicating.

"Thank you, this has been a great day so far."

"You're welcome, but it's not over yet. We can keep walking around or go some place else."

"Let's just stay here for a while."

We check the photos she took on her camera and laugh at our faces and how out of focus some are.

"I can't believe that little girl hit you in the shin." She laughs when we see the picture of said evil little girl.

"Hey, it's not funny. That hurt and it was only because I was blocking her view. Couldn't she have said please?" And her mother did nothing.

"I'm sorry, did the little girl hurt you? I'll give you double dessert after dinner."

"I'll hold you to that." I think I deserve it.

"Why did you take a picture of these flowers?" They're pretty, but Bella doesn't strike me as someone that takes nature pictures just because.

"I liked the combination of colors. It gave me an idea, so I took the photo so I wouldn't forget it later." She shrugs as if it's the most natural thing in the world. I do the same. I guess it _is_the natural thing to do when you're the kind of person who focuses on colors and shapes all around you.

"Have you ever thought about going back to finish your degree?" This is something that's been nagging me ever since she told me she left school in New York.

"I actually finished it. I just didn't go to the final ceremony, but I got my degree. Alice helped me with that, actually she insisted." She surprises me with how easily she answers me, no hesitation anymore when speaks of her life. I feel shitty that I haven't given her that same treatment.

"What about going back to New York again?" It would kill me if she did that, but it's her life and heavy kissing doesn't necessarily give me the right to voice my opinion.

"No, my life there is over now. I was there for school and then I thought maybe to stay and work. Now? I see Paris as my home and I can design anywhere I want." I'm relieved but at the same time I know she'll have to face those demons again. I just hope I'll be right there with her.

"Ok, what about designing full time then? Forming your own line or maybe working for a designer."

"Ooh, are you offering me a job?" She's teasing but the idea is not that unappealing.

"If you want to, but I don't think you'd want to work for me, I'm kind of a hard ass." Also, it would be impossible to concentrate with her in the same building, but if she wants to, I'd do it.

"You're just saying that. I saw the people you work with, you might not see it, but they respect you a lot. You should've seen their faces when you walked into a room, it wasn't fear, it was admiration."

"Really?" She nods and I consider her words. I always thought people were afraid of me, they usually turn the other way or avoid bumping into me. Could it be that they were actually intimidated by me?

That thought makes me smile a little, I don't see myself as that much of a big deal, but I understand the feeling. The first time I met Yves Saint Laurent years ago I was close to hyperventilating. On the other hand, it's kind of sad. Could I be such an ass as to not even give an encouraging word to the people who work with me? Apparently, I have been.

"Don't be sad," I fell her hand smoothing my frown. "You've been through a lot and they understand. Like I said, with everything, they still look up to you, you must be doing _something _right."

Her words remind me of what Rose said about Bella. Are people seeing something in me that I'm not?

"So what are your plans for the future?" I change the subject back to her.

"I don't know yet. I'm happy where I am at the moment, but I know I can't do it forever. I _won't_ do it forever. For a long time I thought I didn't have what it took, even when I won the grant back in New York, that maybe I had lost _it_, you know?" I nod. It's true, I often doubt myself a lot about what I do and if I'll have what it takes in the future.

"Lately? That's been changing. I can see myself doing what I've always dreamed of more and more. I can finally see a path." She looks so happy about that and I think my own grin is even bigger than hers.

Without thinking about it, I take my camera and take a picture of her. Of course she blushes.

"Sorry. But that's great, Bella, you really deserve it. Your work is incredible and I think you owe it to yourself to show it. I'll help you in any way I can. My own money, finding you sponsors if you like, advertising. I could talk to Tanya about that, she'd love to help as well. Maybe you need a bigger studio, we'd have to see about that though." My mind is already racing with ideas.

When she doesn't say anything else I turn back to her. Again, I went too far.

"You'd really do all that for me?" Her look is so incredulous, it makes me sad. How could she doubt that I'd do anything for her?

"Of course I would. Why wouldn't I?"

"Because you barely know me. No one has ever believed in me that strongly, well, outside of family and close friends." Her eyes fill with tears and a few roll down her rosy cheeks.

I dry them and bring her close to me while I lay back on my back. She rests her head on my chest and her breathing levels out once again.

"Bella, please, no more tears. From now on, just smiles and laughter. I love your laughter." She giggles against my chest.

"Oh and your giggle. I love your giggle as well." More things to add to the list.

"Now you're just being silly, but thank you." And I know her thank you is not just for my comments about her giggle.

"I meant it, all of it. Just think about it, ok? Whatever you want."

"I will."

After a while of just listening to her breathing, I notice that we truly are alone, no one's come this way ever since we heard those voices a while back. I chose the best make out place ever.

"I got a letter today." She breaks the silence.

"I got a letter from Dad this morning. He hates emailing, he prefers either calling or 'real letters' not that mumbo jumbo emails, as he calls them." I can feel her smiling at that.

"I can see what he means. It takes time and thought to write a letter, it has to be just perfect, no delete button there. You can tell the person puts a lot of thought into it."

"That's what he says. You'd get along great actually." We both stiffen for a second. Meeting the parents is a big step at the moment for us.

"No pressure or anything, please don't freak out." She sounds nervous, just like I am.

"I'm not." Even though I really am. "You just caught me off guard there."

"Ok."

"So what did he say? If you want to tell me." I need to change the subject.

"He's getting married in a few months. I already knew that, he actually asked for my opinion. But getting his letter and the invitation makes it so real."

"Are you really ok with him re-marrying?" I know how much her mother meant to her, this must be hard.

"Yeah. I mean, Mom died years ago and I know he still loves her in a way, but I want him to move on and be happy. Sue, his fiancée, is great and she really makes him happy. That's all I ask for."

"Still, must be weird seeing him with another woman." Why am I making this worse?

"It was for a time, but if you saw them, you'd know that they are meant to be together. She also lost her husband, so they bonded over that at first, but then they just clicked. It's hard to explain if you haven't met them, but yeah, I'm ok with that. It's just weird getting the invitation to your own father's wedding."

What can I say to that? She wants her father to be happy and that in turn makes _her_happy. In a world where I see women sleep their way to the top and men using them just to spite other men, knowing a girl like Bella is not only incredibly refreshing, but hopeful. Maybe not everything is shitty.

I notice that the shadows of the tree above us are stretching longer over us. They cover more of Bella's legs and I'm hating this tree because of it. The stupidity of that thought is not lost on me.

"Wanna see the rest of the gardens?"

"Sure, before it closes."

We stand up and even though is pretty clear we've been making out, what with our unruly hair and swollen lips, we hold our heads high and go back to the world.

We enter _Ménagerie du Jardin des Plantes_, aka the zoo. This part of the gardens has a different feel to it; it is full of children and noise. Nothing like our walk from earlier.

"I feel like a kid again." Bella is dragging me so we can see more. It's pretty entertaining actually, she's really acting like a kid.

"Well, if you behave, I might buy you an ice cream or something." She rolls her eyes but still nods.

"I'll hold you to that."

We wander around and see all the species, taking pictures of them and of us laughing. We even visit the petting zoo, even though I told Bella it is for small kids mostly.

"Hello, little buddy. That tickles." She looks so cute there with her hand extended towards a goat that keeps nuzzling it to find food.

Once again, without thinking, I take her picture. At this point, I can't wait to get home to develop these and see how they turned out.

North of the zoo, there's a maze, the Labyrinth, that's located on top of a small hill. It's actually a round maze and intended for kids, so there is no way of getting lost there. Of course I have go and defy nature. As is usual in my life lately, Bella is the one that ends up finding me. And as a thank you, we finish with making out at the center of it, on a high platform with a large gazebo that overlooks the maze.

"Wow, we're really going to get kicked out of here with all the making out in public." She grins against my neck and makes me really want to take her out of here.

"I guess we'll have to stop then."

"Ok then." She turns and starts walking away; I catch her a second later and hug her to me.

"Don't think about it, Bella Swan. You can't live without my lips."

"Aren't we cocky?" She snorts and her comment sparks too many thoughts that shouldn't be in my head in a public place, with kids around.

"You betcha."

We continue walking and I spot the gift shop. It actually blends in with the rest of the scenery so it urges Bella to take more pictures. I buy her stickers and silly refrigerator magnets of animals for the both of us.

"These will go right up with my Disney princesses." She's looking at the monkey magnet.

Just before stepping out of the gardens, we ask a man if he could take a picture of the both of us with the the sights at our backs. Bella brings me closer to her and circles her arm around my waist. Perfect.

"To remember this day." Bella says. As if there is any chance I'll forget it.

Two hours later we're eating big portions of ice cream as dessert, double for me as promised, on her balcony. We're checking out the photos she took.

"Thank you, Edward. I had a fun afternoon. I've been here for years and I can't believe I've never been there before."

"Well, you can check that out off your list. The first of many places we'll see."

She nods and rests her head on my shoulder, surely coming down from her sugar rush. It's nighttime now and the square is all light up, with lights on the tree tops.

I see my camera and notice that I have one photo left to end the film. I don't want to waste it on anything just to complete it.

"Hey, wanna help me finish the film?"

"Sure."

I round her shoulder with my left arm and she places her own across my chest, resting her hand on my right shoulder. With our heads pressed against each other to try to fit into the frame, I extend my arm and take the last photo of a day that I'm sure will be the first of many to come.

Who knew a day in the gardens and the zoo could be like this. But most importantly, who knew being this free could actually be easy and feel so natural when I'm with her.

I didn't.

Now I can't wait to see these pictures.

* * *

><p><strong>Hehe, botanical gardens … who knew hidden corners and kisses under a tree could be this good? … Wait, we all know that ;-)<strong>

**Next chapter, Bella meets Rose and Marie. I promise. That will be … something, lol.  
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**This chapter was intentionally thought to be a filler chapter, really. I just wanted something cute and free of drama and confessions for them. An afternoon around Paris. However, as usual, things changed down the road and the 'filler' part of it flew out the window. Damn tree. A few subjects discussed here will come up again in future chapters.**

**And yes, pics this week, lol. Pics of **_**Jardin des Plantes**_** can be found on my profile, in the order they show up in the chapter. 'Cause that's how I do things.**

**And that's it, thanks for reading and I'll see ya in two more weeks.**


	10. Kisses

**Hello again, pretty ladies.**

**Hehe, glad you liked that last chapter. Just a little something sweet for them :-)**

**Thanks to my beta Songster for her help with these chapters. She's pretty.  
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**I don't own Twilight, we all know this but I have to say it anyway.  
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**Now let's meet the family ... well, Bella meeting the family, you already know them ...  
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O~o~O~LB~O~o~O

'**Kisses'**

"Stop it, you're gonna be ok." I gently rub Bella's hand trying to get her to lose the death grip she has on her bag. It finally relaxes in between mine.

"Easy for you to say."

We're on our way to Rose's house and Bella's been nervous ever since I got to her place earlier. I've tried talking to her and telling her that nothing bad will happen, but nothing seems to calm her.

I understand her, really. I'd be a mess if ever met her Dad.

"Please, you're gonna make yourself sick with nervousness. I told you Rose already likes you, she's really excited about meeting you." This calms her a bit, that is until we reach our _Métro _destination.

It's true, Rose already likes Bella solely from the little bits of information I've told her. Strangely enough, Rose was also nervous when I called her earlier to confirm the time of our arrival.

We walk hand in hand the rest of the blocks from the _Métro_station to Rose's house. Bella is still nervous and I find that the light squeezes I give her hand calm her, so of course, I keep doing that.

When we finally get to the iron gates, I stop, turn around and kiss her forehead.

"Please, Bella, calm down and remember that I'm there with you. Nothing bad will happen, it's just a relaxed afternoon with my sister and niece."

"I know, I just want to make a good impression on them." She sighs looking a little frustrated with herself.

"And you will." Giving her a little peck on her lips, I take us inside Rose's property after she buzzes us in.

"Wow, this is gorgeous." We walk to the entrance while Bella looks around.

Rose's property is surrounded by high walls, so you can only see the house when she lets you in. Opening the gates and seeing this structure in front of you always gets this kind of reaction.

"If you tell Rose that, she'll love you forever. She takes great pride in it."

Before she responds, the main door to the house opens and there stands Rose, with a welcoming smile and a relaxed stance. I know her well though, and the fact that she keeps playing with the ring on her right hand shows that she's nervous as well.

Such silly girls, these two. They've already accepted each other and they don't even know it.

What I do wonder is why _I'm_ not nervous? I was a wreck a few days ago.

I feel Bella freeze for a second at my side and when I look at her, she has a nervous smile on her face and a firm grip on the bags she's carrying in her other hand.

I told her earlier that she didn't have to buy anything, but she waved me off. She said she was a guest at Rose's house and she was taught to always bring something. She also didn't want to tell me what the gifts were.

"Rose." I reluctantly let go of Bella's hand and give Rose and hug and a kiss to each cheek.

"I was starting to think you got cold feet."

"What do you mean? We're right on time." I check my watch and sure enough, we're actually early. When I lift my eyes to Rose's face, I understand that her words meant something else entirely.

She was worried about me backing out of this meeting altogether.

"Never again, sis." Giving her a little squeeze to her arm, I see her relaxing. So much for an easy afternoon.

"And you must be Bella." Rose turns her look to my side and takes a step forward. Bella's nervousness disappears the second Rose envelops her in a hug.

It's so weird seeing my sister like that. She looks cold most of the time to people outside of the family and it's very rare that I see her being like this to anyone other than Marie. It also makes me see, once again, just how amazing and warm she really is by giving this gesture of acceptance to Bella.

"Yes, I am. Nice meeting you." Bella looks shocked for a second, but then hugs Rose back and her smile shows she appreciates Rose's move.

"Thank you." That's all Rose whispers over and over.

I feel a lump in my throat at her words. She's put up with so much because of me. She often says it's to repay me for the time I helped her, but if that's the case, she long ago returned the favor. I don't see it that way though, I did what I did because she's my sister and Marie is my niece, it wasn't even a question about me helping them. It was something that I did and I'd do again given the case.

Seeing her hug Bella like this shows just how lonely she's been all these years. Sure, she loves Marie and, God knows, the little one can fill her time. I know she has lunches with Tanya every once in a while, but I don't know how much she confides in her. Does my sister even have a best friend? A confidant of sorts aside from me?

When Rose steps back, I notice her unshed tears while she appraises Bella. Bella is no better. This is turning out to be a cry fest and they've only hugged.

"Let's go inside." She barely manages to say before linking arms with Bella and heading inside, leaving me to close the doors behind us.

This time, I don't mind being left standing there alone.

I follow their voices to the kitchen where Bella sits at the table and Rose takes what appear to be cinnamon rolls out of the oven. Dammit, these women in my life and their pastries.

"You have a lovely home, Rosalie."

"Thanks, but call me Rose. You didn't mind me calling you Bella earlier, right? Your name is Isabella, I presume?"

"Yes, it is. And I don't mind at all; I like the way Bella sounds much better." When she says that last part she's looking right at me with pink cheeks.

Oh, I like how her name easily rolls off of my tongue and, by the looks of it, she likes it too. Interesting.

Rose is oblivious to our little exchange and goes around preparing frosting and other sorts of things I have no idea about. Bella even offers her help but Rose declines, saying that she's a guest.

In reality, I think is more than that. True, Rose loves to bake so it's not a task at all, but it also gives her time to gather her thoughts and ease the nervous shake of her hands I can still notice. Why is she still so nervous?

I sit by Bella's side and we watch Rose busy herself around the kitchen, frequently checking Marie's monitors.

"Where is Marie?" Usually, she's met me by the doors.

"Upstairs in her playroom. With all the jumping and dancing, she was making me anxious around the oven." She checks the monitor again. "And she seems to have forgotten about us at the moment. She's having a tea party with her dolls."

The short span of time Marie can focus on something is both endearing and frustrating. It makes for some long piano lessons.

"Oh, I almost forgot." Bella reaches for one of the bags at her feet and extends it to Rose. "I brought you something. Thank you for having me over."

"You didn't have to, but I'll take it anyway." Wow, Mom would be so proud.

"Hope you like it."

Rose looks like a kid opening the small bag and digging for her present among all that tissue paper. She's always been like this, really excited about surprises. It made for some interesting Christmas times. That's also the reason why all of her books have some big twist or surprising character; she likes it when the readers don't know what's coming.

Inside the bag there is a small rectangular box. I look at Bella stupidly, thinking she'll tell me what she brought in the next two seconds before Rose opens her gift. Bella just shrugs at me and turns her eyes to Rose, awaiting her reaction.

When Rose opens the box, she just stands there, staring at whatever is inside the box. Unfortunately I can't see it.

"Bella, this is beautiful." Rose takes what seems to be a key attached to a silver chain out of the box.

"The pendant is inspired by an armory key. You see the two lions in the center holding the Earth?" Rose nods. "They're supposed to represent valor and courage. At least that's what I was told."

Rose comes to sit with us and I'm finally able to see the key pendant.

"When I saw it, it reminded me of the key you display in your books. I also remembered an interview they did with you about the books one time. I can't remember what the question was, but I always got the feeling that the key held more meaning than what you had explained."

I look at Bella in absolute awe. She got that from an interview from a few years ago and even picked up on something that nobody knows outside of the family.

All Rose does is stare at the key, I know she heard Bella's words otherwise she wouldn't be acting this way.

"I'm sorry, maybe I'm totally off here." Bella tries to apologize for apparently being the cause of Rose's silence.

"When I started writing the series, I just wanted a way to let everything go. It was later on, that I saw it could be so much more than that." Rose starts without taking her eyes off of the pendant.

"A lot of what I went through shows in the books, of course in a different way, but you can see it in certain actions and characters. There's always a woman who comes to talk to me when I'm on a book tour and she shares her experience and tells me how she related to a certain scene. It's a children's book, but I guess it's more obvious to people that went through something similar."

I remember her first book signing. Two women went and talked to Rose about how they escaped an abusive relationship. Rose cried the entire night back in her hotel room; I talked to her through it all.

"Some things are more obvious than others, but here and there certain objects have more meaning than what I reveal in the book. The key Peter carries is one of them.

"It not only opens new worlds and takes Peter on these amazing adventures, but a key also locks doors. It gives you security. That's what the key means to me."

I turn to Bella and all of her attention is on what Rose is telling her. Nothing fake, she really does care.

"I wrote the key into the story the day Royce was sentenced to jail. I could finally close that chapter and move on with my daughter from then on and a key seemed to fit that idea. I was able to close that door and, after a long time, I could finally feel safe."

She stayed up all night writing that day. When I saw her in the morning, tired and all, she looked even more beautiful than ever.

"You're the first person to ever notice something different in it." She finally lifts her eyes and they fix on Bella. This time, it's Rose who looks at Bella in awe and something else I'm not sure of. Hope maybe?

Bella stretches her hand and holds one of Rose's.

"So you liked it?"

This breaks the moment and Rose laughs so hard, I'm startled for a second but it's so contagious Bella and I can't help to join her.

"Yeah, I like it. Thank you. Baking you rolls seems so insignificant now."

"What? Sugar is the best gift." Bella teases.

They keep talking like that and I just watch them, probably with another stupid smile on my face. They are getting along so great, Rose might actually trade me for her. Not that I'd blame her. It's incredible just how much Bella can read make them feel comfortable.

A while later, Rose sends us to the living room while she finishes in the kitchen.

"This place is really incredible. Your niece must have a great time here."

"Rose does spoil her too much." She cocks her eyebrow at me. "Yeah, and I do too."

Her eyes take everything in until they stop at a spot the far end of the room. I know what she's looking at. The piano.

"Your sister plays?" I lead her that way and I notice her fingers moving to her sides, like she's playing a tune she can't stop.

"Yes, she's great at it. Me? Not so much. I took lessons, but stopped after a few weeks. The teacher said I didn't have the discipline for it." I huff. Discipline, he should see me now.

"How dare he?" Bella mocks and I still see she's itching to play something.

"What about your niece?"

"She started a few months ago, Rose is teaching her. I don't know how she does it, Marie gets distracted easily."

"It doesn't help that her uncle distracts her with silly faces when she plays," Rose interrupts.

We both turn and see Rose enter the room, carrying some tea and rolls toward the coffee table.

"That was one time, Rose." Not really, but still.

"One time that I've caught you. Marie talks about her uncle's silly faces all the time." She wants to appear stern about it, but her smile negates it.

I huff again and Bella laughs loudly this time. I love hearing her laugh and to know that I was responsible for it makes it even better. Because I can't resist it, I lean forward and kiss those pretty lips and take that laugh into me.

We break the kiss when we hear quick steps running down the stairs. I was wondering when Marie would make her appearance. But as soon as she sees us, she stops and hides behind Rose.

She's never done that before. Marie is really friendly and has no problem with talking to people we introduce to her, she actually loves attention.

"_Mon soleil_." I move to give her my usual kisses, but she never takes her eyes off of Bella, studying her almost.

Rose gives me a questioning look and when I pick Marie up, she recovers her usual playfulness for a moment and giggles at my kisses. That all stops when I turn to introduce Bella to her.

"Marie, this is my friend Bella."

"Nice meeting you, Marie." Bella extends her hand for Marie to take, which she does but never takes her face from the crook of my neck.

"Hello." She sounds so small like that.

Bella looks a little worried, but she's still smiling and looking friendly.

Marie wriggles her way out of my arms and goes to take some rolls from the coffee table, ignoring us, just humming a little tune.

Rose shrugs, completely at a loss just as I am. When I turn to Bella, she has a little smile on her lips while she stares at Marie.

"That's a pretty tune you're humming there. I think I recognize it," she says to Marie and then looks at Rose, tilting her head toward the piano. Rose nods and we all wait to see what Bella has in mind while she steps towards it.

"I think this is one?" She asks once she sits in front of the piano, fingering the keys effortlessly.

When I hear a little gasp I turn to Marie and see that she's only focused on Bella, her eyes wide with amazement. Then, she slowly gets up from the couch and walks to the piano.

Bella keeps playing and humming the tune, a smile on her face. She knows Marie is close and moves a little to give her space to sit next to her.

Marie follows Bella's hands back and forth and I see that her own little fingers are trying to mimic Bella's movements. They both hum the tune and that, along with the notes, are the only sounds in the room. I don't think I'm even breathing.

"You know." Bella says and from the corner of her eyes she looks in my direction. "This can be played as a duet."

"A do-it?"

"A _duet_, you know, when two people play together. You've never played a duet?" Bella asks her like she's really surprised by this. Marie shakes her head.

"Well, let's remedy that. Here, you play these notes." She shows Marie, who eagerly follows her. She looks kind of relieved that she gets to play now.

"Ok, don't stop that, ok? I'm gonna play these." Taking her place a little farther from Marie, she plays the other notes.

Just like she said, they are playing a duet, always in sync with each other's notes. I don't know whether to laugh or to cry at the emotions I feel seeing them like that. They both have their brows furrowed in concentration, but their smiles are simply blinding. They are humming and even slowly swaying along as they play.

I can't believe it, with simple actions Bella won Marie over. This mean so much to me, I don't know what I would've done if Marie didn't warm up to Bella. I could never choose between the two of them and now I'm glad I'll never have to.

After they finish, Marie has the biggest smile and looks so proud.

"Did you see, Mommy? I played a do-it."

"I heard, baby. That was beautiful."

"And you, uncle? Did you hear?" She's so excited, she practically runs to where I am. I pick her up and give her little kisses.

"I did, _mon soleil_, that was incredible. You're getting really good."

She's so jumpy that she can't even stay put for another second, opting to get free from my arms and skip to where Rose is.

While I see them chat and leave for the kitchen, I feel two warm arms encircling me from behind. Warmth. I never get tired of it.

"Did you like that?" I hear her muffled voice against my shirt.

I turn around and hug her back. Just like that, with her in arms, I have no idea what she's talking about. I truly forget everything around me and I can only feel her pressed against me with her soft curls tickling my nose.

"I think you missed a few notes." I tease against her neck. The vibrations of her soft laugh leave a tingly feeling on my lips.

"Look who's talking. The man with no discipline."

"He didn't know what he was talking about."

I let my lips trail kisses from her neck to her cheek to her jaw and finally stop at her full lips. I'm truly addicted to those lips. Full, pouty, soft. I just kiss them, nibble them, suck them.

Fuck. Inappropriate thinking with my niece a few feet away.

"Thank you." I pant after I foolishly step away.

"Um, you're welcome? You don't have to thank me for kissing you. I like your kisses." She never takes her eyes away from my lips.

Oh, she likes my kisses.

"Not about that and thank you by the way, I like your kisses too." I wink at her. " I meant thank you for what you did with Marie. I don't know why she acted that way earlier, but thank you for including her."

"You don't have to thank me, Edward. It was really my pleasure. And really, for a guy who works with details, you're kinda blind."

"What do you mean?"

"When she saw us she was staring at out linked hands. I think that's what made her act that way. She was jealous that she had to share you with someone else."

Marie, jealous? I mean, with my Dad, we are the only men in her life. I suppose that seeing me with someone else could be a little upsetting. She barely remembers Renata; she wasn't even two years old, and I've never brought another woman here.

How did I not consider this? I figured she'd be excited to meet Bella, just as I am with her, but I never thought she'd see her as a ... threat? I come to visit to play with her, now her Mom and uncle have to share their time between her and Bella.

I'm an idiot. An idiot who doesn't know anything about women, not even four year old ones.

"I can't believe this." I groan and bury my head in Bella's neck. As usual, her warmth and her scent calm me.

"Don't blame yourself. There was no way you could've known this. Did you even tell her you'd be bringing a friend over?"

"Fuck, no. I'm such an idiot." I should've said something. I just figured that it was like any other time I visited. Obviously it wasn't.

I feel Bella's hand at the back of my neck and that makes me relax even more.

"Again, don't blame yourself. Everything worked out fine. Let's enjoy the rest of the afternoon, ok?"

Just then, Rose and Marie are back, with Marie carrying her lesson book.

We spend the next hour eating, talking and listening to Bella and Marie play occasionally. Marie never leaves her side again.

I know the feeling.

O~o~O~LB~O~o~O

"Looks like you need to do some yoga." Bella giggles.

"Very funny. I'm tall and this place is not made for me." I think I'm inadvertently doing yoga poses from the way I'm sitting here.

"This place is so cute. I can't believe your sister had this made for Marie."

We're sitting here inside Marie's cabin while she takes her nap. She was so excited about Bella's gift earlier. It turned out that she brought Marie a small crystal jewelry box; one we saw when we went to the market. It was perfect actually, now Marie could put the things I bought her there as well. She felt like a princess and Rose had to pry them off her hands before bed.

With Rose's permission, I gave Bella a tour of the house while she put Marie to bed and now we're here, sitting on the floor across from each other, with her legs on my lap. I'm pretty sure I'm tainting this innocent place with the thoughts I'm having of her.

"Yeah, they both love it. Rose comes here and writes sometimes. I think I'm the only one who doesn't fit and have to sit on the floor. I think Rose did that on purpose." She always rolls her eyes and says nothing when I tease her with this. I'm pretty sure I'm right.

"Well, it's great. I'd never leave if I were them." Her eyes glint when she looks at me and slowly makes her way to me. She's been sitting across from me for too long.

I see her debate for a second about where to sit, but then I take her hand and nudge her to me and she ends up sitting on my lap.

It's so weird sometimes thinking about my time with Bella. We are slowly taking small steps forward in our physical relationship. Our bodies taking these bold steps and even with the apprehension I feel sometimes, the moment we touch, everything just clicks and we can't stop the connection.

"Well, let's not leave then."

And we kiss and we touch and little breathy noises fill the small space. Some of them tell me that she's hungry for more contact, others are like contented sighs that make her relax in my arms. They all drive me crazy.

I like to discover the different sounds she makes when I kiss different parts of her as well: her neck, her jaw, the back of her ear. My favorite places are the ones that make her throw her head back and her mouth form a pouty 'o'. And there are still so many more to find.

I'm no better either. I have no idea how I'm able to maintain some kind of control with her on my lap. The fact that our hands roam freely doesn't help either.

When we break for air, her lips are red and swollen and her cheeks flushed. I'm probably the same.

"Best place ever. I'll have to thank your sister."

"Don't. She'll never stop the teasing."

We just stay like that for a few moments, sitting on the floor with Bella on my lap. The smell of the grass and the flowers that surround the cabin, now enters through the windows, or perhaps it was always there but I was too focused on Bella.

"Uncle Ed!" Marie calls.

"I guess our time is up." Didn't Marie _just_ go to take her nap?

"Yep, but we'll have more." I like that promise.

We extricate ourselves from the cabin and just in time, Marie appears in front of us.

"Were you playing without me?"

Bella giggles and I squirm. Fantastic.

"Um, Bella wanted to see your cabin."

"It's very pretty, Marie. Thank you for letting me in."

We walk out of the tiny forest and head towards Rose, who's sitting in the backyard just watching us. From the look she's giving us, she knows what happened in the cabin. Great.

"Nice of you to join us again. I was sure Bella would never leave that forest." She smirks.

"Rose." I groan.

"Yeah, whatever. Come here, Bella. Let's have a girls' talk without Edward. I have plenty of stories for you."

I look at Bella to see if she's comfortable with staying with Rose. It's stupid really, but I still worry.

"It's ok, Edward. Go play with your niece while I talk to Rose." Giving me a light touch to my arm, she sits with Rose.

"Uncle Ed!"

"No funny stories, you hear me?" I try to look serious at Rose and I hope I manage, because she does know stories about me.

"Ok, ok."

I sit with Marie on the other side of the yard and have a tea party with her. Thank God, she doesn't make wear a fancy hat this time.

From time to time, I see in the direction of Bella and Rose and I find them laughing or deep in conversation. At one point they have their arms linked and I see Bella wipe a few tears. I think I know what is happening. Rose is opening up to her. It fills me with pride to see her talking to someone else about her life, not just about what happened years ago, but about anything.

It was a big surprise earlier when she talked about the key; she's never opened up like that before. It just goes to show the effect Bella has on people.

"Uncle Ed? Are you gonna marry Bella?" I choke on my cookie.

"What? I just ... Bella ... " I have no idea what to say to a four year old. I have no idea what to tell _myself_for that matter.

"Is she your girlfriend?" What's with the questions?

"Um, well. She is a friend and a girl and she's very special."

Marie eyes me trying to make sense of my words; she then shrugs and goes back to playing.

I sigh in relief but her words make me consider what kind of relationship Bella and I are in. Girlfriend sounds so simple, she means so much more than that. There is an attraction between us, we've touched, we've kissed, we've yet to open up completely, but isn't that what dating is all about? Getting to know each other?

Dating? I guess we _are_ dating, really. I just haven't officially called them as such. And if these thoughts aren't enough to prove it, I'm glad I haven't called them dates. I would've freaked out already. Big time.

So yes, Bella and I are dating.

I groan. This should be easier, I'm a 28 year old man for crying out loud.

"Hey you guys. Whatcha doin'?" I turn and Bella is right there by my side.

She looks gorgeous with the light of the sun shining on her hair and a new glint in her eyes. She looks like she has a secret she can't wait to share.

"Here, playing and stuff."

She sits with us and we play and pretend for a while. Bella makes funny voices and Marie tells her stories about her toys. All the while, we're always in contact: holding our hands, touching our legs, bumping our knees.

I can tell Marie's getting bored again. It works well actually, I think I need some adult conversation for a while.

She runs to the kitchen and I watch her from here.

"You're great with her. You'd really do anything for her, wouldn't you?"

"Of course I would." I don't even have to think about the answer.

"You're beautiful, you know that, right?"

Her words surprise me. I turn in her direction and she's _really_ staring at me, and not asking, just stating it. I know she's not talking about my looks. Beautiful, I've never heard that one before.

"_You_are the beautiful one. It means a lot that you came here to meet my sister and niece. Thanks, Bella." And the fact that they love her is more than words can express.

"I could say the same to you. Thanks for introducing us." I get closer to her and kiss her softly on her lips. She doesn't have to thank me, but if I tell her that, we'll be here all afternoon debating who thanks who.

We spend the next hour talking and teasing with Rose. Once again, Marie never leaves Bella's side, following her like a shadow and often asking for her opinion on little things.

Rose notices that as well and sends smug smiles my way. She knew I had been worrying over nothing all week and this entire afternoon is the proof of that.

"She's great Edward, even better than I thought." She tells me as we watch Marie tell Bella a story about a mean little kid in the playground. Who the hell is this kid?

"I know. I can't believe that she's with me sometimes." With me, she chose _me_.

"Stop it." She smacks my arm. "And don't ruin it or I'll kick your ass and keep her."

"Geez, thanks." I laugh and the sound makes Bella look my way.

I can't say I blame Rose for wanting her in her life as well.

Thirty minutes later and just before leaving, Rose hands Bella an advanced release autographed copy of her next book.

"This is too much, Rose. I can't take it."

"Don't worry about it. Thank you for coming today." They hug and Rose says something in her ear. I look the other way; I don't want to intrude in the bond they seem to be creating.

"You're leaving?" Marie asks from the doorway. I know she wants us to stay and keep playing with her, even though she can barely keep her eyes open as it is.

"Yes, _mon soleil_, we have to go. But we'll come back soon to play with you. I promise." Any other day, this would barely appease her, but now she's so sleepy she only nods.

"It was a pleasure meeting you, Marie. I hope we can play the piano another time." Bella crouches next to me and takes Marie's hand.

"Ok. Thanks, Auntie Bella." She yawns and Rose takes her in her arms.

I'm shocked by her words. Auntie Bella? I look at Rose and Bella and they are both mirroring my expression. Marie is completely oblivious to her words. This is the reason why I hadn't been nervous when we arrived earlier today; deep down, I know Bella fits in my life, just the way I do in hers. A second later, I can't hold my relieved laughter.

I can't screw this up.

We say our goodbyes and leisurely head back to Bella's place. It was the happiest _Métro_ride I had ever taken.

"So, that went ok." I'm standing at Bella's door, kissing her goodbye. Oh… her lips.

I hum, I don't want my lips to leave her skin. I continue down her neck.

"So, I'm a girl who's your friend?" She murmurs in between kisses.

I stop.

"What?" Oh God, she heard our talk. "Um ... you see, Marie was asking and-" I try to retreat.

"Edward, I can't say I haven't thought about it as well." She buries her face in my shirt. I can feel more than see her blush.

"Really? So, what do you think? Is that what we are? Boyfriend and girlfriend?" I can't believe I sound more and more like a teenager. I thought we got past this stage.

"I don't know." She still doesn't look up.

"Hey, look at me please." I softly lift her face to meet mine. I want to know how she sees us and maybe make sense as to what I feel as well.

"I really like you, Bella. I know there is a lot we don't know about each other but I'm trying here and even when half the time I don't know what I'm doing, the only thing I'm sure about is you." I kiss her forehead and hope she believes me.

"And I like you too, Edward. You're right, we don't know everything about each other, but I want to find out more about you and I want to tell you about me."

My smile is just impossibly big.

"Ok, so boyfriend and girlfriend then?" I feel stupid just saying the words but for the moment, that works for us.

And by her smile that mimics mine, I think she feels the same.

* * *

><p><strong>Yeah, <em>it<em> has a name, lol. Silly convo but he needed to know exactly where the hell they stand. As if it wasn't obvious by now. Geez.**

**And Marie was not initially as welcoming to Bella as expected, she's never had to share her uncle with anyone before. She was around two when Edward's marriage died and she doesn't remember Renata, mostly, because she never took much interest in Edward's family (as shown when Edward shared Rose's story). So yeah, this was a little bit of a shock to Marie, lol. You'll see more of that in the future.  
><strong>

****A pic of the key pendant Bella gave Rose is up on my profile if you wanna see it.****

**Ok, next chapter... a surprising encounter.  
><strong>

**And we've reached chapter 10, my initial number for this story (pff). I started writing ch15 this week, so as things look right now, this story should be in the mid 20s neighborhood. Maybe. You know me, lol.  
><strong>

**And that's it this time. Thanks for reading and I'll see ya in two more weeks, sweeties.  
><strong>


	11. Cinémas

**Hello again, ladies.**

**Glad you liked the meeting of the family. More steps forward for Edward in making Bella part of his life.**

**Many thanks to my pretty beta Songster for her help in working with this stuff.**

**I don't own Twilight. *Shrugs***

**Now let's see what happens this week ...**

O~o~O~LB~O~o~O

'**Cinémas'**

Sundays. Up until a few weeks ago, Sunday was just a day spent away from work and family. Monday through Friday, I spend at the studio; Saturdays, I spend with Rose and Marie; Sundays? Just a day in between.

Yet today, today is quite different. For starters, I'm here sitting at my kitchen table eating a bowl of cereal for breakfast. Cereal. Me. I don't do that, at all. I haven't had cereal for God knows how long. My usual breakfast consists of coffee or omelets on weekends when I go to this café downtown.

Chocolate sugary little balls floating in milk? Not so much.

But here I am, mesmerized by the crunching sound they make in my mouth, pretty much overcoming all others in the room. I don't remember them being this loud.

I had the weirdest urge to try this again a few days ago, so when I went online to place my monthly grocery order, I added cereal. I'm pretty sure when they delivered this, the guy was questioning my sanity.

I can't say I care that much about that. These things are completely addictive. Literally.

I look out the window and keep on eating my cereal. People walk up and down the streets, leisurely strolling under the Sunday sun. I smile at that. I seem to be noticing these kinds of things more and more. Just watching them, not feeling jealous about their happiness. Simply sharing that with them.

Today I'm heading over to Bella's place to have our Sunday movie date, just as we agreed last week. Lazy days like this are turning out to be more and more appealing as weeks go by. Weeks. I can't believe it's been three weeks since I met her by the fountain.

In my head I run through the movies we could watch today; I already have a few ideas, but everything seems so simple, not that I mind. Just the image of Bella curled up by my side on the couch is more than what I imagined just a few weeks ago, but I want to make it more special.

Between mouthfuls of cereal, an idea strikes. I can't believe I haven't thought of it before. So for the next hour, I check online to see if this would work, take a shower and dress. I already told Bella last night that I'd be taking her out to lunch today, so I know she won't be making any preparations for that. I just want it to be a surprise and I can't wait to see her reaction.

At noon, I'm kissing her hello. I always miss those lips.

"Well, aren't you happy to see me."

"You have no idea," I mumble in between kisses. "Girlfriend."

I feel the vibrations of her laughter against my mouth. I'll call her that every two seconds if she keeps doing that.

"Girlfriend, uh?" I nod and I notice that even though she looks like she's gonna start teasing me, her eyes shine with something more. That light brightens her whole face; the gold in her eyes more intense, her skin slightly pink.

Beautiful.

I take a loose strand that fell from her ponytail and place it behind her left ear. I love seeing her face clean with no make-up, she doesn't need it. Her skin feels so soft and I notice her shiver a little at my touch. I want to smile and be really smug about it, but her touch has the same effect on me.

My lips graze her left cheek and start trailing faint touches up to her ear, then down to her jaw, never allowing a true kiss to her skin. I'm just breathing her in and feeling her warm breath brush against my own skin. I continue with these slow touches and then move to the other side of her face. Without even looking, I can feel her skin warming up against my lips. She's getting flustered. Much like I am.

I end the cycle on her lips once again and I think she's had enough of my non-kisses, because I feel her hands on my neck the second I reach them and then she pulls me to her, kissing me with more passion.

Knowing that she wants me like this makes me hug her tightly to me. We kiss and touch and moan and pant, all in the doorway to her apartment. I move my hands to the hem of her shirt and I almost lose it when I touch the soft skin there. The image of me kissing and discovering more of it doesn't help with my control either.

By the time we part, her lips are flushed and her hair is all tangled. I did that? I hadn't noticed that we'd been running our hands in each other's hair as well.

"Will it ever stop being this ... intense?" She asks breathlessly, our foreheads touching.

"I hope not." God, I hope not.

"So, what are the plans for today? You said you wanted to go out to have lunch, but that's it. Are we coming back here to watch movies?" She asks after a few moments. It takes me quite some time to catch my own breath, I haven't been able to talk yet.

"Actually, I was thinking about a slight change of plans. Do you mind not coming back here after lunch?" I'll change my plans if she doesn't like them.

"Not at all. And now I'm intrigued."

"Good." I kiss her and reluctantly let her go and get her things before leaving the apartment.

We walk hand in hand for a couple of blocks and when I turn us in a different direction than the _Métro_, I can feel Bella wants to say something. I want to smile at her; I know she's curious and by the way she looks around, she wants to figure out where I'm taking her. I can't really see her eyes with her sunglasses on, but I know they are curious.

"Don't fret too much, baby. All I can say is that we're walking to the restaurant." Baby. That didn't sound as awkward as I thought to say. Now that we're 'official', those kinds of endearments feel easier, natural.

"You're mean," and her smile says the contrary.

We keep walking, as usual, holding hands and walk by the people that are also out on this Sunday afternoon. I barely notice the crowds around us, something that in the past might've unnerved me, now doesn't even register.

"I had fun yesterday with Rose and Marie."

"They did as well. I called Rose this morning and she said Marie can't stop talking about you. She even wants to practice more on her piano. She wants to impress you." Rose was very happy about this, maybe finally Marie will not get distracted from her lessons.

"Really?" She laughs loudly and dammit if I don't love that sound.

"They love you, just as I told you they would. Rose already wants you back at her house. She asked me to give you her number; I wasn't sure you wanted me to give your number out just like that."

"Can we visit the cabin again?" Now I just have to laugh.

I move her sunglasses to the top of her head and hold her face with my hands, leaning in to kiss the hell out of her. How can someone make me feel this way? Happy, free, lighter. Her soft moans fill our little bubble; I'm the only one who can hear them above the noise of the people and cars. We're probably giving people a show, but I couldn't care less about it. I just want to kiss my girl.

"You are incredible, Isabella Swan. You know that, right?"

Rolling her eyes and blushing a little, she kisses me back and whispers.

"You're not so bad yourself."

I place my arms on her waist and she encircles my neck with hers. With our foreheads touching, our arms linking us and the sight of her beautiful, bright eyes, we just ... are. Shadows of the people passing by us dance around her face and paint different figures on her skin, I almost try to discern what they form, but end up finding her gaze more interesting. I pay no attention to the people around us, it's just the two of us in this crowded street.

It's not until people start bumping into us and telling us to move out of the way, in a not so friendly way, that we realize that we were actually heading somewhere for lunch.

"Oops, I think we're getting in the way of people."

"Apparently." I still don't lose my hold on her though.

"Come on, I'm getting hungry and you're the only one who knows where we're going." Adjusting her sunglasses back, she tugs at my shirt.

"Ok, ok. Let's go." I kiss her forehead and lead the way.

O~o~O~LB~O~o~O

Soon we are on _Avenue Kléber_, in front of _Hotel Le Raphaël_. They have an incredible restaurant at the top floor, a terrace that overlooks the city.

"You brought me to a hotel?"

"Yes, to the restaurant on top: _Les Jardins Plein Ciel_. I think you'll like it."

The doors to the elevator open on that floor and we walk towards the _Maitre'd_, after I give him my name, he leads us to the terrace.

From the soft gasp coming form Bella, I think she really likes it.

This restaurant is not very high above the city, only the seventh floor, but we can see it clearly for miles. On one side of the terrace, we are very close to the _Arc De Triomphe_ and we can also see the rest of the neighborhood. On the other side of it, you can see _La Tour Eiffel_ and the south of the city as well as the river. The day is sunny and the sky is clear of clouds, so the sight is especially bright, leaving us to see easily well into the south of the city.

The terrace is surrounded by low bushes in different shapes and there are some tables being flanked by them, giving them some privacy. I originally wanted one of those, but it's a bit hard to see the city like that, so I requested one with a better view of the _Arc De Triomphe_. On the other side, where you can see _La Tour Eiffel_, the feel is more like a lounge, with low tables to have a drink and relax.

I look at Bella, taking in everything around her. Her eyes are fixed on the giant chessboard to the side.

"They did it in honor of _Léonard Tauber_, founder of the Chess Club of France. I've always been tempted to play with it."

"It's just so beautiful. The view is amazing."

"I'm glad you liked it. I hope we don't burn too much out here under the sun."

After we order, we eat and talk, checking out the view from time to time.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Of course, you can ask me anything you want." I'm surprised, she looks serious.

"Has Rose dated ever since what happened to her?"

I put my fork down and lean back into my chair. I'm surprised that Rose confided in her this fast, but Bella is so easy to talk to, so maybe things just happened. I do have to think about her question for a second.

"Edward, I'm so-"

"Don't be, it's okay. No, she hasn't. She can't really, I know she wants to, but it's like her body freezes when a man comes near her. She's been in therapy for years, but that has been the one thing she can't get past. Maybe when she finds someone she fits with, her body will let her get close." I hope so, she has so much to give still.

"I can understand that." She looks lost in her thoughts. "And you're right, when the time comes, she'll know." The way she says it shows that she knows what she's talking about. I want to ask her more about it, I hate seeing her this sad, but I don't want to push. God knows she's been patient with me so far.

I move forward and take her hand. With a small nod, she understands that I'll wait for her.

We keep talking and eating and even though we're pretty stuffed, when dessert gets here we all but jump on it. There is _always _room for dessert, no matter what.

There's an old couple near our table, whispering and giggling. The waiters bring some cake and it looks like they are celebrating their fiftieth anniversary. I smile at them and think about how it would be to get that far in your marriage. Fifty years? That's a lot of fights and routine, but also many happy moments. Children, family holidays, grandchildren.

I've always wanted that, something similar to what my parents have. I thought Renata wanted it as well, but I was too blind to see that she never would, with me at least.

"They look happy." Her voice interrupts my thoughts and when I look back at her, she's seeing the same image that I am.

"That's how I've always pictured my parents looking celebrating their anniversary." Even though she's smiling, it doesn't reach her eyes.

I don't know what to say to that. Of course they won't have that anymore. I don't know how I'd feel if one of my parents died, leaving the other one alone.

"Sorry. Lately I've been thinking a lot about it, considering my Dad will be getting married in a few months."

"Bella-"

"It's ok. I'm happy for him; I'm just sad for what could've happened with Mom, that's all."

"Tell me about them."

"My parents?" She finally gives me a real smile and looks happy to talk about them. I nod.

"Well, my Dad is a lawyer. We used to live in Forks, a few hours from Seattle, and he had a small office in Port Angeles. Another town near it. Mom stayed home and worked with her designs and stuff. Everyone came to our house for her creations, even from Port Angeles." She looks so proud.

"After Mom got really sick, we moved to Seattle for a while, for her treatment. We thought after she got better, perhaps we could go back to Forks. That never happened."

She looks back to the old couple.

"We buried her in Forks though. She always loved it there, the green, the air. She loved the rain. I haven't been back since coming here, but every year on her birthday, Dad and I talk for hours about her and remember those good days. We use Skype of all things. My Dad, skyping!" She laughs.

"I know she'd be happy about him getting married again. That was the thing about her, she wanted people around her to be happy." Much like she was. "We'll never forget her and she'd be pissed about him not moving on." She looks back at me once again, shaking her head.

"Dad lives in Seattle now, has a new office there and Sue, the woman he's marrying, is his partner there."

"What does he think of you living here? So far away?"

"He doesn't love it, but understands it's what I needed at the time. I think of Paris as home more and more now. I can't see myself moving back permanently."

That makes me feel relieved. She won't move even when I know that as a designer, we can really work wherever we want.

"I've lived here for so many years that I don't see myself going anywhere else either. I used to visit some relatives in Chicago, but that's it. I'd always come home." I smile, of course those visits used to last almost a month. We are a big family. I miss them.

We finish our dessert in silence and after I pay the bill, I lead her to the other side of the terrace, so we can see _La Tour Eiffel_.

I stand behind her, my arms caging her to the low wall surrounding it. I love that she leans back and gives a contented sigh. I hope I give her the peace that she does to me.

I rest my chin on her shoulder and then we watch the city below us. Cars moving, people walking. It's a perfect day to spend it outside. But with her close to me, I get distracted... with her body. I slowly start tracing my mouth down the side of her neck. I have to keep in mind that we are in a public place, so this is as far as I'll go. For now.

Her breaths get faster and I can see that I'm getting to her. She turns her head to look at me and just before kissing me, she exhales softly close to my mouth. Lemon and mint from our dessert washes over me.

She kisses me this time: her lips soft and her pace slow. The sun warming our skins, but like this, the warming sensation also starts from the inside out. She's absolutely setting me alight and I've never felt more alive.

My right hand slowly moves to her stomach and I feel her shaking a little, just before her own joins mine. I start tracing shapes on her covered skin and she follows my movement.

"Edward." She whispers against my lips, her breath hot and sweet.

I really want to move my hand and feel her bare skin but the uttering of my name reminds me that we are in public and I reluctantly pull away.

"Are you sure you don't want to go back to my place after lunch?" She says breathlessly, kissing my neck.

My brilliant idea for the afternoon doesn't sound so brilliant anymore.

"Yes," barely. "We can go back to your apartment afterwards."

"Ok." She sighs sadly as we pull away. I have to take some calming breaths before moving, but soon we are heading toward the elevator.

"Thank you for the lunch and this place. Great view, I wish I had a camera or a sketchbook." We talk on our way down to the lobby.

"We can come back whenever you want." I promise.

We walk hand in hand toward _Métro_ _Kléber _station. What used to be just a means of transportation to move around the city, turned into something that takes us to discover the city together. I don't really care that the cars are crowded; it only allows me to be closer to her.

We just stare at each other all the way to our destination and I often have to remind myself to check the web of stations on the map inside the car, to prevent missing our stop.

We get to _Métro Mairie des Lilas_ and I lead her to the building I hope she'll like.

"Edward." My name is a soft whisper when we reach our destination.

We are standing in front of _Le Théâtre du Garde Chasse_, the old municipal hall built in early 1900s. It was restored years ago and converted into a theater. The exterior is inspired by the _Grand Trianon_ in _Versailles_with wide stone stairs leading up to big glass doors.

"This is _Le Théâtre du Garde Chasse_. It hosts performing arts, _cinéma _and exhibitions all year long. It was restored about fifteen years ago and I think is a piece of art in itself. I checked online and it turns out that August is the month when Alfred Hitchcock was born, so they have marathons of his movies every weekend during this month. We're just in luck, being that this the last Sunday this will happen." She doesn't say anything, just stares at the building.

"I thought maybe something a little different for movie Sunday. If you don't like it, we can go back to your place and-"

"Edward, stop it. I love it."

We enter and just look around the place. It has painted frescoes, with wood paneling all around. Even with more modern decorations, the place has an old feel to it and I can tell this is a perfect place to watch old movies.

"What do you wanna see?" I ask her. I don't care which one we watch, it's her afternoon.

"Oh, let me see." We check the list of movies. "'Dial M for Murder' or 'Psycho', I can't choose. You do it." She looks excited at the list of movies, she really can't decide.

"Why not both? They are not playing at the same time." She brightens up.

"Are you sure? Wouldn't it be too much?"

"Not at all." Alone in a dark room with her doesn't sound so bad. I can hold her while watching 'Psycho'.

I buy the tickets for both movies and some candy. It's not movie Sunday without candies, even though this is only the second Sunday we are doing this. Better start a tradition now, Bella doesn't seem to mind, with all the candy she buys as well.

My kind of girl.

We go to take our seats and the room is as breathtaking as the rest of the theater; intricate designs adorn the walls and ceiling; red, comfortable chairs fill the room, chairs that are retracted depending on the events they held here.

"Look." Bella signals to the ceiling.

Up there, there is a _Belle Epoque_ canvas decorating the center of it, being flanked by painted panels on each side. There are also hidden lights to enhance their details.

"I won't be able to watch the movie in here."

"We can come back on another day, when they have dances or something else. I'll check online." I love making plans for the future with her.

The lights dim and the movie starts. We can hear the projectors at the back of the room and even when the images are a little grainy, it's all part of the appeal.

We spend the next few hours in that dark room, eating candy and getting lost in the story. As I predicted, Bella holds me closer when we watch 'Psycho', even when we all know what happens, when and how. She also keeps stealing my candy but, when I offer it to her, she declines. I don't get it.

We also make out here and there. I never knew a Hitchcock movie would elicit such a response. Then again, we _are _in a dark theater room.

I start to consider that perhaps my idea to come here was not so bad after all.

O~o~O~LB~O~o~O

"So what did you think?" I ask her while we walk to the _Métro _station. Night is closely approaching and the air is much cooler than before. I can see her eyes without the sunglasses on now.

"It was a great idea, much better than staying at my place." I might debate that thought after our kissing at the restaurant.

"Good, we can do this again anytime you want."

After getting off at _Charles de Gaulle – Etoile_, we keep on walking to Bella's place.

"Well, well, well. If it isn't the infamous Edward Cullen."

I freeze.

That voice, that disgusting voice. Memories of blood and laughing and rumpled bed sheets flood my mind. I turn and sure enough, there he is. James.

"James." I can barely stomach the word.

"Hello to you, too. I knew it was you I saw from afar. I just had to come and say hi." I just want to erase that smug smile of his. The only thing stopping me at the moment is knowing that Bella is beside me and this would be too much for her.

"And who is this lovely lady by your side?" He extends his hand to Bella. I want to rip it off, how dare he even look at her, much less touch her. But I can't do anything like that, I don't own Bella, she can shake hands with whomever she wants.

And she doesn't.

"Hello, Mr. Cross." She doesn't move an inch and if looks could kill, James would be dust by now.

His smile falters for a second, but he quickly recovers. He's not getting to her and that pisses him off. It also doesn't escape me that she didn't introduce herself to him. I sure as hell won't.

"Yes, hello. Well, I have things to tend to. You know how it is, Cullen, models demand so much attention from you these days." He's challenging me to say something. God I want to.

"I wouldn't know. Times have changed."

We stare at each other and I'm slowly losing control here.

"Edward? We need to leave now if we're getting to where we need to on time." I feel her hand on my arm, grounding me.

"If you'll excuse us, Mr. Cross, Edward is very much in demand; we need to leave."

"I'm sure he is." He doesn't look pleased at the fact that I didn't react like he wanted me to or maybe because Bella dismissed him that easily.

We quickly turn and leave him there.

Everything is a blur as we keep walking. In the back of my mind, I know we're heading to her place. She's the one leading me and I have no idea how we get there. Next thing I know, I'm sitting on her couch with her in the background. I think I heard her saying something about coffee.

James. I haven't seen the bastard in years. Not this closely at least. I only see him from afar and at functions. Flashes to two years ago plague me.

Fuck.

"Edward? Just breathe." Through the fog, I hear her voice and do as she says. That, combined with her hands on my hair, slowly calms me. Enough that I can actually take in my surroundings more clearly.

It's dark outside by now and as usual, the square is still full of people. Sounds are coming from one of the open balcony doors.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have reacted that way." I must've scared her.

"Nonsense. Standing in front of the man who your wife cheated on you with called for something much worse. It was hard for me to not kick him in the balls." She sounds so angry and the image of Bella kicking James' ass makes me smile.

"I share the sentiment. I did break his nose the time I found them in bed together." I cringe but the image of James lying on the floor, his face covered in blood, really makes me smile. It's short-lived. The actions that led to that are nothing to smile about.

And just like that, my past crosses paths with my present. I've been avoiding telling Bella what really happened back then, all this time. And just when I decide that I will open up with her, James appears and makes something that initially had no deadline, now stand in my face.

"Oh Edward, I'm so sorry. That must've been awful. And then seeing those pictures of the two of them together in every magazine and newspaper for weeks. That was just disgusting. I can barely imagine what you felt when you saw them in every newsstand."

I shake my head, in disbelief or maybe trying to clear it. I stand up and walk to the balcony doors. I can see the light from the square and the ones beyond, at the heart of the city. Beautiful, calming. Just like Bella.

How did this day go from something so perfect to this moment? This is not the idea I had in mind when I thought about bringing Bella back here.

I stare at my reflection and notice just how tired I look. I sigh and my breath leaves a fog mark on the window. Now I look blurry. Good, I don't even want to see myself when I say these next words.

It's time to say something, I only hope this is not my last day with Bella.

"It was. But the first time I saw them was not in the press." I close my eyes.

"What do you mean?"

I can't turn around to face her when I say the words. I don't think I can stand the horror and disappointment I'll see in her eyes, actually, I _know _I can't stand it.

"Bella, I-" I take a few breaths. Just say it. "I was the one who sent those pictures to the press."

* * *

><p><strong>So, um... yeah. Such a lovely date and then this has to happen.<strong>

**And a little bit about Rose. We'll find her someone special, just for her ;-)  
><strong>

**Ok, you'll find your answers about Edward in the next chapter. Sorry to cut it here, but it was the only place it made sense. I'm pretty sure you wouldn't have liked me cutting it on the next one, LOL.**

**Also, a little bit of a timeline... as you can see, I never mention exact dates for this story (I've only mentioned in passing that this is August), mostly because I never thought of a specific year for it. However, I do think in terms of months and weeks. So, here goes: this story starts with them meeting in the first Saturday of August, which makes this date happen in the last Sunday of said month, as was mentioned here. So now we're moving into September. I know, it's been a month in fic time. Never thought this would be a slow burn.  
><strong>

**As a side note, August is indeed the month when Alfred Hitchcock was born, however, there were no marathons of his movies in the **_**cinéma **_**that E took B into. So, the place is real, but with the rest, I'm taking creative license. Gotta love it, lol.**

**You can find pics of the restaurant and its incredible view and of the _cinéma_ and its beautiful frescos up on my profile. After all, it **_**was**_** a pretty date. One of my favorite chapters to write, actually ... until James, that is.**

**Next chapter... pieces that you've seen here and there will fall into place. THE talk. I promise.  
><strong>

**Thanks again for reading and I'll see ya in two more weeks.**


	12. Fogs

**Hello, pretty ladies.**

**Glad you liked the date from last time. Something pretty for them before fall comes into town and all that skin starts to get covered, much to Edward's dismay, lol. I guess I'll have to find them something to do indoors to occupy their time ;-)**

**Many, many thanks to my lovely beta Songster for her help in making these chapters pretty and work with them even when I change my mind... a lot :-) Any mistakes are mine.**

**I don't own Twilight, once again I have to say it.**

**Ok, let's hear what Edward has to say...**

O~o~O~LB~O~o~O

'**Fogs'**

_I can't turn around to face her when I say the words. I don't think I can stand the horror and disappointment I'll see in her eyes, actually, I know I can't stand it._

_"Bella, I-" I take a few breaths. Just say it. "I was the one who sent those pictures to the press."_

"What?" A gasp comes from her and I can just imagine what her face must look like.

"I was the one who sent those photos to the press. Anonymously." I repeat.

"How did-? Edward-" She's trying to process what I said. Of course I understand her reaction, I've looked at this myself from every angle over the years, and I still don't understand much of it.

I can't turn around, as if not seeing her face when I say my next words will be easier. That's a joke, no matter how I say them, they will still shock her and probably make her rethink staying with me.

"To the press, we were the perfect couple: young, talented, full of life. What could go wrong with that picture?" Renata certainly painted that picture, and for me, it was real. I didn't see anything wrong at the time.

"We married not even a year after meeting and I thought we were happy at the time. In that fog I didn't see what was really happening until much later. Looking back now it was so damn obvious, I could just kick myself for being so fucking naive."

Bella doesn't say anything, she just listens. That's for the best, really.

"It's clear now that everything was wrong from the start. She never really cared about my family and my life and, for a time, I just thought that maybe it was because she didn't know what she was missing out on, that she just had to spend more time with them and that things would be better, but in reality, she just didn't care about me.

"She cared little about what happened to Rose and Marie and that right there should've been reason enough for me to realize that we were not meant to be. How could I not have seen it? We were still newlyweds at the time so I figured that maybe it was too much, too soon for her, I don't know." I sigh, I feel so tired suddenly. "For the two years we were married, she barely talked to them, or to my parents. I was so blind to it all; she had a way of making me not see those things and just enjoy my time with her. Like a fog clouding my mind, I lived blissfully ignorant.

"I barely noticed my parents' disappointed faces or Rose's scowl every time Renata entered a room. All I could see was her, my wife.

"The only interest she had in my life, was about my work. She asked about certain designs and gave me input. I didn't think any of it. Like a fucking puppy, I craved her attention and didn't see beyond that." What an idiot.

"One night, I came home early from work. I knew she wouldn't be there because she was working at photo-shoot in London at the time. So I thought it was odd when I found some of her clothes laying on the floor. She was very picky about how to fold them so I knew she must've been home earlier and left in a rush." Sometimes I think I should've left the clothes laying around just like that.

"When I picked them up, a card fell from in between them. I noticed it was a hotel key card, for the Ritz. I started coming up with all these scenarios as to why she had one of those. Maybe it was for a photo-shoot here in Paris? Is that why she arrived early? Why didn't she tell me?" Even when it was obvious that something was wrong, I still had to find excuses for that damn key card.

"Foolishly, or maybe luckily in the end, I went to the hotel. I don't know what I expected to find. A photo-shoot in progress? A mistake that maybe it wasn't _her_ key card after all?" I sigh tiredly. "I don't know, but all the way there, I just wanted that nagging twist in my chest to go away.

"That was the longest cab ride I had ever taken. At almost every stop light, I wanted to get out of the car and go back to our place, to live in ignorance once again. To forget about the card that I was gripping for dear life in my fist." I flex my right hand and close my eyes. I can almost feel the edges of the card still pressing in my palm.

"I got there and I just couldn't enter; I physically couldn't move my feet. Like a fucking coward, I stood there on the other side of the street, watching the entrance and waiting for _what_?" A proof that I was right? Wrong? Even today, I don't know.

"I was debating whether to leave or keep on waiting for whatever I was there for when I saw her getting out of a cab, happy and laughing and ... not alone. Behind her, getting out of that same cab, was James, an arm wrapped around her waist and laughing carelessly." I couldn't believe what was happening right in front of me. My wife with the man who was my competition at the time.

"I guess I was in denial at the moment. I should've run over there, yelled, punched him, anything. But I just stood there, staring at the picture playing in front of me. They looked so intimate and just... not at all what _we_looked like. It wasn't until they kissed that I reacted, but not in the way I expected to." I run my hand through my hair. "I slowly turned around and left. I have no idea how I got home, but the next thing I knew, I was sitting on my couch, in a dark and empty living room."

I didn't have to worry about her coming home again that night; I knew she'd spend it at that hotel. How could they go like that to one of the most luxurious hotels in Paris? Were they _trying _to get caught? Was she ready to leave me? That's something that I've replayed over and over ever since. It was just too stupid the way I found out about them.

"I sat there for hours, I think, replaying our entire two years of marriage. Was it ever true when she said she had to leave for a photo-shoot? Was she with him when she called saying she was going to be late?

"As the hours went by, I started to get angry. Angry at her, at James, at myself. The fog started to clear and I was able to think more clearly about us." I look through the glass of the balcony door to the outside. So many people having fun out there. I wonder how many of them are truly as happy as they seem.

"We simply weren't happy; we hadn't been since getting married. It was fun when we met but after that, I think I forced myself to see things the way I really wanted them to be.

"So you see, I sort of understood why she did what she did, why she wanted out. As pathetic as trying to understand her behavior sounds."

Through the reflection of the glass, I see Bella still sitting on her couch, not moving, not speaking. Just like that first time we met by the fountain, she's the one giving me something, only this time, it's space to let it all out.

"Other pieces began to fit as well." How could she have been trying to destroy everything I had worked for? Why did she-?

I ball my fists and take deep breaths. That familiar rage I felt at the time starts to flow through me. The helplessness, the fucking loss of control over my life. This time though, I can't let it consume me like it did two years ago.

"You know what the funny thing is?" I chuckle humorlessly. "The end of a marriage I could understand, thinking about it, I could even let that go, let _her_go. It was what had been happening right under my nose that I couldn't let pass, just like that."

_Betrayal._

_Questions._

_Safes._

"Edward, I don't understand what you mean." I hear her soft voice next to me now; I hadn't noticed she moved from the couch. I feel her hand on my shoulder, but I shrug it away.

Did I say that out loud?

"Edward, please." Her voice breaks and I know I'm hurting her by pushing her away, but I won't be able to tell her the rest if she touches me.

"Please don't touch me." I faintly say and grip my hair with both hands. I still can't believe my actions over the next weeks.

I hear her sigh and retreat a few steps back, but she doesn't return to the couch.

In the reflection on the glass, I see that we are both facing the outside. I rest my head on the cool glass and continue.

"I hired someone to follow her for the next week. I avoided my place at all costs, spending as little time as possible so as to not see her. I knew I'd crumble if I did.

"This guy found proof that this had been happening as early as when we were newlyweds," I scoff. Fucking blind. "I now had visual proof of their affair so I anonymously sent them to the press. No one would be willing to work with her anymore. She had been sleeping with my competition for two years; other designers wouldn't risk working with someone who could double-cross them as well. Besides, a lot of her contracts had morals clauses and cheating on her husband sure broke them."

Modeling and all that world was her life; I knew it was a good way of getting to her.

"I confronted them at the hotel one night, right before the news broke, and beat the hell out of James. The bastard only laughed to my face.

"The very next day, the photos were all over the media. She didn't look good just as I predicted; I was left the stupid and poor husband; and James was seen as the cocky bastard who dared to sleep with the wife of his competitor."

"Oh God." From her reflection I can see her shaking her head.

"With all of this, I just stopped caring altogether about that world and what they thought about me. In a way, I blamed them for making all this fame shit so appealing. I slowly started dating again and acting like an ass in front of the press. I let them think what they wanted."

No matter what, they would anyway.

"Two months later, Renata killed herself. She called often before that time, but I never took her calls. I had her banned from our - my - home and from my studio. I see now that, had I taken the time to really listen, I would've seen that she needed help." She had been so desperate, she even called my parents to plead her case, but I always told them I didn't want to see or hear from her, no matter how much she insisted.

For a few weeks it almost felt like betrayal on their part, how could they talk to her? Did they meet with her as well? But after she died... I saw that they did what any person would've done, except for me: they listened.

They were better than me.

My breathing picks up and I think I'm close to having another panic attack.

I feel Bella dragging me to the couch, I don't have the energy this time to stop her. We settle there and this time I hug her tightly to me. I need to feel some kind of contact with her. I hadn't realized it, but I could feel tears course down my cheeks.

"Shh, Edward. Please breathe, it's ok." She repeats over and over.

"It's not okay, Bella. She's _dead_, because of me. I never though she'd-" I don't know what I was expecting, but never that.

"You were hurt. You did the only thing that felt right at the time."

I jerk away from her and stare at her face.

"But that's just it, Bella, can't you see? I thought I was doing what was _right_ at the moment. I acted so vengefully and it actually _made sense_. That's the kind of man I am, Bella. One who thinks _that _is the right thing to do. There is absolutely no excuse for that behavior, no excuse, so please don't tell me it's okay."

She sighs tiredly.

"Please, Edward." She comes to me and wraps her arms around my neck, she doesn't let go no matter how much I resist.

"Don't do this to yourself. It wasn't the best way to act, but you were blinded by hurt, you were scared to death at being left so vulnerable. You're not a bad man, the fact that you regret these actions and even punish yourself proves it." I feel her breath on my neck, so soothing. Her words barely calm me though. I wish I could believe them.

I don't want her to leave, now that she really sees _me_, the one I've been so afraid to show her. She could easily choose to run for the hills. It's the rational thing to do and I wouldn't blame her for it. But I can't let those words leave my lips, I can't physically tell her to leave.

So I don't.

"Please don't go away. I'll do my best not to hurt you." I sound so weak, almost like a child, but it's a promise I repeat all the time since I met her.

"I'm not going anywhere, Edward," She repeats over and over. I know she wants to say more, to try and understand what I said and what I left unspoken, but I'm so tired, I don't have the strength to talk or listen to anything more.

I can't let her go, even though I know I should. I could do so much worse to her.

We rock back and forth on the couch, my face buried in her hair and hers in my neck. Sometimes she whispers comforting words that vibrate in my throat, other times she kisses my skin softly. I can't move my hands from the grip they hold her in. Like this, I've never felt more safe or more scared in my life.

After a few moments, I feel her trying to pull away from me. My breathing starts to accelerate and my grip on her gets stronger.

"Shh, Edward. I'm not going anywhere, not without you." For some reason, I believe her words the moment she utters them, if she says she's not leaving, she isn't.

I lift my head and gently start loosening my arms from around her. She's smiling faintly as she gets up from the couch, extending her hand to mine. It's an invitation to follow her, I do so without thinking it. No where she leads can be a bad place.

It turns out she leads me to her bedroom. I want to protest, she doesn't have to take me there, but I'm so tired and drained. I can barely keep my eyes open.

She turns off the lights as we go and once there, she makes me sit on her bed. Bella crouches in front of me and helps me with my shoes and socks. The action is so loving and caring, for a second I feel like crying. No one has ever taken care of me like this, except my Mom when I was a child. Like this, with her, every touch she gives me feels like healing.

She looks up from in front of my legs and the sight is so humbling: her in the dark, kneeling in front of me when all I want to do is worship her. Take care of her.

She gives each knee a small kiss and slowly stands up, her hands never leaving my body. My calves, my thighs, my sides, my shoulders. Stopping at my face, she cradles it and softly kisses my forehead. The way she looks at me, I've never seen her like this. It's care and worry and understanding, yet there is more in her eyes.

Fuck, she's everything to me, everything.

I don't know what she sees in my own eyes, but it makes her close hers for a second before excusing herself to the bathroom. I'm left there staring at the floor, sitting on her bed. At any other time, this would make me nervous and a mumbling mess, but now, all I want to do is lay down and close my eyes.

She comes back wearing a tank top and shorts and pulls me to her bed with her. It feels so soft and calming laying on it. Everything smells of her.

We both rest on our sides, facing each other. I could gaze at her all night, but my eyes can barely stay open.

"Just rest, I'll be here when you wake up again." She notices me trying to stay awake.

I feel her hand on my cheek and I lean into her palm. I feel so safe like this. Once again, simple touches calm me more than a thousand words from her.

"Bella." I'm not sure if she hears that but a second later, I'm out.

O~o~O~LB~O~o~O

I feel a buzzing every few seconds. I have no idea what it is, but for some reason I think it's important.

With my eyes closed, I take a deep breath and realize there is a sweet sugary scent enveloping me. It doesn't smell like perfume or even candy, it's something more, something edible and maybe spongy? I don't know what _spongy _smells like, but that's the image I get in my head at the moment. The scent also blends with others, creating a perfect mix that dances in the air.

I have no idea where that comes from.

I open my eyes and there is so much light in the room, I must've forgotten to close the drapes last night.

Last night.

Everything comes flooding back at that second. Last night I told Bella what happened with Renata. I look to my right and I see her there, sleeping by my side, my right arm around her waist.

She didn't push me away. She listened while I told her things I wished had never happened. She didn't pull away.

Rose's words come back to me. _Don't take the choice away from her. Let her decide what to do with the info you give her._She had been right, it's Bella's decision. And apparently, she's decided to stay. At least for the moment.

I look around the room and I smile seeing that it's very Bella, much like the rest of her apartment. Different shapes and colors on the shelves and a little mess, but I guess there is order in that, at least to her.

The closed sheer curtains let the light seep through them, waking the entire room... and me. I have no idea how she can sleep with so much light all around. Yet somehow, it fits her, I can't imagine her in a dark room.

The air still smells of sugar and it's then that I remember the bakery from downstairs. They must be open already and the scents from their kitchen make their way up to here.

I close my eyes and groan. What a way to start the day.

A second later I feel her stir and then it hits me that I'm here in bed with her. I'm in bed with Bella. And she's pressed against my side, feeling too good for comfort.

I shake my head and look down at her, she feels so warm and perfect , her body molding to mine, her breath warming a spot on my shirt every few seconds. I smile at the sight, she looks beautiful with her hair all over the place and a little pout. I want to kiss it, but that might be too creepy. Watching her sleep is weird enough.

"No, bad bunny ... Edward." She whispers. Bunny? What the hell is she dreaming about? I have to cover my face with the pillow, trying to muffle the sound of my laughter.

The buzzing starts again and I realize it's my phone. I move a little without waking Bella up and check the screen. Ten missed calls? When I check the time, I see that it makes sense the studio has called me this many times, I should've been at work an hour ago.

How did I oversleep? That never happens. I must've been more tired than I thought.

I don't want to talk to anyone, the thought of getting out of this bed and facing responsibilities is very unappealing at the moment.

I send a quick text to Irina telling her to reschedule my day and that I'll be back tomorrow.

I set my phone on the bedside table and turning to Bella, I drift once again to sleep. I'll think about everything later on.

O~o~O~LB~O~o~O

I awake once again, with a jolt. I was having a nightmare. That last time I saw Renata with James in bed. An image I only want to forget keeps replaying over and over. By now, I know it will probably never stop.

I move a little and, when I look down at Bella, I see her looking back at me. She doesn't say anything, she doesn't even look sleepy. I wonder how long has she been up.

"Morning. Did I wake you?" My voice sounds groggy.

"Morning. And no, I've been awake for a while."

We fall into silence, just listening to each other's breaths. I can feel her hand drawing circles over my heart. Every pass of her fingers makes it thump a little faster.

"How did you sleep?" She asks, breaking the silence. She looks a little concerned, she must've noticed that I was having a bad dream.

"Fine, my phone woke me up earlier and I let my assistant know that I won't be in to work today." I'd much rather stay with her, but I can just as easily go back to my apartment. I don't have the head for work today.

"Good. You need to rest." She sounds a little relieved by my words.

She just looks at me, for a second it unnerves me, but it's Bella and I can tell she's thinking over things and giving me the time to do the same. I know there is still much to talk about, but at the moment I don't even know where to start or if I even want to talk about this some more.

"So, what were you dreaming about this morning?" I ask, trying to break her stare.

"What?" She blinks confused.

"You were mentioning a bunny earlier in the morning."

"I was?" She looks so embarrassed as she buries her head on my shirt.

"Don't be embarrassed, I thought it was cute, and I'm really dying to know."

After a long grumble, she sighs in resignation and looks up.

"You won't give up, will you?"

"Nope."

"Fine. Well, I was sitting on a grass field eating candy and there was this bunny that showed up out of nowhere and stole it. He left me there, sitting and crying." I kiss her forehead. Stupid bunny.

"But then, from between the bushes, you showed up and charged at the bunny. You won and then brought me back my stolen candy."

"I did?" I laugh, I'm fighting imaginary bunnies for her.

"Yes, we sat there to eat it, a full bag I might add. My hero." Her lashes flutter rapidly while she grins and more than ever I want to kiss her.

"Only in your dreams." The words leave my mouth in disdain, before I even think about them.

"Stop that." Her hand gently caresses my stubbled jaw.

And because nothing works the way I want it to, I have to open the door to talk about last night.

"I don't know, Bella. I've thought about this for so many years, replayed it so many times. I might be a good man every once in a while, but I fear so much that the one who did those things is the real me, just waiting for another opportunity to come out. I had many windows of opportunity at the time to stop what I was doing and later to amend them, but I never did. I just kept going and going, with only one thing on my mind: to hurt Renata."

"God, Edward, I can barely imagine what you must've felt during that time. I just think you weren't seeing clearly, you were blind to everything but hurting her. How could you ask for reason at a time when everything around you made no sense and started crumbling down? I'm guessing your family tried to intervene at the time?" I nod.

"So if you weren't able to listen to those you love the most, how could you expect to stop on your own?"

Because I should've.

"Pain… you felt utter pain at everything that was happening, even if it was for a woman you later realized wasn't meant for you. She did things that no one should do to anyone and publicly, at that. You said it yourself, the hurt changed into anger and that's normal. Who wouldn't have felt that?

"You could've handled things in a better way, that's true, but that was what made some level of sense at the time." She takes a breath and lets me think things for a few moments.

It's true, I was embarrassed, hurt, my ego bruised and most of all... I was scared and felt vulnerable. Had I not found out about her affair at that time, God knows how far she would've gone. I ended up channeling all those feelings into anger and a purpose. That was easier to deal with and easier to alleviate. At least I thought so. It's the consequences that I have a hard time dealing with.

"I don't think you're a bad man, Edward, and neither does your family. Your sister would never let you be around Marie if she didn't think there is a good man in there." She places her palm on my heart. "You're much stronger than you think."

"I know you're scared about doing the same again, to me, to your family. I don't believe you'll hurt me intentionally, but you can't promise that will never happen, that's out of your control. I could just as well be the one doing the hurting." I shake my head, I don't want to think about it.

"Can you handle that? Can you live with the fact that we're not perfect?" I smile faintly, I think she's perfect, even when I know she'd fight me on that.

"Don't push me away, Edward. Don't push your family away, that's what hurts the most." She kisses the place where her hand had just been.

I repeat her words in my mind over and over. _Not a bad man_. S_tronger than you think_. I heard them so many times from my parents and Rose, I didn't believe them back then. I could barely look at my parents, I was so ashamed of my actions.

And stronger? I don't think I'm a strong man, I was weak and let rage guide my actions. No strong man does that. I guess I still don't believe the words now, even coming from Bella. Good men don't act the way I did back then, they stop before that.

As hard as the thought sounds, she's right though, I can't promise her that I won't hurt her at some point, but I can stop myself from acting the way I did with Renata.

All I can do is work to be better, to not let hurt and rage consume me and blind me again. I could never forgive myself if I repeat that same mistake. Beyond that, there's nothing I can do. That scares me. Not having control.

I grip Bella to me a little more tightly. She doesn't say anything, only lets me process everything.

"I'll try." _To be the man you see in me._

We stay under the sheets, kissing and touching at times, others quiet and deep in thought, for the next few hours. There is so much to think about. Much like I thought before, she doesn't look like she'll be running away from me and that makes me feel incredibly relieved. I'll work to be the one she deserves, the one my family deserves.

"Thank you." I whisper into the room. Such a simple thing to say but with so much meaning. Thank you for listening, for not running away, for waking me up... for being here. For being you.

I feel her lips on my neck and I know she understands.

As much as having her almost naked body here in bed is beyond appealing, I can't bring myself to do much more than kissing her and touching her over her clothes. This is a morning about being close and take care of each other, letting words that had been hiding out in the open and make promises for _our_future; more than getting her completely naked.

I can already feel the shift in our relationship after today: I don't feel like there is a deadline between us anymore. I know there will be more talk in the future, but at the moment, this is enough and liberating.

Reluctantly, we get out of bed when hunger becomes too much, around lunch time. I'm starving. I haven't had a lazy morning like this in what seems forever. Too bad it had to be under these circumstances.

I shower and Bella gives me a shirt she designed. I didn't expect anything different but it fits perfectly. And I like that I'm wearing something she made.

I leave her in the kitchen while she prepares lunch. As much as I love cooking with her, I'm no help today.

I wander around her living room, checking out her photos and other trinkets. I see her small living room and remember the talk from last night. I feel much lighter after it. I know things will come up again, more if I get back into that awful state of mind, but now I know that whatever happens from now on, I'm trying, even if things don't work between us in the future.

That thought hurts the most.

I wonder around the room, watching and smiling at her decorations and photographs. Her life on those walls and shelves. There are pictures of her and, I'm guessing, her father. She looks so happy there and he looks really proud standing next to her at her high school graduation. There are others of her mother and I don't have to ask Bella if I'm right; the similarities are plainly obvious: the shape of her face, the shade of her hair and most of all, the same bright smile.

I see a few of Bella sitting in front of a piano in the middle of a cozy little living room. Even then, she made the same face when she concentrated.

"That was one of the first times I was able to play an entire song by myself." She's right at my side now. I hadn't noticed; I've been staring at her photos for so long.

"Sorry, didn't mean to pry. You look really happy in them."

I roam the wall and see others of her and a big guy at the beach, she's on his back. For a second I feel jealous of him, but then I shake my head. How could I be jealous of someone who's making her look as happy as she looks in the pictures?

What strikes me the most is that her face and smile look so clear. Like she's smiling with her whole body, if that's even possible. No pain or dark cloud over her head.

"That's Emmett, you know, my friend. He had been trying to show off to a group of girls nearby." Bella tells me when she notices which photo I've been looking at.

Emmett. The guy who, along Alice, helped her in her darkest moment. I really want to meet him.

"Did he get them?"

"Oh yeah, he left the beach with five phone numbers." I laugh.

"You have a lot with your mother. You both look so happy in all of them." I keep looking at the other photos.

"Sometimes I feel like I am forgetting about her. More and more I forget how she smelled or how she looked in the mornings when she came to my room to wake me up for school." She never takes her eyes off the photos on the wall.

"She'd be really proud of you." I take her hand and lean to kiss her temple.

"Designing has been all I've ever wanted to do, I had been creating before I knew what I was doing. Every time I work on something, I feel closer to her." Her voice soft but not sad.

"When I came here, I couldn't do that, I couldn't bring myself to create anymore. So music became my escape during that time; it's another way to feel close to her, of not forgetting her." I keep my lips on her forehead. A way of calming her, the way she often does to me.

"Then came the baking, which was more a natural thing to do while I helped Alice with the bakery. It was really a matter of time before I tried it myself." She chuckles.

"Now I have all these things to calm me: designing when I need a creative outlet, I can spend hours like that when the mood strikes; music when I feel more calm and I can just let go, closing my eyes and remember my days with Mom; and baking when I'm nervous as hell. I can't concentrate enough to play or draw, so I bake."

I can see that. I throw myself into work most of the time. If I need peace, I usually go to Rose and Marie's of all places.

"I'll keep that in mind. Next time I see hundreds of cupcakes in your kitchen, I'll try to distract you in some other way." I wink and she laughs. Such a pretty laugh.

We spend the rest of the day at her place, just us in our little world. Talking, drawing, eating. It truly is the perfect day after what happened last night. We avoid all serious talk throughout.

"Ok, I think I need to go. I have to check my emails, and probably the calls from Tanya from not going to work today." I roll my eyes, I haven't checked my phone, but I know there'll be some.

"I understand."

"Thanks for letting me stay here for the day, thank you for listening." I rest my forehead against hers, I'm truly grateful.

"You don't have to thank me, Edward. I'm glad you trusted me enough to talk, I know it was very hard for you. It's something you've been avoiding for a long time. I won't break that trust."

She moves her face closer to mine and kisses me. Ever since kissing that day up on her rooftop, we've done this many times. I never get enough of her. This kiss though, is different, it's slow and more careful. She's not rushing things, as if she knows we'll have time for many more in the future. That's what I want too.

This kiss is the first time that I feel much more than passion or lust for the owner of those lips. This time, a feeling stronger than even care overrides them.

With this kiss and the feeling it brings me, I let myself open to the possibility, for the first time in two years, that perhaps, love is in my future after all.

Love with Bella.

* * *

><p><strong>Oh, the L word... or the prospect of the L word.<strong>

**And yes, a lot happened here.**

**He not only struggles with the pain for what his wife did to him, but also with a lot of guilt for what HE did in return and led her to act. He doesn't want to do to Bella and his family what he did to Renata.  
><strong>

**As you can also see, he wants to give this a chance, learn from his mistakes and not repeat them. He is most certainly not the same man he was two years ago, so his actions and decisions will not be the same as in the past. Even when he struggles with them.**

**Our boy is moving forward.**

**No pics this week.**

**In other news, last week I started posting 'Little Buttons Outtakes', in case you want to read. It's not mandatory, of course, but it might give you a bit of an insight into this world.**

**Next chapter... you'll see how their minds work ;-)**

**Thanks for reading once again, pretty ladies. I'll see you in two more weeks.**


	13. Layers

**Hello, pretty ladies.**

**Glad you liked the last chapter, a necessary step for him. Like I'd said before, he's not the same man as two years ago, so how he acts will be different this time. Trying will be the new motto for him.  
><strong>

**Many thanks to my beta Songster for her help. She's pretty. :-)  
><strong>

**I don't own Twilight.**

**Strangely enough, this is the longest chapter so far... weird.  
><strong>

**Now let's see their minds work...**

O~o~O~LB~O~o~O

'**Layers'**

I get home on Friday afternoon tired from a day of fittings and meetings and a million phone calls to make. I haven't had this much work for weeks. Irina usually tries to space them out with a few days in between, but when I missed work on Monday, it threw the whole schedule out the window.

Besides all the regular work, this week was also particularly busy. We had to finish the clothes we were going to send for the _Déployer Vos Ailes_ Gala at the end of next month. It was an event organized by _Hôpital Necker – Enfants Malades_ every year at the end of October that my family and I were very much involved with. The money they collect helps in the funding of centers all over Paris. The centers are for women and children coming from abused environments: the _Prends Ma Main _Network. I always donate a small collection to be auctioned that night and attend the party.

I used to go with different dates in the past, then with Renata. It was a cause close to my family's heart, and we're always a part of it. This would be my second time going without my wife, last year I barely made an appearance before leaving early. I didn't want to answer stupid questions and, because I was a coward, I didn't want to see my parents there.

Rose never goes though, she can't stand the pity-looks people give her. People are always cautious around her, never knowing what to say or do. She hates it. She donates original stories for the event though, and is very proud when they sell to high bids.

This year feels different though. Not only do I really want to go and have a good time with the people attending, but also, I think I can actually enjoy the evening with my date and not just wait until the polite time to leave.

Bella. My date.

I haven't asked her yet and like a school boy, I'm nervous about her saying no. She hasn't given me any indication that she might say that, but still, I'm nervous. It would be our first date in front of everyone we know. Actually, in front of everyone, period. For that reason alone I'd love to see her by my side and for the world to see it as well.

The event is so publicized; it makes it into every magazine and TV show for the next few weeks and that makes me hesitate for a moment. I don't want people criticizing her and judging every aspect of her. I'm used to it and I hate it.

I know she can take it, she's strong, but the thing is, I don't _want_her to go through it. People talk regardless of whether they're right or not and I know it might hurt her.

On the other hand, this could be a great opportunity for her to mix with people in the industry and it could be great now that she wants to get into designing again. Besides, I couldn't be more proud to be at her side for the world to see. I'm always proud of her.

That thought alone makes want to call her right now and ask her to go with me.

I sigh, I'm exhausted.

This week has been hell and my only interactions with her have been over the phone. I love her voice, but I can't survive only on that. I had usually gotten home and passed out as soon as we had hung up. I was disappointed by it, I had wanted to see her but it's my own damn fault, really. I'm the one who can't delegate.

I'm a moron.

Ever since our talk last Sunday and Monday morning, every interaction with her feels different now. Without the weight of me having to talk to her about my past and the fear that she might not want to be with me afterwards, everything seems endless in a way. As if we have all the time in the world now. To explore, to feel, to see and to taste.

It's a whole world open to me now. And as scary as that is, it's also exciting with her.

During this past week, our talks have been about everything and nothing: how the day went, what ideas we came up with. We laughed often and that made me want to see her even more. But I honestly didn't know what to think or say about our talk from last Sunday, and apparently neither did Bella, since she didn't bring things up again. Maybe she's waiting for me to bring up the subject.

The thing is, I've thought about my issues so much for so long, that I'm absolutely tired of it. I'm tired of questioning every step I take, of questioning every damn person in my life. I'm so tired. Being with Bella is the only time that I've actually let myself think about me, and what _I_ feel for a change.

I'm going to keep my promise to her and try not to put the weight of the world on my shoulders this time. I'll let go and pray that things turn out okay. Whether that happens or not, it's not up to me to decide.

I'm almost falling asleep when my phone brings me back to the present. I look down and I see that my shirt is half open and my shoes are gone. I don't even remember when I did this.

I see who's calling and smile. I haven't talked to her since last week.

"Hi, Mom."

"Edward. You sound tired, are you ok? Did I call in a bad time? I should call tomorrow, shouldn't I?" She keeps asking me, or maybe herself. I can't get a word in.

"Mom," I finally interrupt when she takes a breath. "It's ok. Yes, I'm a little tired, but I always have time for you." All the time in the world from now on. I can't give her the time she missed because of me, but I can give her all the time I have left from now on.

"Oh, ok. Well, I was calling to find out how you've been. I haven't talked to you all week, I was getting worried." She does sound worried. I can't really blame her, this is how it started last time I withdrew from them.

"Thanks, Mom. I'm sorry, this week has been hell. I've only worked, ate and slept."

"Mhmm." I have to smile, even with all the time that we haven't been close, I still know that there is more in that hum than she's letting on. She wants to ask me something.

I won't call her on it; I want her to feel comfortable with asking me anything she wants. I also think I know what she might want to ask about. Bella. Mom probably spoke to Rose and as usual, she didn't give much information.

"I saw Rose last weekend; Marie is getting pretty good with the piano." I say. There. From this, she'll certainly ask about Bella now.

"Isn't she? I think she might get better than Rose with a little more practice." She pauses for a moment. "Marie also mentioned the other day about her new friend Bella."

And there it is. It didn't take her long to get comfortable.

"Really? I'm glad. It didn't look like that for a few moments on Saturday."

"Yes, Rose told me about that." She laughs. Thanks, Mom, I almost had a heart attack.

"Not funny, Mom, but Bella was able to win Marie's heart." And apparently, her undivided attention.

"I'm glad, honey." She sounds a little sad though. I know she's glad about it, but I also think that she's sad that I haven't introduced Bella to her and Dad.

That's another thing altogether. _When_ is the right time to do that? At the end of next month at the party? If Bella does indeed go with me. Maybe earlier so it's not so awkward that night? Isn't it too soon to be introducing the parents? We've only known each other for a month. Then again, I married Renata really quickly.

But Bella is not Renata, a fact that I'm very aware of and yet, in the back of my mind, I can't help but compare them. This time, I want to take things slowly and let them unfold naturally.

"Honey, it's ok. Things have a way of working themselves out." She interrupts. I must've spaced out longer than I thought.

"I'm sorry, Mom. I know I've said this over and over and you probably don't believe me, but I am." I feel kinda shitty about not being able to just introduce a girl I like to her without over-thinking and questioning myself.

"I know. I understand, hon. Rose has been there for you; it's obvious that you'd feel more comfortable with her." I don't miss the way her voice cracks when she says that about Rose. What she's not saying hurts the most.

It was _my _choice, not hers.

"Mom-" I take a deep breath. _I'll try_. "It will happen, I don't know when, but you will meet Bella and I know you'll love her."

"Thank you, just take your time." And now she sounds more relaxed. "Now, tell me more about her, you barely said anything last time and Rose is a vault. What's this about her baking skills Rose mentioned? Edward, you know you can't have too many sweets."

I laugh and we spend the next hour talking about Bella and what's happening in Mom's life. Well, it's mostly me talking and her listening to my every word.

I was so happy, it took me forever to fall asleep after that.

O~o~O~LB~O~o~O

"So what are you doing today?" I ask Bella while I'm eating my cereal on Saturday morning. This stuff is just too good.

"Oh, well... " We've spent a lot of our weekends together. Maybe assuming that she wants to spend it with me is too conceited.

"You have plans." I state.

"Yes... no. I mean, yes, I have plans. Alice called me last night and wants me to take her this dress I designed for her."

"Oh, okay. I like that you're actually doing some of the designs you showed me last week." I am. It's incredibly exhilarating seeing what your mind came up with, come to life.

"Thanks, I really want to see it on her. Of course, I'll always change something in it."

Don't I know it.

I guess I'll make some plans for today then. Rose is out of town with Marie, so I won't be going to her place today. Maybe I'll sleep?

"Also ... um ... Alice kind of wants me to go with you. She actually demanded it. I'm sorry I didn't call you earlier, maybe you have plans already?"

Alice demands it? I can absolutely see her doing something like that. Spending some time with her and Jasper sounds like fun, I haven't been able to have some 'guy time' for a long while.

"Alice wants me there?"

"Yeah, since we'll be caught up with the dress, she thinks you might want to hang out with Jasper?"

"This sounds like a playdate." I laugh.

"I know. I told her that, but she wouldn't listen." She chuckles.

I think about it for a second. Jasper is fun and I'll be with Bella.

"Ok."

"Ok? You want to go with me?"

"Of course. I mean, Alice demands it and she's scary. What kind of a boyfriend would I be if I didn't protect my girl?"

My girl.

"A boyfriend that's scared of a petite woman, but that's ok. We're all scared of her." She giggles. She sounds giddy. Adorable.

We make plans for me to pick her up at noon and then head over to Alice and Jasper's house, in _Montparnasse_.

On our way there, I try every two seconds to take a peek at the garment bag she's carrying. I offered to carry it myself, but after two _Métro_stations, she took it away and only let me have the bottle of wine I'm bringing for lunch.

"So tell me. Why does Alice need a dress?"

"She and Jasper are attending the _Déployer Vos Ailes _Gala at the end of next month. I did a dress for her last year and now she wanted a new one. I couldn't say no and I've also enjoyed doing it much more than last time."

"Really? I'm going as well." Alice and Jasper going? This is news.

"Yeah, Jasper works at _Hôpital Necker – Enfants Malades_ and they organize it. Since he works with children, he's very close to the kids that end up at the _Prends Ma Main _centerhere in Paris. They go every year, but it was only the last one that I was inspired enough to do something for her.

"She talked about me all night, telling everyone who wanted to listen that it was my design. At least, that's what Jasper said, I stayed at their house babysitting Aimée."

A Bella Swan original? Now I _really _want to see what she's carrying.

"That's great, Bella. Great publicity for your work. Did someone call you after the party?"

"Actually yes, people wanted to see more of my work. I just didn't want to show anything to anyone. I also didn't have that many designs ready at the time. I only did the one for Alice, a one time thing."

That must've been overwhelming for her. Having made a dress just for her friend and then getting calls from strangers asking to see her work, work she had just recently gotten back into.

For a second I wonder if asking her to go with me and making connections there again would be too much for her. Then again, it might not be, she's different this year.

"How would you feel about going to the party as well? You know, with me." I want to roll my eyes. Of course with me.

When she turns in my direction, she looks really surprised. Her eyes very curious, studying me to determine if I'm being serious or not.

"If you don't want to, you don't have to. I go because it's important to me and my family, besides, I donate for the auction. And since Alice and Jasper will be there and it could be fun." Now I'm getting more excited about the idea.

She looks surprised by my question, blinking a few times.

"Oh, well. That sounds nice actually. I'm just not sure about it." Her voice sounds so weak. I haven't heard her like this before, almost... defeated?

I nod, but only to acknowledge her answer. I don't understand why she looks like this.

She doesn't say anything else for the rest of the _Métro _stations. I keep looking at her, trying to read her, but she just hugs the garment bag and avoids looking at me. It makes me nervous and curious as to what is she thinking. She said she thought it was a nice idea, but she doesn't want to go anyway. It doesn't make sense.

Is it the dress? I could design one for her.

When we get out of the station, we start walking to our destination, holding hands and Bella leading the way.

I can't take it anymore.

"Bella? Please tell me what you're thinking about? I don't understand why you don't want to go, you don't have to. Maybe I'll be a little disappointed because I don't get to show you off, but it's ok." I chuckle when I say that, teasing her, but when I see her stiffen by my side, I know I hit a nerve.

I gently stop her from walking, taking the bag from her hands and setting it beside the bottle of wine on a near bench. Cradling her face, I rest my forehead against hers.

"Bella? Open your eyes, please?"

When she does, she looks so broken. What did I say to make her feel this way? Ingrained fears of hurting others, of hurting _her_come to surface. Have I hurt her already, without knowing, just like I feared?

"Tell me what I said or did." I plead.

"It's not you, Edward. It's me." She lets a tired breath out. I lead her to the bench near us and sit her on my lap. This seems to calm her as she relaxes in my arms.

"It's just ... the attention. I'd love to go with you, you're right, it would be fun. It's just, all those people around us, seeing me as your girlfriend and Alice telling everyone who would listen that the dress she's wearing is mine, I feel like I could barely take the look judgement in their eyes. Up until now, I've been my only critic and going there would be the ultimate exposure." Much like I've been thinking, she's afraid of those people. I know things will be said and I can take it. I thought she could as well, but seeing her like this, maybe she's not ready yet to be out there.

And I may be pushing her too hard.

"It wasn't always like this. It's not like I craved attention, but designing calls for you to be out in the open and I accepted that, I really did. Good or bad critics, they always help improve your work.

"But it's been such a long time since I've experienced that kind of exposure, now even a little bit of attention throws me off. Garnering attention to myself wasn't something that worked very well for me when I was in New York." There it is again, what happened in New York. I wonder what she means by this.

When she stops, she rests her head on my shoulder. I run my hand over her back, trying to calm her. She does look much better after what she said.

"I get it, Bella. I've told you what I think of your work, but I won't push you. If it's too much, then I'll go alone. I want the world to see you, see us, but on our own time."

I hope she understands that I have to make an appearance at the party. Anything to help bring the media and more money to it.

"Thank you. And I'm sorry about how I reacted, it has nothing to do with you, at all. Although it is a little frightening to have people there seeing me as your girlfriend." I stiffen. Maybe being with me is too much after all.

"But," she cradles my cheeks. "I'd love to be there with you, for everyone to see that I'm with you." She kisses my lips for a second and I relax. "And for them to see that you're with me."

"It's the attention to my work that makes me hesitate." I want to protest and tell her that I think she has nothing to fear on that front, but seeing her reaction from earlier, this would be futile.

"Can I think about it? I just need time to process things."

"Of course, all the time in the world. Well, until the party that is." She giggles and I know we're good.

I will give her all the time she needs, but it worries me that she sees the party like this. This fear, it's an obstacle she'll have to face in order to make a name for herself in the future.

I pick up our things and walk the rest of the way to Alice's house, the mood much lighter.

Alice and Jasper's house fits them so much, it's ridiculous. I don't know if there is such a thing, but this one does. It's a two story house in a small neighborhood. It has a huge front yard and I can just imagine the one in the back. What strikes me the most is that even when the house is the biggest one in the neighborhood, it's the one that looks ... the coziest? It almost looks like a cabin, which is very weird for the architecture of the rest of the street.

It certainly stands out and it's happy and vibrant much like Alice, but also looks warm and calm like Jasper.

After Alice buzzes us in, we walk the path to the main door of the house. Both sides of the yard look like a small maze of flowers. All the different colors swimming in a sea of green flow seamlessly from blue to red to yellow and everything in between.

It reminds me of a _macarons _display.

This garden is certainly Alice's.

I have no idea what kind of flowers they are, but the air is filled with their scents. I can tell Alice takes great care of the garden and I have no idea how her daughter doesn't pluck them right out of the ground.

I would've done it as a child.

"Wow. How does Alice find the time to keep this kind of garden?"

"It's called weekends, you know." She laughs. "Besides, her bakery pretty much runs on its own by now; she doesn't have to be there all the time."

Before we have time to knock on the door, a little girl opens it. Aimée.

"_Bonjour_, Aimée. And why are you opening the door? Did you ask your Mom?" Bella picks her up.

"Yes, she said I could do it."

"Do you remember my friend Edward?"

She nods and then blushes, the spirited little girl from weeks ago, gone.

"_Bonjour, Mademoiselle _Aimée." I bow, that seemed to work last time.

She giggles, gets free from Bella's hold and runs to the back of the house. We're all but forgotten.

"Well, hello hello. Don't just stand there in the doorway, come on in." Alice appears to our right, giving Bella a hug. She then guides us to a small living room where Jasper is reading the paper.

"Edward, thank you for coming today."

"Thank you for inviting me. You have a lovely house, Alice. And the garden. Wow."

"Thanks, that's my pride and joy." She beams.

"What about our daughter? The bakery? Your husband?" Jasper comes from the couch.

"You know you and Aimée come first and the bakery is obvious. The garden is different." She rolls her eyes but the way they're smiling to each other, shows they've had this conversation many times before. It almost feels familiar, even when it's the first time I've witnessed it.

"Edward, nice seeing you again." He turns from his wife and we shake hands.

"You too."

"Bella. Thank God you're here, my wife has been driving me crazy about the dress." He also hugs her and it looks so warm that for a second I feel jealous, but not of him touching her, it's clear they're friends and he obviously loves Alice. I'm jealous of the connection they share. A connection that comes from knowing her, really knowing her, in a way I haven't reached yet.

But I want to.

They break the moment and soon, Alice is dragging Bella to the kitchen.

Jasper and I stay in the living room talking about work and his family, drinking beer. He's a funny guy and the conversation doesn't feel forced at any point. Just like I remember from the time I first met him. We even laugh when I tell him about me thinking this afternoon as a playdate.

He thought so too.

"So you and Bella, huh?" I can't say I'm that shocked by his comment. I've been waiting for it at some point.

"Yes, me and Bella."

"Look, I'm not gonna give you a speech about how you should take care of her and not treat her like shit, because she's a great girl. You know that already."

"I do. She's amazing."

"Good. The thing is, I will kick your ass if you hurt her, in any way."

"Duly noted." I nod seriously. I wouldn't expect anything less, he's protecting his friend.

"That doesn't mean that I don't like you, Edward." He takes a deep breath. "I first met Bella when she got here to Paris. I was already married to Alice; we had eloped, so we didn't meet before then.

"When I saw her, man, she was ... gone. So damn sad. She was nothing like the woman Alice told me about, at all. I couldn't believe it, I had never met her before, but I felt like I had with everything Alice told me."

And there it is, he loves her and wants to protect her. Bella is surrounded by so much love.

"Emmett, Alice and I helped her during that time. I'm a doctor, so I was very worried for her health and so was Emmett. Alice was also pregnant at the time and it was spending time with her that Bella started to open up. She'd smile when the baby kicked, they'd bake late at night when Alice had one of her cravings. I think it was Aimée that helped bring her back as well.

"But still, even when she did get better, there was always something missing. She was sad deep down and even she didn't know what to do about it, it was frustrating for her. Until you."

He turns his head toward the kitchen, where we hear the girls talk and laugh. I follow his gaze and catch Bella with plates in her arms. She looks so damn happy just setting the table. How could someone look so beautiful doing everyday tasks?

"That laugh right there, I never heard it before you came along. She never smiled this much, except around Aimée. She never made these many jokes and laughed as much as she does now." He turns to me once again. "So Edward, I do like you."

It's scary that I'm the one who is having this much of an effect on her life, on her; but I also feel incredibly proud about it. I'm having the same effect on her life that she does on mine. _I'm _making her happy- me. I look back at her again in the kitchen and this time, she's looking right at me.

The tug in my chest, one that has been faint these past weeks, grows stronger when her eyes meet mine. I can't say it's uncomfortable, it's just new and rather odd. It kind of twists when we're not together, and it pulls me to her when she's near.

Love. That's the first word that comes to mind.

Is this what _love _might feel like? An invisible string between two people that binds you to them at all times? That's ridiculous.

But then the pull starts again.

Is that what I'm feeling, anyway? Love? It was never like this with Renata, at all. There was attraction between us, lust and care, at least on my part, but what I feel for Bella is completely different from that. I feel those things as well with her, of course, but they are barely the tip of the iceberg. She pulls me to her in more levels that I even knew existed and I'm always eager for more. No this is definitely nothing like what I had with Renata.

"I think lunch is ready." I barely hear Jasper's laughter when he pushes me into the dining room.

"Hey, was Jasper giving you a hard time?" She smells so good, of basil and lime.

"No, just talking." I kiss her lips and we start lunch.

The next hour is spent eating, teasing and talking. Even some singing comes from Aimée. I look around the table and once again, I feel like I just fit in Bella's life. After Jasper's talk, I feel even more at ease, knowing that whatever I'm doing is working and that she's happy.

I relax for the rest of the lunch.

O~o~O~LB~O~o~O

"Is that the dress for me?" Alice is eyeing the bag greedily.

"No it's not, I just like carrying a garment bag all over Paris. Super fun."

"Oh shut up and let me see it."

"Ok, go try it on so I can make the changes it needs." Bella's looking at me nervously. She probably thinks I won't like it. Silly woman.

"Ok, just come up to my room when I call you. You too, Edward, I want you to see what Bella can do." She leaves without waiting for an answer.

"Is that ok with you? If you don't want me to, I can see it when she wears it at the party." I won't do anything she doesn't feel comfortable with.

"No, it's ok. I'm just nervous about it. It's the first time you'll see something of mine like this."

"I'm sure I'll love it. I loved the shirt I wore the other day; it was a perfect fit." I kiss her temple and she relaxes a little.

"Ok, you guys, you can come up." Alice yells from upstairs and, along with Jasper and Aimée, we head to the second floor. We're all really excited to see the dress and Bella is digging her fingernails into the side of my hand.

"Bella, relax." With a quick peck, we enter Alice's bedroom.

Wow, this is better than I could've imagined. Her sketches have nothing on what I'm currently seeing. On the right of the room, Alice stands on a small bench, in front of a full length mirror, smiling smugly at us.

She knows how great Bella's dress is.

She's wearing a one shoulder, long chiffon emerald green dress. It's built in delicate layers with layers of different shades of greens underneath it. It almost look like a clear sea under the sun, shades changing with the sun coming from the window. I'll have to ask her how she did that.

It's slightly loose around the bust and then falls softly to the floor.

It fits Alice perfectly, she'll look like she's floating around the room, a short train falling behind her.

"Mommy looks like a princess." Aimée whispers softly next to me, in Jasper's arms.

"She does, hon. Mommy looks very beautiful. You really outdid yourself this time Bella, everyone will be jealous of me at the party."

"Thank you, Jasper. Alice? What do you think?" She doesn't sound anything like the confident girl I see most of the time. This shy and insecure face comes out whenever designing comes onto the table. How could she be this insecure about her talent?

"Are you kidding me? I love it. The color is perfect, just like in the photos I showed you." Alice is truly beaming in front of the mirror.

"Photos?" I ask into the room, I'm still examining the details of the dress from where I stand. How did she come up with this idea?

"Yes, Jasper took me to _Dinard _on our honeymoon. It has a beautiful beach with clear water that changes from turquoise to emerald and everything in between. I showed Bella some photos of the place and asked her if she could do something with it."

"Bella?" I turn to her now.

"Yes, well. That's what Alice wanted. It was much easier than last year's idea. What was it again? Lust and love? I had no idea what to do with those words."

"Shut it, you did a great job with it. It was a long satin nude dress with a soft pink hue. It looked pretty and almost innocent up close, and totally head-turning and nude from afar." Alice laughs and I hear Jasper groaning from my left.

"Don't remind me, we almost left earlier because men were driving me insane with their ogling of my wife."

"Oh, shut up, you loved it. You loved it even more when we got home that night."

"Jeez, Alice! Aimée's in the room." Bella scolds, but she keeps her eyes on mine.

I haven't been able to tear my eyes away from her. How could I? I want to see into her mind, how she thinks, how she works. I saw a little bit the other day and it blew me away. Now? She needs to show this.

"Bella, I don't know what to say. I can imagine just what those photos must show. It's incredible. I'm very proud of you and a little jealous." I admit.

"You really like it?" As if I could lie to her. "You don't think it needs a little bit of work?" She winkles her nose when she turns toward Alice, already working in her mind where to change it.

"What do _you_think?" We both walk towards the bench where Alice stands and Bella starts fingering the fabric.

"I think it needs to be an inch shorter and maybe a little fitted in the middle part." She's serious and in what looks like 'work' mode, seeing how to make it better. I can't blame her, I do this with every piece I work with. Sometimes too much.

"Mhmm. I see what you mean, it could be fitted just below the bust." I'm about to move my hands to the dress and show her what I mean, but then I stop. This is not my dress and voicing what kind of changes I'd make it's very presumptuous of me. This can't help with Bella's confidence.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to say that the dress is not perfect already, I just-"

"Edward, calm down." She laughs. "I was the one who said it and asked for your opinion. I'd much rather you be honest than just tell me it's pretty."

"You're sure?"

"No, I'm lying." She rolls her eyes. "Of course I'm sure. You know, for a famous designer you second guess yourself a lot." You have no idea.

"I could say the same to you, _Mademoiselle_ Swan."

"_Touché_."

"God, are you always like this? This ... disgustingly cute? Are you one of those couples that stays on the phone forever waiting for the other to hang up? 'No, you hang up. No, _you_ hang up.'" Alice interrupts and waves her hands between Bella and me.

"Um ... no." I look at Bella, trying to defend us, but the second I see her, we burst out laughing. We don't do the phone thing, but we certainly have very weird talks.

"Ok, really. Just tell me your opinion." After our laughter dies, Bella is back to work.

"Well," I look at Alice to ask her. "Is it ok that I touch you? You can say no."

"Are you crazy? Not only do I get to have an original Isabella Swan but now with an Edward Cullen tweak on the side? Touch away."

"And that's my cue to take the kid out. Come on Aimée." Jasper leaves with a very chatty Aimée.

"Ok. What about fitting it here, under the bust. You can make small pleats, and since the outer fabric is a little shiny, it can simulate when the sun hits the water."

"Oh, that could work. It would change with the lights of the room. It would be like they're moving." Bella takes some pins and starts fitting the fabric. I have no idea where she got those.

"Right." I just watch her. She looks so concentrated and whispers to herself. I kind of want to laugh, she's so cute like that.

"There. That looks better." She examines her work.

"I also love the colors you chose," I suddenly have an idea to expose the inner layers of emerald fabric underneath the see-through outer ones. It would go with the idea of the sea they mentioned.. "And maybe you can show them more? How about if you make a big cut down the front, just a few layers into the fabric. It can start where you pleated the fabric at the bust and fall to the floor.

"That way, when Alice walks, the center of the dress will open and show all the different shades of emerald fabric underneath. It will look like waves of emerald water moving with her."

Both Alice and Bella turn to look at me, surprise in their faces. Maybe I said too much?

"It was only a suggestion, if you don't like it, you-"

"No. It's perfect, I knew there was something missing but what you just said, it's perfect." She turns and leaves the room.

"Bella?" I want to go to her. Maybe I crushed her confidence.

"Don't worry, she went to look for pen and paper at Aimée's room." Alice says softly. So soft that I turn in her direction.

"This is just too much." She's talking to herself and shaking her head. "Just too much."

Before I can ask her what she means, Bella walks in again, with a princess notebook and some pencils.

"Ok, do you mean like this?" She already has a rough sketch. She _just_left and she has a sketch?

"Yeah, and some lines there." I point to the drawing.

"How about if I cut here, these layers and pick this part here?"

"That works great, she won't trip like that." I joke and Bella snorts.

After a while, her new sketch is ready and we're both looking at it like a proud parent, well, she is, I had little to do with it. It was her idea.

"Thank you." She sets her pencil down and places her palms at each side of my face. It's so soft and caring, almost like she's afraid of break _me_.

"I just gave you a few ideas, you did the rest. Besides, you still have to make it a reality and that's all you."

"Just kiss me already, ok?"

I'm stunned by her request for about two seconds, then I comply and kiss her. So soft, just like every other time and, once again, there is that new feeling overpowering it. Grateful, caring, protective, healing.

I'm definitely falling for Bella Swan.

O~o~O~LB~O~o~O

"More wine, Edward?" I look away from Bella, who's talking to Jasper about movies and I notice Alice in front of me.

"No, thank you. I'm walking Bella home and I want a clear mind." Although being around Bella does make me forget everything else.

Alice sits down next to me on the couch and we both watch Bella and Jasper argue about movies. She looked so happy telling him about our day at the movies last Sunday.

"She looks happy." Alice says before taking a sip of her own glass.

"She does."

"I know Jasper said a little bit about Bella earlier. We're all very protective of her, not that she can't take care of herself, she certainly can, but we don't want to see her falling into the same state she was when she got here to Paris four years ago.

"I've known her for years, I was there when her Mom died, when everything with Ja- in New York happened, I flew there to help her, and then when she came here. You wouldn't have even recognized her." Her face looks so pained and there is more reason to believe that there was a _he_after all.

"It took her two years to start drawing and letting it all out. Before that, she only survived, I think mainly for us. She hates seeing people around her sad.

"Just like Jasper probably told you, I also like you, we all do." She turns her head in my direction. "You're good for her and I think she's good for you too. She hasn't said anything personal about you, she's not like that. But the way she's all giddy and almost bounces in her seat when she talks about you or how much she sighs in our talks when she visits us... Jesus, I missed my friend." Her eyes fixate on Bella and I can see it in her face that she truly misses Bella, the one from before.

"I'll say this only one time, so listen up. If you hurt her, I will poison a _macaron _for you, no question about it. I'll not let anyone else leave her in the same state she was four years ago. I don't care who you are, Edward Cullen." She turns back to me and glares.

"It's already clear that you both feel so much about each other so I'm trusting that you won't hurt her. I get the feeling it would hurt you to do so." I nod, it's true.

"Good, you'd deserve it. Love her and don't treat her like a piece of glass, she's stronger than she looks. Just be honest and we'll all be ok."

With that, she gets up and goes to Jasper's side, draping her arms around him.

_Love her_, there's that word again.

I look up and there she is again, looking right at me. All smiley and strong and beautiful. Yes, loving her would be so easy and I find that is all I want to do.

"Wanna dance?" She's right in front of me with her hand extended in front of me.

I now notice there is music playing and when I look to my right, Jasper and Alice are moving to the beat of it.

"Of course."

We sway slowly to the music, just on a spot near the couch. No need for big dance moves, just the two of us.

The music and the female voice that goes with it are slow and sensual. I close my eyes and I can almost feel my body moving to the beat of it on its own. There is an underlying quick tempo every now and then and for some reason I find myself smiling to it.

"What's this?" I ask Bella, without opening my eyes. I don't recognize it.

"Bossa Nova, actually Bossa Nova in French."

"Mhmm, really? I like it." I murmur against her ear. My hands on her hips, following their movement. This makes the music feel much better.

Her hands slowly move up to my shoulders and then to my hair, her fingers moving against my scalp. I close my eyes and I think I could fall asleep just like this.

My hands are doing round patterns on the small of her back and every time she breathes out, warm air hits my neck. A faint scent of red wine.

"I'm glad you like it. This is one of my favorite songs."

French and soft words envelop us and it feels so comfortable to be like this. I can see nights spent like this, just the two of us dancing and drinking wine at our place. Our place? I like the sound of that.

I promised her I'd try to not think the worst of myself and that's what I'm doing. Being strong for her, with her.

"Okay," She whispers into my ear. Maybe I said those things out loud.

"Uh?" I open my eyes.

"Ok, I'll go with you to the party." I want to tell her that she doesn't have to but she interrupts me.

"No, please listen. It was stupid being nervous about it. It's true, there will be a lot of people watching and talking, but who cares? And after the talk we had the other day, where you pretty much laid out your life in front of me ... well, you're willing to move on and show us to the world, it wouldn't be fair of me to ask you to try to see yourself under a better light when all I do is doubt myself.

"Besides, if I really want to go back to designing, I need to accept the fact that people will have to see what I do and judge it. Good or bad." She looks nervous and I know that even though she made the decision, she'll mull it over some more.

"Bella, it wasn't stupid, if that's how you felt then it's okay. But I can tell you that they'll love you. After that night people will be 'Edward who?'"

I'm not really joking, after that party her professional future could change drastically.

I feel her shaking in laughter against my chest and it makes me laugh as well. I move her to the music in a more exaggerated manner, trying to make her keep on laughing. It works. I'd dip her if it wasn't for the fact that the room is not that big.

I look at her face, beaming and happy, so much different than how I saw her earlier. This is the face that I keep picturing every single day. I couldn't be more proud of her and I'll do my best to ensure that she gets to fulfill her dream this time, as she should've four year ago.

And that is a promise I know I'll keep.

* * *

><p><strong>And we're going to a party. I wonder what Bella's dress will look like... actually, I do know...<strong>

**Oh yes, Bossa Nova. I've always found it kinda sensual. And in French, well... yeah. Something I found a couple of years ago. Not just usual Bossa Nova translated, but French singers doing their own thing originally as well. Pretty cool, IMO.**

**No pics this week.**

**Next chapter... something that Edward can't control, actually, two things he can't control. And no, I don't mean his hands. Boo.  
><strong>

**Also, in unrelated news, I had a weird writing mojo a few weeks ago and wrote a couple things. One of those is an entry for the 'Beyond The Pale 2' Contest. In case you don't know, that is a contest that deals with forbidden subjects, the taboo, so what I wrote is very different from what I usually do, especially this story. I understand if that's not your cup of tea, but if you want to read, it's under My Stories.**

**And that's it for this week, thanks for reading once again, sweeties. Much love and I'll see ya in two more weeks.**


	14. Sorbets

**Greetings, ladies.**

**Glad you liked the last chapter. Edward's helping her too, he's just starting to see the depth of it. Also, about the party, well, nothing bad will happen at it, but there is a reason for it. I'm not writing just for fun (ok, just a little). A few things need to happen before that and you'll see the first one in this chapter.**

**Many thanks to my pretty beta Songster for her help.**

**I don't own Twilight. We all know that.**

**Let's see him lose a little bit of control...**

O~o~O~LB~O~o~O

'**Sorbets'**

I cough.

And then some more.

I feel something itchy in my throat and every time I try to clear it, I get a coughing fit.

I'm probably catching a cold, which is something that for the life of me I can't understand. It's been hot all week, hell, all month, yet here I am, getting a cold.

"Irina, could you please bring me some lemon tea and something for my headache?" The pounding is driving me crazy.

"I'll be right there, _Monsieur _Cullen."

This headache is killing me today and I need to finish these designs for tomorrow, Friday, so the designers can start working on the changes I advised.

Ever since Bella's visit to my studio things have been a little different between me and my staff. For once, they don't hide out from me anymore; they give me slight nods of the head, small smiles. Also, they keep giving me these weird looks, not bad looks, but more like they see me as more... _approachable_?

I don't know, it seems like they feel more free to give me their opinions about the designs and we even joke around in the coffee break room. Me in the coffee break room was something I never expected.

I told Tanya about it and she just rolled her eyes without taking her eyes away from her computer. She then said the same thing Bella did a while back, that they respected me, always have, but apparently I have been foolishly blind not to see it. Those were Tanya's words, not Bella's.

It did make me think about the way I've been handling myself around them over the years. I haven't paid the people I work with the attention they deserved, or truly acknowledged how talented they are. And that was _my_ mistake, the fact that I just saw them as working _for_ me, instead of _with_ me at times. I know I make the final calls; I am the boss after all, but still, there is no way I would've made it this far without them, created the collections in time, or made this company what it is today.

It wasn't always this way, though. When I first started my business, before even thinking about acquiring this large studio, we were a small group of people who used to stay all night long in a small studio that could barely fit the five of us, brainstorming for ideas, cutting and stitching fabric. The next day, we'd go out for breakfast at the break of dawn, before the streets got full of people, to a small café nearby and laugh about our crazy schedule.

God, life was simple back then.

Those were fun and tiring times and it made our little group a tight one. Too bad I felt like I had to withdraw from them.

I sigh and rest my head in my hands. This headache is truly killing me.

A knock on the door makes me look up and to my surprise it's Bella with a cup of steaming tea in one hand and a bottle of pills in the other.

"Hey you. Is my headache that much stronger that I'm hallucinating now? Not that I mind if I get to see you, but still, I'd have to worry." I try to smile, but from her worried look, I don't think I did.

"That bad, huh?" She looks concerned as she approaches me.

"Yeah, but don't worry, I'm sure I'll feel better after the tea." I already feel a little better after seeing her.

She sets the cup on the desk and rests against the edge of it. She leans to kiss my lips, but I tell her that worry that she'll catch whatever I have.

"I don't care what you have, Edward. We're gonna kiss either way." All right then, who am I to say no? I just smile against her lips as she gives me a quick peck.

"You don't look so well. Why don't you just go home for the day?"

"Because I have to finish here first and I'm sure it'll go away quickly." I wave off her concern, it's probably nothing.

"Mhmm." She doesn't believe me and eyes me suspiciously as she sets her palm against my forehead.

"What do you think, Nurse Swan?" I smirk, she looks kinda cute like this, in 'nurse' mode, but I don't like that she's worried.

"Your forehead is a little warm, but I guess you'll live." Rolling her eyes, she hands me some pills and the tea.

"Thank you."

I take the pills but just before taking a sip of the tea, I close my eyes at the scent of lemon and honey. It clears my nose for a second. I take a careful drink and instantly I start feeling better, the warm tea rolls down my sore throat and that, combined with the lemon and sweet smell from the honey, soothes the soreness.

This is heaven.

I turn to Bella and then I realize that as much as I love having her here, I had no idea she was coming.

"Did I forget that you were coming? I'm sorry if I did, Bella, I've been really bu-"

"No, no. You didn't forget anything. I'm here to meet with Tanya and Rose, we're going out for lunch." She looks so happy. "And I thought I'd drop by to see my boyfriend. I found Irina just outside and told her I could bring your tea." I smile, I never get tired of the word boyfriend coming from her lips.

Tanya and Rose? Oh God.

"Don't believe anything they say, Bella. They're all lies." My tone is serious but I can't contain a smile when I see her worried eyes.

"What? You ass." She laughs and smacks my arm.

"Sorry, but it's true. Now I'm scared of what they'll say." I hide my smile with the cup of tea.

"We won't say anything that she doesn't already know." Rose is leaning against the door frame with Tanya to her side.

I roll my eyes. Bella giggles.

"You look like crap, you know. Why don't you leave?" Rose sits on the couch and Tanya follows.

"Because I need to finish work, then I'll leave. Ok, _Mom_?"

"You can work at home and then send whatever by messenger."

Uh, I hadn't thought of that and by her smirk, she knows it.

"I'm almost done anyway; I'll be out of here soon," I murmur. She clearly knows she won that one.

"Anyway, where are you going?" I try to change the subject and I'm really curious as to how this lunch date happened.

"I called Rose to meet me and then she suggested that Tanya joins us." Bella says to my right. She got comfortable sitting in the arm of my chair and keeps running her fingers through my hair. I think I spaced out for a second there.

"I've been meaning to have lunch with Bella since I met her, but Rose here wouldn't let me." Tanya interjects.

"Damn right, it was enough that you all got to meet her first, Tanya."

Again with that.

"It wasn't _all_ of us and just stop it, she loves you, you love her, everybody loves her." I say, tired already.

Love, there's that word again. It surprises me a little that it rolls off my tongue so easily lately. From the tiny gasp to my right, Bella is surprised at my words as well.

"Yes, Bella, we _all_ love you." Rose is looking really smug and I have no idea why. Tanya looks surprised, which is a first, nothing surprises her anymore.

But when I turn to Bella, instead of finding shock, I find her smiling back, with her eyes a little watery.

Like before, strong feelings swim in my chest, pulling me to her. I don't feel scared by them, I don't feel pressured, I just feel happy and peaceful at uttering the word love around her. Could it be this easy after all?

More and more is getting easier to think about it and apparently, it's getting easier for the people around me as well.

We all love her.

I see no one else at this moment but her. And we're barely touching this time.

"Bella?" She hasn't said anything yet.

"And I love _all _of you, each and every one of you." She never stops looking at me as she says this and leans forward to catch my lips with hers.

At her words and touch, the warmth in my chest gets stronger, almost scalding hot, like flames waving in the small space. Strangely enough, it's not an uncomfortable feeling and it grows when I move to kiss her. It's almost like it's her presence feeding the flames.

"Great, we all love each other. Now that it's clear, can we go to lunch? I'm starving." Of course it has to be Tanya breaking the moment.

I feel Bella shaking against my lips and I stop the kiss, glaring at Tanya.

"Well, at the moment I don't love _all_ of you exactly."

"Pff, like I care." She's trying not to smile and look indifferent, but we all see that she's not.

"Come on, Bella. Let's get this hungry woman to lunch and leave this kissing workaholic to his doings," says Rose as she waves her hand at me.

"Ok. Will you be ok? Please take a break and go home early." She whispers softly against my forehead, giving it a kiss.

"I will, I promise."

"Geez, didn't we just say the same and you barely listened?" Tanya is at the door by now, she must be really hungry. And cranky.

"The difference is that Bella asks nicely." And feels warm and soft and she's pretty.

"Ok, I gotta go." Bella giggles. Right, and I like her giggle too. "I have a feeling that they'll have my head if I don't leave now. I'll call you later and you better be at home in bed when I do." She even waves her finger at me.

That's new.

"Ok, _Mademoiselle_."

They leave and I get back to work or at least I try, not only is my headache stronger now, but also I can't stop thinking about Bella and her lunch with Tanya and Rose. I can't help but feel, once again, like everything just fits in my life and instead of letting myself fall back into feelings of doubt, I bask in the peace that she brings to my life.

I promised her I'd try and each day, that promise gets easier and easier to follow.

O~o~O~LB~O~o~O

What's that ringing? It's hurting my head.

I groan and roll over to go back to sleep. And I'm awakened by the same ringing.

I move my hand to my nightstand and search for my phone; surely someone must be dying to be calling me this early.

I reach for it and notice that, not only is it not ringing at the moment, even though I can still hear the noise, but also that it's not early at all. It's past noon.

How did that happen?

I remember coming home just after lunch yesterday, my head was killing me, and then talking to Bella for a few minutes later in the afternoon. Apparently her lunch had been fun and she couldn't wait to do it again, maybe even taking Alice too.

I didn't listen to much of the conversation, I could barely keep my eyes open and when Bella noticed that I kept getting quiet every few seconds, she let me go and told me she'd call the next day. After that, I don't remember much, just going to bed and now waking up.

Had I really slept about twelve hours?

And to my surprise, I don't feel any better, I actually feel worse.

When she ringing starts again, I realize that it's actually a buzzing coming from my living room. Someone must be at the door.

My first thought is of Bella, and that is the only reason I even consider moving from bed.

I drag myself to the door, wrapped in my comforter and moving at a snail's pace, and with much effort, I press the intercom.

"Yes?" I cringe at the stinging in my throat, it's worse than yesterday and I barely recognize my voice.

"Edward?"

"Bella?"

"Thank God it's you, I was so worried. Can I come up?"

"Yeah." I open my door and go sit on the couch, waiting for her to come up. My head is still pounding and now my body hurts. I want to go to bed.

"Oh my God, Edward. You look awful." I open my eyes and slowly turn to the door. Even that movement hurts.

"Thanks."

"You need to go back to bed. Come on." I don't even get a word in while she's helping me up and leading me to my bedroom.

"How did you know which one was my bedroom?" I sit down on the bed with her by my side.

"I didn't, but it's the only room that's dark and has an unmade bed so I guessed."

I nod. It makes sense I guess.

"How did you know I'd be here?"

"I called your office in the morning to see how were you feeling and they told me you never showed up and weren't picking up your phone."

"Sorry about that, I just woke up actually."

"I can see that. God, Edward, why didn't you tell me how were you really feeling yesterday?"

"I wasn't feeling this bad."

"But last night you kinda were." She's shaking her head. "I should've known."

"Don't worry, I'll be fine. I just need a little bit of sleep." Because apparently, sleeping half a day is not enough.

"Ok, I'm here now, so I'm taking control." She stands up and heads to the bathroom, actually, she opens the closet door first, and I hear water running.

"Come on, you're taking a shower. Sorry, boyfriend, but you stink and the steam might help a little."

Once she helps me to the bathroom, I sit on the toilet and slowly start taking my shirt off. When I stand up to start taking off my pajama pants, I hear Bella gasp.

"Um... I'm gonna make you something for lunch, you need to eat. Are you gonna be okay to take a shower on your own?" Even with my head a little blurry, I don't miss the way her voice raised when she said that.

She's facing the door, trying her best not to look at me. She's a better person than me. I would've peeked.

"Yeah, I'll go slowly." Any other day, I would've teased her. And I might after I get better.

"Ok, I'll leave you clean clothes here on the counter. Is that ok?"

"Sure, dig away."

The feel of the hot water is so freaking soothing, I might stay under here for the rest of my life. Not only does it get all that sticky feeling off my skin from all the sweating, but it also clears my nose. I don't feel so groggy and slowly start to wake up.

When I turn it off, I notice a new set of pajamas laying on the counter. I smile thinking about Bella trying not to look at me through the foggy glass. Or maybe she did try.

When I make it out of the bathroom, the scent of food is filling my room. I didn't know how hungry I was until now.

Bella is standing by my bed with a tray of food.

"Come to bed, I changed your sheets and cleaned up a little bit. I opened your curtains too, it was too dark."

I get into bed again and sit against the headboard, noticing the changes she mentioned.

"You didn't have to do that." She sets the tray on my lap and I forget what the hell was I protesting just now.

There is a bowl of steaming chicken and vegetable soup, a glass of orange juice and a few crackers. She even set a flower in a thin vase.

"To make it pretty," she says, when she sees me touching the flower.

"Bella-"

"Don't tell me I didn't have to do it. I know I didn't have to, I just wanted to. And you would've done the same for me, don't deny it." I can't, because I would've, well, I would've bought the soup but the sentiment would've been there.

"You're right. Thank you."

The soup is incredible, even with my sore throat I can tell that it is homemade as the rich flavors of the chicken, carrots, celery and other stuff I have no idea about mix perfectly in my mouth.

I feel better already.

"Bella, this is amazing. How did you make it? I have almost no food in my house." I need to make my monthly order.

"I made it at home earlier this morning. I figured you were sick and had not eaten at all after calling here and getting no answer. Didn't you notice the bag I brought?"

Huh, I really didn't.

"Don't worry, you were kinda out of it for a second there."

After finishing my lunch and taking some medication, Bella takes the tray to the kitchen and comes back to check up on me.

"Ok, you have a little bit of a fever. I hope it doesn't get any higher." She looks worried as she checks the thermometer.

"I'm sure it won't, I just need to lay back." I rest back against the pillows and close my eyes for a second. These pills are starting to work really fast.

"Ok, I'll be in the living room while you sleep, just call me if you need anything."

She's leaving?

"Don't go, please. Just stay here for a few moments?" I pat the space next to me.

"I won't leave then."

She takes off her shoes and lays there on her side, facing me. I do the same, although it takes me a little longer. My body aches and I feel so tired, so I close my eyes.

"So tell me, how was lunch yesterday?"

"It was fun. I liked Tanya and Rose when I met them individually, but together? Wow, they're something else." I feel her hand touching my cheek and I lean in to it. Even feeling a little hot from the fever, her touch is actually a little cooling.

"That they are." I chuckle, although I think it sounds more like a cough than anything. "I haven't been with both of them for lunch for a long time. I always go out with Rose and Tanya is usually busy. You were very lucky you got them together at the same time. Although maybe it's more than luck, they actually wanted to make time to be with you. I'm hurt."

"Don't be hurt, I loved the girl time, but I love _our _lunches throughout the city." I feel her kissing my nose.

"Mhmm, that feels nice." I can barely open my eyes, sleep will come very soon.

"What? This?" And she starts kissing my nose, eyelids, forehead, cheeks, everywhere she can reach.

_You __feel __so __good._

Her fingers are moving down my arm to my hand and she intertwines our hands, rubbing slightly on my knuckles.

_Don__'__t__ stop, __never __stop._

I hear some shuffling and when I finally open my eyes, she's resting under the blankets, we're now under the same layer and I can feel the heat of her body from a few inches away.

"Hey." She never stops the movement of her hand in mine.

I smile and I see her doing the same, images are getting a little blurry. I still notice how beautiful she looks laying here on my bed alongside me. Her hair splayed on my pillow and her other hand tucked under it.

_You __belong__ with __me._

Suddenly, I feel her feet touching mine and I jerk at the contact, mine are cold.

"You're feet are cold, Edward. Let me warm them up." She giggles and starts rubbing them with her own.

That feels amazing, the bottoms of both her feet sliding up and down the tops of mine, never going higher than the ankle.

"My Mom used to to this when I was little; It was after a nightmare and I couldn't get back to sleep. Now every time I feel like I can't sleep, this puts me right back into it."

_Your __touch __is __always __so __calming._

"I can see why."

"Just close your eyes and go to sleep, you'll feel better when you wake up."

I do and now I can't keep sleep out much longer.

Her hands feel amazing on my face and the contact of her body on mine is better than any medication.

_Don__'__t__ leave. __I __already __started __falling __for __you._

To the feel of her touch on my body, I'm out.

O~o~O~LB~O~o~O

_Blackberry._

_Apples._

I wake up after a very weird dream. The medications must've been stronger than I thought.

I move on the bed and I find it empty. I open my eyes and see that Bella is nowhere in sight.

"Bella?" My throat still feels itchy and it hurts a little. I touch my forehead and I feel it a little hot, but not much.

I'm about to get out of bed when Bella enters the room again, carrying another tray.

How late is it? Did I miss dinner?

"Hey there, I was gonna wake you up, you need to take your medication."

"What time is it?"

"Just before five." She sets the tray on the nightstand and takes my temperature.

"How are you feeling?"

"Still sick."

"You still have a little bit of fever, but I got you something that I hope will make you feel better."

She sets the tray on my lap and I can't believe what it's there beside the bottle of pills and glass of juice: Berthillon's _sorbet __à __la __mûre __sauvage_.

"Bella, what-?"

"While you were asleep, I called Rose and asked her for the things you ate when you were sick, she said chicken soup, which I already brought, but also blackberry sorbet, for your throat. So I went out and got some for you."

"You didn't ha-" I stop when I see her expression.

"Sorry, thank you."

The second I have the first taste of the sorbet, I start feeling much better. The cooling texture slides down my throat while the blackberry flavor dances in my tongue. Jesus, I haven't had this in years. It immediately takes me back to being a little boy.

"I guess it was a good idea then?" She's sitting next to me on the bed, having her own portion of the sorbet.

I nod with a full spoon of it in my mouth.

Soon I'm looking at the empty bowl like I might start to cry; I really feel like I could.

"Give me that, I'll bring you some more, you baby."

I don't protest. She's right.

We spend the next two hours watching a movie in bed and eating sorbet. As much as I would've eaten the entire bulk of it by myself, my body doesn't feel the same way and after the second bowl, I feel full and ready to stop eating altogether.

I'm close to falling asleep again with my head on Bella's lap when she speaks again.

"I called your office and told Irina that you weren't going to work today, although it was pretty obvious. I hope that's ok."

"Thank you, God knows what I would've said had I called in myself."

"Irina was more surprised than worried, apparently you never miss work."

"I barely get sick, so it's never an issue. But you're right, I hardly ever miss work. I have nowhere else to go." Saying that out loud sounds pretty sad.

"Not anymore you don't. Now you have a girlfriend to visit."

I turn my body to face her from her lap. She's smiling down at me when I look up to her. Once again, her fingers run through my hair.

"You're right, now I have a girlfriend to go to. Although maybe we shouldn't kiss anymore." That takes the smile off her face. "You wouldn't want to catch any of my germs."

"Nonsense, I dare them to make me stop kissing you, my snotty boyfriend." She leans in as I laugh, catching my laughter in her mouth.

"Snotty? And you're still with me?"

"Always." She looks so serious when she says that, it's more than just staying here with me while I'm sick.

"Always," I repeat. "I like that."

I reach my hand to her face and slowly bring her back to me again. If she doesn't care about germs, then I won't either. I kiss her and I'm pretty sure is part of the fever, but my face feels so warm and now the rest of my body as well.

We never finish watching the movie.

I fall asleep soon after.

I hate and love being sick.

O~o~O~LB~O~o~O

I wake up when I hear voices from afar. I don't know who they are, but they sound familiar.

Bella?

Mom?

Is that Mom I hear?

That wakes me up. Is Mom here or am I dreaming?

When I open my eyes and I try to listen a little more intently, the sounds of laughter coming from the living room confirm that I'm not dreaming.

Mom is here and she's talking to Bella. And of course the first time they meet I'm unconscious.

I debate whether to let them talk and continue to lay here or go there and see what's going on. Who am I kidding, of course I'll go there.

I get up from bed, wrapping myself with the comforter; I'm still a little cold, and follow the noise. The closer I get to the living room, the louder their voices get and I can understand what they're saying.

"He's always so tough, except when it comes to being sick." Mom says.

"He's been good so far, but then again, he's been out most of the time." They laugh as I round the corner and see them sitting on my couch.

My Mom's back to me, with cups of something hot on the coffee table. Must be tea, Mom hardly ever drinks coffee. They both look so comfortable sitting there, facing each other with their legs tucked under them.

Like old friends.

"Hey! I'm not that bad." My voice is still raspy. They both turn.

"Edward, you're up. You should be in bed," Mom chastises and comes to me.

"I'm tired of being in bed, besides you two are kinda loud," I tease.

"I'm sorry dear, we were having a nice conversation." Mom cups my cheek and kisses both of them.

"I hope this is okay. I didn't mean to intrude; Rose called me earlier and said you were sick. I wanted to come and make sure you were ok. I should've known you were not alone." She says low enough for me to hear and her face looks like she's a little scared of my reaction.

I hate it.

I take a big breath and close my eyes. How do I feel about this? I knew I wanted them to meet and I've been fretting about how and when that would happen. I feel anxious about it, what they think of each other, but then I remember how I found them on the couch, laughing and talking.

Taking big breaths, I start feeling calmer about it. In the end, all the planning and getting worried about it was for nothing, it was the fact that they both care about me that brought them together.

How could I not feel happy about that?

"It's fine, Mom, actually, it's perfect." I open my eyes and kiss her forehead while I envelop her in the comforter. She hums and we stay there for a few moments.

I turn my head and see Bella standing by the kitchen counter. Her eyes are shining with tears as she looks at us. Her standing in the middle of my apartment makes me think of how much I want her to stay here, to be a part of this place as well.

"Ok, enough of this." Mom backs away and moves to sit on the couch, dragging me with her.

"How are you feeling? I know you hate not being in control, so this situation is not the best for you." I hear Bella laugh in the kitchen.

"Mom," I whine.

"But it's true, sweetheart. You always hated it when you were a child, even when you were sick often. I can imagine how you are now. Poor Bella."

"Poor Bella? What about me? I'm the one in pain here."

"Thank God women are the ones who give birth or else we'd be extinct as a civilization," She grumbles.

"Amen to that." Bella sits with us. Next to me. "But like I said, Esme, he wasn't so bad; actually, he's the perfect patient."

When she surprises me by kissing my cheek, I feel a little embarrassed that my Mom just saw this, but her eyes are so bright that I don't care anymore. She's actually kinda beaming at us.

"Thank you, Bella," I say while looking at Mom all smug about Bella's words. I _have_ been a good patient, I think. I hope I haven't been saying nonsense tough.

Mom rolls her eyes and for some reason, that makes me laugh really hard.

It's either the easy image I get of us here sitting like it's a normal Friday afternoon, or it's the medication.

"Edward?"

"Oh dear, his fever is back."

"No it's not, Mom. I think, I'm sorry, I think I'm hungry." I finally stop laughing and as soon as I said the words, Mom is standing up.

"I'll get you your dinner, stay here with Bella." And she's gone.

"Are you ok with this? That I met your Mom while you were sleeping?" This time I don't care what Mom might see, so I lean to her and rest my head on the crook of her neck. It feels so warm and she smells of apples, I could fall asleep right here and now. Wow, these pills are awesome.

"Yeah, I am. I can tell that she likes you already. S'all good."

I feel the vibrations of her chuckle on my lips by her neck. They feel all tingly now.

"Here you go, dear. Some chicken soup."

I eat the soup and then more sorbet on the couch, while Bella and Mom talk and watch me eat until the very last bite. They were very adamant about that.

I hear little of their discussion; the food is _that_ good and also because they are continuing with a conversation they started before I got here. The word dress gets my attention though.

"So now I only need to finish a few details and the dress should be ready right on time."

"Oh, I can't wait to see it at the party."

"Are you talking about Alice's dress?" I interrupt. "You will love it, Mom. It's gonna turn some heads that night."

"Actually, we were talking about Bella's dress."

"Bella's dress? You're making your own dress too?" She's making two dresses in little over a month?

"Yeah, what did you think? That I'd buy one? I don't have the money for that."

I actually never thought about that, I truly thought that maybe she'd buy one or perhaps let me make her one. Making Bella a dress would be very distracting, but an amazing experience.

"I dunno."

"Of course I'm making one for myself. Alice is helping me a little bit with the measurements I can't do on myself."

"How did you have time for that?"

"I have more time now. I kinda reduced a few hours at the shop with _Monsieur_ Grenier. It's not like I worked that many hours there, but now I'm taking more time to work on my own designs."

"Bella, that's great. Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because I just started this week with this new schedule and I hadn't had the time to tell you."

I again kiss her, because apparently, being sick makes me want to kiss her more than I already do. And that's a lot.

She tastes of blackberries and apples from the apple tea she had been drinking earlier with Mom. The sweet taste of her tongue and mouth is heavenly and it's only because I hear a throat clearing that I stop.

Right, Mom.

"And on that note, I'm leaving. I can see that you're in very capable hands, dear. I'll call you this weekend. Let Bella answer the phone, ok?"

She hugs Bella and whispers something in her ear before turning to me and doing the same.

"You've done well, Edward. I love her and I'm can't tell you how happy I am to see you like this. Not sick of course, but happy. Truly happy."

"I know, Mom. I really am." I smile and I feel more at peace than before.

"I'll be expecting you for dinner really soon then. You and Bella." She doesn't ask, only states.

"Of course." Now I feel the pressure being lifted, I always knew they would like each other, but I still got nervous about it.

"And that was my Mom." I hug Bella inside the comforter I'm still dragging around, after Mom leaves.

"I like her, she's great." She hesitates after a second. "Are you sure you're ok with this?"

"Yes. I'm glad you met. It was actually better this way, I would've made myself sick just thinking about it." More than I already do anyway.

"You? Worry? Pff." In this cocoon we're enveloped, her laughter almost feels warmer against my chest. Had it not being for the fact that my legs are starting to hurt, I'd stay like this with her.

"I know, right?" I say.

Never letting her go, we head for bed, it's nighttime and I'm exhausted already.

"Will you stay tonight?" I ask her. I really want her to spend the night with me.

"Um, sure. I'm gonna need some clothes though."

I let her borrow whatever she wants and then she joins me in bed, wearing nothing but an old t-shirt of mine. God, those legs again.

We cuddle and this time sleep is taking me, but not from the medication, I'm just really tired.

"Your mom is really nice. I see some parts of her in Rose."

"And she loves you, she invited us for dinner someday. Do you want that?"

"I'd love that, actually."

She rubs her hand on my chest and I rub mine on her back.

"So, will I see that dress of yours before the party?"

"Nope."

"It'll be a surprise then?"

"Yep."

"You won't say anything more?"

"Nope."

"You're great at keeping secrets, you know. And don't say 'yep'."

"Okay." She giggles against my chest.

"Now you're asking for it."

I have no idea where the energy comes from, but I bring her closer to my chest and start tickling her back and sides, she tries to squirm but I don't let her get away. Too soon though and since I'm sick, I let her go and I have to catch my breath.

"Edward! You should be sleeping!"

"And now you say full sentences."

"Shut up. You will not see the dress before the party so you'll just have to hold on until then."

"Alrighty then."

We settle back, I'm exhausted once again, and can't get any more close to her at the moment, with tangled legs, our arms around each other, her face on my chest. The bed feels too big for us, using only the right side of it, but it's our little world at the moment, the only place I want to be.

With her.

Snotty nose and all.

* * *

><p><strong>And there ya go, being sick sucks, but maybe not so much when you have someone taking care of you (well, duh).<strong>

**I know, the meeting with Esme and you didn't see it, lol. Just a mother checking up on her son to take care of him while he's sick. **No fuss, no nervousness. ** Life doesn't always have to be that hard, it can be simple and natural. Edward's just a nervous dude. However, I did write an outtake for this chapter, so you'll see more of the meeting. Well, you'll actually see the meeting, lol.**

**No pics this week, you know how sorbets look like.**

**Also, I posted a new outtake for this story last week, in case you want to read it.**

**Ok, next chapter... now that we have them in bed... wandering hands ;-)**

**Thank you for reading, sweeties, and have a nice Thanksgiving for those celebrating it and a nice Thursday for those who are not :-) I'll see ya in two more weeks.**


	15. Magazines

**Greetings, ladies.**

**And here we go again. I'm posting a day ealier because I won't have time tomorrow and not sure about Friday :-( **

**Anyway, glad you liked the last chapter, it was all about control. He doesn't have to control every aspect of his life, it's impossible, much like he can't control getting sick. And you know what? The world didn't end when this happened. *Le gasp***

**Many thanks to my beta Songster for her help :-) Any mistakes are mine, except italics, those are on FFn.  
><strong>

**I don't own Twilight.  
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**Ok, he's better, right? ...**

O~o~O~LB~O~o~O

**'Magazines'**

I wake up and I have this feeling that there's something missing. The room is still dark and when I turn to check on my alarm clock, I notice that it's 5:00 am. Waking up at this hour usually means that I just had a nightmare, however, this time I don't feel my heart racing or my lungs desperately trying to fill with oxygen. This time, I actually feel really calm and well rested.

I close my eyes and after a few breaths, I recognize that it's that sense of panic I'd normally have after such a night that's missing.

Now that I recall, it has been a while since I've had my usual nightmares. At least if I don't count the night I spent at Bella's, but that had been understandable, I had just recounted a story I never even wanted to know myself.

I try to move my right arm, and there is another thing that I notice that is different tonight: there is a warm body laying next to me. I look down and I find Bella curled up to my side, her hands tucked under her chin, her head resting on her pillow.

The room is dark but light from the outside leaks its way through the curtains; it's not much but enough to make me notice my surroundings. There are also brighter streaks of light that come from where the curtains meet the windows and since the bed is close to them, the rays hit it just right.

The bed almost looks like a bright island in a sea of darkness.

I can make out Bella's sleeping form laying next to me and the dark shadow of her hair flowing like a dark blanket over the light pillowcase. She looks so peaceful and not at all like the busy nurse who took care of me yesterday.

Yesterday, the day that I've been sick at home. The day when Bella met Mom and nothing bad happened. I smile into the dark room remembering how well they got along. I guess things don't always have to be so difficult.

I bring my free hand up to my face and I don't feel any heat. My fever must've broken, which is making me feel so much better at the moment. My limbs don't feel so tired, my body doesn't ache as much as it did yesterday and even my head feels less groggy and my nose is clear.

What a difference does a nice good night's rest makes.

I hate being sick and the feeling of not knowing what's happening around me. Some might say it's in my control freak tendencies. I say... they're right.

I chuckle, maybe some things won't change.

I feel Bella kicking my right shin and when I look down to our legs, I see that the blankets are tangled at our feet. I smile thinking that I must've pushed them down at some point. I'm usually restless when I sleep, and not able to stay under the covers for very long.

I can't be that sorry for doing so right now. Not only do I feel much less restricted like this, but also the action allowed Bella's legs to be exposed to the cool air of the room... and to me.

Crap.

I know I need to stop this ogling. It's too creepy to watch her sleep, to see her so vulnerable, but my eyes can't seem to stop taking notice of her body, her very _exposed _body.

I feel a small breeze and looking around, I notice that every once in a while the curtains move; the windows must be open. Bella must've done that at some point. With that, not only the room feels much cooler, but it also makes the rays of light dance across the bed. Sometimes they lay on her face, others on her arms and legs.

It doesn't matter really, because every time they hit her body I think I'm seeing a new Bella. Peaceful when it hits her face, sexy when it hits her legs.

All that light makes her look almost ethereal resting next to me. Her skin pale and almost shining with small glistening specks running from her ankles to her thighs; the contrast between light and shadows dancing on her face.

She truly looks otherworldly.

I want to run my hands on her skin, but that truly would be taking it too far. Instead, I have to shift away from her. All these thoughts are making my body react and _that's_ even creepier.

Ever since meeting her, I haven't stopped thinking about how she might feel against my hands. Even on that first day I wondered how soft her covered skin felt. Since then, we've taken things slowly, but I've been able to touch more and more of her hidden body. I love it and now that we've shared more of our lives with each other, the need to touch and discover her is only growing.

I want to know all of her, inside and out.

Before I move my hand to touch her, I change direction and bring it to my hair. Gripping it tightly, I almost huff in frustration at not being able to control my body.

"You don't have to take it out on your pretty hair." I hear from my right and quickly turn to the her.

"What? What do you-? How long have you been awake?" God, she saw me checking her out in the middle of the night. Great.

"You don't have to take it out on your hair; if you want to touch me, you can." I blink at her for several seconds. Did she just give me the go ahead to touch her while she sleeps?

"I woke up when you moved to check your clock. I thought you'd go back to sleep soon, but you never did. I just saw you reach out to touch me and then your hand moved away. Why is that?" I don't know why she's whispering, it's only the two of us here, but I'm glad she is. This situation is embarrassing enough without having the words out there in the world.

"Maybe you thought I was a creep?" Why am I asking this?

She laughs and forgets all about the whispering, the sound bouncing almost in sync with the movement of the light around the bed. I laugh along with her, I can't help it.

"God, Edward. Even though you watching me sleep is kind of weird, don't you know by now that I love your touch on me? Your hands on my skin?"

She shifts on her pillow and faces me more fully, smiling. The light now shines on her entire face, no more shadows on it. Beautiful.

I'm left speechless, because she's right, I've seen the effect my touch has on her and how much she loves it. I just don't want to scare her.

"And... I also know that you love my touch as well." She whispers huskily when I still don't say anything.

Next thing I know, and before I can even answer her, I feel her right hand slowly moving up to my chest. Her fingers tentatively move to my right shoulder, then to the other before going back down on my left side until reaching the hem of my shirt. Even though I'm wearing a t-shirt to sleep, this soft touch feels like fire.

She repeats this action over and over, touching my sides, my chest and then stopping where my t-shirt ends. My eyes never leave hers and with every passing of her hands, our breathing gets louder, the sounds filling the room. I can also feel my heart beating strongly against my chest and I'm pretty sure that she can feel it whenever her hand grazes that side.

Through it all, my hands are balled into fists, trying to maintain some kind of control, but then I remember that this is what she wants as well, she wants to touch me, and she wants me to touch her.

I move my left hand up to her right cheek, cupping it and caressing it with the pad of my thumb. I'm always amazed at how soft the skin there is. I trace her cheek bone from left to right and I smile when I feel a faint flutter at the tip of my thumb from her lashes when she closes her eyes.

I can feel her skin heating under my palm and I find the reaction so innocent and natural that I can't resist it and I have to lean in and kiss her blush. I start a kissing circuit at her forehead, continue to her cheeks and nose and then end it at her lips. I repeat it just like she had been doing a while ago to my chest.

There is no rush in the touching, no obligation in doing it, there is just the two of us in bed, going further than before.

"Are you still feeling sick?" She doesn't open her eyes when she asks me.

"Not much after sleeping all this time, but if you want to stop, we can." I don't want to, but I would.

Shaking her head, she finally opens her eyes. No doubts.

I move my body closer to her and push her softly to lay on her back. I'm hovering over her; I don't want to crush her, but I try to keep my lower body to her side.

"You've made your point, _girlfriend_; I like your hands on me. Now let me amend my mistake at not touching you before." I tell her and her eyes close for a moment.

I bring my lips to her face once again, following the same circuit as before, only this time, I don't stop at her lips, I keep going down to her jaw and then to her neck. I lightly kiss the faded scar that I noticed that first time by the fountain, on the left side of her neck and, not for the first time, I wonder how she got it.

She smells amazing, of faded perfume and apples, but behind those, there is this scent that is only her. I can't identify it but I'll spend nights like these in the future trying to figure it out. I can't get enough of it. I run my nose up her neck and I close my eyes. I'm completely surrounded by her like this.

My mouth keeps moving down and when she moans, I feel the vibrations on my lips. The buzz they leave there doesn't fade when I remove them from her skin. Her hands are fisting my t-shirt at the sides and when I look at her face, her eyes are closed and she's exposing her neck to me.

Our breathing is ragged and I can feel her chest moving against mine, pressing against me when we both take a breath at the same time. Pressing and pressing and it's never enough.

"Edward." She sighs.

My hands are behind her, supporting her under her shoulder blades and at hearing her call my name, my grip tightens.

"Was that enough for you?" I tease while I run my nose alongside her jaw and neck. I've become addicted to her scent. Maybe I can bottle it up.

"Never." I smile against her skin and tentatively start kissing her down her throat and collarbones again.

I keep going all the while feeling her hands moving up and down my sides. The combination of that and the touch of my lips on her skin is incredibly exhilarating. Everything feels so alive and that only spurs me on.

When I reach the first button on her shirt, I look up to see her face. I truly want to touch her more. These moments have been incredible so far, but I won't move on if she doesn't want me to.

When she notices that I've stopped, she looks down at me and knowing what I'm asking her, she nods her head and rests it against the pillows, all the while watching my every move.

I remove my hands from her back and move them to her chest. Slowly, without looking away from her face, I open that first button. Her breathing gets even more ragged and the grip she has now on my shoulders moves me to continue my path.

One by one I open each of her buttons, and every time I do, I press my lips in a short kiss on that newly exposed skin. That's the only moment in which I look away from her eyes, an every time I do this, she takes a deep sigh.

I stop when I reach the last button, without kissing that spot. That one had fallen right in front of her panties. My self control can only handle so much and hearing her pants and feeling her skin heat under my hands is making me want to take this even further.

When I look up from my spot at her navel, I see she's still looking at me, her hands still firmly planted on my shoulders. The center of her body is exposed from neck to navel, leaving only her sides covered by the shirt. I follow that path with my mouth and kiss my way up to her face, feeling her heated skin against my lips.

"Is that ok?" I ask her again, I want her to have control of this.

"God, yes."

We kiss and my left hand moves to her stomach, slowly moving the parted shirt aside. My hand caresses her hip and waist, and little by little I move it up her side. When I reach the side of her breast, I feel her stiffen. I break the kiss and lean back, looking at her.

"Is that too much?"

"No, you just caught me by surprise. It's been a while since..." Her voice is a little shy and I don't like that she feels like this.

"Ok. We can stay like this, we don't have to do anything more." My body might be protesting this decision and I'm glad I'm keeping my lower body away from her, but I mean it when I say this.

She looks at me for a few seconds, trying to decide what to do. Her eyes are a little sad and I know my answer.

"Thank you and I'm sorry. I do want you, it's just... I don't know." She sounds frustrated.

I move us so that I'm laying on my back and she's right at my side, her head resting on my chest.

"You don't have to be sorry, Bella. I understand it. I remember the first time I slept with someone after Renata." That had been an awful night. "It was just my body letting go to its natural urges, but my mind wasn't in it. When I got home, I went straight to the bathroom and threw up."

I can't even remember the name of that girl.

She nods and we stay like that for a few moments, I run my hands down her back and try to calm myself, and she does the same to my chest.

"I do want to feel you though." Her words are muffled by my t-shirt when she says them, but they are as clear as day.

"You do?"

"Of course I do. Please."

"Okay, we'll go slow then."

Moving back from me, she sits up and facing me, takes her shirt off, but leaving her panties on. God, she's gorgeous and brave to bare herself like this to me. Pale skin is revealed inch by inch and with the light from before, it looks like she's shining under the moon.

How the hell did I get to be so lucky?

I slowly sit up as well and remove my shirt, a soft breeze hitting my back and arms. Now her eyes are roaming over my naked chest, much like I am hers.

I take in all of her: her delicate arms and shoulders, her enticing breasts and soft chest, her curvy waist and hips. All in lines more perfect than I could've imagined. I suddenly have the urge to draw them, to put onto paper not the way she looks, but how perfect she is for me.

I move my hands to her body and do just that; I trace her lines like I would on a paper. I realize soon enough that I could never do it, I could never really finish a drawing of her. I retrace over and over the same curves and find new dips and scars under my fingers, a never-ending piece of art.

She's moaning and calling my name over and over and when it seems she can't take enough of it, pushes me gently to lay on my back, running her hands over me the same way she did before, over my shirt. Only now, my chest is bare.

If I thought her touch was like fire before, now having her touch me like this is simply scalding. Soft hands touching my muscles and skin. I see her eyes following their path, almost like it's the most interesting thing she's ever seen. She's studying me, much like I did her before.

She lies next to me and we shift so that we're facing each other, pressing our chests together. We both moan when our exposed skin makes contact.

I can't believe she can look even more beautiful. Now the light hits all of her body and that ethereal quality I saw earlier grows even more.

Wrapping our arms around each other, I move to kiss her lips. Yes, feeling her like this is more than I ever imagined it would be, but her lips are what I'm really addicted to.

I run my hands down her back, always memorizing and feeling what I thought about for weeks. I can't believe it's happening right now.

The next hour is spent just like that, touching and licking and discovering new sounds depending on where we touch. I find some ticklish spots on her body that make her giggle but that soon turn to moans when I press my lips and tongue to them.

She also finds similar spots on me and I'm not ashamed to admit that I do indeed giggle. That made her giggle back and repeat the action over and over to see if it was a fluke.

I also get my wish to discover the different textures of her body. How different the skin of her thighs is compared to her breasts.

She does the same to me, touching me everywhere she can reach and pressing her fingers to make me groan or moan and sigh. She says she loves the way my body moves and when I'm hovering over her, all she does is run her hands over my back, feeling how my muscles contract.

Just like that, the bedroom is filled with laughs and moans and hushed whispers as we keep exploring. There are even some quiet moments when we just lay there staring at each other. Maybe in contemplation of what the night turned into, or maybe simply enjoying the sight of the other smiling and mirroring our own feelings.

I often shake my head simply not believing what's happening, but then I touch her again and the reality of it all brings me back to the moment.

I also have to take a few moments to control my body, otherwise we'd be doing a lot more than kissing and touching. Of course I want that, but she's not ready yet and I don't want our first time to be filled with doubts. On either side.

We lay there once again, our chests bare and our hands greedy, because I still can't stop with the roaming. I notice that it's past 6:00 am and the light is becoming clearer in the room. It doesn't matter though, even without it, I've already seen and felt more of Bella than ever before.

Soon after, I feel her soft breaths across my chest and I see that she fell asleep, my name often on her lips.

Sleep is catching up with me and my eyes are already starting to close, the past hour not forgotten but draining on some level.

I kiss the top of her head and whisper a soft good morning before settling into the bed even more.

Comfortable beds, cool air and a sleeping Bella are the last thoughts I have before sleep consumes me. And even though it's welcomed, I know now that reality is much better than any dream.

O~o~O~LB~O~o~O

When I wake up once again, I feel light kisses on my neck. I smile with my eyes closed, just knowing that it's Bella. And the best part is that _I know_it's not a dream.

"I know you're awake, so stop pretending," she says against my neck.

I laugh when she hits a particular ticklish spot that I never knew about, but also, because she saw right through me.

"I just like this new way of waking up."

"Good, we might be doing this more often then."

I open my eyes and roll us over, I'm now on top of her, once again avoiding touching her with a certain part that begs for attention.

"Might?" I challenge her.

"Will then."

"Better." I nod, it's settled.

I check my alarm clock once again and I see that it's 11:00 am on a Saturday morning. We can stay like this all day if we want to.

"What do you say if we stay here all day? In my apartment or in bed, whichever." I try for nonchalant but I'm pretty sure that's not how it comes out.

"I'd love that. I was actually gonna draw today, I don't have to work, but staying here sounds better." She starts kissing my jaw.

"We can't have that though, you can draw here as well. I have more than the necessary things for you to do so."

My studio, I'll have to show her my personal studio. She'll be the first person to have ever seen it in the last two years, not even Rose has entered there, mostly because she doesn't care about it.

She'll see all my more personal projects. I find the thought nervewracking and exciting. No different from what she often elicits in me.

"Okay, then." She keeps kissing me, unaware of my inner struggle.

We get out of bed after a while and shower, separately. She was the one brave enough to be the first to bare herself to me this morning, but my control can only last so much.

I take a cold shower.

I give her another one of my shirts and she takes a pair of boxers to wear around the apartment. She doesn't know just how sexy she looks like that. Maybe she does, she smirks a lot when she catches me staring at her.

We prepare breakfast, I take more medicine for the last of my cold and talk about our week.

"So Alice asked me to babysit Aimée next week, so I'll spend an evening twirling like a ballerina."

"I bet you'd be lovely." I lean across the counter and kiss her. Maple syrup on her lips.

"You don't have to say that, you already got me." She swats my chest. "Besides, I suck at that, so I always end up tripping. I once broke a vase. Thank God Alice didn't like it, otherwise she would've had my head."

"Maybe you need someone to be there to catch you." Wow, I sound so lame.

"Really?" She gets up and takes our plates to the sink, turning around she adds. "Would you like to be that someone?"

"Wouldn't mind. I mean, it _is_for your safety after all." I stand up and stop in front of her.

"You're right, I wouldn't want to hurt myself."

"You think Alice would mind?"

"Not at all, although she might give us the talk about making out in front of her daughter."

"Then we'll have to kiss more to make up for that time."

Once again we kiss and it's settled, we'll be babysitting Aimée next week. I smile thinking how easy it is to make plans with her.

I can't believe how hungry I am. We have lunch of soup and sandwiches and I eat two of them, followed by a big scoop of blackberry sorbet on the couch. I think that might be the one thing that could compete for my attention to Bella.

She leaves to the kitchen and returns with a very familiar small box, a box of Pécou almond _dragées_.

"Where did you get those?" I can't take my eyes off it.

"Your Mom brought them yesterday, she said you loved them as a child." She opens it and takes one, bringing it to my lips.

Of course it's a blue one.

I close my eyes and memories of my childhood assault me. Afternoons of me and Rose separating the almonds into colors: she'd take the pink ones and I'd take the blue ones, the yellows and whites went to Mom and Dad.

Once I ate all of them; I'd sneaked into the pantry and climbed to the high cabinets to where Mom used to hide them from me. I was like a monkey on a sugar rush. Mom noticed what I did and often changed the hiding place; she did that with most of our candies.

I open my eyes when I hear a small gasp. Bella is staring at my mouth gripping the box in her lap. I smirk and when she sees that on my lips she lifts her eyes to meet my eyes.

"Want one?" She nods.

I take one out of the box, a pink one this time, and place it in her mouth. When she moans, I feel it on my fingers.

Almond _dragées_have definitely become my favorite candy.

Bella has to take the box back to the kitchen, otherwise I'd eat it entirely. She laughs while she disappears behind the door.

"Ok, do you have some pencils and paper you can lend me? I feel like drawing something." Such a simple question.

"Yeah, sure. Come, I'll show you my studio." I just realize that I never gave her a tour of my place, but she was here all day yesterday, I'm sure she knows the layout.

We stand in front of the door, Bella waiting for me to open it.

"Are you ok? You don't have to show me your studio, I can draw in the living room." All the while she's holding my hand.

"No, it's ok. It's just no one knows this place, it's just mine."

It hits me right there that I don't want that anymore, I don't want something like this just to be mine. Maybe it can be ours as well. She showed me hers and I know how personal a place like this can be.

With a deep sigh, I open the door and let her in first.

When I first got this place, my main priority was that I needed a big space for my studio. This is not the apartment that I shared with Renata, I couldn't live there anymore. So I got this place instead. It had four bedrooms and none of them were big enough for what I had in mind for my studio. In the end, I took one of the walls out and turned two bedrooms into one big space.

One of the walls is floor-to-ceiling windows; this side of the apartment has great light. Another one of the walls is full of implements to create the clothes: buttons, zippers, etc. It's very much like the wall in Bella's own studio. There is an area for mannequins that have different garments on them since I like to see how the clothes look before I take them to work.

But the most important space in this studio is right at the end of the room; it's the place where I work, where I create. There is a desk with papers on it and a couch nearby, facing the windows, just in case I need to rest for a few moments. I can't count the times I've fallen asleep there.

Behind it, there is a shelf. It's full of different books, since I'm always looking for inspiration. Most of them are of pictures: of landscapes, of black and white nudes, of architecture. There is even one of insects. That had been an interesting sketchbook.

There are also some pictures of my family; I don't keep them in the rest of my apartment. I find this studio feels more like home than any other room, a reason why I keep the most important things here.

"Come." I lead her to the desk while she surveys the entire place.

"This is amazing."

"Not much different from yours."

"Perhaps, but it has a different feel to it. More... homey?" Of course she picked up on that.

"It is, actually."

I stand by my desk watching her survey the studio. Her hands run over the fabrics, she reads the labels on some small drawers and when she gets to my desk, I know what her tiny gasp means.

"You like them?" I ask.

She takes the frame and turns to me.

"You framed them?" She's surprised but happy.

I smile. Of course I did.

Between the pictures of my family, my desk and shelves are now scattered with the photos of her and me when we went to _Jardin des Plantes_. The one she's holding right now, is the one I took just before leaving, at the entrance. I often look at it while I work.

"I have some at my office as well." That move was inspired not only because I wanted a photo of her close to me, but also by looking at the working stations of the people I work with. They looked so at home, making those corners more comfortable. I got sick of my office being so cold.

"I like this one." She traces her fingers over our faces.

"Then take it. I have the originals, I can get another copy." I kiss her forehead while she keeps her eyes on the photo.

"Thank you." On her tip-toes, she kisses me and holds the frame close to her.

She's happy from a simple photo.

A little later, I move to open some drawers and take out a new sketchbook and different pencils to work with. But when I reach the last drawer, I stop; at the bottom of it there is a project that I've been working on since I met her. I work on it almost daily.

Bella is now sitting in front of the desk smiling while she checks out the other pictures on my desk. I lay the things she'll need on top of it, but before she gets the chance to take them, I stop her.

"What is it?"

"I want to show you something." I take the sketchbook and I motion for us to sit on the couch.

"I've been working on this for a while. It's a secret project that for the moment is just mine, but you inspired it." I lay it on her lap.

She gives my hands a light squeeze and then runs her fingers on the cover.

"It's still a working title, the collection changes from time to time, so I can't decide yet." Now I'm way too nervous. Is this how she felt when she showed me her sketchbook?

"_Flottants à Paris_." She whispers and opens the sketchbook.

The entire collection was inspired by her, and in the end, it's _for_ her as well.

The first pages are full of drawings not only of clothes, but of her eyes and lips and hands, that day by the fountain very much engraved in my brain. I should feel a little embarrassed by that but she's blushing and smiling at the moment, so maybe it's not so bad.

The clothes on the pages flow according to our different outings: _macaron_ red ones on the first pages as well as dresses and blouses that fall like the fountain water where we first met. Then there are others that have a sad air to them, just like the day we saw that statue at the _Louvre_. Those drawings are of marble white clothes with black details.

The next section is very... weird. It was inspired by all those times eating at her place and at the marketplace, all revolving around food. The clothes shown there are not that special, but it's the details that make them stand out. Brooches and silver pins, like the ones we saw with Sylvie pull the look together in the simple dresses; textures that simulate the herbs we saw there, with fabrics folded in tiny pleats that simulate the look of chives.

Again, a very weird section.

"You liked that day." She smiles while reading some of my notes to the sides.

"Of course I did."

The next one is of our night out and seeing her playing the piano. The clothes in that one are not inspired by music, but of what I picture her wearing while playing different types of music. 1950's inspired dresses worn while playing Edith Piaf, flowy skirts that would go with Jazz.

"You have a thing for dresses." She smirks while tracing the lines.

"Dresses on _you_, I love your legs." I kiss her cheek, I feel much relaxed now that she likes them.

The last section is full of colors and textures, much like our day at _Jardin des Plantes_: greens and reds and yellows, all dancing in summer clothes. Some imitate the flowers we saw, even the insects and their colors. That had been an overload of sensations. That and Bella under the tree.

She closes the book and turns to me.

"I had no idea." Her voice sounds like she might cry at any second.

"Do you have any idea how humble I feel knowing that I inspired this entire sketchbook? Edward, you-" She can't keep talking so I pull her closer to me and rock her.

I didn't know she'd be so overwhelmed by this.

"This is what you do, I can't stop it." I tell her while she cries and holds the sketchbook.

Once she stops, I dry her eyes with my fingers and kiss her softly, I just want to calm her.

"Thank you." She whispers.

"Nothing to thank me for, it's all you. I should be thanking you."

While I put the sketchbook away, I see her checking the mannequins and the clothes there.

"That would look good on you." I tell her and circle my hands on her waist. We're looking at a wrap dress with no sleeves.

"It's pretty."

"Why don't you try it on? You must be sick of still wearing my clothes."

"I can?"

"Of course." I say while I take it down. It's ready to wear, so no pins to poke her.

Just when I think that she might head for the bathroom to change, she surprises me.

"Ok, turn around."

"What?"

"Turn around, I'll put it on here. I didn't bring any more underwear so it's just putting it on. I can do that here."

"Jesus." I groan and she laughs. "Are you sure? You can-"

"Yes, I'm sure, now turn around."

I do and face the windows, I'm pretty happy that even when this room has no curtains, we're high above and the next building is not close. I couldn't stand anyone seeing her through the windows.

When I hear fabric falling, I know she's naked... in _my_studio. The urge to turn is big, but I keep my eyes to the front, looking into the outside of the windows. It is then that I notice movement on the glass and realize that I can actually see her reflection on the windows, not very clearly since it's daytime and the light from outside prevents a definite figure, but it's there. A pale and slender figure moving, an arched back and wavy hair falling down, almost reaching her back side. A second later, it's covered in colored fabric and I can actually breathe again.

Jesus Christ, I know I saw her naked only a few hours ago, but my body still reacts to her. Will this ever stop?

I don't think so.

"Wait, why did you make me turn around? I've seen you naked." I tease without turning back.

"A girl's gotta have some mystery."

"_Now_you wanna be mysterious."

"Oh, shush. Ok, you can turn."

I do and I catch her twirling and smiling. She looks so young like that, barefoot with the dress dancing around her.

"You look beautiful." I say as I move forward to her to kiss her. She truly is beautiful.

After that, we sit on the couch and sketch. Well, she does, I watch her often. We tease and stop to kiss, more when she get all frustrated with her drawings.

"Hey, what's that?" She says on one of our breaks; I'm currently rubbing her legs.

"What?" I look to where she's pointing.

"That magazine right there, it looks off." I know exactly which one she's talking about.

I move her legs aside and walk to the shelf, removing that magazine, I return to her.

This is it, I guess.

"Edward? What's the matter?" She asks when she sees that all I do is stare at what I'm holding.

"This magazine... it's not really a magazine."

"What do you mean?" She looks surprised and checks what I hold in my hands. It does look like a regular magazine to anyone.

"Bella, when I told you about Renata and what happened," I take a deep breath and stare at the book on my lap, "there was a part that I didn't tell you."

I feel her hand on my back, moving in circles. She doesn't rush it or anything, just lets me breath.

"You see, when I found out about her and _James_, I had to take a good look at my life with her for the two years we were married, trying to find some point where I should've noticed things weren't okay. Of course I couldn't find one. But in that time, I was able to notice other things that happened under my nose.

"Her interest in my designs, and how she asked questions about them that she had no reason to. How to put them together, how to fix some details… I mean, she was in fashion, but why ask so many details if she wasn't actually making the clothes."

"Edward?" Her hand stops, she knows where I'm going with this.

"A year after we got married, a few sketches had been stolen from my office. I remember thinking what kind of person would do that. I worked with people who had my utmost confidence and just thinking that one of them broke my trust like that..." I sigh, I had been frantic, suspecting everyone around me. I even fired some people over it.

"I had been such a blind fool for not noticing that Renata had been the one taking those designs from my office. Even some from here, but I couldn't remember at the time if maybe I had left them at the office, so I never even considered that someone very close to me had been doing it."

"She gave them to James, didn't she?"

"Yeah, by the time I found about it, it was too late, my marriage was over and he had already used some of them. Nobody knows this, I had no way to prove it at the time, he altered them enough, but I knew the truth.

"There was no reason to not trust my _wife_. She stole the only copies of them. If I unmasked them, I would've looked like the scorned husband, nothing more." I shake my head at my idiocy. "Ever since, _nobody_ sees my work except the few that are authorized."

"That's why you freaked out when I asked to see your work back at your studio." I nod.

Now all final drafts are copied on different special papers: some with watermarks of the logo of my company, others that can't be copied or if they can, the pictures are not clear. I have been really paranoid ever since.

I look to her face.

"You know what the funny thing is? Once I realized what had been happening, I was more upset about that, than the fact that my wife had been sleeping with someone else." I chuckle humorlessly.

"The end of a marriage I could understand, but she had been undermining everything I had worked for, for years, my _life_. I was so angry that I felt it was something I couldn't let pass just like that. And as you know, I didn't." I smile sadly at her, she knows how this story ends.

"If she was willing to ruin my career just like that, I'd do the same to her. I'd take everything she loved as well. An eye for an eye."

I can't read her face, I don't know what she's thinking. She knows what I did and now she knows that there was much more to it, but I still can't justify it.

"What's in the _magazine _then?" Her hand is doing patterns on my cheek.

"It's some sort of safe. It looks like a regular magazine, but some of the pages are sketches on special paper. If anyone would browse through it, they would think nothing of it, but on closer inspection they'd find the hidden drawings. I have a safe behind the shelf as well. Even though no one comes in here."

She nods and takes the safe-magazine, going through the pages, she stops every once in a while.

"The book with your sketches I also keep in the safe, I must've forgotten to do it the other night."

Sighing, she places the magazine at the desk and then comes back to sit on my lap.

"You don't have to say anything more, Edward, I understand. I know of your trust issues, but I never knew this. I'm happy that you showed this place, that you trust me this much to do so. I can only imagine how you must've felt with me just entering this room."

I don't say anything; we stay like this. I don't think words fit the moment. She understands and knows that I'm trying to open up. Showing her this has been the ultimate proof of the trust I have in her and the importance she has in my life. Because I do, I do trust her.

The sense of vulnerability that realization gives me makes me tighten my grip on her waist and bury my face in her neck. It's scary but it also softens the burden of always looking over my shoulder, trying to control things.

I was wrong yesterday, utterly wrong. I'm not falling for her, not by a long shot.

I've already fallen.

* * *

><p><strong>He's definitely in love ;-)<strong>

**Ok, two big things in this chapter. **

**One physical, because omg was about time they did more than kissing, lol. And nope, not the deed yet, there needs to be one little piece fitting here before that. But they'll be more hansdy from now on, lol.**

**And, the last of Edward's story. I've hinted to this before and some of you have mentioned it to me. You're pretty ;-) So, in the end, there was not only his wife's cheating that drove him to act the way he did, but also the fact that she had been working to destroy what he loves, what he lives for. The main reason why he micromanages everything in his life, more when it comes to work.**

**Also, Pécou almond **_**dragées**_** are delicious IMO, also known as... Jordan almonds. I always eat the pink ones last, because in my mind they are the best and they must be left for last, duh. I know, I'm nuts, you have no idea.**

**Anyway, no pics this week.  
><strong>

**Next chapter… someone who starts with an E and ends with a mmett.**

**Thank you for reading, sweeties, and I'll see ya in two more weeks.**


	16. Introductions

**Hey there.**

**So, here we are again, with the last chapter of the year.**

**Glad you liked the last one, he shared everything with Bella and now he's vulnerable and nervous and plain ol' Edward, lol.**

**As per usual, many thanks to my beta Songster for her work with this chapter and this story in general. It has been very wordy months and she's been super patient and lovely.**

**One last time this year... I don't own Twilight.**

**Now let's see how meeting a new member goes...**

O~o~O~LB~O~o~O

'**Introductions'**

After spending the weekend with Bella, Monday at work didn't look so appealing, or Tuesday or Wednesday for that matter. Irina had to make space for new meetings and try to make this week's schedule work once again.

She had not been happy about me missing work on Friday, and she let me know very thoroughly, but it wasn't my fault, so she let it go. It also helped my case that other people had been sick last week, since apparently Peter, one of our designers, came back sick from one of his trips to London and we all caught what he had.

Fortunately, on Wednesday, I'm invited to have dinner at Mom and Dad's. Actually, Bella and I are invited, but she can't come with me, since she'll be working on some changes to Alice's dress at her house.

After the discovery last Saturday that I was pretty much in love with Bella, things have been strange. Not bad strange, just strange. Ever since, I look at her under a different light, almost like a veil has been lifted and I can _really_ see her. And what I see now is even more beautiful and special; I didn't know that could happen.

I had never been truly in love with anyone. Sure I loved Renata, but it was never like this. I had never been _in love_with her. With Renata, I never had the need to be near her all the time, to be constantly touching her and feeling her skin against my own, to listen to her opinions on anything, on even the most inconsequential of things. With Bella, this is something that is constantly in my head, making its way into my everyday actions.

That's the reason why I can't talk to Bella yet, all these feelings and pulls and non-stop thinking about her are making my head confused.

It doesn't stop me from doing it, though.

Does she feel the same? If she doesn't, will she some day? If she never does, will I be able to let her go? All these questions now cloud my mind and make me anxious about where things go from here.

I know I won't tell her yet; I need to know if I'm indeed in love with her. I also need to know if she feels the same. But if she doesn't, am I man enough to tell her anyway? To just lay it out there and be ready for anything? The fact that I'm even questioning this tells me that I'm obviously not ready to tell anyone yet.

No, I need to wait and make sense of things first. This might just be very strong feelings for her, but not quite love yet.

That's what I've been telling myself for the past four days at least.

I reach my parents' house and the sense of safety and warmth at seeing my childhood home after two years is so overwhelming. I have to take a few seconds to take things in.

Everything looks pretty much the same, I can tell Mom has been on top of things, painting the house and keeping the front garden alive. The house has three stories with four bedrooms, a playroom, an office and a studio. I smile thinking how Mom set up that last one for me years ago. I had been at fashion school at the time and barely made it home for holidays, but she still designed it.

With slow steps, and after Mom buzzes me in, I move to the main door. Every movement closer to the house brings a new memory. There is the corner where I built a fort with big cardboard boxes, and Rose constantly tried to get me to let her in as well. Or the old tree close to the right side wall where we used to climb up to the top and look into the street, that is until I fell and sprained my left arm. Every inch of the yard is filled with bittersweet memories.

The day is still a little hot, but in a few hours we won't have to worry about it. I always loved how the house looked when the sun was setting anyway.

When they first moved into the house, Mom built a small solarium in the back of it. During rainy days, Rose and I would play there and still have the illusion of being outside, but it was during sunny days that I truly loved it though.

The back of the house was built facing the setting sun, so the orange and gold lights fill the solarium from every angle imaginable. Rose and I used to take mirrors to reflect the light and make it dance all over. We also used to stick cellophane paper shapes all over the glasses, just to see how the rays of sunlight would look. It was a beautiful rainbow.

We had great fun in this house.

I move to the entrance and there is Mom, waiting for me with a big smile and an apron around her waist.

"Hi, Mom." I greet her, kissing both her cheeks.

"Hello, my boy." For a second she looks around the yard and then her eyes come back to mine. They look a little sad, as if she knows what I'd been thinking about.

She laces her arm with mine and guides me inside, to the kitchen I assume. The heart of all the Cullen women's houses.

As we approach, I hear voices and laughter coming from there and I know what I will see when we round the corner.

And there they are, Rose and Marie, decorating cupcakes with frosting and sprinkles and even gummy bears. Not touching that one. Dad is sitting at the table drinking, what I assume is his usual afternoon coffee. He just watches them and smiles behind his mug.

"Look who's here." Mom announces as we enter the kitchen.

"Where is Auntie Bella?" Great, now I'm invisible.

"She couldn't make it today. You don't want to see me?" I sit next to Marie and try to pout.

"I see you all the time, Uncle Edward. Not Auntie Bella." She gives me a look as if this is beyond obvious.

"Well, then I'll have to bring her more often." As if there was any doubt of that.

"Okay." And she turns to add more decorations to her cupcake. I think it might fall over on its side with all the weight she's adding to it.

Rose just rolls her eyes and Mom and Dad exchange small smiles between them.

After that, we spend the next hour talking and eating. Marie and I often steal bites of either the food Mom and Rose are preparing, or the dessert that is to follow. Neither is amused, mostly when I'm caught with a big piece of fresh bread in my mouth.

I also engage Dad in talking about his work at the hospital and listening to him recount his days there feels so familiar.

When I was growing up, we used to spend every dinner time like this, all of us telling each other about our day. I had been sick at home most of the time, so listening to Dad tell his stories about emergencies and rare medical cases was a welcome experience. Even when Mom didn't like that kind of talk at the table.

Just like then, Dad talks about his rare cases while me and Marie listen with rapt attention, only this time she's the one who asks about it.

"I will not have my daughter asking me about flesh eating bacteria, _Edward_. Stop it with the talk." Rose glares at me.

"_Dad_ is telling these stories! Not me! And it's _your_daughter asking all the questions." I laugh, which makes her more angry.

"Maybe, but you started this. You know Dad can shut up once someone asks."

"Hey!" Dad interrupts while Mom laughs.

We continue like this and it's so natural, I feel myself getting into the same mood and routine we lived under before I shut them out. It really feels like nothing has changed, even when we are definitely not the same people as before.

"Mhmm, Marie, this is one awesome cupcake you made here." Yeah, this kid has no future in baking. Is there cereal mixed with the gummy bears? And are these raisins I taste? I have to pretend for her sake, but it's taking every ounce of control to not accidentally drop it.

The rest of the adults are smirking at me. Really mature.

"Hey, what do you say if grandma and grandpa have some as well? And I bet your Mom would _love_to eat these delicious cupcakes; I bet she'd even eat two." Not smirking now, aren't you?

The death glares Rose shoots my way are epic, but I ignore her and continue to fake-eat.

"You'll eat two, Mommy?" She looks so hopeful at this, Rose has no other choice but to eat two.

"Sure, sweetie."

After everything is done, Mom and I settle for coffee in the solarium. Rose is reading to Marie at the living room and Dad is taking some calls.

The timing is perfect to sit here; the sun is just starting to set. I stare through the windows all around, taking in the details and looking past them, into the backyard. My eyes fix at a point in the corner of the yard. We didn't have a cabin like Marie, but Dad did build us a small tree house. One that is gone now.

"It's changed." I realize.

"What has?"

"The yard, the tree house, even the solarium."

"Time does that, Edward. We had to take down the tree house, it was falling apart. We didn't see the need to build a new one, Marie has her little cabin at her house." I turn to her, she looks sad. I kind of feel sad about it too, it was a big part of my childhood since I spent so much time here at home.

"Don't be sad, Mom. We can build another one." I squeeze her hand.

"I know that, and that's not why I'm sad." She keeps her eyes in the backyard.

"Why then?"

"It's you." Me?

"I always thought that your kids would play in that house, yours and Rose's, and after Marie got her cabin, there was really no use in building another one." She turns to look at me. "There was no reason for me to think you'd ever have to use it for your own kids."

Now she's the one squeezing my hand.

I stare at her for a few moments, not sure what I'm looking for.

She's right though; I gave up on that future and those plans two years ago. I'm not sure if I feel sad about the tree house because it's a reminder of my childhood or of what I gave up after Renata died: having a family of my own.

When things ended with her, all I did was concentrate on me, on what that did to me. I was so hurt and embarrassed and then, in the aftermath, ashamed, that I thought the best was for me to remove myself from everyone's lives.

Now looking at Mom and thinking about her words, I consider for the first time, that what happened back then, not only happened to me, but to them as well. As much as they didn't like Renata, they lost the future they thought I had with her as well.

And when I withdrew from their lives, they truly lost that future and dreams they had for me.

"God, Mom, I-"

"Edward, I'm not telling you this to make you feel guilty. I know that you pushed everyone aside because you felt ashamed of your actions. I just wished you could've talked to us, could've realized that you're our son and that nothing you do can make us turn away from you."

I knew that; I just didn't want to believe it.

"Edward, listen." She takes a deep breath, I'm sure she's been waiting to say this for a long time.

"I can't say that sending those pictures was the best thing to do, but you were so blinded by what she did, that of course, you sought revenge. Revenge is a normal way to feel under those circumstances; it was a way to try make things 'even', even when most of the time it doesn't work that way. I would've been more worried had you shown no emotion at all.

"It did have awful consequences, that's true; not only for Renata, but for all of us, even for you. We all lost _you_as well. Don't you think that hurt us as well?" She chokes at the end.

"I know, Mom. I'm sorry." What a lame line, but it's all I have at the moment.

"I know, honey, I know. And I regret not being strong enough to put my foot down and not let you push us away. It's something I'll always live with, but rest assured that I will not do it again."

"Mom-"

"No, listen please." I nod. "It was so hard to see that, by closing yourself off, you also lost your future. Is Bella the first woman you opened up to since Renata?"

"Yes."

"Had she not showed up in your life, do you think you would've ever considered marrying someone else? Dating even?"

I think for a second and no, before Bella, that was never a thought that crossed my mind. I just resigned myself to being alone. Why bother if all they wanted was what I could get for them.

"No."

"Edward, look at me." With her other hand, she lifts my chin.

"You made a mistake, but not because of the way you felt back then. Don't ever feel guilty for actually having feelings, even if they are revengeful, son. We're all bound to make mistakes; it's what we do to make them better and learn from them that counts.

"Don't beat yourself up for them. We all make mistakes. Do you think less of me for making the mistake of not fighting for you?" I shake my head.

"Then why do you punish yourself for the ones you make, nobody else does."

God, I handled things so badly back then. She's right, the mistake wasn't because I felt like taking revenge on Renata, the mistake was that I wasn't man enough to really deal with those feelings and the aftermath of what happened. I simply hid away and let myself believe that what I was doing was right for the rest. When in reality, it wasn't even right for me.

I feel so foolish and almost like a child when I think about the fact that I pushed them away at the time. Mom's right, I should've talked to them, I should've faced what was happening. What a fucking mistake was to remove myself from everyone's lives.

"You know, Bella said something similar when I told her about Renata." I smile.

"Well, she's a clever girl then." That she is.

Mom moves both her hands and cradles my cheeks; her eyes are shining with tears, but they don't look sad at all, they almost look hopeful. Hope: that's something that seems to be showing on her face a lot lately.

She looks like she might say something, but instead, she leans in and kisses my forehead. The sense of relief that washes over me is so strong, I almost want to lay down and fall asleep.

"Just feel, Edward. There's nothing wrong with that," she whispers against my forehead. It sounds like there is more to her words than what we just talked about, and I want to ask her, but something stops me. I'm not sure if she sees my feelings for Bella when she looks at me, but I'm not ready to talk to her about them. I'm _just_ staring to acknowledge them to myself.

We settle back into the small loveseat, just watching the yard and the retreating sun cast long shadows over the grass. It feels familiar once again and after her words, it feels comforting to just sit in silence.

"I like seeing you this happy." She interrupts after the sun is gone. Now the only light comes from a lamp in the corner.

"I am happy."

"She's good for you, you know. And you are good for her too."

"I know." I agree on both things. I can see how happy Bella is as well when we're together.

"Good, I'm glad you know that you can make other people happy as well. Not everything is awful in your life." I laugh at her words. She's right though, it feels really good to be the source of happiness for others, it makes me want to keep doing what I'm doing.

"Now I know, Mom. Now I know." I kiss her temple.

We sit in silence once again, both lost in thought. What she and Bella said makes sense and it makes me realize just how blind, and maybe stubborn, I've been over the last two years, believing at first that what I did to Renata was wrong and what I did to my parents was right.

In reality, I forced myself to believe that keeping away from my parents was the best for everyone, a way of punishing myself. It hurt to think about Mom and Dad and not being close to them was a way to punish myself for my mistakes. I was too stupid to see that they were suffering as well. I thought all I'd find in their eyes was disgust, when in reality, I would've found understanding.

So much hurt would've been avoided had I taken the time to talk and listen.

Moments later, Dad and Rose come into the solarium and the silence from moments ago, flies away. It's not unwelcome though, it feels good to be surrounded by laughter and easy talk.

Marie fell asleep after Rose read her a story, so it's only the adults.

My phone rings in the middle of one of Dad's stories.

Bella.

"Hello, beautiful." I say and move to the end of the room. Mom and Rose smile.

"Hey, you. Are you home yet?"

"Nope, I'm still at Mom and Dad's place."

"Oh, I'm sorry for interrupting."

"Don't worry, I've been thinking about you all afternoon."

"Me too." She sounds a little shy at admitting this. I can already picture her expression.

_"Ask him!"_I hear Alice in the background.

"Hey, so _Alice _was wondering if you wanted to come with us. We're heading to a small club in a few minutes and wanted to know if you wanted to come. But if you're still at you parents' then don't worry-"

"No, no. I'd love to go. We were leaving soon anyway."

"Oh that's right, you're with Rose there. She can come too. Alice and Jasper would love to meet her. If it's not too much for her." Always thinking about everyone else.

"No problem, I'll ask her. Text me the address of the club and I'll tell you if I'm going with her."

"Ok, I'll see you in an hour then?"

"Sure. See you soon, beautiful."

When I turn around, all eyes are on me.

"What?"

"Nothing." They all say at the same time. Real smooth.

"I assume that was Bella?" Mom asks.

"Yeah, she invited me to some club with her and her friends. You too Rose, if you want to go."

Rose looks a little uncomfortable but it only lasts a second. I know being surrounded by people is not very appealing to her, but she likes Bella and has been making the effort to go out more and more.

"Don't worry about Marie, she can stay here. You can pick her up tomorrow; you know she has clothes here." Mom tells her and I know it's because she's seeing her struggle with making a decision.

"All right. Tell her I'll be there as well." Rose finally says.

I mouth a 'thank you' to Mom and text Bella about Rose. Soon, we're leaving for downtown.

O~o~O~LB~O~o~O

When we get to this club close to _Rue de Rivoli_, the streets are busy and noisy as always. It reminds me of that one time we went out and I saw Bella play for the first time. I've only seen her play at that club and when we visited Rose and seeing how much she enjoys it, I think I might have to remedy that.

Bella is standing at the entrance of _La Lune_, looking from left to right until she spots us. Her smile is almost blinding, even with all the people obstructing my view of her.

"You made it," she whispers in my ear when I take her in my arms. Oh, I've been without her for too long.

"Of course, wouldn't miss it." We kiss and the smoke and the noise from around us dissipates. She tastes a little of alcohol and some fruit, I think.

"Geez, would you stop that, it's embarrassing."

"Sorry." We break the kiss and turn to Rose. Why did I bring her?

"Let's get inside. Alice is dying to meet you, Rose. And beware, she might ask you about your books. Ok, she will."

"Good luck with that, Rose doesn't share information about them. Not even to me, her brother."

"Shut up, why you would want to know about a children's book is beyond me." We follow Bella inside.

Just as expected, the place is full, but we still have space to walk between the tables. This club is bigger than the one from a few weeks ago, but it also has an intimate vibe to it. A few booths at the end and long bar to the side.

We see Alice and Jasper eating at a table for six.

"Hey guys, glad you could make it."

I introduce Rose to everyone and I have to smile when Alice pulls her to a seat right next to her, talking about this and that immediately. I scan Rose's face and body language to see if this is too much, if Alice is being too forward, but I find her relaxed. She even laughs at something Alice tells her.

"Don't worry, Alice can be a little bit too much, but she'd back off if she saw Rose uncomfortable," Bella whispers near me.

"I know, I just worry, you know? I haven't gone out with her like this, in God knows how long."

"Well, we're all here now, just relax," she says, while kissing my neck. That does anything but relax me; it distracts me though.

"Oh, you're evil." And because I can't help myself, I move my left hand to her right thigh and slowly start moving it up and down, each time a little closer to her hip.

"Now, who's being evil?" she asks a little breathlessly.

"Maybe we are both evil." I kiss her and never stop the movement of my hand. I love how she reacts to my touch.

I turn a little in her direction and lift my right hand to her cheek and caress the skin there. Under these dim lights I'm pretty much letting only touch guide me. I wish I could see her face a little better, but touching her is not bad at all.

One of her hands is around my wrist and the other at my neck. I guess she's doing the same to me, letting touch guide her.

I kiss her lips slowly and again that taste assaults me. I know it's from one of her fruity drinks, but there is also more in it. Much like her own scent, there is also something that is definitely her. And as usual, I can't get enough of that either.

Unfortunately, we break when we hear several people clear their throats.

"Couldn't keep it to yourselves for one second, guys?" Alice asks with her arms crossed.

"Sorry." We both answer at the same time, but we're clearly anything but sorry.

We order more drinks and fall into more comfortable conversation. Jasper tells us about his work with kids at the hospital and I can see Rose already likes him. It also helps that they have also a daughter, the same age as Marie, so all three of them exchange stories and tips.

Rose already knows about Alice being the owner of '_Mon Petit Paradis_' and being that she likes to bake as well, she tries to find out Alice's secrets. That is kind of a funny conversation, since Rose wants to know about Alice's baking and Alice wants to know about Rose's books. Neither of them share anything so their conversation makes no sense at all, with them cutting their sentences off right in the middle of something interesting.

They're both trying to make the other break. Not gonna happen.

Bella and I watch in amusement at how our friends and family get along and even disagree at times.

"So, Rose, are you going to the Gala next month? Bella is going this year as well." Alice asks and I know it's a simple question. I know it's something that anyone would ask, but watching Rose's face shows that answering is anything but simple.

"Um, no. I don't attend the Gala. But I send my writing to be auctioned." She sounds so shy, nothing like the woman who's been teasing and laughing for the past hour. Alice senses that too and thankfully doesn't ask any more questions on that subject.

"Then I guess we'll be bidding on those, right Jasper? Tell me what they're about." Jasper doesn't answer, not that Alice gave him much chance, and Rose relaxes by talking about her books.

All throughout the night, Bella and I have been touching: our knees in contact under the table, our hands entwined over it, quick kisses we steal whenever we feel like it. I even stop talking mid-conversation, turn to her and press my lips to hers, just because this feeling for her is so big I need to release it in some way.

She does the same and our friends roll their eyes.

We're in the middle of a conversation about movies when Bella starts waving her hand towards the door.

"Oh, there he is. Glad he could make it. Emmett!" I look to the door and there is this huge guy coming our way.

I've seen pictures of him at Bella's and I know a little about him from her stories, yet it's still a surprise to see him right in front of me.

"Hey, hey, hey, my lovely ladies. Sorry to be late, I almost didn't get out of the hospital." He gives a big hug to Bella and Alice and a hand shake to Jasper.

He then turns to me and to Rose. Rose looks uncomfortable as hell; she wasn't expecting this new guy at the table. I think we might be leaving pretty soon.

"Emmett, this is Edward and this is Rose, Edward's sister." Bella introduces us.

He grips my hand very hard and never takes his eyes from my face. I give him the same. He will not intimidate me. I understand though, he's protective of Bella and honestly, I wouldn't expect anything less than this.

But after a few seconds, he smiles so widely, I can't help but smile back. It's contagious.

"So I finally get to meet you, Edward. The guy Bella's been talking about non-stop for like a month." He claps my back and I almost fall off my chair. I hear Alice and Jasper laugh.

"Emmett," Bella hisses and covers her face with her free hand. We're still holding each other's hands.

"What? It's true, I'm always the last one to know everything. I'm hurt."

"You work a million hours a week. _We_barely see each other. When do you suggest I present you to new people?"

"I was free last week. But you couldn't get together, you had other _engagements_." He looks at me when he says that. "But I'll forgive you, if you make me new scrubs."

"What? Again? What the hell are you doing with them?" She's smiling at him, a kind of smile I've never seen on her. Brotherly love. "All right, all right, but this time, I choose the theme. Those clowns you chose last time were just scary."

"Deal, but nothing girly. Last time you wanted me to wear ones with dolphins!"

"What's wrong with dolphins? They're cute and smart. Oh wait, everything you're not." She actually sticks out her tongue at him.

Rose and I stare at them. Alice and Jasper just continue talking; clearly they've already seen them like this. However, I've never seen Bella act this way, like they're truly brother and sister and when I look at Rose, I know she sees it like that too. We act the same way.

I laugh and lean forward towards Bella.

"Don't be embarrassed, baby. You can ask Rose, I've been driving her insane as well with talk about you." I say against her cheek, feeling it warm under my lips.

"Great, we're both goofs then."

"And Rose, very nice to meet you." I hear Emmett. He holds his hand out for her to take and she eyes it for a few seconds. Just when I think he might retreat, Rose slowly takes it in hers.

"Nice to meet you too, Emmett is it?" I watch in fascination at how she never takes her eyes off his face. This is the longest she's ever held a man's touch and stare since that night with Royce four years ago. She usually shakes hands briefly and moves on.

The only available seat is the one next to her, which he quickly takes. When I look around the table, I see all eyes on this exchange. I know why _I'm_ looking, but why are _they_?

"Wow, that is the longest I've ever seen Emmett not flirt with a girl. I mean, your sister is gorgeous, Edward, yet Emmett almost looks nervous around her." I hear Bella say and then turn to the couple.

It's true, Emmett is fidgeting but smiling at Rose and she looks nervous, but not uncomfortable. This is like watching the first date of two fifteen year olds.

We order more drinks and keep on talking. From time to time, I watch Rose and Emmett interact and, again, I'm fascinated by the exchange. Rose talks to all of us at different times, but she often takes little glances his way. They're very quick, but they're there.

She even turned her body in his direction and I'm not sure she even realizes what she's doing, but they're getting closer and closer to each other. It seems almost natural for her to do it.

For short moments it's like they don't even notice us.

She ... likes him. Rose likes a guy and from the way Bella gives me little nudges whenever either of them looks at the other, it's obvious to her as well.

"See? We won't let anything bad happen to her. Now relax." And for the first time since Emmett got here, I actually do.

A little later, Bella wants to dance. I hesitate for a moment, I don't want to leave Rose alone with Emmett, even when there is an obvious attraction between them. I want to take care of her if anything goes wrong. Bella gently squeezes my hand and when I look at her, I can see that she's asking me to trust. Not only Emmett, a man I know for a fact would never hurt anyone, but to trust Rose as well, to let her take her own steps forward.

So I do, and with a little squeeze back, I take Bella to the small dance-floor at the center of the room. She seems to like dancing very much, maybe I should take her out more often. Just the two of us.

I still check the table from time to time though.

"You never told me how you met Emmett exactly." I say as we pass an older couple.

"Well, I met him ... six years ago? I think, while I was in fashion school. Alice was studying here in Paris at the time, but she visited me every couple of months in New York. One of those times, we ended up at this bar where Emmett was hanging out. He was so charming, talking to women, joking with guys.

"Our waitress said he was the son of the owner and he worked there from time to time, but he was also in college. He was a major flirter, something we could see from where we were sitting. About an hour later, he came to our table, introduced himself and sat down. Just like that.

"Not once did he flirt with us, he just talked and talked and there was something about him that made us relax. I know it was stupid, but Emmett has this thing about him, he just makes you ... happy." She's smiling, and I can see what she means from our interaction for the past hour or so.

"Anyway, Emmett was starting his specialization at the time, pediatrics, he's great with kids, and he wasn't working at the bar that night when we met, he was just visiting his Dad. We talked and drank until the bar closed and have been friends ever since. He always took care of us when we went out. I mean, he's huge; few guys approached us, much to Alice's dismay when she visited me in New York."

I can just imagine Alice not being happy about that situation.

"There was nothing he could've done when she met Jasper though. He was one of Emmett's friends, although Jasper was studying here in France. When he introduced them to each other, well, they never saw anyone else after that. It was just luck that they were both living in Paris. Talk about fate." Indeed.

"But how did Emmett end up here as well?"

"Oh, well. You see, Emmett's mother is French, she divorced his Dad, got re-married and came back here. Emmett always came back as much as college would allow back then. That's how he met Jasper, actually, on one of those trips."

"Wait, Emmett's half French?"

"Yes, but his father's Irish genes beat those up." She laughs while I twirl her.

"Anyway, when I came here four years ago from New York, Emmett and Alice really helped me, but Emmett was still doing his specialization back in the States, so he had to go back there. We talked on the phone a lot and even without his physical presence, he was a great support." I kiss her temple and let her continue dancing.

I feel nothing but gratitude for that man.

"About two years ago, his Dad died. Now Emmett had nothing to tie him to that city, he wasn't gonna take charge of the bar so he sold it to his cousins. His Mom was here, his half-brothers were here and his friends were as well. So he decided to move to Paris permanently. And that took him almost two years to accomplish, he knew French, but still, his qualifications needed to be recognized by the _Ordre des Médecins _or something like that. He also needed a firm job offer here, Jasper helped him with that and got him a spot in pediatrics at the hospital he works in"

"So Emmett's kind of new to Paris? I mean, to really living here."

"You could say that, I guess. Dip me." I do and I kiss her neck. Her giggles turn quickly into little moans.

"Oh you evil man." Yet, she smiles.

"I might've heard that before." I wink at her and we keep dancing around the dance-floor. Once again she's wearing a skirt, so she looks like she's floating around the room.

"You look pretty today." Her back is to me now.

"Thank you, I forgot you liked my legs." She moves her head to let me kiss her neck and stretches one of her bare legs in front of us.

"I don't think you forgot; I think you do that on purpose. I never should've revealed that info." I kiss her from neck to shoulder and back.

"Maybe not, but you did."

"Maybe I need to know something from you then."

With a quick dance move, she's back to facing me. Her smile is holding a secret, her eyes are full of mischief. Will she tell me?

"Ok then, fair is fair, _Monsiuer _Cullen." Slowly she moves her mouth to my left, I can feel her breath on my skin when she passes my jaw, my cheek and stops at my ear. Her hands are firmly holding my forearms, while she leans forward little by little.

"I love your arms." Her hot breath washes against my skin as she moves her mouth to my other ear, giving a little squeeze to my forearms in the meantime. "And your chest." Her hands now move there.

We're gonna get kicked out of this club if we keep this up.

"Really? Good to know then." Now I'm the one moaning.

"You do realize that when fall comes it's gonna be hell to see each other all covered up, right?" Her hands are making small patterns on my chest while she kisses me near my mouth.

"We'll move to a warmer place then." I feel her humming against my skin.

"Ahem." We both jump backwards and see Alice and Jasper dancing next to us. I look past them and notice Rose and Emmett talking closely at the table.

"Hey, you guys. Having fun?" Alice asks and silently curse her for interrupting.

"We're awesome, Alice, thanks for that."

"Hey, someone had to stop this. You were two steps from taking off your clothes."

"I wish." Bella is now close to my chest and I'm the only one who heard that. I kiss the top of her head.

"I think it's time for all of us to leave, don't you think?" Jasper says, the voice of reason.

We go back to the table and I almost feel bad about interrupting Rose and Emmett.

"Hey, what do you think about leaving? I have to go to work tomorrow." I think I'm the only one. The girls pretty much make their own work schedule and Emmett and Jasper have a few days off.

"Sure."

We get into cabs, Alice, Jasper and Emmett in one and me, Bella and Rose in another. Just before leaving though, we all watch Emmett and Rose say their goodbyes. We see them exchange phone numbers and little smiles.

I turn to Bella and this time we both roll our eyes at these two goofs in front of us.

Do _we_look like that? No wonder Rose teases me endlessly.

As we ride through the streets of Paris at night, I look at these two women sitting next to me. Strong and beautiful and so very brave at trying to not being stuck in their pasts. It's not easy for either of them, but they try.

I notice Rose checking her phone when she gets a text and from her smile, I can tell it's from Emmett. I can relate to the feeling of having someone in your life make a mark on it this fast. We'll be seeing a lot of Emmett it seems.

I look down to Bella, curled by my side and kissing the top of her head, I silently thank her for her presence in my life. For tonight I see that her influence reaches not only me, but also the ones around me.

That only intensifies the feeling in my chest.

* * *

><p><strong>Oh love. That fuzzy feeling will just keep getting stronger from now on. He just needs to say it. Out loud.<strong>

**And there ya go, Emmett. It only took 16 chapters...**

**I know it might seem a bit fast that Rose opened up to him this quickly, but remember, she's been wanting a connection with someone for years and finally her body is catching up, not recoiling when a guy comes close. They'll find their own pace from now on.**

**Next chapter... Bella talks.**

**In other news, I posted two O/Ss last week. They were both entries to two different anon contests, so only now I was allowed to post them under My Stories. One was for the 'Twilight Post Secret Challenge' (where it won 1st place Judges' vote and a pretty banner, among other things :-D ) and the other one was for the 'Season of Our Discontent' (which was my first time trying something angsty).**

**I have a few ideas for both of them, so there is a chance that I continue with both, one or none (if the ideas die or something) next year. I just want to finish writing LB first and this other little something I'm working on. ;-) So check them out if you want.**

**And that's it, the last chapter... of the year. Thank you so much for sticking this far, I know these kids move super slow and you've been incredibly patient, but I promise you we'll get them there.**

**I won't see ya until next year (can you believe it?), so have happy, happy holidays with your family and friends and everyone in between. I hope you're happy and get what you wished for and much more. Also, a Happy New Year and may next year be even better for all of you, pretty ladies. Hugs and kisses your way and stay safe.**

**Once again, thanks for stopping by and I'll see ya in two more weeks.**


	17. Plans

**Hello there.**

**Hope you had a nice end/beginning of the year. I can't believe it's 2012 already. Oy. **

**Anyway, I'm glad you liked Emmett and much like I said, it's only good things for Rose and him. Bella's presence in Edward's life affects everyone around him, much like his does in her life.**

**Many thanks to my beta Songster for her help with cleaning up this chapter. It was a bit different from what you'll see, lol.**

**And once again, I don't own Twilight.**

**Okay, let's see what kind of plans are we talking about here...**

O~o~O~LB~O~o~O

'**Plans'**

After Wednesday night at my parents, things look like they'll be much better from now on between them and myself and also with Rose. There's still a lot of work to do, but more and more I feel hopeful that we'll all get there.

And just remembering how Rose had looked at the club, laughing and blushing, I can't help but to smile and be grateful for Bella's presence in our lives. Without her, there'd be no Emmett to introduce. With the progress she made only two nights ago, I am simply in awe of my sister once again.

Unfortunately, with all of this week's work, I had barely been able to think of anything else other than schedules and fittings. It appears that every time I miss a day here, it ends up in disaster. The only good thing about today is that I'll be seeing Bella this afternoon for our babysitting date for Aimée. I almost feel like a teenager going over to my girlfriend's babysitting job.

I have to push that thought aside for the moment, because apparently, life goes on and here I am, at 9:00 am on Friday, at a staff meeting.

My life sucks sometimes.

"Okay, so what is next on the agenda?" I ask to no one in particular.

"The donations for the Gala are pretty much done now; they should be ready to send by early next week," says Kate.

"Okay, I'll be wanting to see them before they are sent out, of course, so schedule a presentation for Monday at the latest, please." Irina is sitting next to me, as usual, and takes notes and rearranges my schedule accordingly.

Lately, I've been thinking more and more about having a second assistant. Jane and Paul usually keep track of the designers on their teams and the changes that need to be made, since they're in charge of the fall-winter and spring-summer collections. However, there is so much more in between that doesn't fall into Jane and Paul's hands, just like the collection for this Gala, that having another assistant is sounding better by the second. An assistant that would take care of everything having to do only with designs and not meetings with accountants or potential investors.

It's not that Irina is not doing well, because she is; she's actually one of my most trusted people. I'd like to say friend, but sadly, I don't know that much about her and that's entirely my fault.

Every time I have these meetings with designers, I wish she'd give me some input, here and there, about what she thinks and such. Since Irina is not a designer and she's all business, I never get an answer when I ask.

A few months ago the idea for a new assistant never would've crossed my mind, but I have to start trusting the people I work with. It's tiring doing it all by myself and I want to see these designers grow and show their talent here. I've started doing this, opening up to my designers, ever since Bella came to my studio, into my life really, and this step feels like one in the right direction.

Of course, _I'll_ still have control over the main sketches and still keep them guarded here or at home. I'm not _that_ready to trust people.

In the last few weeks, ever since the time I yelled at her, I've been taking notice of Kate and her work. She _is_very talented and has grown a lot since she came working for me. So maybe she is truly the best option for this job.

"Are things ready for Paris Fashion Week next month? With that and the Gala at the end of the month things will be pretty tight. I don't want anything to go wrong." I look at Paul, he's the one in charge of the spring-summer collection.

"They're well underway by now, but as usual, you always seem to make last minute changes," he teases and I smirk. I can't be mad at his words; they're true.

"Hey! It's those last minute changes that make this company work. You still have a job, don't you?"

"You're right, Edward. You're right." He holds his arms up in surrender. "You take notice of so many details, I don't know how your head hasn't exploded by now." They all laugh or smile. I do the same as well, and the atmosphere is much more relaxed now that I actually take my time to listen and talk to them.

I think even Irina smiles.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah."

We continue with the meeting and after two hours, we're done. I'm truly exhausted and it's not even noon yet. This is one of the drawbacks of having a big business; there is so much that goes on that has nothing to do with the actual business and the things that do, can be very stressful. Deadlines, search for the right models, set the right theme for the shows: the list is endless. Sometimes I wish I could work only as a designer and have nothing to do with all of this.

"And that's that. Nice job, people." We say goodbye, but before Kate leaves, I ask her if she could stay for a few moments.

I notice that Jane stays close to the door and eyes both Kate and me.

"Is there something else you'd like, Jane?" I'm not liking the way she looks at us.

"Oh, no, Edward. I'll see you later then, okay?" She slowly turns and leaves.

I have no idea why she did this. It's not like she knows what I'll be saying to Kate, and besides, Jane has a higher position than Kate so why would she care if I talk to her?

"Is there something wrong, ?" Kate asks nervously.

"I've told you to call me Edward, Kate. And no, there is nothing wrong. Actually it's good, at least I think so." She looks worried; I'm doing an awful job at reassuring her.

"Here's the thing, I've been watching you in this company. You've been doing great work over the last few years and I think you can do more than that.

"At the moment, I'm in need of a new assistant who would come with me to these meetings and keep track of the designers, the changes I recommend, etc. I'd also need someone who can give me her honest input, no bullshit. And I _know_ you can do that." I've seen her fight passionately about hem lengths.

"I know it sounds almost like a step down, being my assistant and all, but I offer you an opportunity to work personally with me on some projects. Also, you'll have to keep track of them and make sure they meet the deadlines, except for the ones Jane and Paul handle. I deal with them directly. I just need someone who can be with me on everything that deals with the most basic of it all: creating.

"You can take your time thinking about this. Like I said, it could sound like a step down, but I think you can learn a lot about the business and it can actually be a step forward into being in charge of bigger collections in the future."

She looks surprised and only stares at me, she doesn't even blink. Maybe the offer was not good enough, maybe I offended her with something this basic. I'll need to start looking for this new assistant then.

"Kate? You don't have to answer me right away, you can take your time and don't feel obligated to say yes, 'cause I-"

"No, no, no. I'm sorry, Edward. This was just a surprise, that's all. It's just... wow."

"Oh, well, give me your answer as soon as possible though. I need to know if I have to look for a new person."

"No!" She yells. "I'm sorry. I mean, no, don't look for someone else. I'll take it. I'm just really honored that you chose me for this. I mean, I'll be working directly with the boss." She's almost jumping now. I guess the offer wasn't so bad after all.

"Honored? Well, I don't know about that, but yes, you'll be working with your cranky boss." I chuckle. "That's settled then. Like I said, you'll be working directly with me so I'll be the only one assigning you to projects, no one else. I need you available constantly."

From the way she smiles and leaves my office almost skipping, I really can't regret doing this. I'm sure she'll do very well.

When I called Bella at lunch later on, she was very pleased when I told her about Kate and what I was planning on doing. She said that it was great that I was opening up at work and keeping my promise to her that I'd try to do this in every aspect of my life.

My life, the life that has been changing so dramatically and yet, slowly ever since she came into it.

O~o~O~LB~O~o~O

"Well, hello, Edward. You're finally here; Bella's been driving me crazy with talk about you." Alice greets me when I get to her house.

"Alice!" I hear Bella yell from the living room.

"I've been missing her all day, so I know the feeling." I kiss her cheek and we make our way to where the girls are. I see doll dresses, food and a lot of pink everywhere in the room. _A lot_ of pink. It seems like Aimée and Bella already got comfortable for this evening.

It's probably sad that a twenty-eight year old man is actually used to being surrounded by this much pink.

When I get closer to the couch, Bella lifts her eyes from the doll she's trying to dress. I laugh at her, not only does she look like she's struggling with it, but also, she has sparkly make-up on. Her lashes, her lips, and her rosy cheeks. Aimée has been experimenting.

"Don't laugh, _Monsieur_ Cullen, she has surprises for you too and I might not stop her."

I still kiss her shiny lips, but don't laugh at her anymore. If Aimée is anything like Marie, I know what kind of surprises she might have in store for me.

"Mhmm, you taste like cherries." And she feels so nice against my chest, I forget why we're even here.

"Lip gloss." Now I want to lick those lips and have a taste without the cherry gloss. They're usually much better.

"Am I gonna have to leave the nanny-cam on in order for you two to behave? Because I will." We both turn to Alice and Jasper standing at the entrance of the living room. They're both smirking at us.

"No need to, we'll behave." I say and I feel Bella giggling against my arm. Why is she giggling? I get the answer a second later when she wipes something from my lips. Shiny lip gloss. Great.

"Ok, but I'm more worried about Bella than you Edward. Don't let her break you." Jasper winks at us.

"Hey!"

"What? It's true."

"Would you just go already, or else you'll have to hire a sitter from now on."

Alice and Jasper laugh and after saying goodbye to their daughter, they leave for the evening.

"Where are they going, by the way?" I only agreed to come here and keep Bella company, but never realized exactly why, except for babysitting Aimée.

"They're meeting some friends from out of town. They're gonna be here only for a day and they never get to see them, so I offered my services to take care of the kiddo here."

Aimée is spinning and singing out loud around the living room. I'm a little concerned that she might hit some of the furniture, but most of it has been moved around already. I guess to avoid exactly this.

"That was nice of you." I move my lips to her neck. I keep an eye on Aimée, but she still doesn't mind us.

"Well, she pays me in pastries, so it was a done deal after that." She says that last part with a little moan.

"That _is _a good deal." I keep my kisses up and down her neck, smiling when she grabs my arms. The arms she loves. I might've kept my sleeves rolled up.

"We need to stop, the kid is here." Yet, she doesn't move away.

"I know and we will." I don't move away either.

We stop when we hear a loud thump and when we turn, Aimée's on the floor, laughing like crazy, trying to stand up again and falling down once again.

"The room is spinning!" She tries to say in between her laughter.

"Thank God there are cushions spread on the floor, otherwise we'd be making a trip to the emergency room," I say and sit on couch while Bella gets Aimée settled.

"Well, I'm always ready for these kinds of situations. Last year she tripped with one of her toys and I had to take her to the emergency room. I cried all the way there with her, thinking that I broke her. Emmett was on call that night and did a nice job on her though.

"I sobbed like a baby when Alice and Jasper got there, I felt so bad. Alice reassured me that everything was fine and that accidents happen."

Something similar happened to me with Marie, although in that case, Rose almost died of a heart attack. She yelled at me all the way home from the hospital, then apologized crying, afterwards.

"Well, it's true, but it still kills you to see them crying and vulnerable."

"Exactly. I feel almost like padding her entire body like a bubble of safety. I don't even want to know how it will be when I have kids of my own," she says as she picks up some toys.

"Bella, I'm hungry," Aimée whines and puts on a crown.

"Okay, Aimée. Are you hungry, Edward?"

"No, not really. Maybe some coffee though?" I think I might need some coffee if we're gonna stay up for Aimée.

"Ok, I'll be right back." And she's gone to the kitchen with Aimée in tow.

I go around the room, looking at the pictures on the shelves and walls. I feel like I might be intruding, but Alice and Jasper _did_ invite us to their home. Bella is in a lot of them and I notice that there are a lot of her holding or hugging Aimée.

I notice that, much like Bella's place, the living room is full of pictures and souvenirs from their travels. A baby Aimée at the hospital, her first steps, Christmases here in Paris. And in all of them, there is Bella, smiling or crying with happiness.

She's had a life here, even when pain consumed her often. She's lived, unlike me, who hid.

I smile seeing her face behind the glass, wearing goofy smiles or funny costumes. It makes me think about her words earlier. She wants kids someday. Of course she does, just seeing her with Marie or Aimée, I can tell that she'd be a good mother.

Kids.

Wow, I haven't thought about having kids of my own in a long time, even when I see Marie more often than not. Yeah, it's great being her uncle and spoiling her but my thoughts stopped there, I just couldn't let myself imagine a future like that anymore. I pretty much forced myself not to make plans after Renata died. What was the point?

But now, do I want kids? I know I did at one time in my life, desperately; it was just that the woman who I thought I'd spend the rest of my life with didn't feel the same about the idea. Renata never wanted to even be associated with kids. She barely interacted with Marie and thinking back, she never paid much attention to any of our friends' children either.

But lately, I think more about the future than ever before. It was usually work centered: what my next collection would look like, what kind of ideas would work in the next show, etc. But now, I think about the future in other aspects of my life.

And almost all of them include Bella.

Where would we spend the holidays? Would her family like me? What to get her for Christmas? How proud I'll be the day she launches her own collection to the world.

All scenarios that I never considered before now play in my head constantly. Everything intensifies when I spend more time with her, her scent and her touch always make me want to do anything just to keep her near me.

That's when the plans start forming. What do I do to make her stay, or more like, what do I do to make her _want_ to stay.

I've never drafted my future like this before... and now it includes kids.

A smile forms on my lips just thinking about children running around a large house here in Paris. A boy and a girl in footed pajamas with printed cupcakes or cars on them, their faces smeared in chocolate from breakfast. Their mother laughing and running after them to get them clean.

These fantasies used to be more generic; it was just a general idea of my future. But at this moment, standing here in Alice and Jasper's living room, I can see an actual face in my plans.

Bella's.

Something new is sketching before me, changing its lines, adapting to what may come next. Colors and details are getting clearer and the final picture is not finished yet, but I'm getting more curious as to what it will look like now.

I shake my head for a second, I was never hit with something like this with Renata. Even with her, the plans for the future stayed more open than anything. But staring at Bella's face in the photo, I can see an actual future for me, for _us_. It's overwhelming and a little frightening, but also... right.

Before long, Bella comes back with Aimée and I move away from the shelf.

"Here, careful it's hot." She hands me a steaming mug of coffee.

We settle in the couch and Aimée talks and eats and makes jokes. Just like Marie, she gets distracted with new things often, so for the next thirty minutes, she almost looks like a blur in front of us. And much like Bella said, Aimée did have plans for me.

Ribbons might've been involved and cell phones might've been confiscated.

A while later, we put on a movie and make ourselves comfortable.

More often than not, I move my eyes from the screen to look at Bella. Her face shines with the glow coming from the screen and seeing her laugh at silly jokes makes me laugh back. From time to time, she senses that I'm staring at her and she gives my hand little squeezes.

Soon after, Aimée's asleep and the movie is over. I have no idea what we just watched.

"I'm gonna take her up to her bed. I'll be right back." She picks her up and leaves the room.

While she's gone, I try to help with the mess around the room. Bella got here a few hours before me, since I had to work, so she and Aimée had been playing with dolls and make-up for hours and the mess proves it.

Bella comes back quietly and helps me get things in order. She knows where everything goes and we work in silence. It's nice.

She picks up a blanket and together we fold it, then she picks up the dolls while I hold the box where they go. We work well together and don't even have to ask for the other's help to put things in order.

"Would you like some wine? The kid's asleep and she won't wake up until Alice and Jasper get here, maybe not even then."

"Oohh, a naughty nanny, aren't we? Wanna make out in the couch too?" I wink.

"If you play your cards right, we just might."

"Okay then, getting you drunk could actually work to my advantage."

"God, we're the worst babysitters ever." Shaking her head, she goes to get us our drinks.

"Here you go." Settling down once again on the couch, I take a sip of my red wine and feel the warmth travel down my throat. It's a little sweet and after a few smiles with Bella, I lean forward to kiss her lips. God, she tastes even sweeter now.

"Do you think, Alice would pay you in pastries if she saw us like this?" I ask, kissing her neck.

"I'm pretty sure she would. She's been trying to set me up with guys for years. She'd be happy that I'm getting groped."

"Then let's not disappoint." I laugh breathlessly.

And like two teenagers, we keep on with the touching and kissing and grabbing. We had to set our glasses aside, since we almost dropped them to the carpet.

"I think we should stop," I pant.

"I know." And thank God she moves back.

After getting our breathing back to normal, I mention the photos I saw earlier.

"I love Aimée. I saw her when she was born, even though I begged Alice not to let me in the delivery room, but she said she wanted her friend there. I swear that experience scarred me for life." She shudders and I laugh.

"She was born not very long after I got here, so I was not in the right state of mind to enjoy the experience, but Alice insisted and I caved. I can't say I regret it now, well maybe a little, you know." She motions to her crotch, I almost choke on my wine. "But seeing that tiny baby made me realize that even though there might be much pain in my life, there can be joy as well.

"I've seen her grow, fall, cry, laugh and everyday I'm amazed at what she says and does."

I feel the same about Marie.

We sit in silence for a few moments. Her smile at seeing the photos and sharing her memories of Aimée, slowly fades. She looks serious but most of all, she looks sad. I don't know what she's thinking about, remembering, but her hand is grazing the skin on her neck, from left to right.

"You see this scar on my neck?" She tilts her head and removes her hand. I nod.

I know that scar, I don't even have to see it. I even noticed it the first time I saw her. A pale line in an already pale skin. I've been meaning to ask her about it, but every time I touch it with my fingers, she seems to draw back a fraction. There is a story behind it that I guessed she might not be ready to tell yet.

"Do you remember what I told you about me leaving New York?" Again I nod, slower this time; I'm scared for what she might share next.

"A year before graduating, I met this guy, Jake. He was a photographer, older than me, that worked mostly with fashion models, so it was easy for us to be in the same environment. We understood each other, the sacrifices we needed to make, the pressure of it all."

She closes her eyes and shakes her head, as if she can't believe her own story.

"You know about that last year, about how much I needed to work to get the money for my own line. I worked nights and every free second I had between classes. Everything was very stressful, but Jake and I made it work.

"The thing is, a couple of months after we started dating, Jake's behavior started changing. He got very angry sometimes, at the smallest things. When we went to parties, the few I had the time for, and a designer wanted to talk to me about my work, he would get jealous. At first I thought he was exaggerating about that, but then I realized that he wasn't jealous about these men, he was jealous about the attention I was getting for my work."

What?

"You see, Jake never wanted to work in fashion, but that's how things worked out in the end. It was a paycheck after all. He wanted to be a reknowned photographer who would travel the world and take pictures of important events. He hated the fashion industry, yet I knew he slept around with some of the models from time to time. I foolishly thought he stopped that when we started dating."

I can't believe that asshole. He was not only jealous of her success, but also cheated on her? He should've been proud and encouraging.

"The more attention I received, the more angry he got and more fights filled our days. I was fulfilling my dream and he was stuck. I had been so busy putting together my collection that I thought it was the stress of it all. I mean, how could he be jealous of me? I just chalked it up to stress; I thought after the year was over, we'd be fine again.

"The day I got the funding had been great, everyone was happy for me." Her hand starts moving a little faster over her scar, almost like she's trying to erase it. "Well, almost everyone. When I got home, I did not find the same sentiments coming from Jake. He was furious. Apparently someone had told him about what happened and he hated that I wasn't the one who did. It was just an excuse of course, he needed to lash out, to blame me for something, anything. I had tried to call him, but his phone was off."

Now she's shaking a little, so I move closer to her, taking her in my arms. Much like that time we shared on her rooftop, I want to take care of her and wish I could make these memories disappear.

"He screamed and cried, and said awful things. He changed from anger to jealousy to being scared that I was gonna leave him after I was famous. He made no sense at all. I had never been more afraid in my life than when he demanded that I refuse the funding. He was a completely different person at that moment, a monster."

Her breathing is labored and she closes her eyes. I can only imagine the images she's replaying.

"I can't remember what happened after that very well, but the neighbors heard the noise and called the police. I awoke two days later in the hospital with my Dad, Alice and Emmett by my side."

Two days? That bastard could've killed her. I could've missed meeting her and having her in my life because some asshole couldn't stand that she was more talented than him?

I find it very hard to contain my rage, but for her sake, I do it. I tighten my grip on her and feel tears soaking my shirt. Like this, feeling her warm against my shirt, even with her tears, I can feel that she's here, that's she's okay. Alive.

But two days? He went crazy with her and what if-?

"Bella, did he-?" I can't even say the words.

And when she shakes her head, I think I can breathe again.

"My Dad blamed himself for not seeing the signs and that was one of the reasons for me to leave for Paris as well. I couldn't stand him feeling guilty for something that I had been hiding from everyone. I was the one who didn't want them to see it, kidding myself that things would get better."

Hearing her words brings back memories of Rose and what she went through. She also felt the need to hide things from all of us, feeling ashamed when in reality it was Royce, that piece of shit who broke my sister.

At least we won't be seeing him anymore.

"What happened to _him_?" I can't even bring myself to say his name.

"He's in jail now, from what I know. I know he can't hurt me, but I couldn't stay there anymore. Everything was a memory of how weak I had been." She places her left hand on my lips, stopping me from replying. There is no way she's weak.

"I _was_weak, Edward, I was. What if I had broken up with him months before? Or that night, what if I had fought back? I should've done that, I should've fought back."

I close my eyes and think about her fighting this guy, the action could've set him off even more.

"Listen to me, Bella." I lean back and look at her face. "There was nothing you could've done at that moment. You said it yourself, he transformed right in front of your eyes. From what you say he was crazy, maybe even on drugs or something. He wanted to hurt you and he would've done that no matter what, maybe even come back later to finish the job." That thought makes me sick.

She takes deep breaths, the faint scent of wine still in her mouth. Tears still fall from her eyes and I move my hands to wipe them. How could she think she's weak? Can't she see how she moved on and actually _lived_ after that?

Moments pass, I just keep drying her tears and trying to erase her memories of that time. Then... she smiles.

"There it is." I kiss her eyelids and feel her sigh against my chin.

"You're right, and it took me a while to see it. I'm not weak anymore, I got better and Aimée was a big part of that recovery. You see, I never thought of kids before coming here. I just thought it would be something that might happen one day, but it wasn't set in stone.

"Seeing her and watching her grow has taught me a lot about life and how good it can be, how good it _is_. I want a future, Edward, and that past will always be a part of me, always, but it made me the person that I am now. Now I want all the things I took for granted at times, kids, a house."

She looks at me so seriously and almost trying to see something in my own eyes.

A future, she wants a future. Much like I was thinking before, maybe she sees me in hers?

"Bella." I choke and run my hand through my hair. She's saying so much and putting into words the same plans I didn't know I wanted this much before knowing her.

"And thanks to you, I want a career again. For a long time, I felt like designing was what made Jake act that way, like if I succeeded in that, I might get hurt again. It's stupid, really. I mean I knew I had some talent, I won the funding after all, but Jake completely tainted everything to do with that for me. That's why it took me so long to even pick up pencil. I just couldn't." I think about how she acted when I first wanted to see her sketches, she was very hesitant and almost afraid to do so. Her words from a while back return.

_Garnering attention to myself wasn't something that worked very well for me when I was in New York._

Of course she was afraid, but I'm not this guy. I could never be like him, one of the few things I'm certain about.

"I would never stop you, Bella, never. Nor do I want to, you know how much I want the world to see how great your designs are."

"I know. And that support has helped me take those first steps to creating a line again. You have no idea how grateful I am for that. You've woken me up, Edward, and I never thought that would happen again."

Her words floor me, _I_ woke _her _up? Most of the time I feel it's the other way around; that she was the one to shine in my life, shine so much that it's affecting everyone I come in contact with. I can't help the overwhelming sense of gratitude I feel for this woman in my arms. It's so strong, that all I think about is kissing her.

And I do.

This time, I pour all these feelings into it, telling her that I think she's someone to be treasured not harmed, someone to be loved, not pushed down. But most of all, I want her to know that I want to do all those things, that I _will_ as long as she'll let me.

When I open my eyes, there are no more tears in her eyes, and they shine much clearer now.

"So you want kids, huh?" I say after I kiss her.

"Yes, I do." She laughs at my sort of random question.

"What else do you want? Besides the house and the kids and the career?"

She looks like she might say something, opening her mouth to speak, but a second later she closes it, changing her mind. I don't know what that was, but her face seems to be looking for something in mine. I'm not sure what it is. When she finally speaks, I'm certain it wasn't what she initially wanted to say.

"To travel too and maybe design other things besides clothes."

We continue to talk about what we want for the future, which places to visit and who to meet. And I relax, realizing that much of what she wants is similar to my own plans, plans I barely knew I had. We never say that we see these things with each other, but in my mind it is with her. And I'd like to think the same happens to her.

After Alice and Jasper come home, I take Bella to her place. All the way back there, I feel there's something new in the air around us, it feels less dense. Something doesn't oppress us anymore. I hadn't even noticed it had been.

Bella finally told me about her life before coming here, everything about that time and I did the same when it came to Renata and my actions. And with it all, we're still here, still holding hands as we walk to her home.

And I realize that's what has been lifted between us: the strong hold to our pasts, a hold that kept us from really moving forward.

After tonight, I feel like I can truly breathe and plan and actually _live_ again, completely.

When we get to her door, Bella turns in my direction and cocking her head, she asks, "Edward, would you like to come with me to Seattle to my Dad's wedding? I want the two of you to meet. I'll understand if you can't make it, it's at the end of November and I'm going for two weeks and-" Now she's rambling.

Meet her Dad? Images of the guy I've seen in pictures around her apartment giving me the third degree for dating his daughter, flash before me.

It makes me grin.

"Bella, you got yourself a date." I cut her off with a kiss and my hands on her back. Which seem to work just fine.

"Come upstairs with me? For some coffee or something?" And the way she say 'something' almost makes me run up the stairs. Almost.

I nod but before moving from this spot, I take a good look at her. Her warm eyes, her soft skin, her long lashes. It's just the exterior of someone who is much more beautiful on the inside. I see this strong woman before me, someone who went through a lot and still believes in the good of people, something that I still find hard to do. I can't believe she's with me.

Feelings of love tighten my chest, it's that powerful tug near my heart that I've been feeling for a few weeks, now stronger than ever. Only tonight, I truly realize that it will not go away ever again, for it is a tie to her. The woman I love.

Now, I just have to figure out how to let the words out of my mouth.

* * *

><p><strong>Oh man, Edward trusting other people to handle things at work? Who would've thought? It does give him more free time to do... stuff and all.<strong>

**And there you have it, Bella's story. Now they've both opened up to each other more than they have to anyone before. Vulnerability is a scary thing.**

**Not only was Bella reluctant to trust men altogether, but also, Jake's actions made her feel bad about what she loves. It also took away her drive to even draw simple lines. It's Edward's presence in her life and his words of encouragement that has helped her see that there are other kinds of relationships out there. You know, healthier ones.**

**No pics this time, not even of E with ribbons all over. Boo.  
><strong>

**Next chapter... meaningful words will be uttered and Bella will meet the last of the Cullens: Poppa C. ;-)**

**And that's it for this week, thanks once again for stopping by and I'll see ya in two more weeks.**


	18. Lights

**Hey there, pretty ladies.**

**And here we go again. I'm glad you liked the last chapter, now everything is out there in the open, they just have to say those three little words...**

**Many thanks to my beta Songster for her help. Any mistake is mine or FFn's and italics.**

**I don't own Twilight.**

**Now, let's see...**

O~o~O~LB~O~o~O

'**Lights'**

As soon as I got home last night after our babysitting job, Mom called me and _told_me that we were all having dinner with her and Dad on Saturday.

Yeah, she left no room for arguing when she said that. She had been wanting to get Bella to join her and Dad for dinner for days now, so this time she was not taking no for an answer.

All I was left to do was smile and tell her that we'd be there.

I knew I had to ask Bella about it, but I knew at that moment she wouldn't say no. After meeting Mom last week, every time I mentioned her to Bella, she would smile and get a little shy. She had also been taken by surprise when Mom showed up that day at my apartment, but after that, it seemed they really hit it off.

So, when I told Bella about dinner this morning, she indeed got all excited about it and now here I am, leaning against her bedroom door, watching her move around the room getting ready to head over to dinner.

Since Bella and Mom already met a week ago, I find that I don't feel nervous about them seeing each other again tonight. I'm actually getting more and more excited about it. I saw how well they got along and I know tonight will be more of the same.

As for Dad, even though he's the only one who hasn't met her, I worry even less about his reaction. I know he's heard about Bella through Rose and Mom, so he knows what to expect and also because he's a great judge of character, I know Bella will have no problem with him.

As I watch her go around the room, I smile thinking how different my life is now: dinner dates with my family and my girlfriend, visits around Paris just the two of us or with our friends, even getting ready to go out for the night seems to be something that fits into our routine these days.

"Where are those damn things?" I'm startled by Bella's voice and when I focus on her, I find her rummaging through different drawers, looking frustrated.

"What's wrong?" I ask, while I move to where she is.

"I can't find these earrings Alice got for me."

I wrap my arms around her waist and giving her little kisses from her shoulder to her ear, which make her calm down.

"Mhmm, that feels nice. Who cares about some earrings?" She sighs while resting her head against my shoulder.

I curse the dinner date we have in an hour.

Even through her clothes, I can tell the effect I have on her. She shifts a little and sways from side to side and in the end, she melts even more against me.

"You look beautiful like this," I state. It's simple and the truth.

"You don't look so bad yourself."

I look up, getting a little frustrated for only being able to feel her skin through her clothes, and find her looking at me in the reflection of the mirror in front of us.

She looks a little flustered and I look... well, the same. She does that to me every time and after that night spent together in bed in my apartment, I crave her even more than before.

I'm also smug enough to know that I have the same effect on her.

"What has you smiling like that?" She asks but she looks like she knows what I've been thinking about.

"That I wish I had said no to my Mom."

"I thought that wasn't an option." She laughs and her head falls back against my shoulder. God, she looks so pretty all the time.

"I know, but I could've tried." Not likely.

"Keep telling yourself that."

"Oh believe me, I do."

I go back to kissing her neck and then move to her other side. We're gonna be late but who cares anyway? Besides, Bella doesn't seem like she wants to keep looking for those earrings anymore.

I feel her hands gripping my hands that are at her waist and that makes me tighten my hold on her. Now that I know she likes my arms, she feels freer to explore them. A second later, I hear her tiny moans and I'm all but lost in her.

I turn her to face me and go straight to her lips. Those lips that always call to me, those lips that taste sweeter than anything else, but also say things that always keep me coming back to her.

God, I love her lips.

We kiss and our hands move freely between us, frantically touching the other over our clothes. I touch everywhere I can reach and I'm pretty sure we're gonna have to get ready again before leaving the apartment.

Again, damn dinner.

Unfortunately, all too soon, Bella breaks our kiss and resting her forehead against my chin, we try to recover our breaths.

"I think we should leave soon, or else we'll be late to dinner." I know she's right, yet neither of us move.

Past her shoulder, I see the time on the clock by her bed and realize that we're already a little late. I consider it for a moment and I don't think Mom will mind that much, but if Rose is going to be there as well, she'll know what held us up and will tease me endlessly.

I much rather make out with Bella here at her place, but endless teasing doesn't sound too appealing.

"Okay, let's get this over with." Slowly, I step back, making my way to sit on the bed and let her get back to getting ready.

Space, we need space between us.

"All right, then. I guess we _do_have to make an appearance." She sighs and turns back to look for her earrings.

I take deep breaths, calming myself, I miss her touch already, and go back to watching her, a little amused when she still can't find them or when keeps checking herself in the mirror and rearranging her top.

I look around her room and see the mess she made when she tried to find the perfect outfit for tonight. Skirts, sweaters, dresses, all laying around in different surfaces. Usually this would drive me crazy in my own place, but somehow looking around it, I can almost picture all of this in my own bedroom.

The image of her things scattered around my tidy apartment: her family photos, her silly coffee mugs, her clothes in the laundry room, doesn't seem out of place somehow, it's almost like they would belong there amongst my own things.

Ever since the first time I came here and saw how much life her small apartment has, my own place seems so bare and cold. I always knew it wasn't the most warm place in the world, but now having been here, the comparison is inevitable.

I envy her home.

Until now, I have only used mine as a place to sleep and pass the time, but not really the place that I _live _in. The couch is not used to watch movies on weekends; the kitchen is not to make a mess trying to put together Friday night dinners; the dining room is not to entertain friends.

It's just _a place_.

The only room that has any semblance of life is my studio and that is only because designing is the only thing that I feel passionate about, so it shows on every surface. But now with Bella, I'm finding things that I never thought about before are actually kind of fun: going to the market, visiting the zoo, eating ice cream in bed.

I look up and find her staring at me, her hand holding a lipstick. She looks at me the same way she did that night at her house when I told her about Renata and her cheating. She's just _seeing_me, no pity about my past, no worry about what I might say or do, probably because she now knows everything there is to know about me, there are no secrets between us anymore.

She opens her mouth, but no words come out; her eyes keep moving from left to right, searching for something in my face, but she doesn't seem to find it; even her breathing is different, a little fast, and it makes me remember our frantic kissing from a few minutes ago, but it doesn't look like that's the reason for her being breathless right now. She almost looks nervous.

Something flashes in her eyes, just for a brief second and I think she might finally say something, but the moment passes when we hear a loud noise from the outside and her eyes go back to her task.

What was she going to say? Why did she look so _anxious_?

I'm about to ask her when she speaks again.

"So tell me," she shakes her head. "Has Rose told you about her and Emmett?" She asks nonchalantly, _too_ nonchalantly.

I know this wasn't what she wanted to talk about, but she obviously doesn't want to bring the subject up. So, I follow her lead. She'll say something when she can.

"Not much, really." I see her getting frustrated with the little information I give her. I knew she'd ask me this at some point.

I just smile.

"You know something." Now she's looking at me and I might be a little scared of her glare.

"What do you mean?"

"You're smiling all smugly. You know something and don't want to tell me." Whining, she now makes her way to me.

"Emmett is not sharing anything and that's just weird, he freaking _over-share s_all the time." I cringe, I really hopehe doesn't start sharing things about my sister. Maybe I should have a 'big brother talk' with him. To warn him or something.

"But the fact that he's not doing that," Bella caught my expression, "means that this is different for him, special. Which sucks for me, because I don't know anything now."

Now she's pouting.

Bella sits on my lap and for a second I forget what it was that we were talking about.

"Well, I'm glad about that then," I say against her neck. "But really, I don't know much more than you do. Rose was never one to share much about her love life." Which sadly reminds me of everything she didn't share about Royce.

"But I _did _talk to her the other day." I lean back and see her eyes shining with curiosity.

"It wasn't so much _what_ she said, but more as to _how_ she said it. Her voice was... different. Happy and maybe even giddy. It was so odd to hear that tone in her voice again. It's hard to explain if you don't know her, but it's there."

That had been such a surprising phone call. She was trying to be all cool about meeting Emmett, asking me what I knew and what I thought about him. I didn't call her on it, but I knew she'd talk to me once she figured things out.

As usual, Rose is been cautious, thinking before acting. More now that she has Marie to consider, but I think is more her heart that she's guarding.

She often spoke of how much she'd been wanting to get close to a man, to have a relationship again but her body never let her do that, it always closed off and she recoiled from every man's touch. It killed me to see her frustrated about it, to want to talk normally to a guy she liked and then almost have a panic attack when he touched her or got too close.

But now everything is so different, her body is finally in sync with her mind. She didn't recoil from Emmett's touch that night at the club, she even kept turning his way all night. I think she's caught off guard by it, now that the prospect of a love life is actually in front of her.

"Emmett is much the same. I saw him the other day and he kept getting this look, I don't know, like he was thinking about something, or _someone _else. Like I wasn't even there."

I know the feeling, I do that a lot when it comes to Bella.

"Oh yes, I know the look. Very bad for productivity." I wink.

"Well, maybe we should see each other more then. You know, so you don't waste your time only _thinking_ about me." I'm okay with that plan, especially when she giggles as I give her neck a quick kiss.

"But seriously, it might've been weird to hear Rose like that, but I can't say that it's a bad thing. For years, I never had to worry about her and guys, she could handle herself very well." Until Royce of course. This makes me bring Bella closer to me, just thinking about what she also went through...

With small kisses to my face, Bella eases that tension.

"So now, I just want to take care of her, you know? Like I should've back then, when she needed it the most. And at the same time, I don't want to smother her." This is so frustrating, to find the right balance.

"I know, it's new territory for everyone, even for Emmett. I think you should just let her set her own pace. You two are close, she'll talk to you when she's ready. I know you don't know him, but I can tell you that he won't push her, he's scared as well."

"He's scared?"

"Of course he is, he hasn't been in a serious relationship in a long time. Not that he hasn't dated, but still. Don't worry too much, much like us, they know their pace."

And of course she's right. We're going slow and that works for us, Rose and Emmett will figure things out.

"When did I get such a smart girlfriend?"

"She's always been there, from the start. I just give little doses of my awesomeness."

I laugh against her neck and touch her skin with my lips. The things this girl says: funny, smart, silly, beautiful. Much like her, much like _everything _about her.

A loud ringing breaks my kisses and it takes us a moment to realize that it's my cell phone. We're always in our own little world.

When I see that it's Rose, I know that we're already late and that the torture will start.

"Yes, Rose?"

"Mom asked me to call you to tell you to get your ass over here. So get Bella off your lap and come to dinner."

"How do you know Bella's sitting in my lap?" I hear Bella giggle, but still she doesn't get up.

"Isn't she?"

"That's besides the point." Why am I arguing this?

"I didn't know, I just guessed. You confirmed it. Now get over here." And she hangs up.

I'm just left there, staring at the silent phone. What did just happen?

"So, I guess we're already very late for dinner?" Bella asks and starts giving me little kisses to my face and neck.

"Um, yeah. Maybe we should go then. But, what are you doing?" I ask her when I feel the light nip of her teeth in my skin.

"Well, I thought if we're already late, a little kissing won't hurt... much." With a little more pressure from her body, she pushes me back and now we're laying in bed with her on top.

"Good thinking, _Mademoiselle_ Swan." I laugh against her lips and we're back to kissing and being late for dinner.

God, she feels so good and slowly I feel my body reacting, and from her little moans, I can tell she's reacting as well. I move my hand to lift her top from her waist and start tracing my hands over her exposed skin. It feels overheated against them and little by little I continue to lift the fabric. We might as well call Mom and tell her we're not going.

That is until I shift to get more comfortable and a sharp pinch in my elbow makes me stop.

"What the-?"

"Oh, there they are!" She lifts her earrings that apparently have been under us this whole time. She looks so happy holding them up for me to see. And it hits me that's the kind of thing that makes her happy: finding her missing earrings. This is my life now, _our _life, filled with little things like this.

"That hurt, you know."

"Oh, you big baby." She rolls her eyes but smiles anyway.

"But it did." I rub my elbow and sigh at the loss of our moment. I guess I'll see more of her skin another time.

With a final roll of her eyes, she kisses my elbow and slowly lifts off of me. I wince a little, I already want her against me again.

"Okay, we really need to go and we have to stop at the bakery."

"Why?" Why get up? Why go to bakery?

"Well, dessert of course." She looks at me like it's the most obvious thing in the world.

I guess it is.

Twenty minutes later, we're entering the bakery where Bella greets everyone there.

"_Ma belle! _Good to see you. What are you doing around these parts?" This guy asks from behind the counter and looks at Bella like she's the only here. I'm not sure I like this look.

"Henri, how are you? And what do you mean by that? I live upstairs." She teases.

"I know, but you never come here anymore." It is then that he looks my way. He's curious about me standing so close to Bella, but when he sees our hands linked his eyes harden a fraction.

"Yeah, I'm sorry. I promised Laurent to come more often and I have been so bad at doing so. Work, work, work."

"I know what you mean." He's still looking between me and Bella and when she notices, she turns my way.

"Oh, I'm so rude. Henri, this is Edward, my boyfriend. Edward, this is Henri, a friend." I actually feel a little bad for the guy now that he heard the word boyfriend. It's obvious he likes her.

"Oh, well. Nice to meet you." We shake hands, just a little too tightly.

"So what brings you here then?"

"I placed an order earlier. I'm here to get it."

"I'll go see."

"He likes you." I bring Bella close to me and whisper close to her.

"Edward, please. You have nothing to worry about. Can we talk about this later?" She doesn't sound annoyed, but more sad than anything. Why is she sad?

Just then, Henri comes back carrying a box.

"Here you go."

"Thanks, Henri. I'd love to stay and chat, but we're actually late for dinner."

"Don't worry, _belle_. _We'll _catch up another day." Once again, he looks at me. Now I feel mostly annoyed, it's not like she owes him an explanation.

"Nice meeting you, Henri." I'm mostly being polite.

"You too, Edward."

We leave and catch a taxi to my parents. All the while I think about this guy and the way he was looking at her. I'm actually feeling _jealous _of him. I almost snort at that, I can't even remember the last time I felt that way.

I know we've both dated in the past, and maybe she had something with him. She's said she hasn't dated since she came here, but they didn't have to date to be together, they could've- No, not going there. Bottom line, this guy has feelings for her.

I also realize that as much as we've talked about our pasts, we haven't actually talked about past relationships. I think it's time. Just not at this moment, since we arrive at my parents all too soon.

O~o~O~LB~O~o~O

I look around the room and I watch all these people I care about talk and laugh.

Dad is nodding as Marie tells him a story about her dolls and her friends. I'm pretty sure he has no idea who she's talking about, but he nods either way. Two weeks ago, when he asked her questions and interrupted her story, she rolled her eyes and with a huff, started all over again.

He's not repeating that mistake again.

To my left in the kitchen, I see Rose, Mom and Bella talking and laughing as they set things out for coffee. Dad had been eyeing the box Bella carried with her ever since we got here.

She didn't let me help her carry it from the bakery, said that I was too much of a risk. Woman of little faith.

Dinner had been great. The food was amazing, Bella and Mom shared tips and recipes; conversation had been easy with Bella and Rose talking about her books; and now dessert looks even more promising.

Marie sat next to Bella at the dining room table, or rather demanded to sit next to her, and had been dying to show her the progress she's made with her piano lessons. I told Bella that she'd been practicing more and more ever since that time at their house and how Rose was happy about it, since now Marie doesn't get distracted that much. They had even been practicing some duets.

As I knew it would happen, Dad had been nothing but smitten with Bella. Yes, smitten. None of us could believe it when we saw it. He was worse than Marie at times, trying to get Bella's attention by telling her about his work and such. Bella listened intently and even shared some of her own stories when she was little with him.

"You look at her as she might disappear at any second." I hear my Dad saying next to me.

When I look back, I notice that Marie is humming quietly with her toys.

"Kid kicked you out?" I smirk.

"Yes, apparently she saw that I had no idea who she was talking about. Told me to come here and keep you company. She's so much like Rose sometimes." He chuckles and his eyes move to watch the women in the kitchen.

I remember. Rose had such a strong personality when she was little. I might've been the older brother, but she certainly bossed me around a lot.

"So, about Bella..." He turns to me and leaves the statement open.

"Yeah... Bella."

"I like her."

"Really? I hadn't noticed." I tease him and I think he even blushes a little. Carlisle Cullen blushing, now that's something I haven't seen.

"Yeah, yeah. She's very charming, you know. Your Mom, Rose and Marie haven't stopped talking about her for weeks. It's almost like I already knew her."

"I bet they have."

I hear loud laughing from the kitchen and both Dad and I turn again in that direction. All three women are leaning closer together, talking softly. I wonder what they are discussing.

"And there it is, that look again." He interrupts, but I never take my eyes away from Bella.

"What look?"

"That one you've been making all night. The one that it's almost like you can't believe she's there in front of you."

"You see too much, old man." And he's right of course. Half the time I have to convince myself that this is happening to me.

"I'm not that old, and I certainly know what love looks like."

I move my head to look at him and stare wide-eyed at his face. Did he just-?

"How-? What-?"

"Oh, Edward." He chuckles and pats my back.

I'm not sure what to say to him. Tell him that yes, I love her? That I'm scared that she might not feel the same? I know I love her but haven't said it to her. Maybe not saying it would buy me time until I know how she feels about me.

I look up and and see her there, always laughing and smiling and just lighting up a room and I know, just know that I love her. No questions about it.

"How can you tell?" I whisper to my Dad.

"Because it's the same way I look at your Mom. And from what I can see, the feeling is mutual. Can't you see that?"

Can't I? Of course I can't, otherwise I wouldn't doubt so much.

The next second, Mom lifts her head and looks our way. She smiles at us, but her eyes fixate on Dad and shine, the way they always do when she looks at him. She loves him and he does as well. With everything they've been through, with everything _I've_ put them through, it has been that love that's helped them, made them into the strong couple they are now.

For years I've longed for that, to find and share a relationship like theirs with someone else, and after Renata I resigned myself to the fact that it would not happen for me. But now? Now things are much more different.

Bella notices that Mom's not into their conversation and looks our way as well and when she finds my eyes, I all but stop breathing. Not only because this happens to me every time she does that, but because I find the same look in her eyes that Mom has been giving Dad for the past minute.

Her eyes shine with a different light, her skin glows and the corners of her eyes crinkle with her smile. She looks so happy and beautiful, but there is something else surrounding her, like a brightness that I haven't noticed before. Then I look at Mom and I know.

Bella _radiates _love.

She's looking at me with love and even some peace, as if she knows that everything is as it should be. The image in front of me reminds me of the look she gave me earlier today: it was the same one.

"How can you be so sure?" I try to think back to my exchanges with Bella in the past weeks, trying to find more clues of this.

"Because I'm not that blind. Although, _you_ seem to be apparently."

"I just-"

"Don't worry, Edward. You'll tell her when you feel like it's the time and she will as well. Although, I have a feeling that moment is coming very soon. I wonder how you have lasted this long?" He sounds amused.

Great.

"Do you think she knows?"

"I think she does and much like you, she's waiting for the right time."

That makes me smile, as usual, she's probably giving me time to think things through at my own pace. But at the same time, I feel sad that she has to do that. I appreciate it more than words can say, but she shouldn't feel like saying those words to me would break me.

Then again, am I not waiting as well?

"And here we have it: dessert." Mom comes in carrying a tray of pastries with Rose and Bella following closely behind. I hadn't even noticed that I'd been in my own head for so long.

"Yay!" Marie runs to the coffee table to grab some cupcakes.

"What's got you thinking so hard?" I feel her fingers lightly running along my forehead, smoothening the surface.

I take her hand and kiss her wrist and her palm and fingers. She has no idea how her touch takes everything away.

I look at her and consider what my Dad said earlier. It seems that she loves me back and the more I think about it, the more clear it is. The way she looks at me, takes care of me, her infinite patience. I almost want to smack myself for being so blind. I want to tell her right now, simply tell her that I love her.

The words are right at the tip of my tongue; just three simple words and my world will change. And the thing is, I find that even if she doesn't say those words back, the fact that I let her in is more than I could've ever hoped for.

It's surprising all of this doesn't freak me out anymore.

"Uncle Edward, this is for you!" Marie comes running to us and holds a cupcake to me.

Shaking my head and knowing that I missed the moment of telling her all of this, I lean down and take the treat.

"Thank you, _mon soleil_."

I look up and Bella is staring at me intently. She looks curious and like she wants to tell me something, but when Marie brings a cupcake to her, she shakes her head and we both head over to the rest of the family.

Missed opportunities seem to be the theme of the day.

O~o~O~LB~O~o~O

"Want to take a walk with me?"

We're walking a few blocks from my parents' to take a taxi, but I want to take her someplace else before heading home.

"Where do you want to go?"

"Come on, you'll see soon enough."

On the ride there, I look at the city at night. Dinner ended not long ago and it's still early, so staying outside for a little bit won't be so bad.

The lights of the city are everywhere, passing in a blur as we move through the streets. Since I told the driver where we're going, Bella already knows our destination. She just gave me a curious look.

We arrive soon after and when we out of the cab at _Avenue Joseph Boulevard_, it's like we're in a different world altogether.

Even at night and with a soft cool breeze, the street is full of people, all talking and taking pictures of everything and everyone. But most of all, they're not taking pictures of just any _thing_; they're taking pictures of _La Tour Eiffel_.

From where we stand, on the other side of the field, it looks imposing and with the light all over and around this park, it's impossible not to stare at it for a few moments.

"Wow, even after living here for years, I still can't take my eyes away from it." I look down and see her face shining with the lights around us, colored lights dancing in her eyes.

"I know, right? Come on, let's walk a little."

I take her hand and silently, we walk on _Avenue Anatole France_, where there is an open view of the tower in front of us. We're both wearing coats and the only contact we have comes from the touch of our linked hands.

She occasionally sees something that catches her eye and walks ahead of me for a few moments, or stays back to admire a particular street artist. We never lose contact with each other though, even if it's only our pinkies linked.

As we walk towards the tower, we find more people, posing and laughing. They talk to each other and we hear different languages as we pass them. I love this city and what can offer people from all over the world.

"So, is there some specific reason why you brought me here? Not that I mind, since I've never been here at night."

"I thought you might like this. I love how it looks at night, almost a beacon in the city." I look up and stare at all the lights.

"I used to come here often when I got back to Paris to set up my studio. I don't know what it is about it, I mean, just look at it. The mind that came up with it, the people who worked to build it, the visitors that go _up there_. How could you not get inspired after looking at it?"

When I don't hear anything from her, I turn and see her looking at me, a faint smile in her lips.

"What?" Now I feel self-conscious.

"Nothing, it's just... I don't know, I like seeing you this passionate about things. You always have this look, even with things the rest of us take for granted. It's kind of cool actually." She shrugs.

"Thank you." And I think I'm blushing. "It's just- it always happens to me when I come here, I just can't stop staring at it, simple and yet so perfectly designed. I think it's unique... like you."

"Me?" Her voice is incredulous.

"Yeah, I'm always amazed at your reactions, the things you say or do. You're unique." I shrug, it's true.

She doesn't say anything back, just looks at me. Then, and with a little smile, she kisses my cheek, thanks me and we keep walking. I think she might be getting used to me telling her these things.

A couple asks us to take a photo of them and we start talking. It seem we now have a place to stay in London if we're ever there.

"So, that Henri guy really likes you." With a million thoughts, that's the first thing I blurt?

"Edward, I told you, you have nothing to worry about."

"I know, I know. And the same goes for me, by the way." I see her relax and smile with those words.

"But it made me think about our past relationships and how little I know about them, from you, I mean. You know I've dated since Renata died, mostly one-time dates, but no one meant anything more than that to me."

"I know." Bella sighs and her sight is fixed in front of us.

"As you know, I haven't dated since I came to Paris four years ago, I just couldn't have any type of relationship, not even a single date. At first it was kind of obvious, I came here to heal, not to jump into a new thing. But then..."

We quiet for a few steps, I squeeze her hand and let her know that she can say what she wants.

"I don't know, I just couldn't do it. There has been interest from guys, but I've made it clear that a relationship is not what I want. Henri has been one of them, he _is _interested in me." I groan, of course he is. "But he knows that nothing will happen between us. We just tease each other now."

"But he might not see it that way. He clearly has feelings for you."

"I only see him as a friend, but I see what you mean. And after today, I'm afraid I might've hurt him." That's why she looked sad earlier. She doesn't want to hurt him.

I stop and turn her around to face me, and wrapping my arms around her waist, I lean down to be closer to her ear.

"I know you'd never hurt him on purpose, but it's not your fault that you don't reciprocate his feelings. As hard as this might be, he'll move on now. He'll find someone to love and forget all about the gorgeous woman who broke his heart in Paris."

"Edward, you're not making it easier." She whines and when she tries to wriggle out of my hold, I tighten it.

"I'm sorry, I was just joking. But seriously, you can't be sad about this."

"I know," she sighs. "And I won't be sad if you're not jealous." I start to protest but she cuts me off. "And before you say anything, I saw the way you were looking at him. I do have to admit that it was very entertaining." Now she giggles and, fuck, doesn't she look gorgeous with her face like that in the lights from the streets and the tower.

"You tease me in my pain? What a cruel woman you are, Bella Swan."

"Whatever, you'll stay with me either way." She has no idea how true those words are.

I move my mouth to hers and kiss her softly. I'm always craving her body and touch, but I also crave to take care of her, as much as she does me.

We separate and with our foreheads leaning against each other, we remain silent. Even with the noise around us, it just feels like the two of us.

I'll do anything she asks of me but as much as I want to do things _for_her, I also want her to do things on her own, to succeed and continue to be the strong woman she is. I want to be with her and do things together, but most of all, I want to have a life with her, with the good and the bad.

I want her and I love her.

"I love you."

The words are out there and I'm surprised at how easy they sound and how much they fill a place that, until meeting her, I barely noticed it was empty, but what surprises me the most is that they didn't come from my mouth.

"I love you, Edward."

Tears are falling down her cheeks and there is a little wavering in her voice as if she's scared of what I might say, or not say back.

I bring my hand to her face and slowly trace her lips with my fingertips, those lips that said the words that I've been longing to hear, but was too afraid to say myself. It feels so stupid to have doubted for so long.

I trace those pouty lips and it's almost like I can touch the words that came out of her mouth. _I love you_. I can practically _feel_ her words where my fingers touch her skin and warmth travels up from that spot up to the rest of my body. She radiates love and this time I'm letting it flow.

She loves me.

"As usual, you read me better than anyone, waiting for me to catch up." I shake my head slightly and cup her cheeks with my hands.

"You didn't have to wait for me, I'm already there. I'm already in love with you. I love you and even though those words feel like the best words in the world to say and to hear, more so coming from you. They reflect but a fraction of what I really feel for you. You have no idea what you've done to me, Bella, no idea. But I'll spend years thanking you and showing you."

With that, I kiss her and taste her happy salty tears with my lips, and I just know that every kiss will be so much more from now on: more sweet, more passionate, more _loving_.

"I love you." I can't stop saying it over and over as I kiss her face and somehow try to engrave those words into her skin.

Her happy laugh and squeals are all I hear and the people around us turn to look. And every time she says the words back, it feels like it's the first time: new and life-changing.

Who cares if people stare? I'm kissing the girl I love and even in this chilly night, this is the best thing that has ever happened to me.

* * *

><p><strong>And there ya go, the words that he has been fretting over... and she said them first, lol. He'll take some first steps too.<strong>

**Besides the fact that they said the words, this chapter was also about showing their new life, simple and real, filled with normal things like searching for earrings and picking up dessert for dinner. Is this aspect of his life that feels both foreign and at home at the same time.  
><strong>

**Next chapter... something.  
><strong>

**Well, we all know how the Eiffel Tower looks like, so pictures would make no sense. However, I did post one with the path they walked towards the tower. Just imagine it's night time.**

**Also, the lovely lovesurfer let me know that this story has been nominated for the The Shimmer Awards: Snowflake Quarter, in the Fragile Award (Best All Human) category. Voting starts on January 21th. You can check out all the nominees and vote for your favorites here: shimmerawards (dot) blogspot (dot) com. Thanks :-), I've never been nominated for anything so this put a smile on my face.**

**And that's it, I'll see ya in two more weeks. Have a nice weekend.  
><strong>


	19. Sleepovers

**Greetings, ladies.**

**I'm glad you liked the last chapter and their confessions. Was about damn time. :-)**

**Many thanks to my beta Songster for her help in making this chapter all pretty and nice. Any mistake is mine, because I just can't help myself to touch the file again. *Sighs*  
><strong>

**I don't own Twilight.**

**Now let's see what happens when Edward takes the initiative...**

O~o~O~LB~O~o~O

'**Sleepovers'**

Love.

Such a tiny word that we all say to pretty much about everything and everyone. I love coffee, I love my parents, I love _macarons _and I love to design. Yet, everything pales in comparison when that word is directed to someone in particular.

Bella.

I love Bella.

I love her and it doesn't compare to anything else. Okay, maybe it does get even better when she says it back. I _love_ it when she says it back.

And she says it back a lot, as much as I do, really.

It's been a week since our walk to _La Tour Eiffel_ and every single day has ended with phone calls or short visits to each other's apartments. It doesn't matter that they're often short visits, just hearing her voice or kissing her lips takes away how tired I might be from the day.

Only Tuesday we were able to have dinner together at her place and actually talk without interruptions. And then there was making out on her couch, a _lot _of making out and 'I love you's in between chopping vegetables and sipping wine.

She's spoiling me. And I, well… I love it.

Next week, on Wednesday, I'm set to have my show for Fashion Week and present my new Spring-Summer collection. I'm kind of excited about it, ideas have been flowing for months now, more so in the last few weeks, and with me working with my designers more closely lately, the ideas have been never-ending.

What has me excited as well is the idea that, this year, Bella will be there sitting in the front row. Rose usually makes a short appearance each year, to "support my big brother," she often says. But this year, this year is different in so many ways with Bella there.

Unfortunately, all of this work and preparation leave little time to actually spend with my girlfriend. Hence, the few minutes we can find each day to talk or see each other. I'm exhausted and this is only the beginning of a very busy month, starting with Fashion Week and ending with the Gala.

October hasn't even started and I'm already wishing it was over.

"I'm sorry work has you so tired. Just remember that it's one crazy night and then you're free. Sort of." Bella says and runs her fingers through my hair.

Just what I needed.

We're sitting here on my sister's couch while Marie plays the piano with Rose sitting by her side. This is the first Saturday for a few weeks that I've been able to visit them. I was either sick or they were out of town or we were at my parents.

This is also the only day I have to just relax before the show. Even on Sunday, I'm going to have to finish some details.

"I know. I just wish it were simpler, you know?"

"I know, but they are fantastic shows. And did I thank you for getting me invitations for the entire week?" She leans down and kisses my lips.

Her lips taste of raspberries and I lick and gently nip them. From her tiny whimper, I think she likes this move.

"I think you have a few times, but don't let me stop you," I say against her mouth.

I had no problem with getting invitations for her and Alice for a few shows. Initially, Bella asked for only two invitations to attend one specific show, but I ended up getting them for the entire week. I wanted them to have fun at any show they wanted, with no restrictions.

It pays to have connections.

I couldn't attend any of them, mostly because I didn't have the time, but also because I don't want to freak out at seeing other collections so close to the showing of my own. I also didn't have the desire to attend any of the parties all over Paris in the name of 'networking' that we have to go to. I just send Tanya and she does all the talking, but I know I'll have to go to a few of them myself after Wednesday.

Bella rolled her eyes when I told her I was nervous about my show. She's my biggest fan and always seems to know just what to say or do to calm me. In this case, she kissed me for a long time.

Oh, she knows how to calm me.

I was also happy to know that she'd not only go with Alice, but maybe even Rose. She doesn't really go to these shows, except for mine, since she hates crowds and all those people so close to her, but she sounded open to the idea of going with the girls. Hopefully, Bella and Alice will convince her to join them. She needs more friends in her life.

I also thought it was a great idea for Bella to see what was out there, maybe get some ideas and even talk to people in the fashion world: magazine editors, designers, critics, etc. She's getting more and more into it; I've seen her more often with her sketchbook and her studio is a complete, beautiful mess lately.

A giggle makes me break my stare at Bella's lips. I'm _always _staring at her lips.

"Mommy, why is Uncle Edward watching Auntie Bella's mouth? She has something in her teeth?"

"No honey, there is nothing wrong with Auntie Bella's mouth." Rose is trying to hold in her laughter and Bella is full on giggling now. "Isn't that right, Uncle Edward?"

I turn my head to glare at her but that makes her laugh now, she's not holding it in.

"No, Marie, there is nothing wrong with Bella's mouth. I just think it's very pretty." And delicious.

Marie looks at Rose and Bella with a frown. I don't think she understands why they're laughing, but after a moment she just shrugs and continues playing the piano.

I go back to closing my eyes and letting Bella use her magic on my hair.

"Mommy, I wanna play alone now," Marie whines once Rose stops laughing.

"Okay then, I'm gonna sit with your Uncle and Aunt on the couch."

"She's getting better and better," Bella says.

"I know, and now she wants to take dancing lessons. She heard me talking to Mom about our night at the club, and now she wants to learn how to dance."

"That's so cute. Your own little dancing pianist."

"I know right? At least it serves to burn all that energy." My eyes are closed, but I can almost feel her rolling her eyes and smiling.

"Sooo…" Bella says. She's gonna ask something she's not sure about. "Speaking about that night at the club, have you talked to Emmett?"

Not so smooth.

"Nice, Bella. How long have you been waiting to ask that?" Rose laughs and when I open my eyes, I see her blushing and staring off into the distance.

"Too long, Rose. Had I not been so busy lately, I would've invited you to lunch or something."

"Why didn't you ask Emmett?" She almost whispers his name.

"He doesn't share anything anymore. Now tell me."

"Yeah, sis, tell us." I tease, but I'm curious too.

"All right, you gossipy ladies. Yes, we've talked, every night in fact. He... invited me for coffee the other day. It was nice." But the way she says nice tells me that it was much better than _nice_.

"He's talked about his family and his work. And I've told him about Marie and my books. That's it."

"That's great, Rose. I've known Emmett for years, he's a great guy." Bella grips Rose's hand and I can tell Rose is relieved at Bella's words. They both understand each other more than I could imagine: what they went through and what it takes to go back to the living. It's not the same struggle I go through, it's one only Bella can sadly relate to.

"I'm glad, Rose. But if he hurts you, I'll kick his ass," I tell her seriously.

"Okay, I'll tell him that next time I see him." She smiles and I notice a few tears trying to fall.

My little sister, so strong and beautiful.

"Okay, now onto more light business." Facing Bella, she says, "We need to get ready for all those shows next week. Work out a schedule and see which ones are the best."

Apparently, Bella and Alice _did_ convince Rose to go with them.

"Oh, so business-like." Bella teases, but I can feel she's a little tense.

"This is a business, Bella. And showing up at the right show will be great press. We can start getting your name out there and then at the Gala, people will die over yours and Alice's dresses."

And that's probably what has Bella so tense: the attention. I know she wants to go and she actually needs it to make herself known, but as the date gets closer and closer and things start getting more real, I'm guessing her nerves will grow.

"You don't have to go to _all_ of the shows. Just a few that you really like and that's it. It can also be just a fun day, nothing else." I give Bella a light squeeze to her hand.

"I know and thank you both. I think you're both right, I want to go to just a few, the ones I really like, but Rose is also right. I can see this as an opportunity to see the business up close."

After that, they talk and strategize, yes, _strategize_ where to go and who to see. I drift off to their voices and Marie's music.

A while later, I feel someone shaking me.

"Edward? Edward? We have to go."

"Mhmm?"

"It's time to go home, it's late."

"Okay." Slowly I rub the sleep from my eyes and sit up on the couch. I only see Bella and Rose here.

"Where is Marie?"

"She went to sleep. She gave you a goodnight kiss before leaving though." Too bad I missed that.

"Edward, you look so tired. I know this is important, but come on, you have people working for you, you don't have to do _everything_." Rose scolds. I'd say something, but I'm still sleepy.

"Why don't you go to Mom and Dad's country house some time? You could go after all this insanity is over. You need to rest."

And now I'm awake. The country house. I haven't thought about it in a long time; I loved going there as a kid. Lots of places to run and get dirty.

"That's a good idea. Maybe we could go after the Gala. What do you think Bella? It's a beautiful place and you can even take your sketchbook if you want to draw there." It's gonna be at the end of October, a little chilly, but staying inside doesn't sound too bad either.

"A weekend away from the city with my boyfriend? Alone, just the two of us? Pff, no thanks." Her mischievous look only proves her wrong.

"Okay then, I'll see you when I get back then." I tease her.

"As if you'd go without Bella." Rose huffs.

I reach for Bella's waist and bring her closer so I can softly whisper in her ear, "Maybe there are other ways I can convince you?"

When she shivers against me, I know the decision is made. We're going away.

O~o~O~LB~O~o~O

Just as I thought, that Saturday at Rose's was the last time I had a few free moments. Every minute since then has been filled with fittings, adjustments, fights and replacing models.

That had not been fun at all.

My only 'Bella time' had come from short phone calls at the end of the day, when she talked about the shows she went to, the people she saw and how much fun or infuriating her time had been. It was fun to listen to her recounting how much she wanted to punch some people. Even angry, she was cute.

However, I did get pictures from Rose all throughout the day while they were getting ready or meeting someone famous later in the day. I had laughed at some of the photos and those moments got me to relax and forget the work hell I was in.

"Okay, Paul. So everything seems to be ready for the show tomorrow." I revise the papers in front of me, while the people around my office check their own things. I also keep an eye on the folder next to me.

That folder is one of my private ones that I had to bring from my apartment.

When I arrived on Monday, besides dealing with the issue of the fashion show on Wednesday, I found out that one of the folders with designs for next year had been lost. I had been beyond furious and already have people investigating the issue.

The only good thing is that the lost drawings can't be copied by anyone. So if someone tries, they are in for a surprise. I don't want to think that this was intentional, but the paranoid me is already working up new changes for security.

The issue is certainly odd, if not worrisome. Very few people have access to the early drawings and they all know that they can't be copied, so stealing them would be futile. But if someone outside of that circle did end up taking them… how did they know? And more importantly, how did they gain access to them?

This is just one more thing to worry about and it makes my mind go back to that time when I was too blind to notice these things happening. Only back then, it had been someone really close doing the stealing. Now? I have no idea what's happening and there still is a chance the sketches will be found.

For a short second my mind goes to Bella, she's the only outsider to have seen them all. No. It wasn't her, she'd never do that me.

"Yes, just last minute things, but doesn't that always happen?" Paul tells us all.

"That's true." There will be a million more tomorrow at the show.

Thank God, we've been through Fashion Week before and we know the venue where tomorrow's shows are being held. We have pretty much everything figured out, rehearsed and double checked, but still, some things are impossible to predict.

Fashion Week is usually held in different places all over the city: big designers, small newcomers, extravagant places, small venues. It's a great week for fashion, to see great shows or find new talent.

If we take out the chaos of everything, it's pretty cool.

Tomorrow, we'll hold our show at _Carrousel du Louvre_, the underground shopping mall near the _Louvre_ and the _Place du Carrousel_. It's an incredible sight, since it it's the site of the famous skylight: the _La Pyramide Inversée_, the inverted pyramid from the _Louvre_.

A few of the bigger designers might have their shows near _La Tour Eiffel_, but controlling that would drive me crazy. Besides, I'm not that much of a big name around town. I do okay.

"Okay, things look all right. I think we're ready, but if we're not then there is nothing to do now." I let everyone go, tomorrow will be a long day.

"Edward?" I look up to find Jane in front of me.

Making Kate my personal assistant had been a good idea, better than I expected. She wants to learn and takes in all the details around us. Even Irina had been happy about it, now she doesn't have to tag along to all my fashion meetings and is even able to leave earlier on some days.

I think she even smiled at me when I told her she could do that.

However, Jane had not taken things very smoothly. Much like I thought, she hadn't liked that I had chosen someone else to work close to me. For everyone else this was not an issue, they were happy where they were, doing what they really loved. In the last few weeks I had been telling them how great a job they have been doing and even promoting some people. The change in the work atmosphere has been noticeable.

I'm finally making them feel like they belong here and their work is appreciated.

I thought Jane was happy where she was, she has a better job than Kate, with much more responsibility and challenges. So, I find it odd that Jane is acting this way.

"Yes, Jane?"

"I was just wondering if I could take a week off after tomorrow? Since we don't have any more urgent things to worry about. The Gala garments had already been delivered weeks ago."

That's unexpected, she never takes time off.

"Yeah, sure. Talk to HR and let them know."

"Okay, thanks." She stares at me for a few seconds. I think she might say something else, but she just... stares. She doesn't look like the hard woman we're all used to seeing around, she looks a little sad even. I'm not sure.

"Is there something else, Jane?"

"Oh, no. Just nervous about tomorrow."

"Yeah, aren't we all? But we've done this before, I'm sure things will work out." I try to reassure her, it's not a good idea to make her more nervous by telling her I'm feeling the same.

"Yeah, you're right. I'll see you tomorrow then." She turns around and leaves.

"Bye."

I shake my head and go back to some papers. When I start to have double vision, I decide to go home. I'm of no use here.

Just as I get home, Bella calls and we talk about our day and about tomorrow. With her voice wishing me good luck and an 'I love you', I drift to sleep.

O~o~O~LB~O~o~O

On Wednesday afternoon, things are even more chaotic. I'm running around doing last minute things and fixing mistakes all over the place. These are the times when being a control freak is not so fun.

I can't help that I have very specific ideas for the show: how the models must accessorize, how the runway must look, hair styles, makeup, just about every little detail that comes in shows like this one.

"No, that necklace won't work on her. Use the silver one over there." I point and faster than I can process, the assistants are running around. I seem to have gotten back to my asshole-y ways.

I have to admit that I don't care at this moment, if it gets things done.

The back of the stage is full of people running around and giving orders. It's very confusing and chaotic and nothing like the pretty picture that people see out there.

I got a text from Bella earlier, letting me know that they had arrived and had taken their seats. She wished me luck and I damned the fact that I had to stay back here and couldn't see her until later.

I'm talking to Kate, telling her some changes we could make in the future to some of the dresses before starting to sell them, when I feel arms around my waist.

"What the-?" I swear if a model is doing this, I'm gonna lose it.

After Renata died, they got bolder when they want to make themselves noticed. Sadly, I can't say it didn't work for some of them. I just didn't care for them any more than that.

When I turn, I find Bella trying to hold in her laughter.

"You scared me." And even with all the people around us, I see her. Only her.

"Who were you expecting? Huh?" I know she's teasing, but her face looks a little worried.

As if she has anything to worry about.

I put my arms around her waist, while she places hers around my neck. I lean forward and whisper into her ear.

"No one else, but you see these models around here? They scare me and they can be very forward." I see her shiver a little and I kiss her neck slowly.

"Really? We don't want that happening, do we?"

Before I get the chance to ask her about it, she stands on her toes and kisses me long and hard. I have no idea what happens next, because all I care about is her mouth and her hands on my skin.

God, this woman.

Just as I'm about to slide my hands a little south, we are interrupted by someone clearing their throat.

Right. People.

"Um? Edward? We're almost ready now." I reluctantly let go of Bella and find Kate at our sides.

"Hi Bella, great seeing you here. I hope you like the show." Since Bella spends some time at my studio, everyone knows who she is now. Hell, she even knows some of the girls better than I do.

"Hi, Kate. I'm sure things will be perfect." She's now giggling.

I look around and several people are staring at us, others pretending not to. Most importantly, most of the models turn around and don't mind us anymore.

"Were you just staking your claim, Bella Swan?" I'm grinning and I hear Kate laughing.

"I sure was, _Monsieur _Cullen. And now that's done, I'm going out there. We'll see you afterwards, okay? I love you." That last part was a whisper close to my ear, just for me. With a quick peck, she turns and leaves.

I just stare at her, retreating between groups of people. These shows used to be really stressful, not that this one isn't at the moment, but just knowing that Bella will be sitting out there, calms me.

"Well, nobody will bother you now. Except the press, they'll want to know about her." Kate interrupts my ogling of my girlfriend.

The press, right.

For the first time I'll face them with the truth. Yes, we are dating, let all of Paris know.

"Okay, let's get this show on the road." I grin and with that kiss, I almost felt empowered.

After a blur of fabric and the sound of high heels clicking around me, next thing I know, the show is over and I'm about to go out there on the runway to present myself.

It was a good one, everything went as it should've: the flow, the colors, the lights. Even the little mistakes seem unimportant now. Although, I know we'll be analyzing them next week.

I go out and all I hear is applause and voices yelling my name. Photographers, I think. The same ones that are pretty much blinding me at the moment.

I smile and thank everyone and then I see _them_. My family sitting in the front row.

I knew Rose, Alice and Bella would be here, and even Tanya, but they're not alone. Next to them are Mom and Dad and... Jasper and Emmett too?

I smile and go directly to them; I don't care if this is not protocol. I want to hug Mom and Dad.

"Edward, that was beautiful." She's first to pull me to her, before I even get the chance to do anything.

"That was amazing, Edward. I think it's even better than last year's show." Mom says and I have to close my eyes at her words. I do feel that this is much better than last year; these past two months have been better than anything I've done before.

"Mom-"

"Just enjoy this, son."

I hug the rest of the group as they all congratulate me. I haven't felt this kind of support in a long time. Rose always takes me to dinner afterwards, but tonight this means much more. Old and new family supporting me.

I can't even speak.

I turn and see Bella, standing close to Alice. She knows how important it is for me to share this with my family, so she lets me have my moment with them. Mom and Dad haven't been to my shows in two years, at least that I know of. But then I can't stay away from her and move close to her until I'm right in front of her, pressing my forehead to hers.

"That was great Edward, I'm very proud of you."

"Thank you. And now you're my good luck charm. You're gonna have to come to all my shows from now on."

"Really? Oh well, I guess I'll have to." She rolls her eyes, but still smiles when I lean closer and kiss her.

Around me, I hear more shouts of my name and, behind my eyelids, I can see the flashes going off like crazy.

We separate and grin at each other. She truly makes me forget where I stand.

"And now who is staking their claim?" Bella asks, cocking her brow.

"Maybe."

"Um, Edward? The models are waiting and we're hungry so hurry up. Now." Now Rose interrupts.

Oh right.

"I'll see you backstage, okay? I want you to meet some people." I ask Bella, close to her ear, since there's still too much noise around. With one more kiss, I go back to the runway.

I turn around one more time before going back and notice all the photographers taking flashes of my family but mostly of Bella.

Shit, I hadn't thought of this before. She was hesitant enough about the Gala and all the exposure and here I am, offering her to the world. I should've asked, but I couldn't help myself.

A while later, I'm interviewed by different TV fashion shows, magazines, blogs and God know what else. They all ask about Bella and because I made it obvious that we're together, I can't dodge the questions. Still, all I answer is that she's my girlfriend and they'll be seeing more of her.

All the while, I think about her reaction. She didn't seem to mind, but now? I have no idea.

"Edward!" I turn around and find Chelsea. She's the editor in chief of _Classique_, one of the most influential fashion magazines here in Paris. Chelsea can make or break a career, but as scary as that sounds, she's not so bad once you get to know her. Good thing she likes me like a son.

"Chelsea. Good to see you here." With two kisses, we pose for photos.

"How could I not, _mon cherie_? It was wonderful, as usual. And as it seems, it's good that I came this year." She doesn't look at me as she says this, she's still smiling for photos.

"You saw that?"

"I'm not _that_ old, Edward. _Everyone_saw it." When I laugh, she turns to me. "Don't worry, but I want to meet this girl that made you do this."

We walk away from the crowd now that they found someone new to focus on.

"She should be around here, but don't scare her, Chelsea," I plead, because she can be very scary.

"Pff, a good scare could be good, but of course I won't." After she sees my serious expression, she smiles softly. "You love her, _mon ami_. You're in love."

She doesn't look surprised by it. She's always been very honest with me, and right now, all I can do is tell her the truth.

"I am, I'm in love. Finally." God, it feels amazing to confess this. "And you almost look like you were expecting this, Chelsea."

"Of course I was, _mon cherie_. You're not the type to spend your life just dating, Edward. You never were." Her expression is a little sad, one that I've seen often when we talk. More than sadness though, she feels a little guilty.

From the start, Chelsea liked Renata. Chelsea always saw her as someone fun and pretty that could help me get out into the world. Even from the beginning, Chelsea has felt protective of me, and tried to introduce me to the right people. So when things with Renata ended, Chelsea felt guilty and foolish for not seeing it before. I never blamed her of course, I was too intent on blaming myself, but she's felt that way ever since and she's one of my biggest critics when it comes to dates.

"Well, my friend, you don't have to worry about me anymore." I give her a hug and that's when I see Bella heading our way. A few people turn her way, recognizing her from before.

"And here she is." I disentangle from Chelsea and take Bella's hand, pulling her closer to my side.

"Chelsea, this is Bella. Bella, this is my friend Chelsea."

"Nice meeting you, _Madam _Le Blanc. It's a pleasure."

"And you too, Bella. But please call me, Chelsea." I know she's appraising her, but asking her to call her Chelsea is a big step. Nobody, except friends, calls her that. Nobody.

After knowing that Bella also designs, their talk turns to fashion subjects and soon they are laughing at different things they saw at the shows this week. Things I missed because I was at work, so I just stand there and listen to their talk. I smile at how well Bella gets along wth Chelsea, not once letting the fact that she's in the presence of one of the most important people in fashion, make her back away.

She's so confident at times, I just can't believe she'd be nervous about her own work.

Here and there, photographers take our picture, especially when they see Bella is talking to Chelsea. We'll be in the social pages tomorrow.

I consider that perhaps Bella is starting to get used to this attention and is not letting it keep her from what she really wants.

"Okay, _mon cherie_. I have to go, parties to go to and all that." Chelsea always says this, but I know she loves the parties.

"It was a pleasure meeting you, Bella. I'll see you two at the Gala at the end of the month." Then she leaves.

"Wow, Edward, I just met Chelsea Le Blanc. How cool is that? I always read her magazine; did you know she used to model? Oh my God." She's so excited.

"I know. And you did a great job hiding this giddy side, where did it come from?"

"I know! She's like a celebrity. Do you think she noticed?" She looks a little nervous about this, it just makes me laugh.

"No, you were very cool about it."

I introduce her to some other people and she falls into easy conversation with them. She fits right in.

I watch her as she talks to a small group of people and I can't stop picturing her doing the same at her own fashion show. How critics would love her, how magazines would fight to have her in their pages. More than ever, I'm sure about helping her with her career. Now that I have some time, I can bring the subject up.

"Edward? We need to go, everyone is waiting for us at the restaurant."

"Okay then, let's go."

An hour later, we're at _Bernadette_'s with all of our friends and family. It might not be some luxurious restaurant, but it's more intimate and perfect for all of us.

Mom met Bernadette and they instantly got along... and started plotting ways to get me to eat more, since they both think I'm too skinny.

Emmett tried different dishes, the larger ones, and he was the only one who wasn't left in a food coma at the end of the night. Where does all that food go?

We were also very much entranced watching Rose and Emmett interact. Little by little Rose got closer to him throughout the night and when she held his hand above the table and didn't let go, I didn't know who was more touched about it. Emmett or Mom.

We all noticed.

All in all, it was a busy and surprising night. One I wouldn't change.

O~o~O~LB~O~o~O

"Would you like some coffee?"

After we said our good nights to the rest of our family and friends, we headed to Bella's place. This is the first night I have her all to myself and I'm going to make it last as long as I can.

"Sure."

I sit on her couch, after taking off my jacket, and listen to her move around the kitchen and hum a tune while she prepares our coffee. Looking around, I even notice some new photos of us. For some reason, me sitting here and her in the kitchen feels so _home-y_, just knowing she's here doing something so simple and normal.

"Why are you smiling? Remembering the night?" She hands me a mug and sits by me.

"Not really, no. I just... like this." I motion to the room with my other hand.

"My apartment? Thank you, you've said it before."

"And I'll say it again. I like your place. And I love you." Setting my mug aside, I lean in and kiss her coffee-tasting lips.

"I love you too."

We talk about the day and how seeing Rose and Emmett's interactions and closeness was a welcome surprise.

"I can't forget Rose's face when she took Emmett's hand. He smiled so big, so cute."

"Well, I don't know about cute, but I like seeing Rose like that. They've been on a few dates, right?" Bella nods. "And I wonder how Marie will react when she meets him. I know Rose is a little hesitant right now about that. She'd never introduce someone new to Marie's life, especially if she's not sure where this is going. But after seeing them tonight, it's clear this is serious and I think Marie will meet him soon."

"I know, and I talked to him the other day and he's really nervous about it. He works with kids all the time, but this is different. If Marie doesn't like him, he knows things with Rose will be harder. He'll have to work even more to win her over and if that doesn't work, he might have to step back altogether."

I'd been a little worried about that too, but Rose knows what she's doing and if not, she's not afraid to ask for advice.

"Yeah, I know. We'll have to wait and see, I guess. I mean, Marie didn't like you on the spot, but you won her over eventually... like a minute later." I give her a quick kiss. "But I don't think things will go badly for them."

I see a copy of _Classique_on the coffee table and remember the meeting with Chelsea.

"So, you liked Chelsea?"

"Yeah, she's really nice and not at all what I thought she'd be. I guess I've been reading too many tabloids."

"Great, she was very taken by you. We'll see in her in two weeks at the Gala, so you'll know someone there." I remember me freaking out earlier.

"And on that, was it okay that I made it clear to the world that we're together? I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking and I know you were hesitant about that when I mentioned the Gala a while back." I hope I didn't freak her out by attracting attention to her.

"Well, you took me by surprise and the photographers did make me nervous." Crap. "But, I know that this is the kind of thing you deal with often, and I'm in your life now, so I can get used to it. Besides, I need to get my name out there too."

"I know, I promise next time I'll check with you first." I move closer and kiss her, simply because I have to touch her and feel her close to me.

We soon forget about our coffees and end up spending the rest of the hour touching and kissing. Thank God, I removed my jacket, because I'm getting hotter and hotter.

I move my hands to the edge of her top and run my hands higher and higher. I've been wanting to do this all night, see her, _all of her_ against me. With every inch I reveal, her breathing speeds and she makes these little noises that are a mix between a moan a giggle. I kiss a particular spot at her elbow and this time, she laughs. I have to stop for a moment and look at her, just _look_ at her.

I always love it when she laughs, she looks so young when she does. This time though, almost naked and happy, she looks... glowing and alive: hair sprawled around her, skin flushed, little crinkles around her eyes.

_I_ did that, I made her look like this, I made her this happy.

And she doesn't even know that she does the same to me without even trying. The wrinkling of her nose when she concentrates, the humming of a tune when she cooks, the swaying of her hips when she's itching to dance, all these little things that only I know of; they all make me happy to see and curious to find more.

Listening to her carefree laughter, seeing her like this, I realize that it's time for me to show her how happy _she_ makes _me_, to show her how much I love her. She's always making the first moves, gauging when I might be ready for them.

It's time for me to show her that I'm ready for more, with her.

I get up from the couch and offer her my hand. She looks confused for a moment, her eyes flashing between my face and my hand, but when I softly smile at her, all that confusion is gone. I don't have to say it, she knows.

We slowly move to her bedroom, removing the rest of our clothes along the way and leaving them in a trail behind us. Shirt, her top, pants and shoes. I kiss and touch her skin every time she takes off something - I had forgotten how soft she is - until she's left only in her panties, standing with her back to me, next to her bed. I just can't help but trail kisses along her spine, going up and down and then moving to her shoulders and neck. Each time my lips touch her skin, I feel her moving a little closer to me, as if those little touches are not enough for her.

I know the feeling.

"Edward." It's barely a whisper, but it mingles around us with the other sounds surrounding the room: moans and pants.

Her voice sounds pleading and worshiping at the same time.

I gently turn her to face me and move my hands to her cheeks, noticing how hot they feel under my palms. Our noses are almost touching and only with the lights coming from the outside, I make out the faint freckles in her nose. I kiss them.

"Bella." I sigh.

I can see her chest moving fast with her breathing, her breasts moving up and down; her skin is flushed and the same pink color that I love on her cheeks now covers her neck and chest.

Her mouth moves like she's trying to say something, but no words come out. But just by looking at her, I can read it in her face what her lips are trying to form. I kiss her cheeks and forehead and finally her lips. She doesn't have to say anything, it's seeping from every inch of her skin. _Love_.

"I love you. Let me show you." I say softly against her lips.

These seem to be the words she had been waiting for to let go, because before I get to do anything more, her mischievous look is back.

All nervousness is gone now as she slowly kisses different paths along my naked chest. I smirk, knowing she's been waiting to do this for a while. Neck, chest, shoulders, stomach, she doesn't miss a spot. Soon, her hands are moving down my legs, removing my pants and I'm left in only my underwear.

I've missed this, feeling her skin hot against mine. With our hectic days, our nights have been spent apart, tired as hell. No time to explore more of each other, of me finding new spots to kiss and lick.

The other times when we've let go like this, we usually stop at this point, us only in our underwear. I wanted to get to know her completely before crossing that line. I couldn't do that until she knew all my story. But tonight, I know there is nothing more to say, only to show.

I move her to lay on her bed and her pretty smile never leaves her face.

Lying there, I kiss every part that is exposed, tracing my fingers along her curves and memorizing more of the sounds she makes when I touch her a certain way or in a particular spot. I love the way she speaks to me without saying a word, letting her body and sounds do the work: how she pushes her hand to move mine to where she wants it, how she arches her back when I nip or apply pressure to her skin.

There's still so much to learn when it comes to her, there are still things for me to learn from her body. And not even being tired from the day can stop me from exploring her and seeing her flush the way she does under my touch.

"More, please." She voices what we're both feeling. Always more of each other. And I give her that, with my hands and my lips.

I like seeing her like this, just letting go and trusting me with her body, much like with her heart.

"Edward." It's barely a whisper, her breathing is fast and her body so, so warm against mine as I kiss her stomach and hold her hips.

Her hands reach to cup my cheeks and when my eyes find her face, the look she gives me... _I love you_. I have to close my eyes for a moment. We've said those words so many times since that first time, each one more meaningful than the time before, but right here and now, it's something almost too powerful to take in. Like looking directly at the sun, but I so want to. How did I ever miss this before? It's plainly obvious that she loves me now that I really _see_ her.

"Edward." I open my eyes and find her watching me. She says my name as if it's not just a plea because she needs release at the moment, as I do, but as though there's more behind it.

_Let me love you._

_Let me take care of you._

_Let me see you._

These are the same things I want. I want to love her and take care of her, treat her the way she should be treated, the way I'll try to do as long as she lets me.

And I do just that: I worship her body, kissing it and covering it with whispered words and promises only meant for her. I want her body to always carry those words, like a permanent tattoo on her skin that reminds her that she's always loved, no matter what. And I'll remind her of this as many times as I have to.

Pleas and moans surround the room after that, her scent and warmth all I can think about. It's always her, it's always been her, and this time together it's not just about finding my own release, it's about needing her: her touch, her sounds.

I gently move my hands to her hips and give her panties a little tug. She stares at me for a second before lifting her hips and inch by inch, I move the fabric down her legs, just reveling in touching her skin and hearing the moans she's giving me.

I kiss up her body, stopping for a moment to kiss what she's always been hiding beneath those little scraps of silk, and stop when I can cover her entirely with my body. I can feel her breasts pressed to my chest, her nails scratching on my back and her breath on my neck. It's not enough, never enough of her.

She moves her hands to my waist and with the help of her feet, removes the last piece of clothing I have on. I can now feel her completely, more when she lifts her legs and wraps them around my waist.

"Fuck." I have to rest my head in her hair and take a big breath. She's so soft and warm and her scent everywhere.

Her body starts rocking softly against mine and without thinking, I do the same.

"Edward, look at me. Please."

Lifting my head from her shoulder, I'm met with brown, bright eyes. Quiet moans escape her lips every time I move closer to her. Fuck, she's gorgeous, simply gorgeous, and I have nothing to say except for the words that never seem to be enough.

"I love you." I breathe out as I enter her, her own mouth taking in my breath, my words, when she gasps and arches against me.

And like this, when we're finally together, when I can finally feel her _everywhere_, I just have to close my eyes, because at this moment I know with certainty that it will _never_ be enough: I'll always crave her body, no matter how many times we're like this; I'll always feel the need to say that I love her, no matter how many times I say the words.

I'll always want more with her, _of_ her.

And from the way I see her looking at me when I open my eyes, I know she feels the same. This is it for her, as much as it is for me. And it's so scary, but with her, nothing will ever be _that_ scary to drive me away.

I'm done hiding.

"Edward." She moans my name and I feel even more powerful, knowing that _I'm_ making her feel this good, that it's my skin she wants to feel, my body she wants inside.

But then the quickest look of fear crosses her eyes and I notice her left hand falling and slightly shaking on the matress near her head.

"Bella?" I stop my movements and even if it's killing me, tonight's all about her.

"I'm sorry, it's been a while and this is _so_ much, Edward, so much." Her head shakes a little from side to side and she looks almost embarrassed by admiting this.

Why should she? This _is_ so much, for the both of us.

"No one will ever hurt you again, Bella. No one." I cover that hand with my own and link them together, tightly. "I love you."

After a second when I don't know what she'll do, she leans forward and kisses me back. Every little speck of fear of being hurt goes away as I feel her body relaxing and reacting to my touch. She's giving me her complete trust.

We start moving again and soon our bodies are arching and seeking for more; our mouths are pleading and giving 'I love you's. The world disappears around us, it's only her with me in this bed, now the best place on Earth.

She's beautiful and she's with me.

"Bella." It's a moan and at the same time, a promise: she's everything, always will be. My heart, my partner, my lover.

"God, Edward."

I touch and press with my fingers everywhere I can reach, feeling how her muscles flex and move under my palms; I thrust just enough to make her moan and say my name like it's the only word she knows; I lick her neck and nip at her shoulder when she tilts just to let me know she wants my mouth on her. And like that, she lets go. She presses her chest against mine, she grips my back and she says my name over and over.

_My _name.

And because she owns me just the same, when I follow after her, it's _her_name that I whisper in a loop like a never-ending prayer, wrapping my arms around her body.

Neither of us move for a while, just trying to hold on to this for as long as we can. I can feel her sweaty skin against my own and I don't know who's hotter, her or me, but I don't like it when I can feel the heat slowly fading. This tells me that this already started to end, at least _this_ moment, since this will not be the last time I'm with her like this.

"I love you."

"I love you". I whisper and punctuate with a soft kiss.

We move under the covers, a hard thing to do since I can't stop holding her, and naked under the sheets we spend the rest of the night like this: feeling her skin pressed to mine with her curves molding to my body; whispering words and exchanging smiles only for us until we're both yawning and trying to stay awake.

And when sleep claims us, it's one of us who wakes the other with touches and wandering lips hours later.

All throughout the night, we repeat this again and again until dawn makes its appearance through the windows and the muffled sounds from the streets alert us that there is a world outside of this bed.

While holding her after making love, early in the morning, I simply know that I'll never be able to go to sleep without feeling her body against mine anymore.

So I don't.

For the next two weeks, our lives are filled with work and drawings and sleepovers at her place.

And skin, a lot of uncovered skin and new spots to explore.

God, I love this woman.

* * *

><p><strong>Um... there ya go. ;-) This ended up being the longest chapter so far, a freaking OS, lol. Also, I'm all for safe sexing, but it was awkward to place it here, just know that they are being safe and no unplanned babies will come out of this.  
><strong>

**You'll see exactly what Bella is **considering** for her career, in the next chapter.**

**Okay, a bit of info about Fashion Week: as you know there are several of these around the world, with the most important ones being held in New York, London, Milan and Paris (although there are others that have been gathering attention in later years). They also happen several times a year with the main ones in Autumn/Winter and Spring/Summer for women and men, which happen in separate dates. Also, you have other Fashion Weeks for Haute Coture for women, Resort/Cruise, Pre-Fall and more especific ones like Swimwear, **Prêt-à-Porter**, Coture, Bridal, etc.**

**The one Edward had his show was for Spring/Summer collection in Paris for women's wear (which happened at the end of Sept. and early Oct. in 2011 and so happens to coincide with the dates in this chapter). He works in other ones as well, but I'll not show them here, maybe just mention them. The point of this one was to show you how he works outside of his studio and how much fashion is a business. Connections and being seen are a big deal and Bella has to get used to that. This will be her life from now as well, whether it's showing her own things or making Edward company.  
><strong>

**I have a couple of pics for this chapter, but it's futile to tell you to go check out my profile for links, since FFn doesn't allow links in there anymore. :-( However, a while ago I uploaded all the pics to my stories to one place and organized them by folders (yeah, I know), so you can check them out here: **_s1083 (dot) photobucket (dot) com/albums/j400/choclover82/Little%20Buttons/_** (just look for the Ch19 folder to the right). **So, from now on you'll find all the pics in there. I typed the link on my profile as well, so you won't have to replace dots ans spaces and all, lol.  
><strong>**

**Next chapter... the party.**

**Also, a (belated) Happy Birthday to sweet lovesurfer. She's cute as a button (see what I did there? Heh? Heh?) and I hope she had a great day last Monday. *Tosses Confetti* :-)**

**And after the longest A/N ever, that's it, pretty ladies. Thank you for reading and I'll see ya in two more weeks.**


	20. Colors

**Greetings, pretty ladies.**

**And here we go again. I'm glad you liked the last chapter, poor guy couldn't live with blue balls anymore, lol. And boy, are you patient or what? 19 chapters? Wow, you're pretty. ;-)**

**Ok, so we're in the last third of this story (mid to late twenties) so there are a few things that need to be dealt with before the end. And I apparently kinda scared ya with a few things from last chapter. Sorry about that. You'll see what's going on very soon.**

**Many thanks to my beta Songster for her help with this, she's the fairest in all the land. Any mistake is mine.  
><strong>

**I don't own Twilight, but I have to say it again.**

**Now let's see how these kids party...**

O~o~O~LB~O~o~O

'**Colors'**

"Okay, Mom, thanks for picking up that package. I'll see you in a few hours."

"You're welcome and yes, we'll see you soon. Okay, I have to finish getting ready. Bye, sweetie."

"Bye, Mom."

I set the phone aside and go back to stand in front of the mirror to put on my tie. For the Gala. Tonight.

I can't believe the day is here, the day when I get to see Bella's dress and have her by my side. The best part will be introducing her to everyone as my girlfriend.

Since that day at my show, where the world saw us kissing, my PR team has been receiving call after call about my new collection and attempting to get the scoop on this new mystery girl I'm dating. So far, that's pretty much all they know since we always answer with a 'no comment' statement, but after tonight, that will be impossible.

After tonight, everyone will know who she is and not just as my date, but also they'll see her talent displayed in her own dress and Alice's.

I finish with the tie, which I think is a little crooked, and take the small box that Mom picked up for me earlier in the day and open it. I take a peek at what's inside and see it sparkle under the lights. I also notice the little bit of color that has reminded me of Bella since the first day I met her, and I can't help but smile when I remember that day.

I can't believe that it's been almost three months since I met her by the fountain on that hot afternoon. So much has happened since then, and I certainly never would've imagined that I'd be here tonight, actually looking forward to this party and not dreading it like I have for the past two years.

Carefully closing the box, I put it in my pocket and check that I have everything I need for the evening and text Bella, letting her know that I'm on my way.

It's just a short ride from my apartment to hers, but even that seems longer than usual with all my anticipation.

She buzzes me in and I make my way up the stairs, instantly hearing musical notes coming from her apartment. She's always playing music, whether it's loud and suffuses the rooms or a mystery tune she hums while she cooks or sketches.

This time, it's soft and calming. Someone's nervous.

"Hello? Bella? Where are you?" I open the door and find the living room and kitchen empty.

"Just checking if I have everything in my clutch." I turn in the direction of her voice, coming from her bedroom. Just then, she comes out towards me, deep in concentration while she checks her clutch.

I forget everything about tonight the moment she walks into the living room. Now all I see is her in the dress she designed and made.

The top section of the dress ties at her neck and then falls loosely down her front to her hips only to be fitted at that part. There, the same soft looking fabric, once again, drapes loosely down the rest of her body with soft ruffles lightly adorning the front of it.

"Oh, I forgot my coat. I'll be right back."

And Jesus, when she turns to go back to her room.

Backless, the dress is backless.

Her hair is up in a loose knot and it lets everyone see her entire back, with the dress tied at her neck. The bottom part of the dress, just below her hips, has a few similar ruffles like the front. Then, everything ends in a short train.

But all I see is skin. More and more skin and all I want to do is tug the tie at her neck and let the fabric fall.

Somehow, it's very _Bella_.

It's sexy and beautiful and soft. Even the color matches her: lively and unique.

"Amethyst?" I ask her when she comes back with her coat on her arm.

"Yes, I had a bit of inspiration a while ago." She's right in front of me and I can feel the heat of her body even through my clothes.

"Hi, by the way." Giving me a peck, she smiles and turns around, facing away from me.

I almost pout because that kiss was nothing like the one I want to get, but now all that skin is in front of me so I lose focus for a second, that is until I notice the tie at her neck and what rests there.

It's the brooch she bought when we were at the market.

"The brooch? How-? Isn't it dangerous?" I lightly touch it with my fingers. Won't the dress fall?

"Yes, it's the brooch. I had to adapt it, of course. It doesn't pinch anymore and it's not a brooch now after I finished with it. I sewed it into the fabric and now it holds the ties together. It won't fall off and it's firm into the fabric. However..." She reaches her hand back to touch the end where the amethyst of the, now non-brooch, rests. "If you tug at it with enough force, it unties the dress at the neck and the fabric falls."

Jesus, this woman.

I move forward and, after encircling her waist from behind, I trail kisses from her right shoulder, past her shoulder blades and on to her other side. I can feel her skin heating under my lips and a shiver that makes her whimper a little.

"Bella, I have no idea how am I gonna last the few hours we will be there." I groan and I mean it like never before.

"You invited me; it's your fault." Her voice is a little breathless and her hands are resting over mine at her waist.

I turn her and now that we're facing each other, she catches my lips with hers, kissing me while tugging at the lapels of my tux. I move my hands to her back, lightly touching the soft skin.

God, her skin. I'll be able to touch so much of her all night long.

Just when that thought makes me hold her tighter, Bella breaks the kiss and leans back, patting my chest.

"What's this? It's poking me," she asks, as she pats my pockets.

"That's why you stopped the kiss? Because something was poking you, not because we need to leave soon?" I laugh.

"Okay, we'll kiss when we get back then." Before she moves away, I catch her in my arms.

"Don't you dare, I need my fix now. We won't be able to kiss like this there. Well, without making it into the papers, that is."

"Shut up." She laughs and looks even more beautiful like this. All ready for a party, but not caring about messing up her hair or anything else.

"But now that you asked, I did bring you something." I take the box out of my pocket.

"I saw it online the other day and I thought you'd like this, but you don't have to wear it if you don't want to, I mean maybe you have-"

"Edward, stop rambling and give me the damn box."

"Sorry. So bossy."

Rolling her eyes she opens it and giggles when she sees what I brought her.

"Just something for good luck."

Inside the box there is a silver charm bracelet with little pearls dangling every half an inch, nothing out of the ordinary, really. And when she giggles, I know it's not at the bracelet itself, but at the single charm in its center.

A red _macaron_.

"I know it doesn't match your dress, maybe if you would've let me see it." I arch an eyebrow at her, but she's still looking at the bracelet. "You don't have to wear it tonight or at all. It just made me think of you and that first date we had that I didn't know was a date, but let's face it, it was."

Again with the blathering.

"Edward, stop rambling. Would you help me put it on?" Her eyes are glassy when she looks up. I kiss her forehead and help her, glad that she liked it and more that she's gonna wear it now.

"It may not match my dress tonight, but I'll wear it proudly. It means something to you, to _us_." She dangles it, lifting her wrist up to eye level.

"You know," she says, but doesn't take her eyes away from the bracelet. "That afternoon when we went to the museum and we ate the _macarons_ was the first time I knew I could fall for you. I was _really _nervous after meeting you two days before, but that day, I don't know," she sighs, "I knew that you were different and hurting and most of all, I knew that you were much more than even you realized."

I've been staring at her while she speaks, just seeing her reactions to the bracelet, and when she finally looks back, I know she's telling me the truth. She knew me from the start, really knew me and even when she saw that I was a mess, she stuck with me.

How could I've been so blind to not see this before?

"So, no. I don't care that the bracelet doesn't match my dress, because it matches us. The hell with what people think."

"I love you. And, you know, if you're not gonna care about the bracelet not matching the dress, then maybe we _can_ make out in front of everybody." Who cares what they think?

She starts laughing at what I said and a second later, I bring her to me and I kiss her. She's so warm and soft, her mouth always calling to me. I suck at her bottom lip and her tongue runs over my upper one. I move my hands to her back and I feel her moan into my mouth.

This only makes my body feel hot and I desperately want to get rid of our clothes. Now.

Yeah, I don't think we could do this in front of everyone.

All too soon, because with her it's always like that, she breaks the kiss and with a smile, rests her head on my chest. We're both catching our breaths.

"We really have to go, Edward. I mean, _really_."

"I know, just give me a second." Laughing, she moves back to her bedroom.

Tease.

While she re-applies her make-up, I try to gain some control of my body and soon we're standing at the front of the bakery.

"Wait a minute, you have a car?" She eyes the black car in front of us and the driver holding the door open for us.

"Yes, but it's not this one. This one has a driver who will take us to the party and back. I don't feel like driving."

"Thank you, Alain." I say to the driver and we're off.

"If you have a car and can use a driver, then why do you use the _Métro_ so much?"

"Well, I don't go out that much and as you know, I live close to work so I walk every day there and back. Also, Rose and my parents live close to _Métro_stations, so why not? I like to walk and hate traffic, it's a simple solution. Traffic makes me moody."

"You? Never!"

"Okay, _moodier_. Of course, every time I have functions or more formal things, I use the driver. I'd never take you to this Gala in the _Métro_."

"Good to know." Now she laughs. That would be an image: us dressed like this riding the subway.

"I use my own car, whenever I go out of town. I like that the traffic is much lighter on the road."

"Okay, I guess it makes sense. I thought I was your cheap date or something." She teases and pouts.

"Never think that. We'll drive down to my parents' country house when we go there."

Minutes later, we arrive and all teasing ends.

Flashes and shouts swim all around the car and from the way Bella grips my hand, I can tell she's nervous.

"Don't worry, just be yourself. They'll love you." I kiss her hand and then the door opens.

Here we go.

O~o~O~LB~O~o~O

After an exhausting entrance with all the photographers and reporters yelling and calling my name and yelling for Bella as well, we finally made it inside.

This year, the Gala is held at _Le Grand Palais_ on the _Champs-Élysées_. It's a beautiful, large structure, located right by the Seine river. I usually come here because of the museum complex, but it's at events like this that you can see it really shine.

It shows a mixture of construction techniques all throughout the structure, with its glass vault, iron and light steel framing and its use of reinforced concrete. During the day, the sunlight filters through the glass dome into the big vault and at night, colored lights dance down the walls.

Tonight is no different.

We are directed to _La Nef_, the heart of _Le_ _Grand Palais_, with its big dome made of glass at the center. Lights are all around us, hidden in the decorations and color seems to be the theme this year, with large colorful fabrics falling from the second floor, down the pillars at the sides of the structure.

People are standing in different groups and a big stage stands at the end of the room, with a live band playing at the moment. There's a bar to our right and tables scattered around the room, near the walls, to leave space at the center for a dance floor and to have the short fashion show later in the night for the auction.

"What do you think?" There's too much noise around, so I have to talk close to her ear.

"Wow, it's beautiful. I don't know where to look first." She's looking around, taking in every detail. Instead of looking around he room like she is, I just stare at her face, seeing her reactions to things I can't see at the moment.

"Well, we're gonna be here a couple of hours; you have time to see a lot of it. We can come back in daytime if you want to."

"Thanks. I know this must be kind of boring to you."

"Usually, but not tonight." I take her hand and we enter farther into the room.

I greet people here and there and every time, I introduce Bella as my girlfriend and much like Chelsea at Fashion Week, they fall into easy conversations about fashion and the party.

After a while I notice that people are curious about Bella, wanting to know more about this woman who was able to make me change this much. Because apparently, my change is obvious to everyone.

What people think is the last thing I care about as the night advances, for what I'm most proud of is the fact that Bella is the one who surprises them with her knowledge and charm. She had been nervous about tonight, but seeing her make easy conversation with people who are usually intimidating, makes my face hurt with all the smiling.

A few days ago, we talked about what she wanted to do for her future and she finally decided: she wants her own line, her own business. I would've loved having her work for me, but that was never going to work. We are too much of a distraction to each other. So she's been putting together a portfolio with designs and creating a business plan to get financing from investors. Nothing too big, but still this is a business. I even told her I could ask Tanya to give her some names of useful people.

She won't be using my name in this, she wants to do everything by herself, but her link to me is inevitable.

"Bella! There you are." We turn from admiring the details of the arch in front of us and see Alice and Jasper making their way over to us.

I see Alice's dress and it's even better than the last time I saw it.

"We've been looking for you, but it seems everyone beat us to you." We hug and kiss and Alice beams proudly at us.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, we got here a while ago and I've been talking to quite a few people, and from the looks of it, everyone is talking about you two."

"What? What are they saying?" Bella looks worried, but I think I know what Alice will say.

"That you two make a cute couple and they want to know more about you, Bella. More about your dress and mine." Now she twirls. "I've been telling everyone you made this."

Bella doesn't speak, she opts for burying her face into my chest and hugs me tightly.

"Hey, are you ok? We can leave if you want to." I look over to Alice and Jasper and they look worried.

"No, it's just-" Looking up to my face, I see her eyes with unshed tears. She's overwhelmed.

"It's a lot," I finish for her. She nods.

"Do you feel like maybe taking a break for a bit?"

"Yeah, that would be great."

"Okay, come with me." I see Alice squeezing Bella's hand. It's not her fault this was too much for Bella.

"We'll find you later at our table, okay?" I tell them and lead Bella outside.

I only say a few quick hellos to people I know on our way outside and soon we're on the terrace of _Mini Palais_, the restaurant site of _Grand Palais_. It's closed tonight, since we'll be eating in _La Nef_. This is much better as there are no people around and the noise from the party is only a muffled buzz out here.

"Is this better?" I take her hand as we walk down the long terrace.

All the chairs and tables are piled up inside the restaurant, so the terrace is open and clear of furnishings. To our right, tall white columns with statues at their bases, draw different shadows on the marbled floor in front of us.

"Yeah, this is better. And pretty as well." We're standing in front of one of the statues.

It's a little chilly out here, so I pull her closer to me with my arm around her shoulders.

"I'm sorry." She whispers sadly. "I guess it was a little too much."

"Don't be sorry. I get it."

"It's been so long since I've been able to talk about fashion with someone. I mean, I talk to Alice, but it's not the same as with these people here. It's like we're equals and it made me feel good to be able to say something back and have them actually listen to me. It was the same when we were at Fashion Week."

She did look so happy talking to people. She transformed in front of me, talking and joking and enchanting them. She wasn't nervous, she was in her element.

"But then to hear Alice say that people are talking about me, even saying good things. It made me remember that time back in New York and how good it felt to be recognized by your hard work. It just didn't end very well and that made me panic a little."

I sigh and move her so that we're now face to face.

"I get it, I really do. Little things make you go back to crappy times. But Bella, that's not gonna happen again, you get that, right? I'll never treat you like that guy did and things will not end like they did then. You have the chance to do whatever you want with your designs. Teach, create, whatever you want."I kiss her forehead.

"I loved seeing you be all excited about your plans for the future when we talked the other day." I trace her cheek with my hand. "And that woman I saw just now, talking and being confident with these people, that's the woman that's gonna make it all happen. You."

It's a little dark out here, except for a few lights in the distance, but I can see her smile softly and her eyes lose their teariness. I like that I make her happy.

"You think so?"

"No, I'm sure of it. Bella, you're always so strong and confident except when it comes to your work. I really can't tell you not to do that, since I hesitate and have doubts about everything I do." She rolls her eyes and of course doesn't fight me on this. "But being with you has taught me not to doubt so much. It's exhausting and believe me, that sucks the life out of you." I've been much more creative when I let things go and stop looking over my shoulder.

"You're right, I have to stop doing that. I may not be the best designer, but I'm not a crappy one either. So, from now on, I'll do as you do: take steps forward. And I'll try not to hesitate."

"Okay then, and I'll try that no hesitation part, that was a good one. My girlfriend is smart." I tease her.

"And you're kinda cute, so we're even."

I kiss her and trail my hands down her back to the edge of her dress. I feel her skin heating and I smile against her lips.

"Thank you for saying those things." I feel her lips on my neck.

"You're welcome, but it's all you."

We stay on the terrace a little longer, with my arm around her or holding her hand. We talk about the statues to our right, and she giggles when I joke and make up stories about them. It feels like that time at the Louvre; only this time, I get to touch her as much as I want to.

O~o~O~LB~O~o~O

We find our table a while later and see everyone is already seated there. Mom and Dad, Alice and Jasper and even Rose and Emmett. Next to them there's Tanya and her date and a few people I know.

"Thought you left or something," Rose says when we approach the table.

"No, just taking some air," I tell her, and see Alice hug Bella and have a whispered conversation.

"Oh Bella, your dress is beautiful," Mom gushes and then all the girls surround Bella to see it more closely.

"I bet Edward loves it as well." Jasper says with a smirk.

I groan. Damn him.

"Dude, I'd make some jokes about it, but Bella's like my little sister. That's just wrong." Emmett is at my side and when I turn to him, he's looking at Rose.

"Thanks, and Rose _is_my sister, so please don't make those jokes either way."

"It's not like that." And from the look on his face, I know he's telling the truth. He sees her like there's no one else around.

Rose looks happy tonight, laughing and interacting with others. I saw her in passing earlier and noticed how Emmett kept a hand on her back when they were talking to someone I didn't know. I know she's probably a little anxious with so many people around, but I can see that Emmett will be there for her, calming her.

"And what's this little thing?"

"That's a gift from Edward." They're all looking at the charm and giving me questioning looks. Bella was right, if she likes it, that's all that matters.

"A _macaron_? That's cute." I know they don't get it, but it's our own little thing.

We sit to eat and the next hour passes like this. We talk and eat; we make plans and share what we did over the week.

A few times, people I know come to our table to say hi and half the time they end up talking solely to Bella. The dress is a big hit, not only hers but Alice's as well, and she doesn't waste any opportunity to praise Bella.

By the end of dinner, I'm sure Bella made more contacts than I did when I first started, and I'm sure she'll be getting some calls next week.

I look around the table while everyone talks over coffee. Bella is talking to Tanya as I keep making these little patterns on her back with my hand. At first she blushed a little, but now she almost leans into my touch.

I'm happy. I don't mean just for being with Bella here and now, but about everything in my life.

I see Mom and Dad, he's whispering in her ear and she laughs with him. I remember seeing them do that often when I was younger. They'd share their own private stories and act like teenagers in love. I'm glad they are in my life now and I'm ashamed for pushing them away at a time when their comfort would've made all the difference. I just didn't want it. Now, I can't honestly imagine my life without them in it.

A little to the left, I see Rose and Emmett. She's talking about something, moving her hands and making gestures all around. It's like she's seeing the story she's telling right in front of her. That makes her a great author, her words always make you feel like you're inside those books. Emmett nods and smiles, but most of all he looks at _her_. He looks at her like she's telling him life's secrets, and he'll believe them if she says they are. I know she'll be introducing Marie to him next week and watching her tonight interact with people, interact with Emmett, I know that my sister finally found what she was looking for. Love.

Then there's Alice and Jasper, my new friends. Loyal and funny and I couldn't ask for better people to be in my life. They took care of what I love the most, and with Emmett, they'll always have a high spot in my heart. I truly believe that I can trust them. It's not about trusting them with my designs, because they have nothing to do with that, but it is pure trust that they'll be there for me and Bella whenever we need them. I couldn't ask for better friends.

And there's Tanya. My friend who, much like Rose, never gave up on me and didn't stand for my crap. She's utterly loyal and protective and seeing her laugh when she's often so serious, makes me wish that she finds someone who can appreciate her like she deserves.

I hear laughter to my left and see Bella with Tanya. Bella, the woman I love and the catalyst to all the changes in my life for the past months. Not only does she make me think of a future I thought I would never have after Renata, but she makes me _want _that future. She helped me see that trusting others and not trying to control things is a much better way of life, even when I have to convince myself of that sometimes.

She not only touched my life but those around me as well. Because of her influence, I approached my parents, mending something that never should've broken. They've been waiting for this for two years. She also introduced Emmett into our lives, and just by looking at Rose, anyone can see that he's changing her life.

But most of all, Bella brought love into my life. I love her and she loves me back. There's no better feeling than that. Plain and simple.

As if sensing something, perhaps because I've been silent for too long while everyone talks, Bella shifts in her seat to face me.

"Are you ok?" I lean into her palm at my cheek.

Warmth, that's the only word I think when it comes to her.

"Yeah, don't worry. Have I told you that I love you today?"

"Yes, several times actually."

"Several? Pff, that's not enough." With short kisses to her face, I say the words over and over.

"They're so cute." I hear Mom at the other side of the table.

"Jasper, are we cute like that?"

"Yes, dear. We are. We're also hot."

"Stop that, Bella and Alice are like my sisters. This is disgusting." Emmett whines.

"Come on, I want to bid on some things at the silent auction." Rose sounds almost amused.

I hear chairs scrapping and after I finish my kisses, I turn from Bella and see the table empty.

"We know how to clear a table." Bella laughs.

"If that's all it takes, I'll kiss the hell out of you." I kiss her a little more.

I barely recognize myself and how I act nowadays.

"Edward?" We both stop and see Chelsea standing next to us.

"Chelsea, lovely to see you tonight."

"I'd say the same, but I don't think you're noticing anyone else." She's right, but more than that, I just want to take Bella home and be alone with her.

"Anyway, I came to take Bella to meet some friends."

"So you've come to steal my girlfriend away from me."

"You can come meet them too, you know. Although, watch out, they're just a bit handsy."

"Yeah, no thanks. Why would I want fifty-year-old women to grope me?"

"Okay, you wuss. It's us girls then."

"Are you sure? You can come too." Bella smiles at us.

"I'm good, go ahead. I'm going to the bar and then I'll look for you, okay? Have fun."

I watch them leave and then work my way around the tables to the bar. I see that they are getting things ready for the fashion show in a little while.

I'm not the only one donating a few items of my collection. Ten designers did the same, so the organization decided to put together a small fashion show at the center of the room to show all the garments. After that, all the items will be auctioned along with other donations. There's also a silent auction going on in another room, to which I donated my services to create a design of the winner's choice.

I'm scared already. God knows what they'll ask for, but it's for a good cause.

I wait for my drinks and scan the room, looking for my family and Bella.

"Edward Cullen." A man says to my right. The voice from a man that I never thought I'd see again.

Renata's father.

"Marcus?"

"Good to see you, Edward." We shake hands and even though I'm touching him, I can't believe he's here in front of me.

I always liked Marcus; he was always a fun guy to be around. And after Renata died, he was at least civil around me. Which I can't say about his wife.

Renata inherited a few features from Marcus: her eyes and her hair. All the rest she got from her mother. So seeing his eyes at this moment, certainly feels like I'm staring at Renata for a few seconds. These are not the same eyes as before though. Once vibrant and happy all the time, they now look dull and lifeless. He looks older than his years and deep wrinkles mar his face.

"Good to see you too, Marcus. How is Gianna?" I barely managed to say these words, I have no idea what to do.

"She's... better. We're better now. She's in Italy right now, visiting relatives. I'm here on business. You know most of the time these parties are more about that than actually having fun." And for a split second when he smiles, it's almost like he's not forcing it.

"Yeah, I know. Just business meetings with better clothing."

"So, how are you? I've seen a few things here and there in the press these past two years."

I cringe.

"Don't worry, I know half of what they say isn't true. Although, they might be right this time." I see him looking past me and when I turn, I see Bella laughing with some ladies.

"Marcus, I-"

"Edward, you don't have to say anything. You're moving on and that's normal. I can't say it wasn't surprising, but I'm glad you're doing it. You know, I always liked you; you were good to my daughter, even when-" He shakes his head and takes a sip of his drink.

I nod. It's true; I knew he liked me back then. He thought I was good for Renata; that maybe she'd finally settle with me and we'd build a life. Too bad Renata didn't want that, with me at least.

Her mother was another matter. She liked how we looked, and it didn't matter to her who I was. I tried to win her affection time after time, but I always thought she was being fake towards me. In the end, she blamed me for everything that happened to her daughter. She said I wasn't man enough for Renata and that's why she sought someone else. She never saw any flaws in her daughter.

"Anyway, I saw you here and thought about saying hi. It's good to see you doing well and that what happened hasn't jaded you."

If he only knew.

"Marcus, I'm sorry about everything. I should've seen more at the time, maybe helped her more. I just-"

"Sorry? You're sorry?" He sounds incredulous. "I feel like I should be telling you this. It was my daughter who cheated on you after all." He laughs humorlessly.

"Helping her is all I think about now, how I should've seen that she needed it. She looked so happy and in love, I only wanted my daughter to look like that all the time."

Silence falls between us, as others talk around us. I'm sure some of them are watching us right now, probably waiting for a confrontation.

Listening to him, it seems I wasn't the only one taking the blame for what happened. The difference is that they ended up losing a daughter. I can't even think about their pain.

"I also came here to close up our house. We won't be coming back to Paris anymore, too many memories."

I understand that. I had to move after our divorce, I could barely stand the place.

"Well, I have to go. It was good to see you, son. Maybe we'll see each other again." And as soon as he says the words, I know that won't happen. This is already painful to him.

"It was great seeing you, Marcus. I hope you and Gianna find some peace outside of Paris."

"Me too, son. Me too." And with a firm shake of hands, the man that I called friend and family walks out of my life.

It almost seems surreal. I truly never thought we'd see each other again, but I'm glad I did. I'm glad I could tell him how sorry I am for everything, even though our talk was brief and there was much we could've said. Maybe we're done talking about this.

"Hey, are you okay? Who was that?" I close my eyes and lean into Bella's hand on my cheek. Again, warmth.

"Yeah, I'm okay. That was Renata's father, he wanted to say hello."

"Really? And you're okay after that?"

"Strangely enough, yeah I am. It was weird seeing him, but not bad. Not bad at all." With a small kiss to her temple, we go back to our table to sit with the rest of our family.

O~o~O~LB~O~o~O

When we get to the table, from the looks of my family, I know they recognized Marcus, but with a slight shake I let them know that this wasn't the time to talk about this.

A little later, the fashion show starts and then the auction. Everything is a hit and all the items are bought after an hour. The fashion show presented very well in this place, and I make a few comments to Tanya that we might want to use it for our own events in the future. I wasn't backstage this time, I had let Kate organize that part and I couldn't be more proud of her. She did a great job and afterwards, I let her know about it.

Her answering smile was enough to make think that I made the right choice with the job I gave her.

After a bit of chaos, the center runway is transformed into a dance floor, something that has Bella literally bouncing her legs in excitement.

"So, one of Chelsea's friends wants me to go to her office next week to talk business. She liked my two dresses and she's been thinking about financing new designers." We're dancing and she has her face resting in my neck.

"What? That's great, Bella. You'll have your own line in no time."

"Maybe, but still. I have to propose a good business plan to her and convince her that I'm perfect for her project. Apparently, she'll be financing five new designers, so I might not get chosen."

"You will, I know you will and it's gonna be all you."

"I'm all excited now, I wanna go home and start setting up my portfolio and maybe-" She stops when she sees me laughing.

"Look at you, all business-like. Are you gonna wear a suit for the meeting too?"

"Oh, shush." She squeals when I tickle her side. "I'm not telling you anything else, Edward Cullen."

"Pff, I have my ways." I wiggle my eyebrows at her and she keeps laughing, but soon her laughter dies and her pretty smile is gone. Now she looks… sad.

"Hey, you know I was kidding, right?" I scrunch my eyebrows in concern.

"Yes, I'm not that touchy. I was just thinking about all these plans and changes and good things in my life." Standing on her tiptoes, she gives me a peck. "And it made me miss my Mom. She'd be _so_happy being here. Meeting you, talking to your parents and trying to convince Dad to dance with her, which he would in the end."

I nod and look at our table, where Mom and Dad are sitting. I'm so lucky and I was moronic enough not to appreciate it.

"She'd be so proud of you Bella. How could she not?"

We dance in silence for the rest of the song, I let her have her memories and her time to think. We always work like this. When we're ready, we talk.

"Well, would you look at that? The couple of the hour."

We stop dancing and face this asshole.

"James, what are you doing here?" I move Bella slightly away from him and from the corner of my eye, I notice that a few eyes are on us. Of course, people love to watch a train wreck.

"This is a party. Why not be here?"

He looks like he's well on his way to getting drunk, swaying a little and looking disheveled.

"Look, I don't want any trouble, so back away and let us be." I try to be the voice of reason, even though I want to punch him.

"I don't want trouble either. I was here to ask Miss Swan if she wanted to dance with me." He extends his hand to Bella. But unlike the first time they met, when I had no claim on Bella, I do now.

"She doesn't want to dance with you, and you need some coffee. Don't make an ass out of yourself."

"Why don't you let her answer? Are you her boss?" Anger drips from every word he says.

"No, he's not. And he's right, I don't want to dance with you, Mr. Cross. And I think you need to sit and calm down." God, I love her.

"Ahh, _Bella_, don't be like that. Just one dance and I'll show you some moves that-"

"Okay, that's enough. Mr. Cross, I think you need to step away." Emmett interferes, and I thank God he did, I was really close to punching him.

"Okay, okay."He lifts his arms in surrender when he sees the size of Emmett. "Miss Swan, I'll be seeing you around."

"The hell you will." I growl, which he returns with a smile and walks away.

"Man, I wanted it to be a fight," Emmett whines as we watch James leave.

"Thanks, man. I just wanted to punch him."

"Yeah, I saw that. I just wanted in on the fun."

"He's not worth it." Bella runs her hand down my arm. "Now, come on you two. I think it's time for some cake."

She's right, he's not worth it, but he still gets to me every time. And when he mentioned seeing her again? I almost lost it there. He taints everything he touches and no way he's getting close to her.

After the must-have cake, and Emmett's recount of what happened with James, we're finally ready to leave for the night.

O~o~O~LB~O~o~O

On the drive back, we remain silent, it was a very eventful night.

She's by my side, playing with her bracelet, something I noticed she did all throughout the night. It made people ask her about it and every time, she answered with the same statement: "it was a gift from my boyfriend." Then we'd give each other secret smiles and keep its meaning a secret.

I recognize the streets and I know we're close to her place, but I don't want the night to end, I still want to spend some time with her.

With a look at Bella, I tell the driver to take us back to my place. I want her to sleep in my bed; I want to start making memories with her there.

She smiles and leans to kiss my lips, then returns to rest at my side.

"That was fun," she says, while she takes off her coat in my living room, facing away from me.

"Yeah." I take off my tie and let it fall to the couch. My eyes are fixated on the back of her dress.

Bella doesn't turn, and if nothing else, she seems to be waiting for me.

I stand behind her, running light touches down her arms. I bend and start tracing kisses from one shoulder to the other. She shivers and leans slightly backwards, seeking my touch on her back.

"Edward."

I move my hands to her waist and with my thumbs, I start drawing little shapes on her skin. She feels so soft, she always does, but every time it's like I find something new. A new freckle, a new sound when I touch her. Things that I've been too blind to see.

And now, trailing soft kisses down her spine, I find that she's ticklish the closer I get to her waist.

I go up with my mouth, following the same path and holding her more firmly with my hands as she wriggles from my kisses.

"And now, let's see if this brooch works properly," I whisper in her ear when I reach her neck. The damn thing has been taunting me all night.

With a firm tug, I separate the two pieces and next thing I know, the front of her dress falls down, but only to her waist since it's fitted there. She moves to face me and again, I can't stop staring at her body: her breasts, her stomach, her curves.

With hurried fingers, she unbuttons my shirt and now excitement replaces everything else.

"You've been teasing me with this dress all night and yet you're the one who can't wait to get me naked." I grunt when I feel her hands on my chest.

"You've been taunting me with what's beneath this suit, at least you've seen skin. Now get naked, Mister."

"Glad that I have the same effect on you then."

With a little more fumbling, I'm naked in front of her and eager to just tug the rest of her dress down her body.

I nearly choke when I see that she had been wearing no panties underneath.

"Bella, what-"

"Stop with the words, I need you."

Lifting her up, I move us to my bedroom where I lay her in my bed and kiss my way from her legs to her lips.

She looks so good in my bed.

I kiss her again and smile when I hear her beg for me. It's been so long since I've felt like someone really needs me. Just me. And Bella shows me how much, when she's the one taking control, moving her hands up and down my body, making me regret not giving in to her earlier.

I feel hot kisses on my chest and murmured words I can't understand, but I think I know what she is saying.

"I love you, I love you. I love you." I repeat over and over. I never knew I'd be this much of a mumbling mess in front of a woman.

I grab her hips, I knead her backside, I press her waist, all in a move to bring her closer to me, to almost get inside of her. Because much like the first time we were together, it's never enough with her.

She moves on top of me and with the help of her hand, she sinks down onto me, and it's like our first time all over again. Every time with her is different, there is always love there, we're always making love, but tonight, there is something else. When she starts moving her hips and talking softly, I realize that tonight, she _needs_ me. Not to comfort her, not to talk sweetly to her, but to make her feel good.

Lust... and with a smirk, I comply.

I watch her move above me, her muscles tensing and releasing. I touch her body, memorizing what makes her do what. Her moans, her words, her moves, everything hurries to one single moment and there is nothing else in the world but that. And when we're both at the edge, I sit up and press myself flush to her, swallowing her cries, feeling her shake against my body.

I lay us back down, still clinging to her, running my hands over her sweaty skin while she does the same to my hair.

This night, I not only got to see how my life is much better with Bella in it, for me and for my family as well, but also, I got to see how it could be as well. Not only needing someone, but also feel needed as well, in every sense of the word.

And with the way our night ended, being needed is looking pretty good.

* * *

><p><strong>So, I wanted something kinda 'tangible' to show how Edward's life changed since Bella is with him, hence the party. Honestly, it could've been Bingo at the community center and it would've had the same effect, but this is prettier, lol. <strong>

**Much like Edward said, not only he changed, but Bella affected other people's lives with her presence. In the end, that's what we all do, most of the time without even realizing it. Wherever they end up, they touched each other's lives and that will always stay with them. As it is, this is a high high for him, both personally and professionally.**

**There are pics this week of the **_**Grand Palais**_**, the dress, bracelet and short fashion show, which you can find here: **_s1083 (dot) photobucket (dot) com/albums/j400/choclover82/Little%20Buttons/_ **just look for the Ch20 folder to the right (I recommend using the slideshow, it looks prettier), but a couple of things:**

**- The dress: I pictured it early in the story, _before_ finding a photo, so that pic is as close as to what I wanted that I could find. I love backless dresses and something like this felt very Bella to me: flowy and sexy. Just imagine the color is amethyst instead of fuchsia and the back is completely bare.**

**- The brooch: it was the one Bella bought in the market back in Chapter 6, the pic for it is in that folder, in case you don't remember it.**

**- The bracelet and charm: because I suck at photoshopping, just imagine that the pic you'll see has only one charm and that it's red.**

**Also, the lovely girls at The Perv Pack's Smut Shack rec'd 'Little Buttons' in their Lemon Report on February 7th. :-D Thank you, lovelies. You can check it out here:**_ _www (dot) pervpackssmutshack (dot) com/2012/02/lemon-report-2712 (dot) html_  
><em>

**Next chapter... we're going out of town.**

**And that's it for this week, sorry for the delay this time. Have a nice day and I'll see ya in two more weeks, hopefully with a shorter A/N, lol.  
><strong>


	21. Stars

**Hello ladies:**

**Thanks for stopping by for yet another week of this, lol.**

**Many thanks to my beta Songster for her help in making me look like I know what I'm doing here. For realz.**

**I don't own Twilight.**

**And let's see...**

O~o~O~LB~O~o~O

'**Stars'**

Left.

Right.

Left.

Right.

With my eyes closed, I feel warm lips alternating between my left and right shoulder as they move back and forth, traveling down my chest. Her tongue sometimes licks and her teeth nip, and I can almost feel her smiling against me, trying to make me move.

I don't want to let her win, but who am I kidding? Trying to keep still is an impossibility when it comes to her. Just the feel of her mouth on places that she's visited before, and her breath fanning over my skin is enough to make me want to jump and continue last night's activities.

Pretending to be asleep was doomed from the start.

"I know you're awake," she murmurs against my stomach, continuing to kiss me.

I smile and, without opening my eyes, move my hands to touch her. I feel her wild locks between my fingers and the image of how they got that way makes me grin this time: her body underneath me, sweating and stretching; her mouth open, moaning my name and what she wants me to do.

Yeah, I'm grinning and I don't care if that gives me away.

"You're so freaking smug. Why am I with you?" Her lips now take a detour and she starts kissing her way up. My hands start touching everything they can reach as she slowly inches closer and closer to my face.

When she stills, I open my eyes and I find her face directly above mine, her arms on each side of my head and her hair falling in front of her, caging us. My hands are now tracing little circles on her hips and I feel her squirm slightly when I do it.

"Because you love me, Bella Swan, and I kinda love you too."

She rolls her eyes and lowers herself to meet my lips. I take the opportunity to bring her flush to me, and I move my hands to her back and press her closer. She doesn't mind at all, if the laugh that accompanies her kiss says anything.

With her legs straddling me, and her body on top molding to mine, we kiss. Her mouth is hot and soft and if I could kiss her all day, I so would. The fact that I can actually do that if I want to makes me kiss her more strongly.

Ever since the first time we slept together, I can't keep my hands off of her, which is saying a lot since I touched her constantly before that. Now even kissing has gone from addictive to pretty much vital at this point.

I feel her hands scratching my head as her hair tickles my cheeks and her breasts press to my chest, and when I hear her tiny moans, I swallow them with my kiss.

My hands move on her back, touching and groping, up and down. We've spent many times like this, naked in bed, so even with my eyes closed, I can just picture how her body moves against my palms. But before I get to take things much further, she breaks the kiss, leans back and moves her hair to her right side.

I can't deny that I pout when I feel the air hit my lips.

Since the windows are on her left side, I tilt my head over that shoulder and see how her naked body shines under the lights of the morning. The curtains are wide open, so the entire room is bathed in light, which lets me see her addictive body with no restrictions.

I love mornings.

"What are you doing?" Bella asks as she innocently kicks her legs and wriggles on top of me a little down my body, hitting a not so innocent spot.

I moan.

"More like what are _you_ doing?" Of course I don't stop her, but it's very distracting.

"I'm just letting my boyfriend check me out." She folds her arms on top of my chest and rests her chin on top of her hands.

I look down at her as I fold my arms at the back of my head. I love Bella in the mornings. Well, I love her all day, but it's usually times like this that she looks so much more beautiful than any other time, with her sleepy smile, no make-up, wild hair and naked body. It's just her and me.

"Well, your boyfriend loves to check you out. Maybe you should stay like this all day long." I tease, but not really.

"You really want me to spend the entire weekend here at the house naked and not go outside?" Now she's the one who gets to pout.

She knows it gets to me every time. So I close my eyes.

She's right though, we came here to my parents' house to rest, but also to actually go outside and see the town.

It's been two weeks since the Gala and we were finally able to clear our schedules to take some time off and come here to _Eygalières_, in the south of France.

I really needed this time away from everything, and it's nice not to have to think about hemlines and cuts and colors. My brain needs a rest. Also, I wanted to take the chance to take Bella away from her own worries.

Last week, she received a call from the people she met at the Gala and they want to see her next week. She's been nervous ever since, double checking everything before that meeting. It doesn't help that there has been good press since the party and Fashion Week. My studio gets calls all the time and Bella does as well, asking for designs and meetings. It's great, but at the moment it only adds more pressure to her to be better.

I smile thinking about how happy and relaxed she looked when she saw this house last night.

My Mom's family comes from this region, but all my cousins and aunt moved to other places in time, so now this is the only thing left tying us here. Mom would never give this up.

My grandfather built it for my grandmother as a wedding gift over fifty years ago, and she lived here until the day she died, long after grandpa died of a heart attack. The house was left to my Mom and my aunt Sophie after that, but she didn't care for it, so Mom bought her share and started remodeling it.

It's actually a pretty cozy place: two stories high with four bedrooms, vines covering some of the walls of the house and a big garden surrounding it. The property is lined with walls covered in even thicker vines, except for the front portion, where there is actually a white picket fence with flowers adorning the entrance.

We would argue with Mom that the place needs a more secure entrance. Someone could easily break in, but the town is so small and everybody knows everybody, that the chances of someone coming here and going unnoticed are pretty slim.

That's what we love about it actually, the feel of a secluded village in the French countryside. It's just us down here.

We got here last night, on Friday, and we're going back to Paris Monday night. With only three days available, I'm planning on spending as much of that time naked with Bella as possible. But I guess she's right about going outside after all.

"Yeah, I guess you're right." I sigh and open my eyes once again.

"Don't look so pained," she laughs and I feel her shake above me. "It should be fun and besides, there will be plenty of time to do all of _that_."

I groan; I know she's right, but I want to spend my time just with her. I'm greedy.

She lifts her left hand and moves it to my forehead, gently smoothing the skin there. I smile when I see the small charm dangling from her bracelet in front of my eyes. Ever since I gave her the bracelet, she rarely takes it off. I don't mind at all, since that is often the only thing she wears.

"This is fading away," she whispers.

"What is? My forehead?" I give her a small laugh and that makes her smile wide.

"This crease in your forehead." She keeps passing her fingers over my forehead. "It was _always_ there when we met, you were constantly frowning without even noticing."

"I was?" I knew I smiled very little, but always frowning?

"Yeah, maybe that's why your designers were afraid to approach you." She does this soft little laugh. She's right to laugh; the picture she's painting makes me look like an ogre.

"But now." She softly moves her hand from my forehead to the corner of my right eye. "Now these little crinkles here are becoming more apparent."

I close my eyes and let her keep touching me.

"You smile more often than you frown. I like these smile lines around your eyes rather than the ones in your forehead."

Her fingertips make soft touches to my face, each one making me shiver slightly before they touch me again. How does she do that? How can she turn simple touching of my face into more? She's taking notice of something that _I_ didn't even know about myself.

I can see what she's saying. It's true. There was little reason for me to smile before meeting her, except during my time with Rose and Marie.

I move my right hand from the back of my head and place it over the one she's using to touch my face. I open my eyes then and slowly lift her hand and bring it to my mouth, kissing every finger and her palm.

"It's all you, you know?" It's always her. "You're the one making me all wrinkled around the eyes, Bella Swan."

"Ass." She laughs and hides her face in my chest.

"Why am I the ass? You're the one marring this beautiful face."

"Maybe you need a little marring, you're too pretty." Bella peers at me after she rests her cheek on top of the hand she hasn't moved from my chest.

"I'm not pretty. I'm manly and handsome and rough around the edges." I let her see my profile. The urge to laugh at this ridiculousness is strong.

From the corner of my eye, I see her shoulders shaking with laughter and her face is again buried in my chest. I just can't resist any longer and I join her in laughing. She does this to me all the time, makes me laugh at myself.

After our laughter dies, we stay in bed like that. She tells me stories about her friends and things she likes and I tell her stories about summers in this house or vacations with my family in Chicago. She smiles or laughs or listens with rapt attention to my stories. All the while, I'm still holding one of her hands in mine, playing with her fingers. She wiggles them or tickles my palm or tries to squeeze my hand, attempting to prove that she's stronger than I am.

As we keep talking, I often have to force myself to focus on her words, since every little movement, even the ones she doesn't realize she's making, are very distracting. Her other hand, the one resting on my chest, scratches me when she curls her fingers from time to time; her knees moving at the sides of my legs, rubbing the soft skin of her thighs against my own; or the way her hair falls to the side of my body, tickling me when she laughs.

"You've changed so much," she says later on when we've grown silent.

We're both staring at our joined hands, and the sun peeking from the window makes the tiny hairs on our arms shine. It also makes her bracelet glow.

"I know."

"You never would've joked like this or even admitted that you're changing. You simply wouldn't have seen it." She's right; it took other people to start pointing out the change for me to see it.

"You don't even have to be asleep anymore to let your guard down." She says and I frown.

"What do you mean?"

"Remember that day you were sick and I went to take care of you?" I nod. "Well, apparently the medicine you took was a little strong for you." She smiles, like she has a secret and can't wait to tell me.

"Well, you sort of admitted that you had feelings for me that day. You just didn't notice you were saying it."

I try to recall that day. It's kind of foggy, and I remember thinking that I liked her touch and that she belonged with me, but surely- Wait.

"I said those things _out loud_?" Shit. What else did I say?

"Yes." Now she laughs. "But don't worry, you didn't say anything bad. Just that you liked me to touch you and that you… already started falling for me." She looks a little sheepish with that last one.

"Why didn't you say anything before now?"

"Because you were sick and it was something in the moment, I didn't think you'd remember. And most importantly, you weren't ready to admit it. What would you have done if I had said something the next day?"

Freak out, that's what.

"Your face says it all, right now." She leans forward and kisses me. "You weren't ready and honestly, I barely was too. I knew I had strong feelings for you, but I was so scared for the both of us." She takes a deep breath.

"But we're not them anymore. You're not afraid to say you love me, to show me that. And now sick and whiny Edward makes his appearance more often." I scowl and she laughs.

"I was not whiny." It's not lost on me that at this moment _I am_ sounding whiny.

"I love _you_, Edward. The guy I met months ago, so freaking lost and scared, and the one here in this bed, making jokes and touching me without fear."

I feel like an asshole sometimes for needing her to say the words, for needing her to tell me that she loves _me_. I know she does, but sometimes those old doubts come back and leave me thinking that she could do so much better. But the thing is, that doesn't make want to leave and let her find that guy, on the contrary, it makes me want to _be_ that guy for her. No over-thinking every step and no mistakes.

And I think I'm getting there.

I always shake those bad thoughts as quickly as they come though, and enjoy what we have now, what we could be. I can't go and doubt her because of other people's actions. She's never given me reasons for me to doubt her.

I stop staring at our hands and turn to her. What I find in her eyes is familiar after so many times together like this. She's looking at me with her eyes and her heart wide open, without fear that I might retreat or deny what she's saying. How could I? It's the truth.

She doesn't have to walk on eggshells around me when she wants to say something anymore; she doesn't have to gauge when I'm ready for her to share her feelings.

She trusts me and she loves me.

"Not anymore," I say. "No more doubts."

I move from my position and sit up, helping her to sit on my lap.

The room is brighter since we woke up a while ago. It's now early November and clouds are more often seen than not, so I revel in this little sunshine that will surely not last that long. Clouds will cover the sun soon enough and going outside our little bubble already makes me shiver.

The room is warm though and the windows are already a little foggy, but I don't care about that at the moment, All I can think about is about how she feels against me and kissing her lips again.

We should never stop.

My hands settle on her hips, bringing her closer. She moans at the combination of feeling me hard underneath her and the calluses of my fingers on her skin. I love it when she shivers from those. She says she likes to feel the contrast of them on her. She all but threatened my life when I offered not to touch her that much if I was too rough.

I wouldn't have stopped anyway.

Her chest is pressed to mine and her arms wrap around my neck. I take the opportunity to kiss her neck and whisper words that I know drive her crazy. I've learned so much about her and what makes her respond this past month. I'm always learning though, and she always surprises me with what she discovers about me. Half the time I didn't know myself.

Like that little nibble she does to the shell of my ear while she hums. Damn vibrations drive me crazy.

My hands move higher and higher until they hold her breasts; her hands move lower and lower until they scrape my abs. It's a mixture of pain and pleasure and I touch the soft skin of her breasts in the same rhythm that her hands are moving over me.

Her skin is heated and she starts rocking on my lap, creating friction that makes me wonder why am I not taking her right now.

My hands start moving from her chest, to her ribs to her back as my mouth kisses across her chest. I lick and give her little bites that make her giggle, squirm or moan. I can't decide which one of those three I like the most.

Who am I kidding? I like them all.

Her right hand moves to my shoulder as she slowly starts lifting herself up and brings her other one down to grab me. Before I know it, those little moans from before are short gasps as she lowers herself once again, taking me inside.

"Edward." She breathes and pleads at the same time.

I have to stop from kissing her and bury my face in her neck. Every single time I'm inside her, it's like flames spread all over my skin. Hell, every touch she gives me, feels the same.

We don't move for a few seconds, I just breathe her in and relish the feeling of being inside her, until it becomes too much and soon we're setting our own pace and the world outside this bed disappears.

I love this position; like this, I can see her expressions and feel her so deep and have her skin close to mine. The heat is everywhere: on my shoulders where her hands are resting, on my palms as they slide on her sweaty skin, in the friction of her breasts against my chest.

Only pants and skin on skin can be heard as my hands on her backside push her closer against me; as her legs lift her right before she sinks down again and again. It doesn't take long until we're both letting go and I feel the tensing of my muscles, the shake of her body and our names fall loud from each other's lips, mingling with other meaningless words into the air.

I wrap my arms around her and lean back on the bed, bringing her with me. We're sweaty and tired and nothing can erase the smile off our faces.

I kiss her neck and taste her salty skin, feeling her fast heartbeat against my lips. Her breath is hot above my heart and we both try to catch our breaths, but are unwilling to separate.

"I love you." I kiss her neck. "_Je t'aime._" Her jaw. "_Te amo_." Her cheeks. "_Ich liebe dich._" Her lips.

"You're so cheesy," she says pressed to my lips doing that curious little moan-giggle that I find so damn sexy.

"Meh." I shrug.

I continue to give her light kisses and I decide that now is time to use my tongue when I find a spot especially enticing that causes her to make some unexpected noise. A giggle? A moan? I have no idea. In between, I continue to whisper words both in English and in French, doing a weird little mix.

Two hours later, and after round two of this morning, I'm resting my cheek on her stomach as she runs her hand through my hair. I know we need to shower and eat and actually move from this spot, but every time she tries to move, I stop her.

"We're gonna have to leave this bed sometime, Edward. It's almost time for lunch and I don't think I'll be able to stand up at this rate."

I look up and wiggle my eyebrows.

"I meant because of lack of food, not our activities." She laughs, but I know it's also because of what we've been doing.

Her head moves to the side and she closes her eyes as a faint ray of sunshine comes through the windows. I was right, clouds have been covering the sky for the past hour or so, not that we've been taking much notice. So Bella enjoys what little bit we get and smiles as gold and red streaks shine in her hair.

Now I'm the one looking up at her, resting on her stomach. I notice a few more freckles on her chin that I didn't before and now I have to start all over again to count those marks on her body. The number keeps changing since a few are only visible under the sun. Bella doesn't mind when I have to start again, I think she likes my tongue doing all the work.

I move up until I'm hovering above her. Her face turns to me and she opens her eyes.

I see other little freckles on her nose and a few closer to her eyes. She looks so young with those there: no worries or scars brought from her past. Anyone who doesn't know her would see only a smiling young girl, and not the strong woman I've grown to love. And just to prove that, the lines on her face paint a different story. Unlike me before, she doesn't have a deep crease on her forehead. Her most noticeable lines are on the sides of her face: her eyes and mouth. She smiles and laughs and jokes all the time, always trying to move forward and not clinging on what can't be changed.

"You're right, crinkles around the eyes are much better." And there they are again when she smiles back.

I lower to kiss her, but before I get to her lips, she places her hands on my chest and pushes me back.

"No, no, no, _Monsieur_ Cullen. You're not starting round three, I'm hungry."

She gets up from bed and I have no idea if she's still talking. All I see is her naked body moving to retreive her robe: the curve of her waist, the dip at her bottom, the arch of her back.

I'm a lucky guy.

"What do you-" She takes the robe and turns before putting it on.

"What?" With big restraint, I take my eyes away from her body to look up to her smirking face.

"Never mind."

After a second of hesitation, she lets the robe fall from her shoulders to the floor and moves to the bedroom door.

"What are you doing, Bella?" I croak.

"It's a little hot inside the house. I don't think I need the robe anymore." She's resting her hip against the threshold with her arms above her head as she pulls her hair back.

"Um..." I can't stop staring at her chest and stomach and legs and-

"Good. What do you think about home made pizza?" And with a nod, she turns and walks out the door.

I move on the bed, following her with my eyes until there is no more Bella to watch and no more bed to move around and all I feel is the hard floor against the side of my shoulder.

The little minx laughs all the way down to the kitchen.

O~o~O~LB~O~o~O

"_Bonjour_, _Madam_ Moreau." I greet our neighbor who's just walking towards her house.

"Edward?" She has to do a double take before returning my smile and coming to where I'm standing, by the front fence of the house.

"One and the same."

It's so nice to see her after so long. She always had the best cookies and would spoil us rotten whenever we came here with my parents.

Before she says anything more, she's right in front of me, hugging the hell out my waist. She's tiny.

"It's been so long, _too_ long." I hear against my sweater and put my arms around her.

I smile; her English has gotten much better over the years.

I remember her trading some of her treats for lessons when Rose and I were teenagers. It seemed she had been corresponding to a 'gentleman caller', as she called him, in England at the time and wanted to say what she could in his native language. We knew she was a widow at the time and it was weird to think of her as 'dating', or whatever that thing was.

Rose and I would often tease her about it and sometimes tried to trick her with a few words, but she saw right through us. After a few times, she got a dictionary and threatened to cut off our cookie supply.

That put a stop to the teasing.

It was fun to see her all angry, but not really, not with us.

I helped her with translation and Rose helped her with more romantic words. I never knew what to say anyway.

"Yes, it has." We separate and now she's appraising me. Checking me out in detail from head to toe.

"You're too skinny." Now she's squeezing my arms and shaking her head in disapproval.

"Join the club. Mom said the same thing a while ago."

"Well, she's right, that mother of yours." She looks a little angry and her French accent is stronger when she's like this. I smile and picture her just cursing in French, forgetting all English words.

"Okay then. And I see your English is much better, _Madam_ Moreau. Had any more opportunities to practice?" I tease her, but I know the answer. When she squeezed the hell out of my arms, I felt a wedding band on her finger.

"Yes, you could say that." Is she blushing? "It helps that now I get to live with Robert and don't just exchange mail anymore."

"Oh, so it's not _Madam_ Moreau anymore?"

"No, no. It's _Madam_ Wilkinson now." She shakes her head. "I know, it sounds weird, but I refuse to use Mrs. Wilkinson. I'm French, for crying out loud, I'm a _Madam_."

I'm about to talk again when I hear my name being called from the house. Bella must've woken up and now she's looking for me.

We sadly had to put on some clothes earlier to cook. Hot things close to naked bodies is simply not the best. While the pizza was in the oven, we went to take a shower; a shower that lasted longer than anticipated and we almost burned our lunch.

After eating, we started talking on the couch and making plans for the rest of the day, until Bella fell asleep. We really barely slept last night. I couldn't take a nap though; I had too much energy to fall asleep next to her.

So, I went to get my sketchbook and while I was drawing, I spotted my neighbor walking to her house.

"Oh, I see you're not here alone."

"Yeah, that's Bella, my girlfriend."

"Well, then what are you doing here with me? Go along now, but you must come to dinner tonight. I'd like to meet this girl that's making you smile this big."

I laugh. I'm pretty sure she hasn't forgotten my teasing from years before. I'll never hear the end of it tonight.

"Okay, it's a date then. Maybe we can meet Mr. Wilkinson as well? You know, since I wrote to him all those years and all."

"I'd argue with that, but you and your sister did see all those letters. And yes, you'll meet him too."

We say goodbye, and when I open the door to the house, I see Bella coming from upstairs.

"I went to look for you in the bedroom. I woke up on the couch and you weren't here." She looks cute with her hair on a loose ponytail, kind of wild from so much time sleeping on the couch; her arms are hugging her middle and a lazy smile.

"Yeah, sorry, I went to say hi to my neighbor. You had a nice nap?" I wrap my arms around her, kissing her temple.

She hums and nods.

"She invited us to have dinner with her tonight. What do you think?"

"Yeah, that would be great."

After a strong cup of coffee, we head outside to town. We are bundled in our coats and scarves as we make our way through the streets, hand in hand. I like this.

I tell Bella stories about where I used to play with Rose and other kids or where we hid when we broke one of the front windows while playing catch. I told Rose the ball was too high, but she didn't listen.

It was fun coming here every summer for a few weeks, to actually go outside after being indoors much of the year. I had scrapes on my knees, dirt in my hair and a tan that only lasted while we were here.

As we walk, we encounter a few people and when they recognize me, they are not shy to say hi and talk for a bit. It's a bit uncomfortable at times, but all that goes away when we share stories of years past.

Bella nods and laughs, hearing the stories and every couple of steps, she stops and kisses me. She says she's proud of me; I just shake my head at her. I don't think there is much to be proud about listening to neighbors's stories, but it gets her to kiss me, so I let it go.

We stop at this small antique shop and browse around. Much like that time at the market, I can't take my eyes away from anything here. It gives me ideas upon ideas for new designs, and it's almost too much to bear.

Something catches my eye and I think it would be perfect for Marie. When I see that there is another one much like it, I think perhaps I can get one for Aimée.

"What do you think about these?" I hold them up for Bella to see.

They are two headbands with what seems to be crystal and pearl details on one side. The band might need some adjusting, but the crystal and pearls look fine.

"Those are so pretty. For Marie, right?" I nod. "I bet she'll love them."

"I was thinking about getting these two and maybe give one to Aimée? You know, since they're both friends and all. It wouldn't be too weird, right?" Now that I think about it, maybe it _would_ be weird.

The week before the Gala, Rose took Marie to her first ballet lesson. It seemed that Marie was very much set on becoming a piano-player-ballerina and no one could change her mind.

Rose had mentioned this to Alice during one of their lunches, which I'm happy to find happens very often with Bella and sometimes Tanya as well. Alice all but squealed when she heard this. Apparently, Aimée had also started ballet lessons recently and they thought it would be the perfect opportunity for the two girls to meet.

From what I heard, on that first day they hit it off perfectly, working as partners whenever they got the chance and even when they were not supposed to. Aimée helped Marie with some of the steps she had learned a few weeks before and Marie helped Aimée with her timing.

So seeing these two headbands in my hands, I can't help but imagine them wearing them at one point, all pretty and dolled up. I also realize that they wouldn't wear them if all the rest of the girls didn't have them, but still, it's a nice image. I also know that as soon as Marie gets her hands on hers, she'll be wearing it to sleep and dancing all over the house.

She's already doing the latter.

"They'd both love them." I feel Bella's hand on top of mine. "And no, it's not weird at all. You're caring about your niece and her best friend. You're just that kind of guy."

Oh yes, apparently, now Marie and Aimée are best friends.

I run my thumb over the skin of Bella's hand and I can almost picture a tiny little brown eyed girl pestering me about how her brother hid her tutu.

I buy the headbands and already plan on costumes for the girls.

O~o~O~LB~O~o~O

We buy several things in town and that night I finally get to meet Mr. Wilkinson. He's nothing like the person I imagined from the letters all those years ago, but I have no idea what I was expecting.

_Madam_ Wilkinson swaps recipes with Bella and shares embarrassing stories about me, just like I thought. I don't think she forgave me for all those flowers I used to steal from her garden to give Mom.

Bella had been right; it was nice to go outside to see the town. So on Sunday, I make a plan to show her the towns near _Eygalières _and the countryside in general. We end up spending hours wandering the countryside, stopping whenever something caught our eye, to take pictures, buy something or enjoy the food at small places serving native dishes.

Safe to say, no one will tell me that I'm too skinny after this trip.

As I drive through the country side, holding her hand in mine, Bella looks out the window, gazing our surroundings as the car speeds: the hills and the trees and the small houses in the distance, and even a few animals walking lazily. We also pass a few meadows here and there and had it not been because it's getting darker and colder outside, I would've stopped at one of them. I wish I had brought her in springtime, where flowers would paint the green grass in bright colors.

"Did you know that Van Gogh lived in this area? He was inspired by the fields and trees and flowers all over the countryside." I tell her after a while.

She turns her head in my direction.

"Mom used to regale us with facts about painters who'd been in the area and stories about the towns we passed, all the way from Paris whenever we came here. It drove us crazy as kids." I chuckle remembering Mom talking and talking while Rose and I nodded.

"That sounds lovely," she says. "I used to love road trips with my parents. My Mom got so excited over them and my Dad would go along with whatever she wanted." She smiles and turns her head back to look outside.

I take her hand and kiss it, letting her enjoy the view and her memories.

In time for dinner, we get to _Arles_, by the _Rhône_. We eat at a small place and spend the rest of the time walking the maze of streets. One wrong turn and good luck finding us.

It's almost dusk and getting colder, but that only gives me the excuse to press myself closer to Bella. I never miss an opportunity.

"So, remember that I told you Van Gogh lived in this area?" She nods. "Well, he lived here in _Arles_. He rented a place in _Place Lamartine._" I motion with my arm to my right.

She looks at me sideways, quirking an eyebrow.

"I told you Mom talked our ears off all the way from Paris, but I also like to read." I shrug.

"But I want to show you something else." We keep walking towards the river. This actually works much better now that it's darker.

We keep walking and until we get to a waterside street, on the east side of the river. I search for a minute until I find the sign I'm looking for.

"Here." I bring her to my front, her body facing away from me, looking toward the river. Even though the sky has been covered in clouds most of the time we've been on this trip, tonight it looks clear enough to see some of the stars.

"This is supposed to be the exact same spot where Van Gogh painted 'Starry Night Over the Rhone'." We had been checking out an art book over at my parents' yesterday and when I saw this particular painting, I remembered this spot.

I guess a thank you to Mom might be in order after this trip.

"See the curve of the river and the effects of the lights over the water?" My mouth is close to her ear and I feel her shiver, without taking her eyes away from the view.

"Yes." I turn a little to watch her face. Her eyes are bright and the lights reflect in them.

"You know I'm a color freak, so I always liked the way he painted the night, it's hard to do. Even working with dark colors in designing is hard, you can lose some details in the dark background." I shrug. "I don't know, it always intrigues me when painters do this."

It's kind of nice to see an image of something that was also here over a hundred years ago, different of course, but still here. I wonder if my creations will pass the test of time.

Wrapping my arms around her, I rest my head on her shoulder and stay silent for a few minutes, just staring at the lights reflected in the water in front of us. I just let myself feel Bella in my arms.

Soon, even with heavier clothing, I start feeling the chilly air on my face and I see Bella shiver a little. I think we should leave soon.

At the same time, I love moments like this with her.

"Thank you, you're always surprising me with things like this."

"I'm just happy you indulge me in my weirdness and come along." I joke.

And indulge me she does.

We've been spending time all over Paris this past month. She took me buying buttons at a flea market I never heard of, and I almost lost it with the amount they had on display. I have no idea what to do with so many of them, but I ended up buying a ridiculous amount.

Bella often takes me to small unknown stores. She says it's because she needs to save money and can't afford that many expensive things to work with. I often go crazy buying things for me and for her.

I, in turn, have been taking her to different places in Paris. Places I discovered while wandering the city to draw or just to walk: small hidden parks, lonely spots by the _Seine_ or more touristy places like the top of _La Tour Eiffel_, where we took videos and pictures that are now adorning my apartment walls. More and more those walls are covered with memories and colors.

We seem to be following wherever the other leads, even when I take her this far from the city to show her where a painting was created.

"I guess I love you too much not to come along." And with a kiss to my cheek, she turns and leads me to our car.

That night, we take our time undressing each other, slowly and teasingly. I love seeing her without worries and if we had to move down here for her to relax, I would.

Once again, there is little sleep that night, and even less clothing, and when the morning comes, we spend it in bed with food on the bedspread, music playing softly and me taking pictures of her. She doesn't resist as much as before and now she's not so shy about them.

When I told her about the photos, she got up from bed and ran to the bathroom to get something on. She didn't want me to take naked pictures of her.

It didn't stop me from thinking about it and feeling more like a pervert.

In the end, the photos are of her in bed laughing, eating or resting by my side. A few are of us lying in bed, photos taken at an awkward angle, but it doesn't matter.

I rub her socked feet. I laughed when I saw her coming out of the bathroom wearing a white shirt and a pair of knee length wool socks with colored polka dots. That laughter died when I noticed the opening of her shirt, right above her breasts, and the fact that I could still see her body through the shirt. I think she said something right then, but I have no idea what.

It turns out, socks and my shirt are the only clothes she's wearing and I have no idea why is that so sexy. At some point I get the words 'alien baby' and I know I haven't been paying as much attention as I should've.

I amend that right away when I push her legs over my shoulders and pay her nothing but attention as I feel the burn of the wool on my back.

I had no idea I had a thing for wool socks.

There are also some words that I can't decipher coming out of her mouth and I just hum against her skin in agreement, loving that I have the same effect on her as she has on me.

I move up her body, bringing the shirt up and uncovering her, as I kiss every spot my lips find. I support myself on each side of her, teasing her with little touches I make as I lift the last of the shirt over her head. I might've grazed her breast on purpose. With this much sensory overload, she keeps mumbling more words I can't understand.

Ridding myself of the rest of my clothes, I continue to take my time with her and soon the room is filled with moans and pants and pleas that become louder than the music playing in the background. Our sounds and movements are desperate and simply not enough, never enough, reflecting what any other time with her means: Bella overrides everything around me, she becomes the only thing I think about.

Nothing else matters, no one else is this important.

And when I hold her after we both fall over the edge, trying to catch our breaths, I _know_ that I want to keep her forever.

* * *

><p><strong>And there ya go. A weekend getaway. :-) Not much happened here, just little things here and there, lol. I promise the next chapter is much more ploty-er.<strong>

**And yet again I kinda blocked ya with things. I only mention Marie and Aimée's meeting here, but I'll write a nice outtake for them so you'll see what the hell happened when they met. I figured Edward wouldn't show up at Marie's dance class, so I'll write something just for them.**

**You can find pics of the headband E bought as well as of 'Starry Night Over the Rhone' (the painting and how it looks today) here: **_s1083 (dot) photobucket (dot) com/albums/j400/choclover82/Little%20Buttons/_

**And that's it, pretty ladies. I'll see ya in two more weeks... I hope, I kinda ran out of pre-written chapters. Ahh! My OCD self (the one with the every Thursday posting) is not happy about this, but I do have half the next chapter already written. So that's something. Just know that I never drop what I start. ;-)**


	22. Preparations

**Greetings, ladies.**

**So, this chapter ended up being the longest chapter eveeeeer... for LB. However, there was a break around the middle that changed the 'feel' of it, so as per beta's suggestion and thinking about it, I cut it in half. You'll see why in the next one.**

**Again, many thanks to my beta Songster for her help and not freaking out too much when I send her monster chapters.**

**I don't own Twilight.**

**Now I'll shut up and let you read...**

O~o~O~LB~O~o~O

'**Preparations'**

"Edward," Rose says from the door leading to the backyard. She sounds tired, yet amused, and I know immediately what she's going to ask.

"Alright, I'm on it." I drop the cookies I was about to eat and curse Emmett for taking me away from them.

I head out into her backyard, walking directly into the little forest and find what I expected: Marie and Aimée giggling and pushing Emmett through the cabin's door. I chuckle when I hear him whine and tell them to stop pushing, since there is no way he will fit through the entrance.

Not that we didn't know this already, this being the third time he has gotten stuck. From their happy giggles, it looks like the girls convinced him to try one more time. Or perhaps he just indulged them.

From where I stand, all I can see are Emmett's legs and back, as he's stuck in the door because his shoulders are too wide.

"Come on, girls. Go get Edward, Bella is no help at all." He keeps on whining from the inside of the cabin.

Another giggle joins the girls' and when I turn to the sound, I find Bella at the side of the cabin, looking in through the open window… taking pictures.

"Stop it, Bella, and help me."

"Wait a second, just a few more pictures for our Christmas cards this year."

I approach Bella from behind; she's bent over the window sill, her pretty ass all I can focus on, and I place my hands on either side of her.

"What are you doing?" I ask and she startles, almost hitting her head.

"Hey, you." Turning, she gives me a kiss and stays close to my lips. "I told you to take your time when Emmett gets himself stuck again." She whispers.

Bella bet me after the second time this happened that Emmett would get stuck again. I told her that no way that was going to happen a third time.

Yeah.

She was also disappointed that she didn't get to take pictures those last two times. So, I'm letting her have her moment before helping Emmett.

"Indeed you did."

We settle in the window, barely fitting, and look inside at a glaring Emmett.

"So again, huh?"

"They are evil little girls, Edward. I can't say no to them and they have their ways for making me do things."

Both Bella and I laugh, not only because it's funny to picture a guy like Emmett being convinced by two four year olds to do things he doesn't want to, but also because what he says is true. I have no idea how many times Marie has talked me into wearing glitter and hats while we drink pretend tea.

Thank God there are no pictures of that.

"Ouch," Emmett yells. "Are they kicking me? Godda-aaad." He stops himself from finishing the word. Rose was not happy when he cursed in front of Marie last week.

"Goddad? That's a new one." I laugh and leave Bella taking more pictures.

I stand up and move to the entrance and see the girls with sticks, poking Emmett.

"What are you two doing?" I can't help but laugh.

"We wanna help, uncle," Marie tells me while she keeps poking Emmett. How is that helping, I have no idea.

"Okay, stop it with the sticks. I'll help Emmett. Stand back."

After some serious pulling that I was sure would make his pants fall off, I manage to get him out of there.

"Okay, thanks Edward." He turns to the girls. "Now, who started the poking?" He says in mock anger with his hands on his hips.

The girls run and squeal, dropping their sticks, while he tries to catch them, and Bella and I are left checking the photos she took.

"Oh, these will be years of entertainment. We could have some of these made into posters or key chains." Bella goes on and on with ideas, and I kiss her and nod when she asks me what I think.

We walk back into the yard where Rose is sitting with Alice as they watch Jasper and Emmett play with the girls. They're all a mess of grass and leaves, and the fact that they are wearing sweaters and heavy clothing doesn't help; everything gets tangled in their clothes… and in their hair and headbands. Oh yes, apparently, they both liked the headbands I brought them from our trip and every time they have a play-date they wear them. They like to match now.

Marie squeals and every time she does, Rose smiles brightly.

Rose finally introduced Marie to Emmett the week after the Gala. It was time, but that didn't make her any less nervous about it. It was only the three of them that afternoon, a way to give Marie space and not overwhelm her with more people around.

From what Rose told us afterwards, the meeting couldn't have been better. Even if Marie was a little hesitant at first, she ended up warming up to Emmett, and she charmed him with her stories and songs. But what ended up bonding them was something unexpected: _Monsieur _Bouffi.

Apparently, the moment Marie really took a look at Emmett, she saw him as a real live _Monsieur _Bouffi. I'm always making the bear little outfits, per Marie's request, and that afternoon, without even knowing, Emmett went to Rose's house wearing something similar to it: black pants, light blue shirt and a sweater vest. It wasn't the exact same outfit, _Monsieur _Bouffi had a green shirt, but it was enough to make Marie feel safe in his presence.

After that, everything went smoothly, and now Marie plays with him and asks for Emmett when he's not around.

"Okay, you guys, let's get inside. It's getting too cold." Alice yells into the yard and even Jasper and Emmett groan.

After we settle in the kitchen with hot chocolate and the cookies I've wanted to eat all afternoon, we catch up with what's been happening lately.

"When do you have your next meeting, Bella?" Emmett asks from the other side of the table, holding Marie on his lap.

"After I get back from Seattle. I had a meeting last week where I presented all my business plan and designs. They called me yesterday to tell me they want to see me again."

She had been so nervous that day, reviewing her portfolio over and over. I took some time from work the day of her meeting and waited for her until she was done. We walked to a café nearby and over pastries and hot chocolate, she told me all about it. I simply smiled at her happy face.

The bad news though, something she already knew, is that she has to quit her job with _Monsieur_ Grenier. She had been slowly taking less and less hours at the shop, trying to just focus on organizing things for what she really wanted: her own business. And now, with her dream closer and closer to becoming a reality, she knows she has to solely focus on that, whether these last few meetings work or not. This is a full time job.

So, she already talked to her boss, and she's working one last time the day we're set to travel to Seattle. _Monsieur_ Grenier was very happy for her and told her that he knew she couldn't stay with him forever. He always knew she'd leave at some point and she shouldn't feel guilty for leaving him alone, since he was probably going to close the shop anyway. Business had been bad, and it's time he retires.

Bella felt relief for _Monsieur_ Grenier and the fact that he would take more time for himself now, but also sadness to see the shop close. That had been the first place to give her a job after she came to Paris, besides Alice's bakery, and was the first step into going back to designing.

"Oh that's right. When are you leaving for Seattle?" Rose asks as she wipes Marie's chocolate covered face.

"Next Thursday. I can't believe the time is here already and that I get to see my Dad next week." I lean over and kiss her temple. She radiates happiness.

She has been this way all week, getting presents for her family, and also taking things from her apartment that she wants to show them: photo albums, a couple of sketchbooks, even a few souvenirs she got from our outings. How she is going to fit all of that into her bags is beyond me.

If I'm honest, I can barely believe the time is here, either.

After months of first meeting her and then falling in love with her, I finally get to meet the last people that mean so much to her. And not only that, but I'll get to be there when she sees them in person for the first time in four years. Since coming to Paris, only phone calls and Skype sessions have been exchanged, so I know that this visit means so much more to her than attending her father's wedding.

"That's great Bella, I know you miss him." Alice takes Bella's hand over the table and gives it a little squeeze.

Almost everyone at this table knows how hard it has been for Bella to be here alone without seeing her Dad and recovering from her time in New York. Sometimes, just a little squeeze of the hand from Alice, a nudge to the shoulder from Emmett or a quick one arm hug from Jasper is more than enough to make Bella smile and know that they're there.

I used to be a little jealous of that connection, just for a second, but it was stupid of me to feel that. They were there for her when she didn't even know me. Of course, there will always be a tie between the four of them that I will never completely be a part of, but at the same time, I'm making new ties with her. Our own relationship.

"I do. I'm just anxious and I want that day to be here already. I wonder what changes he'll see in me in person. It's just not the same through a webcam."

"Well, for starters, he'll see your new accessory: this one attached to your hand." Jasper interjects and points at me.

"He's all the rave this season," Bella teases and leans over to my lips. "And he's all mine."

I kiss her back, getting lost in her chocolate tasting mouth. I'd much rather do this than keep getting nervous about meeting her family. I'm glad to hear that someone other than Bella thinks that Mr. Swan might like me. Bella has said that plenty of times, and it's not like I don't believe her, but she's biased.

And now I feel like an idiot for telling her weeks before that my family would love her when she had also been feeling this nervous.

How the roles change.

"Stop that, okay? There are innocent eyes in here."

I reluctantly back away from her mouth at Rose's words.

"Man, I'd pay good money to see Charlie when he meets you. Can you record it in your cell phone, Bella?" Emmett sounds eager at the prospect of Bella actually recording that.

"Oh, I'm all for that." Alice jumps in.

"I wanna see too." Of course, now one of the little girls says.

"Nobody is going to see anything. Nothing will be recorded, okay?" I say in a firm voice, daring someone to say otherwise.

They all burst into laughter.

"Don't worry, honey. No one will see anything," Bella whispers in my ear, and after kissing my cheek, goes back to talking about the trip.

No one mentions a recording after that. I guess my menacing voice works… at least after they stop laughing.

O~o~O~LB~O~o~O

When we got home last night from our day with the guys, the doorman at my building handed me a box that was dropped off for me earlier in the day. I was kind of tired at the moment, so I really didn't pay any attention to who had sent it. I get packages like this all the time, after all.

It ended up being a big surprise when the following morning, and on my way to the kitchen, I read that it came from Marcus.

What could he possibly be sending me? He didn't say anything when I saw him at the Gala.

I go to the kitchen and after retrieving a pair of scissors, I settle on my couch. I almost feel in a daze with this box on my lap.

After staring at it for a few moments, deciding if perhaps it's best that I send it back, I make up my mind and, letting out a big sigh, I open it. The sound of tape ripping is loud in the room; it's the only one at the moment. Bella's asleep in my bed and I only got up because I got hungry.

Setting the box in my lap, I open it and the first thing I see, is a letter at the top with my name on it.

It's from Marcus.

_Edward,_

_I was happy to see you at the party a few weeks ago and most importantly, to see the big changes you've been making in order to move on. You look really happy. I hope seeing me there was not too hard on you._

_While I was packing things at my house, I found these few items that belonged to you and Renata. I thought it best that you decide what to do with them, since they are yours as well. If it's too hard or inconvenient for you, don't hesitate to send them back. I just wanted to give you the choice._

_Take care._

_Marcus._

He's happy for me. Maybe that's why he thought I could handle this package.

After Renata and I split, she went back to living with her parents. They kept everything she took from our apartment after we divorced. I honestly didn't care if she took everything in there.

Are those the things Marcus think have to do with me? If I didn't care for them back then, I have no idea why he thinks I would now.

I'm tempted to simply close the box and send it back, but at the same time… I'm curious. How could I not be? This is part of my past after all.

Setting the letter aside, I continue to open the box and peek inside.

Yes, no wonder Marcus thought I might be interested in this.

The first things I find are a couple of photo albums. I don't have to open them to know the pictures I'll find. We had been happy for a little while, even though it had been a lie on her part. I took her on trips and to parties and since I loved taking photos, I had hundreds of moments saved in my laptop and then in these albums.

I had been proud to show them off to my family and friends. They seemed genuine moments between the two of us.

I take the albums out of the box and place them next to me. I'm not sure what to do with them. Seeing them is painful, even though all I do now is move forward with my life and I know this is all behind me. They're a reminder of the life I wanted, and even when I know that what I have with Bella is much better, the real deal, it still makes me catch my breath to think of what I lost. Seeing it in these photographs might be too much at the moment.

I do wonder why Renata kept them though. She didn't want this life with me, so why would she want to reminisce about those years? Maybe I'm thinking too hard about this and it's just one of the things she never got around to throwing away back then.

I look into the box and find more mementos of our time together. Things we got from our travels or gifts I gave her at the time.

Then there are other things that I have no idea where they came from: a few pieces of jewelry, a few silk scarves, a couple of books. I don't recall getting them for her or ever seeing them on her or around the apartment.

I pick up one of the books, a book of poems, and notice that it looks old and worn. She must've read it a lot, from the looks of its tattered edges and faded cover.

When I open the cover, a simple folded paper falls to my lap. The book falls from my hand to the floor. The word outside of the folded paper shocks me.

_Love_.

I know it's Renata's handwriting. I'd recognize it anywhere, even after two years, but it's different at the same time: more frantic, sloppier.

The things in this box could very well be the last ones she touched or read or wore in those final days, and this letter could have the last words she put on paper before ending her life. The thoughts that were going through her mind, what made her decide to make that decision. Could she have been asking for some kind of help in this letter?

Do I want to read it?

Her parents never delivered a goodbye letter to me, I'm not sure they would've at the time, and as far as I know, she didn't leave any. Maybe this was it, hidden in the book as if it was meant to be found by the receiver alone.

Who would know to look for something in this book?

Love.

Could this be addressed to me? I cut all ties to her, not wanting anything to do with her anymore. She did want to reach out to me, but I never gave her the chance. Could this letter be that last attempt to tell me her story? I can't deny that I'm curious to read her words, but will I find answers or will this make it worse?

_Love_. It sounds so unlike her to write that word. She never called me love or anything like that. Maybe she had been more out of it at the end of her life than I thought if she addressed me like that.

I suddenly feel so tired. There are just too many questions and all thrown at me at the same time. I'm just not ready at this moment to deal with this. I have Bella, things are going great; I don't want to live in the past anymore. I want to leave all these things behind me.

I'm startled by noises coming from the bedroom and I know Bella's waking up, so I pick up the book, place the letter back inside and then put everything back in the box. I'll decide what to do with these things at another time.

"Hey, good morning. How long have you been up?" She finds me sitting at the couch just as I close the box.

"Not long, I just got hungry." I take her hand and pull her to my lap, kissing her neck. This, this is where I want to be.

"Okay, let's have some breakfast then." She gets up and now she's the one pulling me, towards the kitchen.

As we enter, I look back and see the box next to the couch. Bella didn't ask me about it; there was no reason she would. I get packages all the time.

I know I'll have to tell her about it; this is too significant not to. I just need a little more time to get my thoughts in order.

I'll tell her soon.

O~o~O~LB~O~o~O

The weekend goes by fast. Between getting ready to travel the next Thursday and nights spent in bed with Bella, I'm a mess when I go to work the following week.

Thursday, the day we're traveling, is the last day I'll be working at my studio before leaving Paris for two weeks. I wanted to leave work the day before, but there's just too much to deal with at the studio.

We'll be back to Paris in time for Christmas and that thought makes me impatient as to what she'll think of my present for her. I think she'll like it, but I just know that she'll think it's too much.

She always fights me on that.

Bella's last day at the shop is also Thursday and as happy and excited as she is, about starting this new stage in her life, I often catch her looking sad or smiling when she sews a button or changes a zipper. She'll miss the shop; hell, I'll miss it. I always tell her it's where she wooed me with her skills. She laughs at that and then doesn't look so sad anymore.

So, I only have a few days to finish last details and leave things ready for my team to take over. Kate had been happy when I told her all the things she'd be dealing with, but also scared to death. I tried to calm her and remind her that she'd been doing this job with me for a while now. She knows what to do; she just needs the confidence.

Tanya also will be dealing with a few things, but I never worry about her. She usually needs some input from me, but the rest she can handle by herself.

I'm so glad when, on Tuesday night, I find my bed and Bella in it. All I want is to curl up at her side and stay like that. Screw the flight; screw my studio.

Not only have I had to deal with things at work, but also with my family. Rose and Marie had been calling me all day with things they want me to get for them while in Seattle. It's mostly candy for Marie, but still. It's not like a have a bottomless suitcase. I'm sure I'm going to be stopped at the airport.

Mom and Dad also want me to get them a few things and even Alice asked for a few things from Bella. At this rate, I think I'll leave my clothes here and take the damn bag empty.

"Busy day?" I feel her hands running through my hair when I lay next to her.

"The worst. It's at times like this that I realize just how much I didn't delegate before. Things would be much easier."

"If it's too much, maybe you could stay here and-"

"No, absolutely no, Bella." I lift my head and stare at her. "I want to go with you and we're taking this time away from Paris. I need to do this. Things have been great at work, and I have to learn how to simply work for a living and not live to work as I've been doing so far. I love what I do, but I love you more and that's what I choose."

She stares at me, a little surprised.

"Wow, okay. I was just saying." She pushes me on my back and ends up straddling me. "I love passionate Edward." All the tiredness I felt when I got here flies out the window. I'll sleep in Seattle.

"Good, because I'm passionate about a lot of things." I kiss her neck. "My cereal in the morning, stop eating it, woman." I kiss her jaw as she chuckles. "My no-clothes-in-bed policy, why are you not naked?" And I kiss her mouth.

A little later she knows just how passionate I really am.

* * *

><p><strong>The last preparations before the trip to Seattle. I swear every time I travel, people ask me to take or bring stuff (not illegal or anything, I check, lol).<strong>

**And as you can see, the past is not completely behind, showing up every once in awhile.**

**Also, I kinda blocked you, once again, with something else: the meeting of Marie and Emmett. I figured it wasn't a meeting Edward would be witnessing, just leaving Rose, Emmett and Marie on their own. I will write an outtake for it and you'll see more of what happened.**

**And that's it for this week. As I said before, the chapter was cut, so Ch23 is already done. ****Because of that, I'll post it next week. ;-)**


	23. Twists

**Hello, ladies.**

**And here we go again, you didn't have to wait so much this time. I'm also posting a little early since I won't be able to do so tomorrow.  
><strong>

**Thanks to my pretty beta Songster for her help with everything I send her way, ridiculousness and all. Oy.  
><strong>

**I don't own Twilight.**

**Now let's see what's up this week...**

O~o~O~LB~O~o~O

'**Twists'**

"_Monsieur_ Cullen," Irina follows me as soon as I get to my studio on Thursday morning. "_Mademoiselle_ Martin requested a meeting with you as soon as you're available."

"Tanya? Did she say what she wanted?" Tanya never makes an appointment, she just shows up and tells me what she wants.

"No, but she said it was urgent."

It's a little past 9:00 am, and I'm already dreading the day if Tanya really needs to speak to me this bad. And here I thought that my last day at work, before flying out tonight, might've been a little easier.

"Okay, do I have time now on my schedule?"

"Yes, sir, your first meeting is at 10:00 am."

"Tell her to come now then, Irina. Thank you."

Five minutes later, a worried Tanya enters my office and locks the door behind her.

"What are you doing? You know I have a girlfriend; you had your chance Tanya." I joke, trying to make her laugh.

"I need to talk to you and I don't want anyone to listen." She doesn't laugh; she looks really serious.

"Okay, talk then." I lean forward and now my worry is off the charts.

"Edward, you know I have my connections here and there. We've even used some of them here." I nod. I know and appreciate this, but I have no idea where she's going with this.

"Well, I've heard from some people that James has found new inspiration for his designs lately. I honestly couldn't care a rat's ass about it, except that from what I've heard they are magnificent and it will give his company a whole new spin."

"Okay." As much as I hate the guy, he does have some talent and as designers we're always changing and trying new things. It's normal that he changes things.

Now, _magnificent_ designs? That's something I'll have to see with my own eyes.

"So, I asked around for a little more information and even found someone who works for him. After some cocktails, well, she was very open to talking about her boss."

"I'm not sure what you're saying, Tanya. And why did you have to lock the door to tell me this?" I'm getting frustrated and already thinking of what I have to do before the morning is over.

"Edward, I hate to be the one to tell you this, but it seems James has been stealing designs from you. Whether they are full pages of them or concept ideas, I don't know."

Her words make no sense. I can't be hearing the same words I did two years ago, I just can't.

"What?"

"I'm sorry." And she does look sorry.

"How did-? What the-? That's impossible, Tanya. Your sources must be wrong about it, there's no way he has someone stealing things from me. I've taken every precaution, _every_ precaution." I run security measures in my head over and over. There is no way this is happening again.

I begin to shake my head. I can't believe this.

"I thought that as well but, Edward, this girl said that she overheard James gloating that he has someone on the inside."

I look up. One of my own people is stealing from me?

"Who?" I'm seething now.

There's just no way that someone who's been working for me had the nerve to betray me like this.

"She didn't know; all of this was discovered because she had been eavesdropping. She really couldn't tell. Edward, what are we going to do if this is true?"

That is the million-dollar question. What do we do?

"Can we trust this source? She works there, but maybe she heard incorrectly. The fact that he's bringing new people instead of promoting hiw own could've made her twist his words. You know how gossips are." I'm trying to graps to anything that might tell me this is not true. I refuse to believe it.

"I think so. She was pretty pissed off at James actually. Apparently, he'll give this informant a position in his company, completely overlooking his designers. What an idiotic move."

Pissed off people can be pretty dangerous.

"So this _person_ is going to work for him? They steal from me and then have the nerve to work for him?" Did they think I wouldn't hear about this?

I have to think.

"HR." I say after a minute. "We can track who's leaving us soon, maybe he or she thought they could leave us quietly, probably quitting within the last couple of weeks."

"Yeah, that could be true. I'll talk to HR right away. And I'll try to get more information from other sources as well. Find out if this is real and how deep this goes." She gets up and starts typing on her phone.

When Tanya gets to the door, she turns to me.

"I'm so sorry about this, Edward. I wish this wasn't true, but we'll find who did this. You're not alone in this; we will get to the bottom of it." She sounds angry and I almost smile at how fierce my friend sounds, but she looks so sad at the same time and I just can't take it. She's never like this and it reminds me of the pity looks I got the first time this happened.

I nod and she leaves.

I can't believe this is happening to me again. Am I that stupid and gullible that people, close people, feel they can do whatever they want with my life? Am I that fucking blind to it all?

Perhaps I am, perhaps I've been a complete fool letting people in when in reality everyone is an asshole who tries to take things from you. I should've kept to myself and not bothered to talk to my designers, to encourage them and try to be friends with them.

It makes me feel sick to think that one of the same people that I had coffee with in the last weeks or that I helped with their drawings, is the one that stole from me. I try to recall their faces and names, try to search for _something_ that could've given them away.

Nothing, I find nothing. This person played us all.

I get up from my desk and go to my safe. I want to see if there is something missing there.

Everything looks good after I check all the sketches again and again, spread on my desk. It seems no one took anything from here, but that doesn't say much. They could've copied them somehow and then returned the originals back to the safe. But how did this happen? How could they have accessed my safe this easily? Or if they took original drawings, where did they get them if not from my safe?

"Irina, cancel all my meetings for this morning; there is something else I need to tend to. After that, come into my office." I bark. I'm in no mood to be polite today.

I try to recount where else have I been with my sketches, but nothing comes to mind. I only have the ones here and at my apartment and I never take those out. Too much risk.

I laugh at that. This only proves that nothing works when people are dead set on screwing with you. They'll always find a way.

After informing Irina about what's going on and asking her to keep quiet about it, I spend the rest of the morning trying to figure how this could have happened. I check with my security team and have them send me the surveillance tapes for my office. I'll spend however long I have to checking them.

I can't focus on anything else as it is.

All I want is to call everyone in here and demand that they tell me what they know, and I was about to do so, but it would be useless. If this person has been lying to me for God knows how long, there is no way he or she is confessing now, even if I demand it.

I slam my fist to my desk.

"Fuck."

The worst part is that, to a certain point, it doesn't really matter if I discover who did it. I could fire them, I could even ruin their career in the business, but it still wouldn't stop James from having gotten away with it.

Since I don't know how long this has been happening, and from what Tanya said earlier, James' line must be almost ready to go out, so there is nothing I can do to stop that.

I hate this feeling of helplessness, of not being in control of anything.

After I get the recordings and seeing how many of them are, I tell Irina to cancel everything on my calendar and to only let Tanya into my office if necessary.

I forward and rewind for hours, trying to find some detail that I might've missed the first time around, to find something suspicious that catches my eye.

I find nothing. People come and go into my office and most of the time I'm there as well with them. That makes me even angrier, if this person stole right in front of my eyes, I have no idea what I'll do.

I see Paul and Jane enter the office leaving sketches on my desk or taking ones that I've left for them, nothing out of the ordinary.

That is until I notice something strange in Jane's arms during one of those times.

I rewind and focus again. I remember that day, from the date at the corner of the screen. She was supposed to take back a couple of sketches that she wanted me to review, a few weeks ago. I had left them right on my desk for her and told Irina to let her in.

That was not what caught my eyes though, it is the fact that she left with a much thicker folder than she should've. It's barely noticeable, but it's there if you pay attention. There are not just a couple of sketches in her arms.

I fast forward and see her returning a couple of hours later, the same thick folder in her arms and then leave with just a couple of pages. I remember she only left a couple of sketches for another revision that day.

It's clear that Jane had taken much more from my office than a couple of drawings that day.

I see red. She was the one who did this? How dare she? I've helped her in here; I gave her a lot of responsibilities for her to grow and become more knowledgeable, and she goes and does _this_?

I take a few breaths and try to calm down, but it's hard not to just let go and simply repeat what happened with Renata. I should ruin Jane, and I could, but something stops me from doing so. When I close my eyes, I know what that is, who it is.

Bella. She'd be disappointed if I go back to that behavior.

"Edward?" I lift my eyes from my computer to see Tanya standing in front of me. I hadn't even noticed she was there.

She looks pissed, holding a few papers in her hands.

"Jane." I tell her, gritting my teeth. I can barely say her name without wanting to yell.

"How did you-?"

"Surveillance tapes."

She nods.

"Well, according to HR, she presented her resignation on Monday. How convenient, just after the time she took off after the Gala. It seems she used that time to start settling into her new job."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, after I knew it was her, I started calling people. And it turns out she had been seen at James' office frequently last week. There is no doubt she was the one who stole something. How much and which ones, only you can know that."

"Fuck, fuck, fuck." I stand up and pace the floor. How long has this been going on? Not long I think, or Jane would've quit long before now.

"Edward. What do you want to do now? Call the police? The tapes show she stole from you, right?"

I could, I should do that, but then what? Jane was the coward who stole this and then quietly leaves us.

No, I want to face her. I want her to tell me why.

"Call HR and tell them to call her, and tell her that they need her to sign some papers or something. I don't care. I want to see her; I want her to tell me to my face why did she do this."

Right now, only Tanya, Irina, and I know what's going on. Security only knows that I wanted the recordings and HR only knows to call Jane. We could use the fact that Jane doesn't suspect we know to our advantage.

"Okay, do you want me to be here as well?" I know she wants to confront Jane, but I also see her concern. She's worried about me; _I'm_ worried about what I'll do.

"Yeah, I think that would be for the best."

I try to get my emotions in check while Tanya makes the call. I have to at least _look_ like I'm in control here.

An hour later, a hesitant Jane walks into my office. It surprises me a little; Jane is usually very composed and in control of things and to see her almost shake, that's something I never thought I'd see. She must sense what's going on.

"Edward, Tanya."

"Jane, sit down, please." I'm sitting on my desk, Tanya by my side as Jane faces us.

"What is it you wanted to talk about? I was called to sign some papers, but they brought me here instead."

I'm so fucking pissed at her questions, like really nothing out of the ordinary is happening, that I feel my hands shaking. Tanya notices this and addresses Jane.

"We heard that you quit Jane. We wanted to know why and why you didn't talk to Edward, your boss, about this? Why are you practically running?"

"Well, I got a better offer. I was going to talk to Edward about it, but he hasn't been in the studio that much." She's looking right at me when she speaks, and she looks just like the Jane I know, all nervousness gone. She's almost defying me. I don't like her tone; I don't have to explain myself to her.

"Well, _Jane_, it's none of your business what I do with my time. I'm the boss and I have other things to tend to. You could've made an appointment, Irina is outside all day after all, even when I'm not here. And while we're on that subject, I would just like to know what exactly have _you_ been doing with your time lately?" It's so hard to not start yelling.

Her eyes widen a little, she's never seen me like this, and for a second I think she's scared, but a moment later she's back to looking unaffected.

"What do you mean, Edward? I've been here, working."

"Really? Because from what it looks on the surveillance tapes from this floor, you seem to be making a lot of trips to my office as well."

"Surveillance cameras? What are you talking about? Are you spying on me?" She sounds appalled at this, and I would almost believe her, if it weren't for the nature of this conversation.

"Apparently not enough. Just cut the act, Jane. We know why you're leaving Not only do we have recordings of you taking more than you should've from my office, but also you've been careless with your activities around town."

I know she could deny what we saw on the video; you can't really tell exactly what she took, but she doesn't know how much we have on her. I'm hoping she cracks before asking to see the recordings.

"People have seen you at James Cross' studio, and now he suddenly has new _inspiration_?" I get up from my desk and slowly walk to her.

"What are-?"

"How long have you been working for him? How long have you been stabbing me in the back, Jane?" I yell. I can't stop the volume of my voice; finally, my anger is taking over.

"Edward." I feel Tanya's hand on my arm.

"No, Tanya." I shrug off her hand. "Enough is enough. She needs to tell the truth."

Jane looks between us, probably silently pleading with Tanya to calm me down. That won't work and the moment she realizes that, anger crosses her face.

"I will not stay here and hear you two-"

"Enough of this lying, Jane." Tanya interrupts her. "Just tell us the truth, Edward already told you that we have proof of your stealing. There's no point in keeping this up." She sounds much calmer than me and for that, I'm grateful.

Jane stares back at us for a few moments, probably running through her head other strategies to use on us. If she truly is working for James, he must've known this would happen at some point and probably helped her in come up with excuses.

When Jane sees that we won't back down on this, she finally looks defeated.

"Okay. He's been asking me to help him for over a year, but I never did it. I couldn't do that to you. You've helped me so much and I know I'll never have a better boss than you, Edward." She sits there, looking small.

I shake my head. What a load of crap and a great way to thank me.

"Then you changed, for the better, but you changed." She sounds sad about it. Did she want to see me miserable?

"What's that got to do with you screwing me?"

"Because you're gone all the time now." She looks at me and now the anger stays there. "_I'm_ the one who helped you when your wife died. _I_ made sure that things stayed in order when it came to the Fall-Winter collection, and everything else you needed in this studio. _I_ did all that, Edward. And what was the thanks I got? You spend more time with your _girlfriend_, letting her help you with your designs, and then you promote _Kate_?"

She looks almost crazy now and I'm taken aback about what she says.

"Leave Bella out of this."

My cold tone makes her sink into her seat. I will not let anyone talk about Bella like this.

"I've been there for everything and helped you, but you just never saw it. That's when I decided that if you didn't need me, I didn't need you either. I'll have a better career with James, and he does appreciate me."

I almost want to snort, but I think that would make things worse and send her into even more craziness. James doesn't appreciate her; he twisted her insecurities to his advantage and played her into helping him. I can't believe she fell for it and doesn't see that he'll discard her as soon as he can. What _is_ it about James?

This is the exact thing he did to Renata, and both times I was the final target.

"What exactly did you do?" I ask her calmly, too calmly. I want to know how this happened. No use in pointing out her stupid way of thinking right now.

Jane squirms, and I fight the urge to yell again.

"It was just luck, really. I came to leave some sketches for you when I saw an open magazine in your desk. I didn't think any of it until I approached it and noticed that it had some of your designs on different pages."

The magazine I brought from my home a few weeks ago. How could I have been so careless?

"I knew you're very picky, when it comes to security, so I knew it would be useless to try to copy them and even less wise to take them home with me. So, I took the magazine, hidden in my folder, back to my studio downstairs and made a video of it. Then I got the magazine back to your office."

Jesus Christ.

It was my damn fault I left the designs out like that, but I was often so caught up in other things, especially Bella, that I seemed to have forgotten how to take care of my sketches.

"Was it you who stole other designs as well?" I ask her. I had brought the magazine in the first place because we couldn't find a few here at the studio.

"Yes, I tried to get them back, but I never had the time."

I sigh. I'm so tired of this. Not just today but having to deal with these kinds of situations altogether. It's too much and not fair.

"What were you expecting to happen, Jane? That you'd go to James, and then he would take me down and that would be it?"

"I don't know, Edward. I just wanted you to notice me at first and then, I just-"

"What? You decided to fuck with my life? You know what happened to me; you knew how much it affected me. Everyone who knows me saw how much it affected me. I trusted you, and you simply didn't care about it." My anger is back. I grab something from my desk and throw it into a wall.

"You acted like a little girl who didn't have attention and screwed with people's lives. You seriously did all of this because you wanted me to notice you? Guess what, I always have, you're a great designer, and I trusted you to handle things. Your work will get you noticed, not these antics."

This is too fucked up.

"I'm sorry."

"Being sorry doesn't fix things. Just leave, Jane, leave this office and this building and never come back. I can't even look at you."

"What's gonna happen to me?"

"I don't know and honestly, it's not my concern. I have to think about how to deal with this and how to fix your screw up. Leave, just leave."

"Edward, please."

"Leave!"

Again she looks at Tanya and with shaky legs and glassy eyes, she leaves my office.

I'm so fucking torn about this. I liked Jane, she was tough and everyone thought she was a bitch, but she got the job done and she was good. Now to see her so weak and not _Jane_ it's too much to handle. Who else is pretending around me?

"Edward?"

"I can't Tanya; I just can't deal with this. I'm supposed to leave for Seattle tonight and be away two weeks from all of this. How am I going to be able to do that now?"

I don't want to stay, but I can't leave either.

"I have to go; I need to get out of here." I need something real, something that won't disappoint me.

Bella.

"Edward, what do we do now?"

"I don't know, Tanya. I just need to leave. I'll call you." And without waiting for her answer, I leave.

It's the middle of the afternoon now, I've been dealing with this all day and I'm totally sick and tired of it. All that drives me at the moment is getting to Bella, to touch her, to know that she's not like the rest.

The air is chilly, too cold without my coat, but I don't care about it. I just need Bella.

I walk and walk to Bella's shop. I know this is her last day there before going back to her place, so we can have Alice and Jasper drive us to the airport.

I don't feel anything but urgency as I walk down the streets. People pass me, they bump into me, or maybe I bump into them. I don't care about the curses they throw my way or the angry looks they give me. I just walk.

Soon, I recognize her street. I have no idea how I get there or how long it took me. The important thing is that I'm now rounding the corner to the small square and to Bella's shop.

I stop when I turn the corner; I don't know what to think or feel about what I find there. On instinct, I retreat back and hide from view.

James is talking to Bella outside of the shop.

She moves her head and hands and her face looks tense, her lips tight. Why is he here? Why is she talking to him? I thought she didn't like him.

Then he leans forward and taking her hand, he kisses it. Bella lets him.

What is going on here? What are they doing?

Images of Renata at the front of that hotel the night I found out about her and James flash before me. How familiar he was with her, how he touched her and whispered words into her ear.

This can't be happening again.

Without thinking, I turn back and almost run to my apartment. I came here to look for Bella, to the person I knew would never betray me, and I only found my past repeating itself.

All the way to my apartment, all I can hear is my hard breathing and feel my ears pulsing. With each step, it gets harder to breathe, and I don't know if it's because I'm practically running, or because the sight of Bella and James knocks the air out of me. I only feel like I can breathe when the door to my apartment slams behind me.

This day can't be happening, it simply can't. It started out normal, with me and Bella in bed, having a quick breakfast before we head to our jobs for the last time before our trip. And then I get a fucking bomb thrown my way.

Jane stealing, James' involvement and now Bella's talking to him?

My phone rings in my pocket and I see that it's Rose. I don't want to talk to her; Tanya must've called her, worried about me. I turn it off.

I feel so embarrassed that this is happening again, so foolish that I put myself in this position again.

I sit on my couch while I try to clear my head. All I can think about are Jane's words and Renata's as well. How could they have believed James? I guess he's more manipulative than I thought. He seduced Renata and made Jane believe that he would be best for her.

I try to recall my interactions with Jane. She always acted the same way with me as she did with other people. Maybe I wasn't looking hard enough. She was professional and good at what she did, but nothing more. I just find it hard to believe that she'd do this to me because I didn't notice her and what? Thank her in front of everyone? That is a stupid reason to begin with, but James must've been very convincing, twisting things in his favor, that she thought this was the right path for her.

I truly believe that she's a good person deep down. Even when she asked me for that time off after the Gala, she looked unsure as she left my office, sad even. Could she have been trying to say goodbye and maybe regretting her actions? Had I been more observant, I might have noticed.

I have no one but myself to blame.

I hear the door to my apartment open. I know it's Bella; she has the key. I don't lift my stare from the floor in front of me.

"Hey, is everything alright? Tanya called and asked me about you. She sounded worried, but wouldn't tell me what happened. I tried calling you, but you never answered."

"I turned off my phone."

"Oh, okay. What's wrong Edward? Why are you sitting here instead of being at work? Something happened there?"

I laugh.

"Yeah, something happened. I'm an idiot, that's what happened. I'm a goddamned idiot who apparently has a sign on his forehead that says 'fuck with me'." I get up and start pacing; I can't sit still for this.

"What are you talking about, Edward? Please talk to me."

"It happened again, Bella. Someone I trusted stole designs from my studio and gave them to James and now once again he wins." I kick the coffee table. I'm so pissed and then I hear a gasp.

"What? What do you mean someone stole your designs? I thought you had tight security."

"Well, that's what I thought as well, and that just goes to show you that nothing is foolproof. People will always try to hurt you."

"Edward, please, don't say that. This was-"

"What, Bella? This was just a coincidence? Bad luck?" I raise my voice and turn to look at her.

I know she's concerned about me, but I can't calm down. Now, all the hurt and anger from before returns.

"Look, I know you're upset, but don't take it out on me. I did nothing here." She looks so hurt and all I want to do is to hug her, but then I remember this afternoon.

"Nothing? What was James doing at the shop this afternoon, Bella? Saying hello? I thought you hated him."

"What? How do you know he was there? Were you following me or something?" She looks hurt and angry. I am more.

"No. After everything that happened in the studio I just needed to get the hell out of there and go to the one person I care the most about, who would never hurt me or betray me. That's you Bella, and what do I find the second I turn the corner? You and James talking like old friends and then he _touched_ you, _kissed_ your hand." I have to shake my head at the image. It's too much.

"What? What are you saying?" She walks until she's right in front of me. She's seething, and her hands are fists at her sides.

"I understand that you're hurt about what happened today, but don't you dare make accusations when you don't know what happened. Yes, he came to the shop; he said he wanted to offer me a job. All I wanted was to punch him in the balls, but my boss was there as well and as far as he knew, James was a customer. I couldn't just throw him out, so I went along with it.

"But make no mistake, Edward. I wanted nothing more than to kick him out, and the fact that you think that something, anything, more than that might've happened makes me want to hurt _you_ instead." She pokes her finger at my chest.

That move makes me angry.

"What did you want me to think, Bella? Huh? After the day that I just had and then I find my girlfriend with the same guy who did this the first time? It's too similar." I whisper the last part and regret it the second it leaves my mouth.

"Are you comparing me to Renata?" She looks like I just slapped her with my words.

"How could you think that? After everything that we've been through? We took our time; I waited for you to be okay with us. I wanted you to be comfortable with this." She motions to the space between us. "Do you really think that I have something with James? That I've been- what? Pretending not to like him in front of you?"

If that were true, it would truly kill me.

"How can you think that I'd lie to you like that? Pretend like that?" She suddenly takes a step back, almost like she just realized something. "Edward, has everything been a lie between us? Have _you_ been pretending with me, just to humor me?" God, she sounds so sad.

"What? No! Everything that I've said and done has been what I've felt at the time. I've given you everything I could, everything you needed. I've tried to be the perfect boyfriend because you deserve that."

Bella stares at me for a long time after that, not saying a word and searching for something in my face. After a while, she sighs sadly.

"Did you just hear yourself, Edward? You've been doing what's best for _me_ and that's incredible, but what about you? Why are you trying to be the perfect boyfriend when I never wanted that in the first place. I didn't fall in love with the perfect man, God knows that's not the case here, but I love _you_. Screw ups and trips to the countryside and everything in between. Why are you trying to force yourself to be perfect?"

Silence falls between us, and I just notice that it's getting darker in the room. How long have we been here?

We stand here in the middle of my living room, staring at each other for a few moments. Slowly, all the rage seeps away from me. I just did what I always promised I'd never do: I hurt her. I can see it clearly in her face, hear it in her voice. I never wanted to disappoint her with today's behavior, but I did. I went back to that Edward of two years ago, and in the process I hurt the person that means the most, the one that gave me reason to not go back to that.

I think back to our time together, to all the great dates and quiet moments, just the two of us or with friends. I was always myself with her and I always put her first, I never questioned it. It's easy to be with her like that, but I see that at the same time that in wanting the best for her, I might've been trying to be too perfect, pushing down things that I needed to face.

The memory of the box Marcus sent comes to mind, and with everything from these past months, I _should've_ been ready for it, I wanted to be, but I wasn't.

"Because I wasn't enough for Renata, I wasn't what she wanted or needed and in the end, she chose another over me," I whisper.

Tears roll down her cheeks, leaving a trail on her pretty face.

"Edward, that's not true." Her voice shakes. "She didn't love you; it didn't matter what you did, that was never going to change. How could you think you're not enough for anyone? Have I not told you how much you mean to me time after time? How much I just can't get enough of you?

"You've come so far since the first time we met, but it seems that you've been forcing yourself to move forward when you weren't completely ready for that. You haven't had closure, at least not completely."

Her words are close to what I was thinking.

I close my eyes and then I feel her hand on my cheek. I can't believe how badly I treated her, how I let my history with James and Renata cloud what she means to me.

"I think-" She chokes and I open my eyes to look at her, more and more tears are falling down her cheeks.

"I think it might be a good idea for me to head for Seattle… alone." She places her hand on my lips to stop me from talking.

She's breaking up with me? I feel sick.

"You need to sort things out here first; you can't just leave your studio like that. And I also think it might be a good idea for us to take a step back from each other, to take these two weeks to really think about what we want."

No, no, no.

"But I know what I want, Bella. I'm sorry for being an asshole. I promise I'll change. Please." I plead and take her hand and kiss it.

"Edward." She cradles my head with her hands. "I'm not breaking up with you, I don't _want_ to break up with you, but we both need some time to think and take a breather. Can you understand that?"

The relief I feel when she says she doesn't want to break up with me is short lived. She still wants to leave. The pain from before, the one from being hurt by someone I trusted, morphs into something much stronger with her words.

The usual tug I feel around my heart is almost excruciating now, pressing on my chest, taking my breath away.

"Maybe we jumped into this too fast." She smiles a little when she says that. "Maybe you weren't ready for this just yet. It's been four years for me, and two for you to try and have a real relationship. We've been so happy that we didn't see anything else."

I nod; I see what she means. Our bubble ended up hurting us. Just being happy with her, I didn't see what was happening around me.

"God, I love you. I want you to be okay, so much, but you need to really deal with this, Edward. You can't be the man you think I want you to be, but be the man I _know_ you really are." Our foreheads are touching now and I see and feel her tears on my skin as well.

"I love you, Bella." I want to plead with her not to leave, to forget about this day and go back to bed like every night this week, but I can't. She's right, I have to deal with things from my past first and that's something I never did. I just hid and then buried them.

"I know. It's not about not loving each other." Her tears just won't stop.

I bring her closer to me, my arms around her waist while her hands are still on my cheeks.

I know she's right. I can't leave today, there's too much to deal with at work and decisions to make.

"Okay, I have to go back to my place. Alice and Jasper are there." She says, but doesn't move. "I'll text you when I land in Seattle, okay?"

"God, Bella. I'm so sorry."

"I know you are. Just take this time to really breathe and think, Edward. We _will_ talk when I get back, okay?"

I nod and I bring her close, kissing her lips. She doesn't push me away, but the kiss tastes of her salty tears. It's bittersweet and I refuse to think it's goodbye.

"I love you."

"I love you, too."

I feel so cold when her skin leaves mine, and I'm left standing there after she leaves.

The room is dark and silent, so silent after the harsh words I hit her with.

"Bella," I say, barely a whisper. It's a call and a plea.

The sound of my voice is hollow, bouncing off the walls. I guess that's exactly how I feel, empty without her here. This whole apartment feels much bigger without her here: her laughter and jokes and just… her.

I repeat her name over and over, and I'm almost afraid that as the words fade into the air, so will Bella from my life.

How could I have said those things to her? Treated her like I did after all the promises I made? I feel physically sick at the reality that I hurt her.

I drove her away even when she left for the sake of both of us, so we could both think about what we want.

I just want her.

God, what have I done?

* * *

><p><strong>What have you done, indeed.<strong>

**From the highest of highs to the lowest of lows. Part of the journey is also taking steps backwards, in the wrong direction or even stumble once in awhile. To me, that can show you how much you've actually moved forward and how much you really want to keep improving.**

**This is a necessary step for him and much like B said, they're not breaking up, they don't want to. He needs to stay in Paris to deal with the mess and she needs to go to Seattle. The timing just sucks. As you can see, this story is not angst, so don't freak out on me, lol. Remember, it's less than 30 chs total. The next couple of chapters are a little bit different (no, not just because of the emoness) so I don't know if I'll give you a written teaser for the next one. There, I said it all with that. ;-)**

**Also, the lovely ladies at the Perv Pack's Smut Shack rec'd LB as part of their Team WussPerv rec past Monday. Thank you, girls, I'm glad you're liking the story... hopefully even after this chapter, lol. You can check out their lovely words here, I totally blushed: www (dot) pervpackssmutshack (dot) com/2012/03/team-wussperv-little-buttons-3262012 (dot) html**

**And that's it for this week. The next chapter is already written and I'm working on Ch25 at the moment, so the next couple of updates should be closer to schedule. I could never leave you hanging after this one.  
><strong>

**Thank you for reading once again and I'll see ya in a couple of weeks... if you're still reading, lol.**


	24. Rains

**Sup, ladies?**

**And here we are again. I know last chapter was different from the rest for these kids and you're so pretty with humoring me, lol.**

**As you can see, this is the longest chapter eveeeeeer… for this story. I thought about cutting it, but decided it against it in the end (obviously) since the flow felt just right like this. You be the judge. Just take your time with reading this one, lol.**

**Many thanks to my beta Songster for her help. She sees these things when they're pretty crazy. ;-)**

**I don't own Twilight, I just feel like an idiot having to state this.**

**Now let's see just what happened once Bella left for Seattle…**

O~o~O~LB~O~o~O

'**Rains'**

"_Ladies and gentlemen, we'll be landing at Seattle Tacoma International Airport in a few minutes, please… "_

I tune out the rest of what it's been said and fix my eyes to the view out the window. It's very late at night and we've been traveling for so long. I knew what to expect, but still, traveling is so tiring. It's not really that bad though; I normally just close my eyes and sleep the rest of the way, and the next thing I know, I'm at my destination.

Not this time though.

I haven't been able to think of anything else other than the last time I spoke with him.

Edward.

A wave of emotions hits me and I have to close my eyes for a few moments to catch my breath and to stop replaying the images of yesterday in my head, how his voice cracked, how his face looked when I arrived at his place: hurt and frustration flashing across his features.

He had been so angry and scared at the prospect of history repeating itself. Who wouldn't, really? Yesterday's events seemed like such a cruel joke of life. How many times does he have to go through this in order to find happiness and peace? I thought we already had all that happiness and peace, that all those times together, the soft touches and secret whispers, would be proof of it.

I guess I had been wrong. Life had more in store for us.

I shake my head for a second when that image changes into the face I saw when I told him that it might be best if we took a short break apart. I never thought my heart could hurt so much by simply uttering a few words. I didn't want to take a break, I wanted to be with him and soothe him and support him while he went through these awful events. I was going to, but something stopped me from cancelling or delaying my trip until he was okay.

I wasn't sure what it was and I was feeling so hurt and overwhelmed that, in the end, I let those feelings guide me out of that apartment. He was already coming up with theories in his head as to what was happening, ideas that had I not stopped them there, would've led him to say things he later regretted.

I'm sure he already regrets half the things he did and said yesterday.

As much as it hurt me to even think about it, a break from each other, however short that may be, is the best thing for him, for _us_. Being with him these past months has been amazing, but it also made him blind to what was happening right in front of him. With me taking a step back, I think he'll be able to look at things more objectively. He needs to close this chapter, to stop James once and for all, and to finally say goodbye to Renata.

The fact that he thought for even a split second I might be doing what she did, hurt like crazy. I understood, but it hurt nonetheless. We'll never be able to move on as a couple if he brings someone else's past mistakes to the table. I'm not Renata, and it saddened me that for a moment he thought otherwise.

"You'll be back soon enough, you know?" I turn to my left and see the passenger right across the aisle from me, a concerned look on her face.

"I'm sorry, what?"

"You'll be back to Paris again, dear. Whoever you left behind, you'll see him again."

"How do you know?" I don't even know this person. We've only been sharing this close space for a few hours, but I want her words to be true, I _need_ them to be true.

"I just do." She shrugs and smiles. "You've been restless all night, and I can bet that the one making you feel like this is going through the same. I'm sure you'll see him soon."

She doesn't know anything that's going on in my life. She probably says the words because she's tired of seeing me fidgeting, but she tells me this with so much conviction, I can't help but believe her.

I take a breath and close my eyes, and see Edward's anguished face behind my lids. It pains me to think that he might be going through this much uneasiness. Right then though, I see his happy face, the one he makes when we're gathered around my small dining room table and he's telling me of Marie's latest adventures, or when he talks about his week at work.

That's the man I want to see when we meet again. I know he'll make the right decision and that this will all be worth it.

"I hope so," I whisper and go back to looking out the window. My right hand automatically goes to touch my left wrist, feeling the cool metal and little charm dangling there. I've been running my fingers over it every time I feel the pain in my chest, as if this little _macaron_ charm is the only thing holding me together. Maybe it is.

I can see we're close to landing, and it strikes me just how long it's been since I've seen this city.

When we finally touch ground, everything feels surreal. I'm here, in Seattle, after four years and I'll finally get to see Dad face to face. It feels so bittersweet to be here without Edward by my side though. This trip is so much different than what I envisioned.

After going through all the normal procedures at the airport, and retrieving my bags, I make my way to the exit, right where I can see loved ones hugging and smiling. It's past midnight and even though we're all tired, people still are able to smile when they find their loved ones.

My mind immediately goes to Edward and how much I want him here with me.

I take my cell phone out and after staring at the screen, thinking what to say, I send him a text, letting him know that I got here okay. God knows he must be stressing over it.

_I just landed, everything is okay. I love you and miss you already ~ B_

It feels like it's not enough to say these words, but I can't type more than that without starting to cry. I'm so spent.

_Thank God you're okay. I love you and miss you too ~ E_

I knew he was worrying and much like my text, I wish we could've said more. I just want to hear his voice, but I'm so tired and it's been such an overwhelming day. I just don't think talking on the phone at the airport is a good idea.

I pocket my phone and look around. There is only one face I'm searching for amongst the crowd. I make my way between the people around me until I hear my name in that warm and familiar voice.

"Bella!"

I look to my right, to a less crowded place and see Dad, waving and stretching to try to get a better view.

I hurry with my bags, not caring too much if people are in my way. I don't hit them, but right now they're an obstacle to where I want to be.

Once I reach him, I drop my bags and the four years apart slip away the moment I wrap my arms around his waist.

"Daddy," I whisper and choke at the same time. I know he heard me though; his arms around me bring me closer to him.

He feels so warm, his thick sweater soft against my cheek. I close my eyes, although it doesn't stop the tears from falling, and inhale that familiar scent: tobacco and aftershave. I've always reprimanded him for smoking and shortening his life, but right now, that scent only brings me comfort.

I feel his mustache on my temple when he kisses me and I giggle when it tickles. I used to love it when he tickled me on purpose when I was a little girl, I couldn't stay mad at him for long when he peppered my face with tickling kisses.

"I've missed you so much, Daddy." My voice is muffled against his clothes and I don't know if he can hear me, but it doesn't matter, we're here.

"Me too, Bella, me too. I'm so happy you're here again." His voice is thick with emotion, and when I look up, I see a few tears in his eyes as well.

"I'm sorry for staying away so long."

"Don't be sorry, honey, it was the best move for you. I'm just sorry I didn't do more with-"

"Don't, Dad. There was nothing else that you could've done." I know he always felt guilty for not reading Jake better, but it wasn't his fault. I was the one hiding things from everyone.

"I love you so much, honey. Nothing like that will ever happen again." I smile through my tears and remember the similar words Edward said once. I believed them when he said them and I believe them now.

"I know, Daddy, I know. I love you too." I hug him again.

I can't believe I stayed away for this long, but being with him like this brings back so many familiar memories: happy summers, silly game nights, chatty movie marathons. It feels like we've never been apart.

We stay like that for a while, me close to him and feeling so, so safe in his arms. I don't care about the rest of the people around us, all rushing to get somewhere, tumbling and rolling their bags through the terminal. He moves his hands up and down my back, much as he did when he tried to soothe me to sleep when I was a kid. It's almost having the same effect right now.

I'm tired but the high of seeing him again keeps me awake. I'll crash later when we get to the house.

Too soon, I reluctantly start to move apart when I hear two familiar voices close to us.

"But Mom, someone could steal her bags."

"The bags that are right at their feet, while we're standing next to them?"

I smile when I see his face pouting and dear God, he's just so big.

"I guess some things never change, right Seth?" I say and smile up at him. "Always trying to prove that you can do things on your own."

"Well, I can now. I'm not that little kid you met." He stands tall and flexes his arms to show me, through his thick jacket, how much muscle he packs these days.

Seth, my little brother.

He was just a teenager, barely fifteen, when I left the country four years ago. Since I had been living in New York for a few years before that, it was only on holidays and summers that we got to hang out. I treasure every time we did.

About a year after Mom died, Dad met Sue. They worked together and I guess the connection from losing their spouses was what brought them together. Sue lost her husband after a car accident and was left with a six year old and a pile of debts, six years before meeting Charlie. Little by little she made her own life and from what I know, she never gave much thought to dating until she met Dad.

I was eighteen at the time they met, just in my first year of college and Dad tells me this news: he met someone. I had been so upset with him, felt betrayed and hurt by this bombshell. How could he have moved on from Mom after only a year? Had she meant nothing to him? We barely spoke those first months.

It ended up being Alice who made his case. She said that Charlie was all the family I had now and just because he had a new woman in his life, he was not betraying Mom's memory. Didn't I want to see him happy? Smile and laugh like he used to? She made me see that, in the end; we all grieve in different ways and recover from things at different paces. It didn't mean that Mom was any less important to him. Things tend to happen when you least expect it and they happened to Dad.

I made a surprise visit to Seattle, and after a lengthy talk, we patched things up. It turns out he had been nervous about this new relationship too. Not just about what I would think, but also because he felt so guilty for having those feelings for another woman; he actually resisted them for a while.

A week later, I ended up meeting Sue and her son, then twelve-year-old boy who wasn't happy sharing his Mom with anyone else. To say it was a tense dinner is putting it mildly.

Joining our two families was a hard process with a few setbacks, but we made it work. Both Seth and I understood that neither Sue or Charlie were replacing what we'd lost, we were creating our own little family, something new. It also helped me that I was living at the other side of the country. It certainly gave me time and space to deal with things.

Seth and I finally got along, and I found that it was kind of fun to have a little brother. He had so much energy; it made my summers very interesting. Alice also came to visit, and whenever he could, Seth tagged along. Even Emmett visited us one summer, the year before things with Jake fell apart, and having the same kind of energy made them bond on the spot.

"You're definitely not that little kid anymore." I laugh and dry my eyes with one of my hands, my other one refusing to let go of my Dad.

"How are you, Bella?" Seth comes over and gives me a big hug, my arm bending weirdly because Dad still holds my hand.

"I'm good." I smile against his jacket and feel another set of tears trying to fall. He truly has changed, and it makes me feel a little sad that I've missed so much with him. We emailed and sometimes Skyped, and he actually taught Charlie how to do it too, but it's not enough.

He backs away, and then I see Sue. Because I was so focused on finding my Dad, I hadn't noticed until they spoke that Sue and Seth had come along. I feel a little embarrassed by this. They're family too.

"Hi, Sue."

Dad finally lets go of my hand and gives me space to hug Sue. She has always been very tactile with those she loves. She's always hugging or holding your hand. I thought it was odd at first, but then I got used to it and now, feeling her like this, brings those years I lived between Seattle and New York back.

I feel cared for.

Of course, the tears fall freely now, and it's Sue who wipes them from my face this time.

"It's so good to see you, sweetie. I can't believe how beautiful you've become." She smiles as she cradles my face.

I looked so skinny and lifeless right before leaving for Paris that she's seeing so many changes now.

"I blame all those extra pounds on Alice," I joke and let her guide me towards the exit.

"I bet she _is_ guilty of that."

From the corner of my eye I see Seth picking up my bags and Dad fighting him on it. Even Dad wants to prove that he's still a strong guy.

"Don't mind them, they do this all the time. I take advantage of it when I need to move furniture. It's practical for me and a competition for them. Men," Sue huffs and smiles at her boys. I can see it in her eyes how much she loves Dad.

I once told Edward that you had to meet Dad and Sue in person to understand their connection. Now here with them, even with those short little looks, I can see that it's strong as ever.

"So, what did you do to make him propose, Sue? It's been like seven years now." I smirk; it truly was about time they get married.

"Could you believe he thought it up all on his own? Surprised me one day with a ring and a fancy dinner."

I laugh, Dad told me this story, the abridged version, so I'm curious as to what else happened.

We reach the car and after putting the bags in the trunk, Dad sits with me in the back while Seth drives and Sue sits next to him. I fought them on this, I know Dad hates sitting in the back, but as soon as he pulls me close to him after we settle, I stop fighting it.

It feels so calming to rest my cheek close to his heart while he hugs me tightly to him. It seems like he's afraid to let me go for even a second.

We travel the streets of Seattle and I take a peek from my Dad's chest to the outside. It's dark and lights fill the streets but people are everywhere, even with the rainy weather and the late hour. I guess I had forgotten a little bit about life in Seattle, life goes on no matter how much it rains.

The more I look, the more changes I find than the last time I visited: new buildings, some stores I remember seem to be gone as we pass through the streets. A soft rain started to fall as we left the airport. Not that it's shocking, but seeing all of this, all of these changes and new people, it feels like I'm in a different world all of a sudden.

Almost like it's just starting to sink in that I'm not in Paris anymore.

I'm not in bed in Edward's arms, naked and touching and kissing him. I'm not going to bed after my usual day of working and spending time with friends and my boyfriend.

I close my eyes when I start to feel my breathing pick up. My hand goes to touch the bracelet without me even thinking about it. When I inhale this time, even though I get the same scent that less than an hour ago gave me comfort, it's simply not the one I'm craving at the moment. It's not Edward's.

I'm just not with Edward.

"Are you all right, Bella?" I hear my Dad ask and feel the vibrations of his voice on my cheek.

"Yeah, I'm just a little overwhelmed at the moment." I look up to find his concerned eyes staring down at me.

I called him last night to let everyone know that there was a change of plans and that I was coming to Seattle alone. I didn't give Dad many details, but I know he'll ask me soon enough. I'm sure he can see that more than being overwhelmed, I'm also upset about other things.

"Yeah, I know." He kisses my forehead. "We'll be home soon, so you can rest and settle in. Don't worry, everything will be okay."

I tilt my head a little to look at him. He looks a little tired, it is late after all, but happy as well, relieved.

I've always thought he was my hero: saving me from imaginary monsters when I was a child or mean boys at the playground. When he says things like this, I've always believed him, but after New York things changed for him. He realized that he can't always save me. Sometimes I just have to fight my own battles.

I look out the window again and rest against his chest, remembering my trip _to_ the airport in Paris with Alice and Jasper.

On my way there, I was a mess. Alice consoled me while Jasper drove, and even though they didn't know what had happened, it was obvious that Alice wanted to kill Edward. She was simply upset that someone had hurt me in the first place.

After I told them an abbreviated version of my talk with Edward, Alice got angrier. She truly wanted to hurt Edward. It was Jasper who remained calmer. That was the thing about Jasper, he considers things from every angle and then makes a decision. I'm sure he was trying to see things from Edward's point of view and trying to make sense of things.

I had to make them promise me that they wouldn't do anything to Edward. This was something that we both needed to deal with, and I knew that Edward would need support as well. He loved Alice and Jasper, and I just knew that this rift between us would be weighing heavily on him. Not just because of me, but because of his friendship with Alice, Jasper and Emmett.

He couldn't lose them too.

Seth keeps driving while talking about a party he wants to go to tonight. It's Friday after all, and he tries to convince Sue to let him drive her car. Sue will have none of that and wants us to spend the night in as a family. Since I arrived past midnight, we'll have a family dinner on Friday night instead.

I smile while I listen to him plead his case. He's certainly the son of two lawyers. I'm sure he gets away with a lot these days from the way he talks. In the end, they agreed that he will eat at home and go out later in the night. I don't mind; I'll probably be catching up on sleep for a few days and we'll have plenty of time together with Seth.

I can't also believe that my little brother, that little brooding kid I met all those years ago, is now a pre-law student at the University of Washington. He doesn't live at home anymore, but from what Dad tells me, that doesn't stop him from popping in and eating all their food a couple of times a week.

Soon, we're in the Queen Anne neighborhood and driving down our street. After just a couple of blocks, the house comes into view.

It still looks beautiful and I think Dad must've given it a fresh coat of paint recently. This might not be the house I grew up in, but it's the house where our new family was born, the house where we said goodbye to Mom and where Dad and Sue started their new life.

It's a beautiful three-story house with five bedrooms, a large balcony on the second floor, a front porch and a fireplace for those cold days. The house looks pretty simple from the outside, but Dad had it redone almost entirely on the inside. Then, Sue beautifully redecorated it over the years. There are still things Dad left from Mom, a few pictures and furniture, but mostly, he wanted to give Sue her own home.

What's best about this house though, has nothing to do with how it looks or what it has on the inside, it's by far the view: a clear view of the bay, mountains and the Sound. I can't even remember how many days I spent just staring at the water from my bedroom window.

I could just be there, sitting on my little couch, for hours and hours watching the rain fall or the colors changing in the sky at dawn or at sunset during the summer.

We get out of the car and Seth rushes to grab my bags while we all head inside. I'm still half hugging Dad so this time he doesn't try to help Seth.

When we get inside, the air feels instantly warm and the smell of lavender infuses the rooms. Sue loves lavender and I remember she even grew a few plants in the backyard. Dad and Seth were not that happy about the 'girly' smell, but I know they wouldn't change it; it smells like home.

I look around and everything looks similar to what I remember, just a few new pieces of furniture and the rearranging of others. Sue has done a great job with the house and the more I reacquaint myself with my surroundings, the more it feels like home.

She heads to the kitchen while Seth takes my bags to the second floor as I stand with Dad in the living room.

Something catches my eye and I walk towards the bookcase. I lightly run my hand over a photo frame: it's Mom, Dad and me when I was about five.

"Sue insisted on leaving it there," Dad says behind me. He's still standing by the door.

Sue. She has always been very open about having memories of both Mom and her late husband around the house. She said we were all family and they'd always be a part of us, they were our parents as well, after all.

It's not too obvious, just a couple of photos around the house and things that remind us of them. A few pieces of furniture are in my room: the chair Mom used when she sewed, and the shelf where she kept her supplies back in Forks. Seth has a few things of his Dad's as well and we always appreciated Sue for letting us remember.

I nod and go back to him, once again wrapping my arms around him.

"Come on, you have to rest after that long trip," he says after a while.

When I enter my room and look around, tears well up in my eyes. Everything is exactly the same as I left it all those years ago: my bed in the same position, my favorite chair right by the window. Even my favorite stuffed bear is in the same place.

I run my hands over the different surfaces and smile remembering who I was when I lived here. I had been so happy to be in New York, doing what I really wanted, so spending my time here had been solely to have fun with my family and friends. I notice a few concert tickets on my bulletin board and a few silly pictures of Alice and me. She looks so happy in them; I think they were taken shortly after meeting Jasper.

"Don't cry, honey. Everything will be okay, you're home now." My Dad comes closer and puts his arms around my shoulders.

Home.

No, I love my family, but this is not home. Paris is home. Edward is home.

That thought and the fact that I'm not sharing these moments with him brings more tears, and now I'm crying on my Dad's shoulder. Everything that's happened since yesterday comes rushing back again: the fight with Edward, his hurt face, my stupid words, seeing Dad again, being here in this house. It's suddenly too much.

"Shh… it's okay, Bella, it's okay."

I cry and cry, and then let my Dad move me to my bed and help me lay down. He never breaks contact as I cry and he tells me words of comfort, they help a little but they're not enough. Soon, the world fades and with it all thoughts of broken hearts and longings.

Maybe everything was a bad dream after all, and when I wake up, things will be different.

O~o~O~LB~O~o~O

I wake up hours later to the smell of food. It takes me a few moments to remember where I am and what happened: I cried myself to sleep in my Dad's arms.

I'm alone now and under the covers, with a headache and hungry as hell because of the smells. I notice that it's not night-time anymore; I must've been more tired than I thought.

I get out of bed and look out the window. It's raining again, much as I thought it might be. I can't see much through the raindrops hitting my window. The images outside look a little blurry, but I smile none-the-less; I'll have to get used to the constant rain while I'm here.

I get my things and after taking a shower, I head downstairs to the kitchen.

"Good Morning. I hope you had a nice sleep?" Sue says from the other side of the counter.

"Morning and yeah, I was really tired." I stretch a little. I'm still a little tired.

"Sorry you had to stay up late last night to get me from the airport," I say when I see her looking a little tired as well. Thank God she doesn't have to go to work today. I'd feel worse for her.

"Don't worry, Bella. It wasn't your fault, you silly girl."

"Still, I feel bad about it. Maybe a few gifts can make up for it?" I tease her, even though I did bring her a few things from Paris.

"Nothing to be sorry about, but I'll take my French gifts." She laughs as she flips the pancakes.

"Okay then. In the meantime, is there anything I can help you with?"

"Don't worry, it's almost done. Sit there and relax. Charlie had to go to the office for a little while, but he'll be back just in time to eat. How he manages to always do that is beyond me."

"He has a sixth sense for food. He always knows when things are ready." I laugh, I had forgotten about Dad's great timing.

We chat while she finishes breakfast, and I help her set the table, after I pretty much launched myself at her when she picked up the plates and cutlery. It's nice to talk to Sue. We do that sometimes on the phone, but it's much better right now, being face to face with her: to see her expressions and how she uses her hands as much as her mouth to talk.

"So, are you nervous about the wedding?" I ask her, when we're back in the kitchen.

"Not really. I mean we've been together for seven years and I was married before, so it's not like I don't know what I'm getting myself into. It's a little weird though, now that I'll be Mrs. Swan."

I stop what I'm doing and look up. I wasn't expecting that, but honestly, I don't know what I was actually expecting. Just hearing that she'll be Mrs. Swan, when Mom was for so many years, hurts a little, and for a second it almost feels like she's being replaced, but that thought dies immediately. It's time that Sue gets to be Mrs. Swan; she loves Dad and he loves her as well. It's as simple as that.

"I'm sorry, I thought you knew." She looks concerned, I guess from seeing my expression.

"It's okay. I can't say it's not weird to hear the words, but I'm not upset, Sue. I'm happy for you and Dad. It's time." It truly is. I move my hand and squeeze hers.

"Thank you, Bella." Squeezing back, she goes back to finishing the rest of the food.

Just as we thought, Dad gets home right on time, and we all have a nice family breakfast, with Seth joining us half way through it. He just got up and is taking advantage of the fact that he doesn't have classes on Fridays. I giggle when I see his face light up when he sees all the food.

Boy can this kid eat.

During the day, I show them the gifts I brought for them and the things I've been meaning to show them for a long time, mostly sketches and pictures of my life in Paris. I tell them stories and even though they've heard a few of them, they laugh and smile as I recount them. My smiles are a little bittersweet when I mention things with Edward, not because I didn't enjoy my time with him, but because he's not here sharing these stories with me.

More than once I consider getting my phone to send him a text, but I never know what to say and how to start it.

That night, sleep doesn't come as easily as I thought, and after remembering the day and all that Edward missed, I end up giving up and send him a text with the only words that truly matter.

_I love you __ B_

I finally relax and close my eyes, picturing his smiling face when I get his reply.

_I'll never stop loving you ~ E_

O~o~O~LB~O~o~O

That weekend is spent at home and walking around the neighborhood. I don't feel much like going downtown just yet. I like this part of the city; it's close to downtown, but our neighborhood is quiet and peaceful and almost feels away from it all.

We know all our neighbors and they all make me feel very welcome when they see me strolling by. I love that they remember me and ask about my life in Paris. It feels a little bit like the interactions I have with my neighbors back in Paris.

Apparently Dad and Sue are always bragging about their designer daughter, and I smile when they want to know about the fabulous life I must be living there. It's hard to convince them that it's pretty normal, that I'm not wearing a beret or eating baguettes all the time, although I do tell them about the _macarons_.

There's always time for _macarons_.

That weekend, I also get to see Sue's dress. It's a beautiful ivory floor length, silk dress. She's tall and slender and the dress fits her perfectly and flows beautifully when she walks. I almost feel a little jealous of the person who made it and the perfect job they did.

Sue tells me it was from a small wedding boutique she found one afternoon, totally by chance, and fell in love with it right away. To go with it, she'll pair it up with a long ivory coat with a shawl collar and a single button at the front, allowing people see the dress underneath. It will be perfect for the short photo session outside in the gardens. We're all hoping that it doesn't rain too much, at least for the photos. After that, we'll all be inside enjoying the reception.

I'm flattered when she asks me if I could make last minute changes to it, nothing major since the wedding is really close, and something that can be done in one afternoon. However, it's the fact that she wants me to leave my mark on it that touches me. She doesn't vacillate when she asks and just like Alice with her dress for the Gala, Sue trusts me completely.

I go up to my room and retrieve the small sewing kit that belonged to my Mom from one of the drawers. I had found it Saturday morning while I was putting away my things. Mom had a few of those around the house. She always said that she never knew when she had to fix something and couldn't be bothered to run to her studio to look for her things. I always laughed and told her she was being silly; it only took like one minute to get there, but she said why waste time. So she had little sewing kits in different places around our house for such emergencies.

Sue and I spend Sunday working on her dress in her room, no boys allowed. So Dad took the opportunity to hang out with his friends: his last weekend as a single guy he said. Sue and I rolled our eyes; they've been pretty much married for years now.

The wedding is next Saturday, in little less than a week, and everything will be held at the Emerald Room at The Hall at Fauntleroy. From the pictures Sue has shown me, the place is gorgeous and the wedding will be nothing but amazing.

Sue wanted the ceremony held in one of the gardens, but with the constant rain making things messy and the fact that she didn't want to wait until the spring to get married, this option was axed. Now the ceremony and reception will be held inside, in this beautiful brick interior room, with a great view of the ivy-covered ravine surrounding the gardens.

Even with rain falling outside, the view will be beautiful.

All these things filled my time for those first two days, but it's at night that my mind can't stop thinking. Edward is all I can see when I close my eyes, and I wonder what he's doing at the moment. Had he gone to see James?

Different scenarios play in my head and make it almost impossible for me to find peaceful sleep. I want him to be here with me, sleeping by my side, and to feel his naked skin on mine and share little things from our day.

On the contrary, here I am, in a cold bed with no one to share secret smiles with.

I see the time late Sunday night and think about calling Alice; she should be getting breakfast at the moment, so I know she'll be awake and not too busy before going to work. I missed her call after I got here and fell asleep; she talked to Dad instead.

"Bella?"

"Yeah, it's me."

"I'm so glad you called, sweetie. I was worried when I called Charlie and he told me you were sleeping. What took you so long to call back? I'm hurt." She's teasing, but it's true; it's taken me three days to call her back.

"Yeah, I'm sorry about that. I've been hanging out with Sue and Dad and then helping Sue with her dress. You should see it Alice, it's beautiful and the reception will be incredible."

"Really? Who knew Charlie had it in him. Take tons of pictures though."

"I will." I laugh; this whole wedding is all Sue. Dad just wants to make her happy.

"So, how are things with Charlie? How was it to see him again?"

"It was emotional, but good. He's so changed, Alice, but in a good way. I've really missed him." He had not been happy when I pointed that he had a few more gray hairs.

"I know, sweetie, I know. Now you have two weeks with them, well, almost two weeks. They will be going on a honeymoon, right?"

"Yeah, but just for the weekend. Dad will take Sue on a longer one when the weather is better."

We are silent for a while, and I can almost tell that she wants to talk about Edward and what happened on Thursday.

"I saw Edward yesterday," she blurts.

"What? Where?" My heart almost hurts hearing his name. I want to ask a million more questions. Is he okay? How did he look?

"Yeah, I went to see Rose yesterday for a play-date for the girls, and he was there. He left when we got there though."

I close my eyes. Please, Edward, don't push your friends away.

"Did you say something to him?" I whisper.

"I was going to, actually. I was pissed as you know, but I didn't. Jasper put things into perspective after you left." I figured as much, he might be pissed, but he'd never be an ass to Edward.

"He looked awful, Bella. I don't think he has slept since Thursday." She sounds concerned.

I close my eyes and run a hand though my hair, picturing his face.

"Rose didn't say anything about it, only that he has a lot to deal with at the moment."

"God, Alice."

"For what it's worth, I think you made the right choice here. This is the kick in the butt he needed to deal with his issues and maybe kick James in the ass, literally. You know I was pissed when you told me what he said about thinking you were with James. You deserve so much more than your boyfriend thinking that of you, Bella."

"Alice-" I want to defend him. Even though I was hurt, I still love him.

"Bella," she interrupts "As much as I would've loved to say something to him, I can see that this affected him immensely. He loves you; we can all see that. Him reacting like this proves it, he can't live without you and it's only been a couple of days. Believe me, he will reach out to you again, he's working things out."

That's all I wanted for him, that he could grow and be that great guy he really is.

"Thank you, Alice. I just hope he makes the right choices this time and doesn't go back to close himself off."

"I'm sure he won't."

We talk for a little bit after that as she tells me how things are back home.

After we hang up and with everything she said about Edward, I can't sleep. I'm glad he seems to be trying, but at the same time I hate the image of him broken and tired.

Before I even think about it, I'm dialing his number.

"Hello? Bella?" He sounds hopeful and eager.

"Hi." I close my eyes and record to memory the few words he just said and the sound of his voice.

We stay silent after this. It seems stupid to ask him how he he's been, I already know from Alice and the tone of his voice just now.

"Shouldn't you be asleep right now? Isn't it like the middle of the night in Seattle?" He asks and even sounds a little amused.

"Yeah, it is. I just couldn't sleep."

He hums and I hear background sounds on his side, like fabric rustling.

"Where are you?" I'm curious, he should be at work, but it sounds like he's in bed.

"At home, I skipped work today."

"Oh." Maybe he'll get to sleep now.

"Do you want me to hang up so you can go back to sleep?" His voice sounds so small, nothing like him.

"No! I just- I couldn't sleep. I wanted to hear your voice, just to know that you're there." I admit.

"I'm here, Bella, I'll always be here." I hear more sounds and I think he's settling in bed.

"Are you in bed, Edward Cullen, in the middle of the morning?" I tease.

"Yeah, I am. I couldn't sleep last night either." He sounds so tired.

I hum and close my eyes. I can just picture him in bed, his hair all over the place in a rumpled shirt. More and more it makes me want to be right next to him.

"Don't hang up." I'm already starting to fall asleep, calming from hearing his voice, even when we've said nothing important.

"I won't. Sleep, I'll be here."

We stay silent the rest of the time, and just listen to each other's breathing and yawns. It's silly, really, but knowing he's there, on the other side of this line is enough to relax me, and from his even breaths, he's close to falling asleep as well.

Just before the world fades, I hear his voice telling me softly that he loves me.

I'm not sure my words are understandable at that point, but I tell him I love him as well.

That will never change.

O~o~O~LB~O~o~O

The next couple of days pass in a flurry of activity. Sue took some time off from work to finalize the wedding and I go with her to some of those appointments. Everything is pretty much ready for Saturday and only few details need to be finalized. I truly can't wait for that day.

Sue takes me around the city as well, even though I know it pretty well by now. She tells me more about Dad's proposal, and we giggle over lunch. I think she likes having a girl in the house and new eyes to give her input on wedding things. She has a friend who will be her Maid of Honor, but she is busy with work and such, so it's not like she can call her every two minutes.

So much has changed around the city, and Sue fills me in on everything. It's fun and I'll be coming back next week after the wedding to do a little shopping. We also visit Dad at work, and since Sue also works there, all the women ask her about the wedding. Dad rolls his eyes and takes us outside to eat.

I also hang out with Seth a little bit. He's so loud and happy; it's impossible not to be happy as well around him. He tells me about his classes and his friends and even a girl he's into. It's not like I have a lot of dating experience after moving to Paris, but I give him my honest input about it.

The nights are spent much the same since my call to Edward. I call him in the night and we talk a little, of nothing really. We can't talk about the important things over the phone. It's enough to just hear his voice and low whispers before sleeping.

On Wednesday, Dad takes me out to dinner, just the two of us. We've barely had time to be like this.

We're at this small restaurant downtown, and it's cozy enough for us to talk.

"So, Dad. Are you having second thoughts or something?" I joke, because he just looks too damn serious.

"Of course not, Bella." He huffs and it makes me giggle. "But now that we're talking about the wedding, well, I wanted to ask you something."

"Okay, shoot." Why is he so nervous?

"Well, as you know, Seth will be walking Sue down the aisle." I nod; I knew this. "And she already has a Maid of Honor, her best friend from high school." Again, I nod. "Well, I want you to be a part of the wedding too, so I'd like to ask you if you want to be my Best Man." He takes a sip of his beer.

I just stare at him.

"Um… What? You want me to be your Best Man?" I need to repeat this in case he's joking.

"Yeah, I know it's weird, but I really want you to be there with me – by my side. If you don't want to, that's okay, but…"

"No. I mean, yeah, I'd love to be your Best Man." I'm smiling and crying at the same time. I don't know what people must be thinking just looking at our table.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, I'm just surprised, but I'll be there with you, Dad. I'll be right by your side in case you want to escape or something." He pats my hand, and I can tell he's a little emotional as well.

I don't know what else to say; my Dad was always pretty traditional and now he'll have his daughter as his Best Man. Things have changed and I think for the better. He smiles more, he jokes with Seth and he's not shy about kissing Sue from time to time. He was a little self conscious when I first arrived, but it's not like I haven't seen them kissing before, so I told him to get over it and kiss his _fiancée_.

"So, what is the dress code for this? Can I wear a t-shirt with a tuxedo drawn on it?" I ask him over dessert.

"Not if you want Sue to let you in the wedding."

"Boo, okay." Yeah, he's right. Seth wanted to wear sneakers, but Sue only gave him one look and that sealed the deal, and he definitely won't be wearing those.

Maybe I could wear a tuxedo, something girly. That makes me giggle.

"What's so funny?"

"I just had a silly idea for what I'll wear. Not that I will. I don't have the time anyway even if I wanted to. Maybe with Edward's help I could've… "

I stop as soon as the words are out. Everything reminds me of him.

Dad sighs.

"Bella, I know I haven't asked about Edward. I barely know him from the few times he's been there with you when we Skyped, but I see that it's taking a toll on you to be apart from him. And I want to know about this guy who hurt my little girl."

I put my fork down and take his hand. He's right; he should know what's going on in my life. I also need to talk to someone else. I feel this pressure in my chest every time I breathe, and it's worst at night when I have no distractions. I've talked to Alice but she's too close to this, maybe talking to someone that hasn't met Edward will give me perspective.

So taking a breath, I tell Dad everything. How things have been evolving and how great my time has been with him. How he makes me feel and how much I know I've been helping him in return. In short, how much he's changed my life.

Then I tell him about last Thursday and how things played out, and my decision that we take some time away from each other.

Once I'm done, Dad hands me some napkins to dry my tears. I seem to have spent a lot of time crying this last week.

"And that's it. That's the story of Edward and Bella."

Dad is silent now. He's been asking me a few questions since I started my story: how certain things happened or asking me to repeat others. If I didn't feel so emotional, I would've laughed at his lawyer-y ways.

"So, what do you think?" Now I'm the nervous one, maybe I didn't see things correctly.

"Well, I say that I want to kick this guy for making my baby cry."

"Dad-"

"It's true, Bella, any parent would do that. However, I think this might be the right thing for the both of you. He sounds like he still has to deal with a few things from his past, and it might be best to do that alone. I don't know, only he can know what he needs." He shrugs.

"You had a great support system when New York happened., You were not alone and that's what you wanted." He frowns. New York is always a hard topic.

"You also _wanted_ to get better, that helped even more. Edward didn't choose that path; he never really had someone to push him or direct him to deal with things and from what you say, even if his sister had insisted, he would've rejected her help. Now the slightest change makes him doubt, even if it was just for a moment, and that's not fair to you or him. Neither of you can live in fear that he might blow up in the future if something similar happens." I close my eyes, I can't even think of the possibility of this happening again.

"I know he's not like Jake, at least from what you say, but just like with Jake, you can't be afraid of your actions or how much it'll set him off. I don't want that for you, even if I'm sure that he won't hurt you physically." He stares at his plate for a second. "I will not stand here and do nothing like last time, Bella. You are my priority and because of that, the fact that you are okay matters the most, not Edward."

I nod and try not to choke on tears.

I know that I'll always be his first priority and that he doesn't know Edward, so I understand his words. He's being honest and I know Edward is _nothing_ like Jake, but at the same time, Dad's right, I can't be afraid of everything around him.

And that's when it hits me.

Jake.

Now I know what that feeling pressing on my chest was when I left Edward at his apartment. It wasn't just the thought of leaving him or hurting from what was happening to him.

I was scared for _me_, because even for a moment, I saw Jake in front of me when Edward made his accusations. He was accusing me of something awful and suddenly I found myself having to explain things that could never be true.

It was the same thing that I had to do when I was with Jake: always justifying why I was late or who I was with.

When Edward said those words and accused me of those things, my mind went back to Jake for a moment, and instead of taking it and just staying silent, much like I did back then, I ran this time. I got out of that situation even when I knew that Edward was nothing like Jake. I just needed to get out even when my heart was breaking to pieces.

I don't deserve Edward not trusting me when he knows what kind of person I am, but at the same time, he doesn't deserve me comparing him to Jake either.

I'm such a hypocrite.

Even through my doubts this past week, I know it was a good choice to leave him behind to sort things out, and apparently I have unresolved things as well. I could also have waited a little bit and left in a better state, not just run to avoid the situation.

More than ever I want to take a flight back to Paris to talk to him face to face.

"I know you love him, honey. I can see it in your face. You smiled more when we Skyped, you laughed more when we talked on the phone. Even as tired as you were when I saw you at the airport, you looked better than I'd ever seen you. From the few talks I had with him with you there, I can tell he loves you as well. I think he wants to beat this for you, but like you told him, it has to be for him too. He can't have a life that just revolves around you.

"I think he'll manage to pull through, and you'll see him sooner rather than later. He sounds like an eager guy."

Through my new flow of tears I manage to laugh because, yeah, Edward sure can't wait for things at times.

"The only thing I care about though is whether _you_ want to be with him?"

"Yes." I don't even have to think about it. I love him; I want him with me.

"All right then, so he better get his act together before I meet him. I'll want to have a little talk with him."

"Dad, please. Don't be mean."

"I haven't met a single guy you're dating over four years. Do you really think I'll stay silent with this one?"

I don't point out that I haven't dated in four years. Dad will do what he feels is right anyway.

"Okay then." I wipe my eyes. "Thank you, Dad, for everything." He made me see more than he thinks.

After paying, we walk towards our car. I want to call Edward and simply listen to his voice until I see him again. I feel a little lighter having figured out this and also happy that I had this time together with Dad, talking to him was a good idea after all. I'll try to do this again before I leave.

"You're my daughter, Bella. I can't do anything less than that." With a kiss to my temple, we head home.

We don't talk on the phone that night, instead I text Edward that I love him and miss him.

I have a lot to think about.

O~o~O~LB~O~o~O

On Thursday, we finally get some sun. It rained the night before and they say it might rain tonight as well, but it's so nice to actually have some sunlight. I love the days after the rain. Everything looks so clean: the air, the colors.

Tomorrow is the rehearsal dinner for the wedding, and knowing I'll be helping Sue with a few things, I take my time today to just be alone around the city.

I go out for breakfast; I browse a few bookstores and pile up a few books to take back to Paris. I also take the opportunity to find a few things I was asked to buy while I was here.

When I pass an antique store, I remember Edward and our trip to the countryside. I see a marketplace and I'm reminded of our first time in one. I pass a bakery and I almost want to cry when they have a little sign that advertises French pastries. Not only would Alice huff at this, but I miss Edward's eager face if he saw these treats.

After I get home and put things away, I walk back to the living room and my eyes immediately go to the piano in the corner. I'm the only one who plays it so I know Dad only kept it for my sake.

I play a few notes, lightly touching the keys, and to my surprise, I find that Dad hasn't let it just sit idly here. It's perfectly tuned.

Slowly, I start to play one of my Mom's favorite pieces from my childhood. It always made her smile, even more when she was so sick that she could barely lift her hands to sew. She'd just sit near the piano while I played and smile at me.

We talked about the future, a future she wouldn't be a part of, and what she envisioned for me: how I'd meet the perfect guy, how I'd look at my wedding, how my kids would love music and create things. Seeing it play out in her mind would never be enough, but it had to do and from the way she talked about those things, it was enough for her.

She gave me her last pieces of advice before she was too tired to even talk but the biggest one was to live the life _I_ wanted, no one else's.

I stop the tune and suddenly I feel like I'm choking here. These walls look like they're closing in on me and there is not enough space for me here.

"I haven't heard that in years." My Dad startles me.

"Hi, I didn't hear you guys come in." I turn around and find him with Sue, who's wiping a few tears, standing a few feet away.

"Yeah, you were very immersed in that melody. Much like when you played it for your Mom." I nod.

Sue leaves to start dinner and it's just my dad and me.

"I'm going for a walk. I'll be back soon." I get up from the bench and move to get my coat.

"Are you sure, Bella? It's getting dark outside," Dad asks with a concerned look on his face, probably asking just what the hell happened.

"Yeah, it's just a little walk. I'll be back in time for dinner."

Dad looks at me for a long time. I want to huff like a teenager and tell him that I'm not a kid anymore, but I refrain. He worries, so I let him be a parent.

"Okay, honey, but take an umbrella, it's gonna rain soon." He acquiesces in the end.

"I will, I'll see you in a while."

I put on my raincoat and pass the umbrellas resting by the door. I'm sure I won't need one; I'll be back before the rain starts.

I walk down the street, my feet hitting the damp sidewalk. The water still hasn't completely evaporated, so I take some time to jump the puddles I find and laugh when they splash my rain boots. I love to do this, and this feels like the only moment of silliness I've allowed myself to indulge in while in Seattle. In Paris, and especially with Edward, I often do these little things, sometimes just to make him laugh.

I walk a couple of blocks until I find Marshall Park, this little hidden park close to our street. I love it; it was one of the places I used to come to when I wanted to escape my house for a few hours. After Mom died, everything reminded me of her in there; I couldn't stop thinking and feeling sad and felt overwhelmed all the damn time. So I took a book or even a sketchbook and sat here, overlooking the water for a few hours.

Dad knew about it but never called me on it. He saw that I needed some space and I think it also gave _him_ some space to deal with things.

I find what used to be my favorite bench and sit, looking at the same view that years before brought me some peace. It works for a few minutes until, well, it doesn't. My thoughts drift to Edward and how much he'd like this place. Would it inspire him? Would we sit in silence and just be with each other? Would we make out like teenagers?

God, I miss him. I need to see his face and touch his skin.

It's only one more week, I tell myself, one more week until I get back to Paris, but that might as well be a year from now. I've gotten so used to spending my time with him that this is plain torture.

I keep wondering what he came up with during this week. Our calls have been simply to know that the other is there, to revel in the slightest contact we can manage. I haven't asked him anything more, he'll tell me when he can. Maybe he needs more time to be alone and deal with things?

That thought alone is enough to keep me up at night.

I want him, I need him, I love him.

It's simple for me. I want all of him, the good and the bad, but it's difficult if he's not willing to be himself, to be imperfect around me. I want to try this; I want us to be happy together, even when he's infuriating and I'm being stubborn. It's about those late night talks as much as it is about those fights over movie nights.

I love him and I just want him to give himself to me completely, not a filtered version of him, not the Edward he thinks I want or need.

I feel a few drops on my cheek and I think I might've been crying, but they're too cold on my skin and when I stretch my hand in front of me, I realize that it's starting to rain, lightly still, but it won't be long before it pours.

I also look around and notice that it got dark. I had been so into my own head; I hadn't realized that night had fallen. The street lamps are on, and they illuminate the space in patches. Had it not been for the fact that I'm close to home, I would've been scared about those dark spots.

I look up and feel more water on my face. It feels nice actually. It's been a while since I've let myself really enjoy the rain like this.

I finally get up and move to leave when I see a dark shadow near a street lamp. The shadow moves just out of sight, and my instincts start kicking in right away. I'm already thinking about the distance to get home and how long it will take me to get there. I also put my hand in my pocket, touching my house keys, just in case I have to defend myself.

As I take a step back, the shadow moves, and there is something about it that strikes me as familiar. The shape or the way it stands, I don't know, but it's enough to make me stop on the spot. The shadow moves again, a little closer to the light, and now it starts taking form: a tall man.

More steps and just before he's right under the streetlamp, I recognize this shape, gasping when I finally see his face.

Edward.

In Seattle.

Without giving it much thought, my feet start moving in his direction, and a few seconds later, I'm standing in front of him, the two of us under the light.

He looks so tired, with dark circles under his eyes and those creases on his forehead more prominent again. He's been back to frowning and doesn't look like he's been shaving since last week.

The rain starts falling more strongly now and since I'm looking up at him, I see tiny droplets on his hair, like tiny faceted diamonds. I'd giggle at this if it weren't for the look on his face. He looks older and so, so sad. Much like me, his week has been truly haunting, maybe even more than mine.

We're standing in front of each other, without touching, and I feel my body almost vibrating to touch him, slowly leaning towards him. I feel little prickles all over my skin, and I'm not sure if it's from the energy coursing between us or the raindrops hitting my skin.

My hands fidget at my sides, ready to reach out, to soothe his worries and erase those marks on his face. My body already recognizes his, inching just a little closer to him, even when he hasn't made a move to make contact with me. I want to feel those hands on me. I want them to love me for all the time spent apart this past week, and I want to be the one doing the same for him. I take inventory of his face and body. I can't believe he's here with me, and how much a week has changed him. From his worried face, I think he sees something similar in me.

I'm anxious and scared. Is he here because he couldn't wait one more week to be with me? Maybe something more?

I notice some movement between us and when I look down, I see his hands already reaching out for me. They look hesitant, going back and forth.

When I look up again and I see his face, I don't care why he's here. What's important is that he is here, for me. We have a lot to talk about and we will and whether we break up or move forward from this, he's facing things, not hiding anymore. This already proves that he's not going back to being the man he was when things happened with his wife.

He's braver than he thinks and he's changed once again.

So, I say the only thing that makes sense since seeing him standing under these lights.

"It's about time."

* * *

><p><strong>As if he could last those two weeks, pff.<strong>

**And yes, Bella does the talking this time. When I first thought about this story, for some reason this section always felt very Bella-like, maybe because seeing Charlie again was better this way? No idea. So, you'll get a few chapters from her POV and then we're back to EPOV until the end of the story, which is pretty close as it is.**

**I uploaded a few photos of things mentioned in this chapter, including of Marshall Park, something that I discovered while researching for Seattle. Yeah, I'm a research freak. You can see them here, in the 'Chapter 24' folder: **_s1083 (dot) photobucket (dot) com/albums/j400/choclover82/Little%20Buttons/_

**Next chapter… picks up right after this one.**

**Once again, thanks for stopping by and I'll see ya in two more weeks, pretty ladies.**


	25. Touches

**Hi there, pretty ladies.**

**Thanks for stopping by once again and sticking with these kids. At least he's in Seattle now, right? LOL.**

**Many thanks to my beta Songster for her help. :-)**

**I don't own Twilight.**

**Let's see what just happens now…**

O~o~O~LB~O~o~O

**'Touches'**

_When I look up again and I see his face, I don't care why he's here. What's important is that he is here, for me. We have a lot to talk about and we will and whether we break up or move forward from this, he's facing things, not hiding anymore. This already proves that he's not going back to being the man he was when things happened with his wife._

_He's braver than he thinks and he's changed once again._

_So, I say the only thing that makes sense since seeing him standing under these lights._

"_It's about time."_

And just like that, his face and body language change. He goes from being this man I could barely recognize: sad and tired and nervous; to the man I fell in love with: the hint of that smile I love and even a shine to his eyes.

He looks surprised by my words, but so relieved at the same time, his body visibly relaxing and coming a little closer to mine. All his features reflect that a weight has been lifted off his shoulders.

I want to cry; I want to laugh; I want to kiss him.

As he stands in front of me, I can see that this week must have been hell on him. I look up to his eyes and I can feel tears gathering at the look I find on his face: hope and fear. He looks so hopeful after hearing my words, like they've been the ones he's been waiting for. He probably was.

God knows what kind of scenarios must have been running through his head this past week, even when I told him that we were not breaking up. I can see now that actions speak louder than words and leaving him behind negated them.

He leans slightly closer to me, almost like it's impossible for him to stay even this much apart. His hands fidget at his sides and I can see he starts rocking slightly from side to side.

I feel the same way.

I also feel a tug pulling me to him. It's not unpleasant, but I can feel it pulling and pulling me towards him. Like a string around my heart tied to his.

I simply can't be away from him, and after a week on different continents, now that he's here, my heart recognizes this and wants to go back to what feels right, to what _is_ right: being with him.

His lips part a little, he seems to be struggling with what to say and do. I really don't care at this point what he says, all I want is to hear his voice one more time, live and clear without the use of a phone. Just as I think he might finally say something, he's the one surprising me with what comes out of his lips.

He laughs, loud and hard.

God, I've missed it, and I've missed _him_. Its sound vibrates in the space between us, making it almost like I can feel the waves on my skin. I've heard him laugh many times, but this is so much different than before: relieved with a hint of panic.

I'm surprised for a second, but the more he laughs, the more relaxed his body seems to get. His shoulders shake, and his hands run through his damp hair. He's letting everything out with it.

I'm so mesmerized by the look on his face and the sound of his laughter. Right now, it's the only thing I can hear around me; it even drowns the sound of the falling rain.

Edward throws his head back and raindrops fall on his face. He stays like that for a few moments, facing the sky, letting all the tension be washed away with the water that keeps increasing in intensity.

He looks so beautiful.

Slowly, his laughter dies and he runs his hands through his hair, moving his head to face me. When he does, he looks much more like the Edward I love.

"Bella," he says softly, reverently.

I have to close my eyes when I hear him say my name like that; like it's something so precious, it has to be worshiped. His voice always has that effect on me; he always says my name in a way that no one else does, making me feel loved and beautiful.

It's overwhelming, so much so that finally my tears start falling down my cheeks, mixing with the rain that's getting heavier and heavier. Much like his laughter was to him, these tears wash away the tension and sadness of the past week.

I still can't believe all of this happened to him, to _us_, and that we both had a part in it.

All the feelings of the week come flooding at once. Tears just don't stop falling and soon, sobs shake my body, making it impossible for me to stop them. I even close my eyes, trying to keep them from escaping, but I can't control it anymore.

A second later, I feel warmth surround me and my body instantly recognizes the body in front of me, and moves to fit with it: my arms go instantly around his waist, my face buries in his neck and the rest of my body just molds to his, touching every inch I can.

Even through his thick coat, I can feel _him_. Even with his damp skin, I can smell his scent. Even with the patter of rain around us, I can hear his low murmurs close to my ear. I can only hear a few words here and there, some in English and some in French, but it doesn't matter, it's the way he says them: they're promises and reassurances.

"I'm sorry," I sob and cling to him tightly.

"No, don't be. _I'm_ sorry for what I said and did." I feel his lips on the shell of my ear and feel the burn of his stubble on my skin.

His lips pepper my face with hot kisses against my cold and damp skin, and I do the same to his neck and jaw. Each kiss says 'I'm sorry' and 'I love you' and like always the connection is stronger than ever between us.

"Are we going to stand here all night, saying we're sorry to each other?" I laugh through the tears that still keep falling and keep my face close to him.

"Probably." He chuckles and holds me even closer.

It feels so good and familiar to be in his arms like this, almost like nothing has happened, so I let myself drown in that feeling for a few moments. There is so much to say and do but neither of us wants to acknowledge the talk that we need to have, we simply want to touch and feel each other, and avoid reality for a little longer.

My tears slowly start to ebb and then I feel something cold nudging my right cheek. I giggle when I realize that it's Edward's cold nose, running over my skin. This feels so silly and at the same time, very much like us. I move my head until I'm facing him and through my wet lashes, see him staring back at me.

His breaths come out in a fog, and his eyes are now fixed at my lips. I want him to kiss me.

Moving forward a little, I come closer to him and this time, unlike the first time we kissed, he knows what to do and goes for it first: his cold lips on mine, his hot mouth and his low grumble is all I can focus on. I don't want anything else; I don't _need_ anything else.

Just like every time we kiss, I want more of this. I want years and years of his kissing and his touching and fights and make-ups.

I want everything with him.

His hands are around my waist and mine in his hair and God, I don't even care that is pretty much pouring right now. Heat spreads through my body and when I whimper from all this contact, it's Edward who slowly stops the kiss. We separate and I keep my eyes closed, remembering over and over the kiss that just finished.

This was better than I remembered.

I feel his thumb running over my parted lips, and even this small contact makes me shiver.

"Come on, you're freezing. Let me take you home." I want to reply that it wasn't because I was cold, but when I open my eyes, he looks concerned and I remember that we're standing under the rain.

I nod as he pulls me to his side and rubs his hands on my arms.

"Why didn't you bring an umbrella?" he asks when we start to leave the park, his arm around my shoulder.

"Because I thought I'd only be here for a little while and the house is close." I shrug.

When I see that he knows the path toward the house, it hits me that he knew where to find me. I'd been so wrapped up in seeing him again; I hadn't noticed that he came here, to my park.

"How did you find me here?"

"Your Dad."

"My Dad told you I was at the park?" I can't say I'm that surprised about that, not after our talk at dinner.

"Yes." He runs one of his hands through his hair and looks kind of nervous. "I asked Alice for your Dad's address and after I got there, he…" His voice trails off.

Alice? She didn't mention anything to me about Edward coming here, and I do wonder how he convinced her to give him the address.

"What did Dad do?" I'm panicking now; maybe Dad was hard on him.

"He invited me in. All I wanted was to find you, and he said that he'd tell me where you were _after_ having a serious talk with me."

"What did he say?"

"Well, a lot." He sighs. "Basically, he was being a Dad taking care of his daughter. He loves you very much, Bella." I smile. "After that, he told me where you were, and as soon as that happened, I ran out the door to find you."

Before I can ask more questions, we're home.

I barely reach the door when it opens and a pissed off Dad is there with his arms crossed.

"What did I tell you about an umbrella, Isabella?" At least he didn't add the Swan part.

"I was going to come back before it started raining too hard, Dad." I feel like I'm ten years old, but at the same time, I love it that he cares about things like these.

He moves to let us in and we take off our boots and coats.

"Right. Well, I was going to give Edward an umbrella to take with him, but the boy took off before I could say anything. I swear if either one of you catches pneumonia…"

"Charlie, let them be." Dad only grumbles when he hears Sue's voice. "Now, you two, go change out of those clothes and then come down to dinner." She comes over with a couple of towels for us.

"And Edward, we left your bags in the guestroom."

"Yeah, the room _far_ away down the hall." Dad points out.

I look back at Edward. His bags?

"I came directly from the airport. I didn't want to wait another minute," he whispers, when he sees my face.

I take his hand and lead him upstairs. I can feel Dad watching us, probably eager to check that Edward doesn't go into my room.

I show him to his room and I giggle when he doesn't look too happy that he can't follow me to mine.

An hour later, dinner is a little tense, but Dad is polite and Sue directs the conversation mostly toward the wedding, so we're soon much more relaxed. It also helps that Dad talked to Edward earlier, so any pressure is off for the moment. I'm sure Dad will want to talk to the both of us at some point.

I also learn that Sue will spend most of tomorrow getting things ready for the rehearsal dinner later that night, and Dad will be finishing some last minute paperwork at his office. He was pissed about that.

That leaves almost the entire day all to Edward and me, and that thought makes me giddy and nervous at the same time.

After everyone goes to their rooms, I try to sleep but after an hour of tossing in bed, I can't settle. Just knowing that Edward is a few feet away is enough to make my body want to move in that direction.

So I do.

Slowly, I open the door to my room and walk down the hall to his. I debate about knocking, but the sounds of the rain will muffle them, so why bother.

Just as I'm about to reach his door, I see a shadow to my right, near Dad and Sue's bedroom. I stop myself from making noise; I'm nervous about it being Dad. How do I explain this? The shadow moves closer into the light from outside, and then I can see who it is,.It's Sue, holding a glass of water in her hand.

I'm relieved and a little embarrassed; I've never done this. I know she won't tell Dad, but still.

She chuckles and shakes her head, but after a wink my way, she turns towards her room. This is so embarrassing, but now that I'm caught, I might as well just go with it.

When Edward hears me closing his door behind me, he turns to face me. Just with the faint lights from outside, I can see his bright eyes staring back at me.

"I couldn't sleep," I confess, as I approach him. I feel a little shy about it, but I need him as much as he needs me. We've been constantly touching since the park: holding hands and exchanging little kisses here and there.

After he extends his hand towards me, inviting me to join him in bed, I settle next to him, feeling much better now that our bodies are touching, without all those thick clothes from before. His arm is around my shoulders, his free hand holding mine and I once again settle my face against his neck.

"Won't your Dad check on us tomorrow morning?" he whispers.

"He'll be up really early, so he won't wake us up. And Sue sort of saw me coming here, so maybe she'll steer him in another direction."

"Sue saw you?" I giggle hearing him sound a little panicked and I when I kiss his cheek, I feel his heated skin under my lips.

"Are you blushing, Edward Cullen?"

"Bella," he groans, clearly more embarrassed now.

"Edward." I mimic his tone. "If you want, I could leave and then see you tomorrow." He will have none of that; his arm pulls me closer.

Much like before, all I want to do is simply revel in the fact that he's here with me at this moment. I don't want to worry about anything else. I know we have much to talk about, but that can come later.

I look up and see his eyes on me.

"What?" I ask.

"It feels like more than a week since I held you like this in my arms. I can't believe we're here now."

"I know." I run my fingertips over the skin under his eyes. He looks so tired.

"Sleep," I repeat and kiss him softly.

"I'm scared to close my eyes, and then wake up to find you not here."

"That won't happen again, Edward." My voice breaks. I hate that he's scared.

"Why didn't you stay a little longer with me?" It's barely a whisper. He sounds hurt, but his voice is not accusatory, he's really curious about it.

I sigh and rest my cheek against his chest, looking up at him, I want to see his face.

"I was _so_ scared, Edward, not only for you and what was happening, but for myself too." I take a big breath. "It hurt so bad to hear you say that you doubted me, that you thought I was being less than honest with you. Even for a second." I close my eyes. "I understood, I really did, but it hurt as well. Just hearing you say those things scared me, it utterly scared the crap out of me."

"Why?"

"Because it reminded me of a time when I was also being accused of things that I didn't do." I open my eyes and look back at him again. "With Jake, I always had to defend my actions and account for my whereabouts. When I heard you say those things about me and James, it was too much. I love you, you have no idea how much, but I couldn't be with someone who not only blames me for things others did, but also doesn't trust me, when all I do is trust _you_, Edward."

Through my words, his face started changing. He went from curious to hurt to devastated.

"Bella, I would never be like Jake. Never." His other hand now runs through his hair.

"I know that, but I could say the same about me not being like Renata, yet you still believed it for a second. It was our first fight and we'd been so happy until then, barely disagreeing about anything. I think neither of us was really prepared for something like that. We both let our past dictate our actions at that moment, and judged each other. I see that I did the same thing you did to me: I judged you because of someone else's actions. I feel so ashamed for that, Edward." It had taken spending some time alone and away from him to see these things.

"You went back to acting like you did with Renata, and I acted the exact opposite than I did with Jake, by running away from the situation." With Jake, I would've put up with it just to avoid confrontation.

We're both silent for a while, with only the sound of the rain filling the room, thinking about everything that had happened and the words I just said. We both handled things so badly, neither knew just what to do. We hadn't had a serious relationship in years and as soon as something threatened what we had, we panicked.

"I understand and I hate myself for reminding you of Jake, I hate it." He sounds frustrated with himself. "I've hated myself for hurting you all this past week, but now I see that you were dealing with other things as well."

"Don't hate yourself, please. I should've talked to you sooner, but it was here in Seattle that I realized all of this. You have no idea how many times I've thought about taking a flight back to Paris, because the phone just would not do."

I'm crying, and he's holding me and that makes me cry even harder.

"Shh. I'm here now and we have time to talk about this." He rocks me so softly for a few minutes.

I know there is much to talk about still, but I'm glad at least something is out there. I know thoughts about us would keep him up all night if we hadn't talked about some of it, the uncertainty would've been too much.

"What did my Dad say to you when you got here, exactly?" I change the subject, trying to make him talk about other things and help lull him to sleep. He looks exhausted.

"That he loves you and wants the best for you and as much as he wanted to kick my ass for making his daughter cry and be sad on her first trip to Seattle in years, he couldn't. Apparently, I looked like shit and that only proved to him how much I hated being apart from you, so I must love the hell out of you." He yawns and chuckles.

"You do look like shit, you know," I tease, but it's true, he does.

"Thanks. I like him, by the way, and Sue seems nice too. She makes a great peach cobbler." His words are slurred, and I smile now that he's relaxed enough to sleep.

"On good days, she makes her own ice cream to go with the cobbler."

"Oh man, now I'm gonna have to stay for that." He says more things and now I don't understand him.

"Go to sleep. I'll be here when you wake up."

"M'kay." He doesn't fight me this time and a minute later, he's gone.

I press my cheek to his chest and let myself go following his calm breathing and the beat of his heart. I'm out before I know it.

O~o~O~LB~O~o~O

It was amazing waking up to Edward's warm body wrapped around mine this morning. I had to giggle when I noticed that we were in the same position we always are when we sleep together. Our bodies know where to go: his legs tangled with mine, not letting me move; his arms around my body; and his face either buried on my neck or my boobs.

It was boobs this time.

When he woke up, he looked confused for a moment, as he looked around the room, but then he gave me this beautiful but tired smile. I ran my hands through his hair and seeing him lean towards my hand almost made me cry all over again.

We're now sitting at the kitchen table, holding hands, drinking coffee and smiling at each other behind our mugs. We're idiots, but I don't care.

We haven't said much, just little words here and there about how much we love each other or how soft or warm the other one is. It's small and almost insignificant things, but this is us.

Edward lives his life with his senses working overtime. He always sees more than the rest: sight, taste, touch, sounds, everything works overtime with him.

I know it gets tiresome for him sometimes, feeling all of this all the time, but that's who he is and that makes him good at his job. That's why I know that leaving him little surprises throughout the day, to indulge all of this, makes him smile. I leave short notes hidden in his pockets for him to find later; or a shirt with my perfume in his dresser; sometimes I leave a few _macarons_ on his microwave that I know he'll see when he goes to heat up something.

I love that side of him; it's part of who he is. I only try to give him peace at the end of the day and let his mind rest. It doesn't always work though, he often says his time with me inspires him and then he starts sketching.

"What do you want to do today? We have time before the rehearsal dinner," I ask him. We can stay here and talk, no one will interrupt us, or we can go out and I can show him the city.

"Oh, you still want me to go?" He asks a little hesitant.

"Of course I do. I want you at the wedding with me, and tonight, you can meet some of the family. I haven't seen them in so long, even before going to Paris." I'm anxious to see my little cousins; they must be so big right now.

"Well, if you want me to, then I'll be there." He smiles and I smile and then we're back to eating our breakfast.

In the end, we decide to go out for lunch and come back mid-afternoon to get ready for the dinner.

Hand in hand, we walk around downtown. This time we took an umbrella. I'd never hear the end of it from Dad if we didn't, and with our rain boots, thick gloves and scarves, we wander the city. I show Edward my favorite spots to draw or simply hang out: where they serve the best ice cream or the best hamburger; and where to get some of the things our friends asked us to bring back to Paris.

We end up having lunch at a seafood restaurant, on the Seattle waterfront, with a great view of the city and the bay. Too bad it's raining, even if it's considerably less than when we left the house, we could've enjoyed a better view.

The restaurant is also very beautiful, with a lot of the tables close to the bay windows. I make a note to invite Dad, Sue and Seth before leaving Seattle. At night, this side of the city is beautiful and lively; Edward will love it.

After convincing him to try a few items on the menu, I discover that Edward is not a fan of seafood. At all. I laugh at the faces he makes when he sees my plate.

There seems to be always something new to learn from each other, even a simple fact such as this.

By the time we're done with lunch, the rain is barely a drizzle, so we decide that it's okay for a short walk before going back to the house.

Not many people are around. Not only is it raining, but also it's a Friday afternoon and I'm sure most people are at work. It's nice like this actually, just the two of us walking hand in hand under the umbrella.

"I talked to my lawyer on Friday. James will be charged with intellectual property theft. I have dates and proof that the designs he has were mine in the first place and with Jane's confession, it's enough to sink him," Edward says all of a sudden, without looking at me. I'm surprised for a second.

"I won't let him get away like I did two years ago. I won't give him what he wants this time. I'm done hiding from him." He sounds so sure about this. I'm proud that he won't hide and that he'll actually fight back.

"I- I wanted to go to his studio and beat the hell out of him, but Rose stopped me from doing it. She said it would make things worse for me. I don't know, I still want to punch him." He laughs humorlessly. I know the feeling of wanting to punch the asshole.

"You saw Rose?" I ask. Pride wells up in my chest that he didn't push her away.

"Yeah, she was just as surprised as you are now. I…" He takes a breath and thinks about his words. "I don't want to be alone anymore, Bella. The way I acted two years ago still haunts me, and I couldn't let that happen again. Not pushing my family away is the one promise I was able to keep in this clusterfuck."

I squeeze his hand and my eyes fill with tears.

"I went to see Mom and Dad and they were beyond pissed at James. I've never seen Mom this mad. They want to help any way they can; they are already in contact with some lawyer friend of theirs." We stop and he pulls me to him. "This is how they would've protected me years ago, had I let them. I can't take that away from them this time, and I don't want to. I want them on my side.

"Mom and I talked, and I told her about the way things ended up with us. She suggested that I see someone to talk about this. I've been doing well so far and she's proud of that, but there is only so much one person can handle, and our fight shows that I seemed to have reached my limit. I think I want to do that."

For him to accept that he needs help, and that he can't control everything is a big step.

I lift my gloved hand and touch his cheek. I feel so proud of him.

"I think it's a good idea, Edward." He nods.

We stare at the water, and under the umbrella, it truly feels like being inside a little bubble.

I really think talking to someone outside of his family and friends will be a good thing for him. He'll hear an impartial opinion and maybe finally stop blaming himself for Renata's death.

I also think back to our fight and what I told him last night about Jake. Maybe it would be a good idea for me to talk to someone as well. I don't want this to happen again; I don't want to hurt him or myself.

"Is this what _you_ really want? Or is it something you think others want you to do?" I only want him to do this for himself.

He looks down at me and a tiny smile pulls at his lips.

"Yes, _I_ want this. You were right; I've been so focused on us that I forgot about me in the process. If I want us to work, which I do, I also have to be okay with myself. I want to talk to someone and learn not to obsess over everything."

I look up at him; his face looks so at peace with this decision. I can see that he truly looks sincere about it. He's not saying it because he thinks it's is what others want to hear. _He_ wants this.

"Good, I want that too. No matter what, I want you to be okay, with or without me, Edward." I don't want to be without him, but I want him to be okay on his own as well.

"I know. It hurt when you said it last week, like you were giving up on us for a second, but I see what you mean now." He leans down until our foreheads are touching. "I love you, Bella, like no one before. I don't want to live without you ever again, but if I have to, I see that I'm not alone and that I _can_ survive, as hard as that would be. God, it would be hard. There are so many ways you've changed my life, all for the better, and all of that will always stay with me, whether we're together or apart.

"This past week was also some sort of test on that. As much as I hated being apart from you, I could barely sleep and eat. It also showed me that I have family and friends with me too."

"You do."

"I do. Emmett was pissed at me for making you cry. Alice told him about the fight, and he wanted to kick my ass for hurting his 'sister'." He shakes his head.

Emmett, that big, sweet, overprotective oaf.

"However, that didn't mean that he was going to stop being my friend. He was very protective about me over the James thing, and he even semi-kiddingly offered to kill him on my behalf… as did Jasper."

Jasper, thank God he thinks before acting. He must have seen things from Edward's perspective as well.

"He wasn't happy about me making you cry either, and Alice was ready to kill me, but they ended up listening to my story and gave me input. God, Bella, I can't thank you enough for introducing me to them. They're great friends."

"Yes, they are." I smile, they truly are. I knew they'd be on my side, but I also knew they'd listen to Edward's side of the story.

"So you weren't alone this past week?" I hate that image.

"Not really. I was at work, settling things and talking to lawyers and whatnot, but I was also at Mom's where we talked about this.

"The only one I really wanted with me was you though, so I decided to come and see where things stood. The phone calls were hardly enough, but I did love hearing your voice and just knowing you were there."

Great – now, I cry again.

I'm glad he wasn't alone. He doesn't deserve it, which leads to more tears on my part, because I could've been there too.

"Don't cry, pretty girl." He kisses my eyelids. "I'm not mad about this and I really think it was best this way. It was awful timing for the both of us, but I really needed to stay and you really needed to come here. I never could've told you to put the trip to your Dad's on hold."

I hug him hard, so hard that my arms and hands start feeling numb after a while.

"We're okay, we're okay." he says, and I hold on to those words, because I realize that we are, we are okay after this.

"I love you." I move up and kiss him desperately. He gives the same back.

It was a good thing to step away and think over things. It hurt and I will not do it again, but if it meant we're better now, it was worth it.

"Bella?" He asks against my lips.

"Hmm?"

"There is something more, but I have to show it to you. It's at the house." He steps away and sounds so sad all of a sudden.

"It's not bad, I promise, but it's important." I nod, what could be so important? With a last quick peck to my lips, we head home.

O~o~O~LB~O~o~O

"Do you really want me to read it?" My hands are shaking.

After we got home and made some coffee, we settled in my room to talk. Edward came back with an envelope and sat down in front of me.

He told me about the package from Marcus, and how much it's been taunting him since he got it. He has been struggling with opening up the letter Renata left after all this time. The fact that he didn't tell me when he got the box really shows that there are still things from his past keeping him from moving forward.

I wasn't mad or anything. I was just sad that he had been struggling about what to do with Renata's things and the letter.

In the end, it was actually reading it that gave him the very last push to come here to Seattle to see me.

"Yes, please. Read it."

Edward paces in front of me, and by the time I finish reading it, tears fall freely down my cheeks.

"Edward, this is-"

"Beautiful."

I nod; there are no words. This is the most beautiful love letter I have ever read and knowing it was sent by the woman who betrayed him, to the disgusting man that James is, leaves me overwhelmed with feelings. I love the letter, but I hate them.

"It's like she put into paper the exact same feelings I have for you, Bella. Every single line is perfect and pure, and not the Renata I knew." He sounds so hurt.

"I always thought that she was with James because she was greedy and wanted more than I could give her. I always saw her as the cold woman who helped James, but reading _that_-" He waves his hand to the letter. "She loved him, Bella. She really _loved_ him."

I nod, still staring at the letter.

"She didn't screw with me because she hated me or because she cared nothing about me; she did it out of love for James. And –and I can't say that I wouldn't do anything you ever asked of me." That last part was said as a whisper, almost as if he was ashamed of his confession.

"I'd never ask you to do something illegal."

"I know, but I'd do anything for you. Renata did the same for James, and now this letter changes everything I thought about her. It was easier to see her as a cold bitch, but actually as a woman in love? I can't wrap my mind around that."

I don't know what to say. I didn't know her and apparently, neither did Edward.

"Did he love her?" James doesn't look like the 'loving' type.

"I have no idea. The letter doesn't say anything like that. But if he did, why didn't he stay with her after we divorced? Why was she with her parents instead of with him? I just don't know what happened between them." He stops by the window.

"She died alone, Bella." He chokes.

I move from my bed and run to hug him. He can't blame himself for this.

"There is much more to this story with James than you thought, Edward. Things you didn't know." Maybe things that can help him move on.

This is so much for him, going from viewing this woman under one light and now changing that perspective. I still think that her actions were awful, no matter why she did it: out of love or simple malice. She should've ended things with Edward and going to James, even if he didn't return her feelings.

She might've loved James very much, but still, loving someone doesn't make her actions okay.

"You shouldn't feel sorry for her or what happened, Edward. More than ever, this proves that what she did was awful. She loved James, but she still didn't have the balls to leave you and go to him." I shake my head. "Love is brave, Edward, it's all or nothing, you just don't settle." I hate that to her, Edward was second best.

He stays silent, with his ehad on my shoulder. I know he's going over everything and trying to make sense of things. He's probably been doing this since he read the letter.

"I think–" I can't believe I'm saying this. "I think maybe you should go and see James in person. Maybe you'll finally know what the hell really happened."

He stiffens in my arms.

"Maybe," he whispers. "I'll have to– I'll have to think about it."

I nod. If nothing else, maybe a good punch in the face to James might do him well.

I pull him to my bed and we lay in there, again wrapped around each other with small touches, soft whispers and long silences in between. There is so much to think about, and this is just day one of his visit here.

I can't stop thinking about the letter though. As much as I hate Renata, her words were beautiful and perfect, just about every feeling I have for Edward put into paper. It's impossible for me to wrap my mind around the fact that this is the woman who hurt him.

"How long are you staying here in Seattle? Do you have to go back to work on Monday?" I don't want him to go.

"No. I had gotten things ready for this trip. Remember? I'm not leaving Seattle without you, Bella."

"Good." I nod and kiss his cheek.

"This is a new look for you, you know." For some reason the burn of his stubble doesn't bother me so much.

"Yeah, sorry. I'll shave for tonight." He tries to pull away.

"No!" I roll my eyes at my obvious eagerness. "Don't. I like it. It's kinda sexy."

He groans and rolls on top of me, tickling me with his facial hair.

"You're crazy. Stop it." I try to wiggle out of his grasp.

"You're the one with the beard fetish."

"I am not!" Okay, maybe I am. Who knows?

We spend the rest of the afternoon in bed, most of the time simply staring or touching each other, trying to figure out if there have been physical changes in the last week: a new wrinkle, a new freckle.

There are still things to face for the both of us, things to talk about and do, but after today, everything looks and feels much better. And after this week apart, the future with Edward, once again, is getting clearer and clearer.

* * *

><p><strong>And there ya go, the 0.2 seconds of drama in this story. ;-) Now all we need is Edward punching James and we're set to end this.<strong>

**As you can see, there have been three weeks since the last update and the next one will probably take that long. I'm just working on it and with my job kicking my ass (I swear I only see my bed at the end of the day, lol), I can only work on them over the weekends. But fear not, this story will be finished. As it is, there will be 27 chapters plus an epi, so of course this will be finished, you've been with me for a year! Oh man.**

**Next chapter… a wedding and a little time with the family.**

**Thanks again for reading and I hope everything is okay with you. Love, and I'll see ya soon.**


	26. Beginnings

**Hi there, girls.**

**Yeah, I suck, I know. A month since the last update! Oh, man. So sorry for the delay, just know that I'm finishing the next chapter and will be sending it to my beta this weekend *crossing fingers***

**Many thanks to my beta Songster for her help in this and the million words I send her way.**

**I don't own Twilight. We know.**

**Now let's see if this was worth the wait…**

O~o~O~LB~O~o~O

**´Beginnings'**

"What do you think of these?" I turn and show Edward my earrings.

He's standing in front of the mirror, attempting to fix his crooked tie. He looks so frustrated and adorable, narrowing his eyes to it, like the tie is doing that on purpose. It makes me smile to see his cute mannerisms again and to simply have him here with me.

Today, he's wearing a tuxedo for the wedding, and even though I've seen him wearing one before, the sight of his broad shoulders and strong arms under that perfectly fitted suit still makes me sigh and want to reach out to him.

How could wearing a tuxedo be so damn sexy?

It doesn't help that with Edward everything looks sexy… and not just to me.

I shake my head remembering last night's rehearsal dinner with my family and how much everyone fell in love with him.

After all the introductions were made, a million questions came from aunts and cousins about my life in Paris and how Edward and I met. It was fun and the more I talked about it, the more excited I got about what my future in Paris might bring.

All the while, I felt Edward's touch on me: a little graze of his fingers on my shoulder, a soft squeeze of his hand on my hip, a light kiss on my temple. They all made me sigh and smile secretly, as they reminded me of our nights together. From the happy smiles I got from Sue, it's safe to say that everyone noticed how happy Edward made me.

He also regaled my family with stories about Paris and our outings throughout the city. I have to admit that I fell a little bit more in love with him while listening to those stories, it was so different hearing them from his point of view and get a glimpse into his mind.

I had to giggle when I noticed so many women sighing dreamily, or so many men rolling their eyes when they heard his stories.

Much as I thought, everyone had fallen in love with him.

It's incredible to see how charming this man in front of me can be when he doesn't have to. I've seen photos of him from previous events and there was often something missing in his smile, it looked polite but not entirely real. It's not the smile he gives his family; it's not the smile he gives to _me_.

He wanted to make a good impression last night, but it wasn't forced somehow… it was just Edward meeting his girlfriend's family.

A soft giggle escapes me then I think of the word girlfriend, making Edward look at me from the reflection on the mirror.

I'm such a girl sometimes.

With Edward, it's hard not the be such a girl though, he's always doing or saying things that make my heart beat faster, my skin tingle or my body lean closer to his. Like last night, when he simply couldn't take his eyes off of me.

Every time I looked his way, he was staring at me with a smile on his face; every time I went to save him from one of my aunts, I heard him talking about me in such a way it took my breath away.

Love. You could feel it vibrating through every word he said. He makes me feel so revered all the time.

I wasn't the only one who noticed. Several times during dinner, I was stopped by one of my female relatives and told how lucky I was to have someone like Edward in my life.

It wasn't a mean-spirited comment of how a guy like Edward could notice _me_. I'm not that insecure, I know he's good looking, but I also know that at the end of the day, he spends his nights with me and no one else. No, my family's comments were more to point out that I was lucky to have someone, no matter how he looked, who loved as strongly as Edward did.

I know I'm lucky and loved and I plan on showing him how I feel, every day for the rest of our lives.

"They're great; they'll go with your dress." He faces me after giving up on his tie, which looks even more crooked for some reason.

"That's what I thought, thanks." I kiss his lips and turn to put the earrings on.

Today is the first time Edward's seeing what I'm wearing for the wedding. I never showed him back in Paris. I like to surprise him and see right on the spot what his reactions would be.

I chose a long, sleeveless blue silk dress, with ruffles cascading down the skirt. I just loved how it moved when I walked. The dress has a thin strap on my left shoulder and a ruffled one on my right one; something that I chose even when I knew the weather here wouldn't be very warm. Since I knew everything would be held indoors, I didn't worry too much about it. I'd just bring a long coat to wear outside.

I wasn't disappointed about Edward's reactions when he couldn't decide between letting his eyes roam my body or leaning forward and touching me for himself. Touching won.

"Come here." I laugh and pull him to me to fix his tie.

I redo the entire knot and without looking at his face, I know his eyes are fixed on me. That tingle on my skin is always present when we're in the same room. Even more so when his eyes are on me, and not only do I blush as usual, but I also find it impossible to stop smiling.

"Stop that." I say, laughing this time, without looking at him.

"What? I'm not doing anything, just standing here while you fix my tie." He nudges my hip with his hand and even _he_ doesn't believe what he says, his own chuckles give him away.

"You know, I think your dress is missing something." He says in a serious tone.

I finish his tie and turn to look at myself in the mirror. I see nothing wrong with it, the accessories look fine and I think the color is pretty.

"What do you mean? Maybe it needs something more? I'll be wearing a coat, but only for a little while." What did I miss?

"No, nothing like that. I think I know what might be missing."

I turn as he reaches for something in his pocket, a small black velvet bag.

"You're the best man today and I know that had you known that before, you would've wanted to wear something different." I giggle thinking about that girly tuxedo I considered when Dad asked me to be his best man. Of course Edward's right, it would've been fun to wear something different.

"However, that doesn't mean you can't have something to make it official that you're the best man."

"Yeah, because standing beside my Dad isn't going to be a dead giveaway."

He rolls his eyes as he opens the little bag and, taking my hand, he lets something drop into my palm.

I laugh when I see it.

"I saw it while you were distracted talking to the owner of the antique store."

"Oh, sneaky you."

He bought me a bow tie pin, a small bow tie pin with little black diamonds.

"May I?" he asks and takes the pin when I nod.

He moves closer and I feel his hands on me while he secures the pin above my right breast. It doesn't matter that there is a layer of fabric between us, I close my eyes and it's almost like I'm naked under his touch, his hands roaming slowly over my body as they do when we're in bed. I want to moan and sigh and touch him back.

I feel myself blush under the dress, my hands itching to reach out.

When I open my eyes and look up at his face and notice his little smirk, I know he's letting his hand stay on me just a little longer than necessary.

"I think the pin is secure enough, _Monsieur_ Cullen." I try to sound normal and unaffected but it's really pointless.

"I just wanted to make sure, _Mademoiselle_ Swan. You know how _thorough_ I am." Damn this man, I sure know of his thoroughness.

I lean forward, pressing myself into his front, while my lips start moving slowly towards his mouth and my hands move to rest on his hips. I can feel his minty breath on my face and how his chest moves against my breasts. I smile inwardly as I notice how his breathing is becoming more labored.

"Oh yes, I do know." When he leans down to kiss me, I turn my face. "And because of that, I also know that we don't have time for that thoroughness you speak of."

With great effort, I move out of his reach to retrieve my coat, gloves and clutch and laugh when I hear him whine from behind me.

"Bella."

"Best man, Edward, best man. I can't be late." I squeal when he catches me just as I'm about to make it to the stairs.

"That was mean, Bella."

"Look who's talking." I snort.

I turn and my eyes go instantly to his lips. I love those lips;,they're perfect. I debate between going forward and pressing my mouth to them or backing away and heading out to the wedding.

I sigh. Who are we kidding? We'll just be a little late.

His lips are soft, his mouth hot against mine, and that amazing minty scent is now more pronounced. How I love his mouth.

The rest of my body feels hot as well and my hands just take on life of their own as they move up his chest to grab at the lapels of his jacket, bringing him closer and closer. I think I dropped what I was carrying at some point.

I feel his fingers moving up and down the skin of my back, leaving tiny prickles in their wake. His movements are so slow, it's frustrating, but his hands feel so good against my heated skin, I just don't want them to break contact. He can go as slow as he wants if we just stay like this.

All I want now is to take off his jacket and my dress and feel him pressed against me. The thought makes me whimper against his mouth. I simply forget about everything except him.

However, that little whimper seems to bring Edward back to reality, stopping our kisses and slowing down his touches.

"Bella, we _really_ have to go." He pants and rests his forehead against mine.

"I know, I know." Of course I know. What is it with us and the inability to get ready to go out in a timely manner?

"This is going to be a long day." He squeezes my hip.

I just have to agree, a damn long day.

O~o~O~LB~O~o~O

"Nervous?" I ask Dad as we wait for Sue to walk down the aisle.

Edward and I arrived with just enough time to say hi to people and get him settled in his seat. He's between two of my favorite aunts, who simply won't stop talking about this and that. They've always been so chatty.

He smiles politely and nods at them, and from time to time he looks my way and winks at me. My aunts notice that too and giggle like schoolgirls at the display.

"A little." Dad shrugs. "It's not like she'll leave me here at the altar, but I guess every groom is nervous on their wedding day."

"Well, she'll be here any minute now and you'll get to call her your wife from here on." I fix his tie, just because I want to do something with my hands. I feel tears in my eyes, I'm just too happy for him and Sue.

"Hey, hey. I'm the one who's getting married. Shouldn't my best man be all calm and collected?" He smiles and puts his hands on my shoulders.

"I know, I'm just so happy for you guys. I'm being a terrible best man crying at your wedding. I didn't even throw you a bachelor's party," I whine and now the tears fall.

"Bella, you're the best best man I could ever hoped for." He wipes the tears. "Besides Seth, there is no one I would've even considered taking this job. I'm happy you came; Sue is beyond thrilled about it. I only care that you're here, not that you gave me a bachelor's party and those tears?" He kisses my forehead. "They're happy tears, how could that be a bad thing?"

I hug him and cry a little more. These have been such emotional days.

When I lean back, he hands me a handkerchief and while I wipe my face carefully, I realize that I've been crying in front of everyone here. Of course I have to blush at this.

When my eyes reach Edward, he looks concerned and ready to stand up and come to me, but I give him a little smile and a head-shake, letting him know that I'm okay. He reluctantly nods, but keeps his eyes on me.

"He's been watching you all the time, that boy. I thought he was going to jump up over your aunts and come here. _They_ even looked worried." Dad says as I hand him the handkerchief back.

"I bet, but they're strong. They would've stopped him." I laugh.

Right then, the music starts and we all turn to watch Sue walk down the aisle.

"It's show-time, Dad. Good luck." I kiss his cheek and he pretty much forgets about me when he sees Sue.

She looks even more beautiful than before, with her make-up and hair done and a pretty smile, but most of all, she looks utterly happy and that gives her a glow that compares to nothing else. Seth stands next to her and I want to laugh at the way he walks towards us, like _he's_ the center of attention. He even waves at a couple of relatives.

We've all turned to watch them walk towards us, except for one person: Edward. I know he's looking at me just by feeling that familiar tingle on my skin.

I turn and like I thought, his eyes are on me. He winks, making me smile; he's teasing, but there's something more as well. There is a glint in his eyes that I haven't seen before today; it makes his green eyes look so bright and big. He looks sort of eager and so very happy, almost like there is a secret he wants to share and he can't wait for it.

All of a sudden, something flashes across his face, his eyes get even brighter and even his smile morphs, becoming bigger. He looks certain about something and I can't wait to ask him about what.

It becomes harder to focus on anything else after that, he looks just so damn different and thank God the wedding is not that long, because I was sure I might miss something important if I kept staring at Edward.

The vows are beautiful and after they are declared husband and wife, we move to the reception venue next door where Edward is waiting for me at the entrance.

"Hey there, handsome. Looking for a hot date at this wedding?" I peck his lips.

"Well, they _do_ say that weddings are a great place to meet women. Maybe I'll get lucky tonight. Aunt Pearl _has_ been giving me lustful looks since yesterday, you know?"

"Really? Well, she does bake this great chocolate cake. You might get a hot date _and_ food at the end of the day." I giggle thinking about Aunt Pearl; she's 72 and handsy.

We move to the Emerald room from the Hall at Fauntleroy. It's beautifully decorated with dark red drapes lining the large windows, matching the red of the brick walls. The rest of the room is decorated in gold and cream colors on the tables and chairs, and flowers are everywhere, just like Sue wanted. Since it's daytime, there is natural light enveloping the room coming from the windows, where we also get a view of the gardens.

Nothing ruins the mood for anyone, not even the soft rain that has started falling. It's actually very beautiful and will make for some pretty photos a little later with the wedding party.

"Come on, I'm getting hungry," Edward says as he leads me to our table.

From then on, the reception is happy and everyone seems to be having a good time. The food is amazing, the music is beautiful, and a little later, with Edward clutching my hand, I'm able to give my speech without much crying. For the most part.

We talk and take pictures, some silly ones with my family and some with just me and Edward. I can't wait to see them, I want to remember the happy look on his face. I was right in the end, the photos with the rain as a backdrop looked beautiful, the rain actually made them look brighter.

"So, are you having fun?" Dad asks me, hours later, as we dance.

Edward is dancing with Sue, and he's laughing at something she said. He's shaking his head at her and I smile when I notice that those crinkles at the corner of his eyes are back again. He looks so young when he smiles. From where we are, I hear his laughter and I can't believe that even its simple sound makes me all tingly.

"Yeah, I liked seeing everyone again and catching up with the family. Did you know that Aunt Pearl has email now? She says she chats with her boyfriends, as in plural, Dad." I laugh; Edward would just be a boy toy to her.

"I know, don't remind me," Dad groans.

"But yeah, Dad, I'm having fun and everything has been beautiful. Sue did a great job with the party."

"I know; she did it all." His eyes wander to his wife.

I smile and we keep dancing.

"That boy loves you," he says. Simple. True.

"And I love him." Again, simple and true.

"He's family now. There is no way that boy is going to be out of our lives now."

I take a breath and think back to my time with Edward these past weeks. How many plans we've made for the future, how certain we've been that those plans would become a reality. For a while now there has been no doubt that we'd be together, that we'd be family, partners, lovers.

It was so scary to see a crack in those plans in our time apart, that there might be the slight chance they wouldn't become a reality or that they would change drastically, for the worst.

I look at Edward and now he's dancing with one of my little cousins. She's so smitten by him.

We still have to talk about things, but it's not a dreaded conversation, it's simply something we have to do.

"I know," I say just as Edward looks my way.

"Good Lord, girl, you're too far gone. Go get your boy, and we'll talk when Sue and I get back from our honeymoon. I wanna have a few words with you two."

"Dad, please-"

"Bella, I know you're a grown woman who can make her own decisions. You love him; he loves you. It's done. He's been here two days and I've seen you smile more in those days than in the week you've been with us." I smile sadly at him. I had been an awful daughter to him. "We all see that he makes you happy, and God knows the guy can't keep his eyes away from you.

"It doesn't mean that I don't worry about you though. You look better, but I want to say a few things to the both of you. I told you before you are by far the one that I care about the most. I just want to talk to you two; that's all. Nothing bad."

"Oh, Daddy." I hug him tightly. I know it's not like he can forbid me to see Edward if he doesn't approve, but having him say these words means more than anything. I've put him through so much with my love life, first Jake and my move to Paris, and then Edward and the fact that I've been moping around the house.

"Now, off you go. He looks weird hovering, waiting for us to stop dancing." He kisses the top of my head and leaves to find his wife. The next second, I feel warm arms hugging me from behind.

"Hey, are you okay?" He rests his head on my shoulder, kissing it.

"Yeah, I'm just all emotional. Being the best man is a hard job, Edward." He chuckles and I turn in his arms, facing him.

The music changes, and we sway to the soft notes. He feels so good and warm and smells amazing, all sugary and spicy. This is the first time we've really had to ourselves today with all the interruptions. At least he hasn't stopped touching me any chance he gets.

"Did I tell you that you look beautiful today?" he asks after a while.

"Actually, several times already." He has and I feel so pretty when he says the words.

"Several times? That's it? Pff, I'm losing my touch then. You look beautiful in that dress."

"Thank you. You look great in that tux."

I rest my head on his chest, so close that I feel his heartbeat against my cheek. His arms are at my back and mine circle his waist. I'm suddenly very tired and I want nothing more than to lie in bed with him.

"Are you okay, Bella? I mean, I saw you cry earlier, at the ceremony, with Charlie. You're not upset, right?" I smile against his chest. I knew he'd ask about that at some point.

"No, I was just being all weird. I'm happy for them. Did you see how Dad looked at Sue when she walked down the aisle? Like no one else existed." He loves her so much.

I close my eyes and remember the look he gave Mom all those years ago. He adored her. Whenever he walked into a room and she was there, he'd kissed her. At the time I thought it was weird. None of my friends' parents behaved that way, but in time it just set high standards for me and future relationships.

He was devastated when Mom died, and I think a part of him will never heal from that pain. It was in the way he looked at me sometimes, like I was the only thing left of her. It was painful to accept for a while, but then it got better and he often was the one who initiated talks about Mom and how much I reminded him of her.

Now, the look he gives Sue is full of love, but different. I think he loves both of them, just in a different way. One was his past and gave him a daughter; the other one is his future and gave him back his happiness.

"Well, according to your aunts, I look at you very 'dreamily' as well." I feel him chuckle.

"Sorry about that, they _are_ very chatty, but I thought they'd make nice company at the ceremony." And they thought Edward was great company as well.

"They were and they also had tons of stories about young Bella."

"They didn't!" I look up and when I see his face, I know they did.

"Oh yes they did. I'll bring those up in the future, by the way."

"And I'll call Esme and ask her about you." My smile falters a little as I think about Esme and the rest of the Cullens. Are they mad at me because of our fight?

"She'll love to tell you all those embarrassing stories when we go home." I love the way he says home while he caresses my cheek.

"Are they not mad at me?" They'd be entitled to; they are his family.

"Of course not." He shakes his head. "It doesn't matter if we fight Bella, they love you like a daughter. You won't lose Mom, Dad or Rose. Never. Just like I won't lose Emmett, Jasper or Alice. We're family now." He leans and kisses my forehead softly.

Family. I remember Dad's words from earlier and, looking up, give Edward a watery smile. He says the words so naturally. There is no waver in his voice, no hesitation when he holds me against him. He _knows_ this is happening.

"Don't cry, please." I bury my head in his chest and let the tears fall.

I'm happy about his words; it's the same thing that I'm feeling, that I _have_ been feeling for weeks now. Even with our fight, I knew we'd be in each other's lives to some degree, but now hearing him say that for certain… it's overwhelming. I cry and it seems to relieve me of all the pressure from this past week. Still, I'm so tired of crying. I want to be happy; I want _us_ to be happy, like all the times we were wandering around Paris.

Edward rocks me back and forth, kissing my face in different places and murmuring words that I can't decipher above the music.

"You looked so beautiful up there at the altar, next to your father. I could-" He takes a breath and when he doesn't continue, I look up at him. His hands cup my face and his fingers wipe my tears. His face has the same determined look he did earlier at the ceremony.

"You know I'm going to marry you someday, right?"

Like before, he sounds and looks so sure. He doesn't look at me with fear that I might deny what he's saying; he _knows_ my answer. Because there is no doubt in my heart: one day I'll marry Edward Cullen.

"I know."

He smiles and those two simple words are enough for him. He leans and kisses me, and the sounds of people laughing, of glasses clattering, of music playing all fade away in the background.

The kiss is not hot like the one back at the house. It doesn't feel like we'll be ripping each other's clothes at any moment. This is different; it feels like… definitive, forever.

My hearts feels like is going to burst out of my chest, and my body starts to heat up. It feels like a current is running through my skin and I don't want it to stop. We slowly break the kiss and placing my hands on his cheeks, I say what my heart and body feel it's right.

"Let's go, _Monsieur_ Cullen. I want to make love to you tonight."

I take his hand and after saying goodbye to everyone, we head out.

O~o~O~LB~O~o~O

The ride back to the house was surprisingly calm, all things considered.

There was no groping through our thick clothes or hot kissing that left us both breathless, but there was something in the air all right: the anticipation of what was going to happen, but neither of us was acting on those impulses. Instead, there was hand-holding and the occasional kiss to my temple or to his cheek. Edward would look at me and that would say it all: he loved me and this was the start of something new, better.

We both knew what would happen, obviously, and by not trying to rip each other's clothes off in the back of the taxi, we were both trying to make this last for as long as we could. I was engraving to memory every touch and look, every soft 'I love you' he would whisper into my ear.

I wanted to remember it all.

When we get to the house, we slowly make our way up to my room. Edward follows me a few steps behind. Neither of us say anything and the only sounds come from our steps.

The place is empty. Seth will stay out all night with friends, and Dad and Sue are heading for their honeymoon. We have the place all to ourselves.

There is still light coming from outside, but the sunset will soon arrive. I don't bother to turn on the lights as we go; it's almost like they would ruin the silence we're under.

In my room, I leave my clutch and gloves on my desk, and when I turn, I see Edward only staring at me, his eyes watching my every move.

I feel every cell in my body reaching for him, just begging to touch him. His face shows that he seems to be feeling the same and with slow steps, we walk toward each other. Each step that I take sends waves of anticipation over my body, thrilled that soon enough his touch will be on my skin.

"Hi," he says when we're face to face.

"Hi." My arms go up to his neck as he brings me closer to him.

Then, his lips go directly to mine and something that starts slow and sweet, soon transforms into something different, more heated. All those thoughts that usually cross my mind when we're together, come back. I want to touch his bare skin. I want to kiss his arms and chest. I want _him_.

We separate and without saying anything, we start undressing ourselves.

I turn my back on him and he helps me with my coat. His hands feel a little cold, and since my skin is so heated, the contrast makes me gasp and Edward chuckle.

I help him take off his own clothes, letting them fall to the floor. I have missed this action, not just to see his naked body and feel it under my hands, but the intimacy of it all. The uncovering of layer after layer to find bare skin, to find _him_, the man I love.

I kiss his chest and stomach as I go, moving the pads of my fingertips to touch the soft hair of his chest or the smooth skin of his back. I smile against his skin when I hear his shaky breaths.

Of course, this being Edward, he returns the favor. He would never miss an opportunity to touch me like this.

Little by little my clothes leave my body, as Edward carefully removes them one by one. As I did to him, his lips and hands touch everything they can reach. Only for him, it's a little desperate, like he's discovering things for the first time and is afraid they might disappear.

He's kneeling in front of me and I clasp his hands between mine when I notice they are trembling slightly on my hips, as he tries to take off my panties.

He stops and rests his forehead against my stomach. I can feel his hot breath though my panties.

"You're here, you're really here," he whispers.

"I am and I'm not going anywhere. I love you, Edward, nothing will change that, ever," I whisper back. "From the day that we met, I've chosen you, only _you_. No one else. This doesn't have to be perfect; tonight it's about just us."

He takes a couple of breaths and looks up at me.

"I just want this to be special."

"It will be, no matter what, Edward. Whatever we do, it will be special. We both know neither is going anywhere after today. There will be plenty of nights in the future for us." I wink, trying to lighten the mood.

He smiles, looking like the man back in Paris when we used to go out around the city. He gets it; it's just us.

"You're right." And his smile transforms into a smirk and I know we're okay.

He takes off my panties after that and with a trail of kisses up my body, he stops at my lips. His hands touch everywhere, and I have no idea where to focus: on his hands or his lips.

We fall into bed, our legs entwined as our hands move to my waist or his chest. His body feels amazing pressed against mine. Not only is the heat of his skin something I crave, but I can also feel his chest vibrating when he groans and the friction of his chest against mine. My legs move up and down his own, feeling the tickle of his soft hair brushing my skin.

Edward moves his mouth to my neck and shoulders, whispering soft words to my skin, like he often does.

I never know what he says, but it's the way he says the unintelligible words that make me think that, even though they are only for me, perhaps I'm not meant to understand them. His actions show me how he feels.

He leans back and softly nudges me to lie flat on my stomach. Before I get to say a word, I feel his body pressed against my back.

"Oh, God." I moan.

We've tried different things in the past; he's taken me from behind before, but now it feels so different. I feel his entire body enveloping me, like I'm truly surrounded by him.

"Are you okay?" He whispers, close to my ear.

I can only nod.

My hands grip the sheets above me and Edward entwines his left hand with mine, his other one moving between my legs. I have to rest my forehead against the mattress.

Edward rests his head on my right shoulder and kisses my now sweaty skin, as his hand works me up. I can feel him hard behind me and that, coupled with how great his hand feels, makes my orgasm inevitable.

"Bella," he whimpers.

His breathing is hard against my shoulder, and alternates between soft kisses and moans. His hips instinctively move forward, in tandem with the movement of his hand between my legs. I move my hips in sync with them as well.

Every time he moves forward, I feel the heat of his skin pressing against my back. It's too much and not enough at the same time. I feel completely surrounded by him, yet he hasn't even entered me.

The thought of that makes me moan loudly.

"Bella, please." My hips move with his hand and then I'm unable to stop it. I let go and moan his name over and over.

I still, arching my back, and feel Edward move behind me. Not a second later, I feel him enter me and I choke on another moan. The way he moves makes the high of my orgasm last longer, makes my breathing speed up.

"Bella." He groans and starts to move, slowly.

Keeping my forehead against the mattress, I simply let myself feel _him_. His body rests a little heavier against me, although I know he's careful to not crush me with his weight. I feel his hot and sweaty skin, his breath on my neck, and the thrust of his hips against mine.

With him, every time is different, even when we might repeat the positions or places. The feelings evoked are always different. Now is no different: it's reconnecting, it's 'I'm sorry', it's 'I love you'.

"I've missed this." He groans and buries his head on my neck.

I can only moan.

His movements become faster and a little more forceful. My hips move to meet his, as his right hand keeps pressing between my legs. His left hand, holding mine against the sheets, lets go and moves between me and the mattress to rest on my right breast. He's now embracing me tightly to him, not an inch of space between us.

"I love you," he repeats and thrusts harder.

I love feeling his body like this, so close: his legs moving between mine, the friction of his skin hotter and hotter against my own; his chest pressing against my back, feeling his hips thrust forward.

I move my cheek to rest on the mattress now. I want to see him, even through the corner of my eye. I also loosen the grip my hand had on the sheets and move it back, placing it at his hip, encouraging him to move faster.

"Oh God." The movement makes him thrust harder and rest his forehead against my temple. I feel his breathing on my cheek as I grip his hip harder.

With this and the tightening of his grip on my body, I can feel him getting closer and closer to letting go. And as much as I like how we are now, I want to see his face when he does.

"Please, I want to see you," I whimper.

The next second, we're moving and untangling, just to do it again when we're face to face.

"Fuck." Edward groans when we're back together.

My legs go around his waist and hands on his back. In this position, I can see his flushed face and frowning forehead, concentrating on his movements. He looks beautiful as always and I feel almost proud that I'm the one making him let go like this. I'm the one that makes him grunt and flush and lose control.

I can't help myself and move my hands to cup his face, feeling the heat under my hands and moving a few locks of hair stuck to his skin from his sweat.

"Just let go," I say softly, as he rests his forehead against mine. Our lips touch slightly every time he thrusts forward, and I taste the saltiness of his skin.

"I love you." He moans and with a few more movements, he finally lets go, his body shaking and then stilling, his eyes closing and mouth opening.

He's simply beautiful and he's mine.

"I love you." I say, close to his skin when he falls gently over me. The feel of his weight and body heat something I can't get enough of.

"And I love you."

A little later, we're both tangled and the heat of our bodies is slowly going back to normal. I look out the window and notice that it's already nighttime. I can see a few lights in the distance.

"So what happens now?" I ask him. I hate interrupting this silence we're in now with this question, but seeing the light out the window reminds me that there is a world outside that we have to face.

He's silent for a moment and, with my cheek on his chest, I feel him sighing deeply.

"I'll go and see James when we get back to Paris. You're right, I need to see him face to face and ask him a few things after reading Renata's letter. I will not let him get away with things anymore. I need answers, and he'll have to give them to me.

"I'll also take things to the end in the legal sense. I'm not going to ruin him simply because he's an asshole, although that's part of it." He laughs humorlessly. "I'll pursue him simply so he can't do this to anyone else. Now that I think about it, God knows how many times he's done this with lesser known designers, stealing what's not his."

I nod; this is the last we'll see of James.

"As for us, well, that also depends on you." He kisses my forehead. "I was an asshole to you, and you were dealing with things as well. We screwed up. I guess we'll do better next time then. We'll deal with things together. No more running away, okay?" He looks down at me.

I nod.

"And no more jumping to conclusions, okay?" I say back and he nods. "And what do you mean with 'next time', Mister?" I tease.

"You know there will be a next time for stupidity, at least on my part." He laughs. He sounds so happy even with that prospect. "And I guess it's a good idea to invest in a comfortable couch now, I get the feeling you won't want me in our bed for a night or two when I'm an idiot."

"Never." I giggle, because we know that he'll sleep on the couch if we have a fight. Not that it will last very long. Even mad, I would want him in our bed.

And that's it.

During these past two days, we've talked and done what we should've back in Paris a week ago. We've admitted we were both wrong, we've said we were sorry, we've realized that there was more than meets the eye to what happened, and now we're making plans for something new, something real, with fights and insecurities, but real. We'll just talk like we should've from the start and we'll learn from now on.

There will be mistakes, God knows there will be, but we'll face them together, back home.

O~o~O~LB~O~o~O

We spent the rest of the weekend naked in bed. There was no way I was showing him the sights after our first night together. Thank God, there was no one home that weekend. We certainly made the best of it.

We showed each other how much we loved the other with words and actions, with kisses and touches, with talks and contemplative silences.

We made plans for Paris, places he still wanted me to see and sights I've been dying to show him. We even talked to Alice and the rest of the guys, they were happy things worked out in the end.

Edward never left my side during those days, always had his hand on me or if they were both busy doing something else, he would stretch his leg and tangle it with mine. He was never satisfied unless I was close to him. Something I completely understood, since not only did I want the same, but I also knew we had to rebuild some of the connection we lost over the week of separation.

We're now sitting at dinner, with Dad and Sue, one of our last with my family. Little by little, it is sinking in that I'll be back home in two more days. I feel so bad that I didn't get to spend my time here, as I should've.

"So, are you still going back to Paris this Thursday?" Dad asks us.

"Yes, we have to go back to work next week and deal with… a few things," Edward answers and sighs.

"I feel like I barely had time to spend with you, with the _both_ of you."

"I know that and I'm sorry." I look down at my plate.

"Don't be, Bella. Things happened that were out of your control. For the both of you." He finishes when he sees Edward is about to speak.

"Listen kids, I've been meaning to talk to you for a few days and I guess now is the time." He sets his cutlery down and looks at us across the table, Sue to his right.

"Edward, I care about Bella the most in the world. I've made a lot of mistakes, and there is nothing I can do to change them. I can only try not to repeat them again. That means protecting her from people who hurt her, or at least try to protect her." He looks at me pointedly. He knows I'd fight him if there was something I wasn't comfortable with.

"Yes, sir. I understand."

"It's Charlie, Edward. You've met my family already. I think we're past that sir thing."

I see a tiny smile on Edward's lips.

"Anyway, as much as I want to protect Bella, she's a grown woman and can take care of herself. She can also make her own decisions, and I'll respect that. And now, she chose you. I know neither of you needs my approval, but I have to say that you have it." He folds his hands under his chin.

"I wanted to punch you so hard when I saw you at my front door, son."

I grip Edward's hand under the table as he mutters, "I figured."

"However, seeing Bella since you got here and hearing what the rest of the family saw in both of you, what _I_ saw in both of you. Well, there is nothing I can do now, not to the guy who will marry my daughter one day."

Sue smiles and wipes a tear as I feel Edward's hand gripping mine back. Dad doesn't even blink.

I'd be surprised by his words if I hadn't heard him say something similar back at the wedding.

"Thank you, Charlie. And you're right, that _will_ happen." He turns to me and smiles so brightly, I forget all about Dad and Sue across from us for a moment.

"Alright then, but just so you know, I will punch you if she looks even a fraction as sad as she was when she got here, got it?" Dad points his finger at Edward.

"Of course. I'll do my best to make her happy for as long as I can. You will not regret saying this."

"I hope so, I don't like regretting things, son. Don't make me."

"And you, Bella." Now he turns his way to me. "I expect more visits from now on Two weeks wasn't enough and even though I learned to use that Skype thing, it's just not enough anymore." I nod and get up from my seat to hug him.

"Of course, Daddy. And you'll come to Paris as well, okay? Emmett and Alice are dying to see you again, and I'm sure Sue would love a little time in Paris."

Sue gasps and when I turn to her, she looks so happy with this idea.

"Now you've done it," mutters Dad.

After that, we go back to eating, and Edward holds my hand firmly all throughout the rest of it. He doesn't say much, as if he's thinking of something.

When I help Sue do the dishes, Dad and Edward disappear for a while, and I guess they're having some guy time. When Edward comes back he looks almost lighter, like a weight has been lifted off his shoulders, but he only kisses me when I ask him about it. I guess it was just a guy talk that I might never hear about.

On Thursday morning, we wake up early. Our bags are ready for tonight's flight, all the gifts have been purchased, having spent the day before finding the right ones for our friends and family. We also had lunch and dinner with Sue, Dad and Seth where I found myself smiling and sitting back, simply staring at them and their easy interactions.

After our dinner on Tuesday, things have been lighter for everyone. We enjoy the short time that we have together and make more plans for our next visit.

This morning though, I want to take Edward somewhere special, and since it's a little far away, our last day here needs to start early.

I drive us there, taking the ferry so that Edward can see the beautiful view of the city from this side and all the surroundings. I go from seeing Edward's face to seeing the view in front of us. I truly didn't remember it looked this beautiful.

Edward looks at everything with such awe, his eyes staying fixed on the view for minutes at a time. From the movement of his hands, I know he's itching to draw something. So I go for the next best thing, my camera phone and take photos so he can check them later.

I hear some giggles near us and when I turn, some girls are staring at him, trying to get his attention. I only shake my head, because I know the feeling. Even with his coat and scarf around his neck, covering part of his face, he looks amazing.

Only he doesn't look at any of them, he only looks at me whenever he manages to take his eyes away from the view. His smile and kisses are only for me.

"So, what do you think so far?"

"Bella, this is amazing. I can't even-" He shakes his head, his hair moving wildly with the wind.

"I know, breathtaking." I cuddle closer to him, with his arm around my shoulders.

After the ride, we're back on the road, enjoying the conversation and the soft music that plays in the background. The road is familiar even though I haven't been here in years. The scenery gets greener as the miles go by.

When we get to Forks, I drive us down the familiar road and stop when I see the house. It's been so long, it seems almost surreal.

"This is where I grew up," I tell Edward, without taking my eyes away.

I notice a new coat of paint, toys in the front yard and even a new fence. So different, yet the same.

"Are you okay?" Edward says as he kisses my temple, and I sigh, relaxing.

"Yeah, it's just so weird seeing it again, thinking about what kind of lives the new owners have there – in the place where I grew up. Did they fix the crack in the porch from when I crashed the lawn mower? Or did they paint over the marks made by the kitchen door to show how much taller I got every year?" It doesn't erase the memories if they did, but it's still bittersweet to think about. Our marks have to be erased in order to make room for new ones.

"We'll make new ones back home." He takes my hand. "We'll keep every little thing our kids make. Our fridge will look ridiculously full of drawings and magnets."

A laugh escapes me, and as I throw my head back, I let go.

I laugh as tears flow down my cheeks, tasting the saltiness on my lips. I'm so happy with the image he just painted. We both know our house will be full of drawings; yet I'm so sad that my Mom won't get to see it, that she won't be able to make the same marks with our kids alongside mine to compare them. We won't even be able to visit her here.

I hear the click of my seatbelt and then feel myself being moved to Edward's lap. I rest my head on his chest as he rocks and calms me with his words.

He promises that we'll visit more, that we'll take a million pictures so as to not forget anything, that we'll talk about Mom more and keep photos of her so that our kids will know how she looked. I laugh when he says he'll even try to learn to play the piano again so we can play duets for everyone.

I already fear how those lessons will go.

In front of my childhood home, Edward calms me and shows me, once again, that he's the guy for me, the only one.

"Is that better?" he asks after my tears dried.

"Yes, thank you." I sigh and look back at the house again. "And I want all those things with you as well, not just a perfect house with a porch and a yard." I motion to the house. "I want a life with you, stupid fights and piano recitals, carpooling and lazy Sundays."

He smiles and grazes my cheek with this hand as he stares at me.

"Okay then."

I laugh.

"Is that it?".

"Yes." He nods. "We want the same things and I'm tired of over-thinking things. We'll get there, I know it."

I nod, it's weird to see him like this: hesitant at times and so very sure of things at others. I guess things don't have to always be so difficult… they can just be.

A little later, we get to where I really wanted to bring him on this trip.

We slowly walk down the road, my left hand holding his and my right one holding a bouquet of flowers.

Daisies, Mom's favorite.

Each step takes us closer to where she rests, but instead of feeling sad or overwhelmed as I thought I would, I feel so much peace. It's impossible not to smile.

We stop and I kneel down to place the flowers in a tiny vase, getting rid of the old ones. The day is cloudy and the grass is wet from last night's rain, and everything looks so bright today.

"Hi, Mom. I brought you some flowers, your favorites. I'm so sorry I didn't come here earlier. A lot has happened in my life since you left. Maybe you know that already, who knows.

"Anyway, after all the bad things, I finally found that guy. You know, the one you always said would come, and I wouldn't know what hit me when he did. Well, you were right, I never knew I'd meet him by a fountain, with a loose button of all things. You would've been appalled to see that." I laugh softly, feeling Edward kneel down next to me.

"And here I am now, here _we_ are. I'm so happy, Mom, it's ridiculous. Is this how you felt with Dad? No wonder you were always smiling. It's so much; even when I'm angry with him, I want to kiss him." I hear Edward chuckle next to me. "You would've loved him, Mom, he's a designer and I know you would've spent hours talking back and forth about hemlines and stitches and what's best for which fabric." She truly would've loved him.

"So, here I am, with my Edward visiting Dad, who's happy now, so happy. I know you'd be too, for him. And now we'll visit more and I'll come see you a little more often, bring you your daisies.

"I just wanted to tell you that I'm okay, that you were right. Things will fall into place when the time's right and they're finally doing that for me now. I'm happy and in love and I'll even get to be a designer now. Can you believe it? Of course, you can, you always said that would happen." My biggest supporter.

"Thank you, Mom, for everything. I wouldn't be here today if it weren't for your encouragement and your love for creating. It took me to New York, that's true, but it also led me to Paris and I could never regret that." I rest my head on Edward's shoulder and relax.

"I love you, Mom. Look out for us, okay? I'll marry him one day, and I want to see what kind of babies we will make." I giggle when Edward laughs.

We sit there in silence for a few moments. It's so peaceful; the feeling is stronger now that we're here in front of her spot. There is a cold wind, which makes the branches from the tree next to us move, the sound of that is so soothing.

Edward breaks the silence.

"I'll take care of her, Mrs. Swan. I'll marry her and make sure that none of my buttons will ever be loose, now that I know you wouldn't like that." I laugh. "And when the time comes, we'll bring those pretty babies here. They'll all know who you were and that in a way you brought us together."

I feel tears in my eyes, but don't let them fall this time. I'm happy, in love, and I know better things are coming. This is not a goodbye; it's introducing her to my new life.

"Bye, Mom. I love you and I'll see you soon." I kiss my fingertips and place my hand over her spot.

I turn to stand in front of Edward. He looks so cute with his coat and scarf, his face flushed from the cold and his hair moving wildly.

"Come on." I extend my hand towards him. "Let's go home."

And with a little nod, we slowly make our way down the pathway back to the car, back home.

* * *

><p><strong>And we're going home. *Tosses <strong>_**macarons**_** for everyone***

**So, the bad times are behind them. :-) They had to happen at some point for them. This was their first fight, not only for them but in general, neither of them has had to handle a relationship in a while. We sometimes learn the hard way and they let all that past and stuff get the best of them.**

**And yes, it's out there that they'll get marry. It has been a given for a time, but now the words are clear and out and everyone knows from just seeing their interactions.**

**I posted a few pics for this chapter if you want to check them out (link on profile), just imagine the pin is black, lol. Once again, I do things backwards.**

**Also, and I can't be more giddy about this if I tried, the lovely and pretty **_Ange de l'aube_** made this gorgeous banner for Little Buttons. She also had some lovely words to say about LB in her blog, I swear I can't stop staring at the banner, lol. You can check it out here: **_angedelaube (dot) wordpress (dot) com/2012/05/30/new-banner-little-buttons-by-choclover82/_

**Also, as you probably know by now, a lot of stories are being pulled from this site. I don't know if this will happen to any of my stories (FFn actually sent me an email that 'Thank You, Stranger' was being pulled but then they sent me another email telling me that it was a mistake on their part), but if that happens, I'll post something on my profile as to what I'll do about it. You can PM me any time and ask me about it if you want. I'm not saying it _will_ be pulled by FFn or that _I'm_ pulling, I'm just saying that if that ever happens, check my profile or ask me on Twitter. :-)**

**And I think that's it, lol. One more chapter left before the epi and we're done with this. I still have outtakes to post, so I won't be done just quite yet, but LB will be done. Boo.**

**Thank you so much for reading and, hopefully, not flouncing. Have a great weekend, pretty ladies.**


	27. Cufflinks

**Hi there, pretty ladies.**

**So, this is it: 'Little Buttons' last regular chapter. :-( There will be an epilogue after this, but I think we're ready to leave these kids behind in Paris.**

**Many, many incredible thanks to my beta Songster for her help in all this journey. Gah, a year. She sees all these chapters when they're rough and has been there with all my weird changes and making suggestions so this story doesn't go down the drain, lol. No lie. Thanks, pretty.**

**And once again, I don't own Twilight.**

**Now let's see what they'll do…**

O~o~O~LB~O~o~O

'**Cufflinks'**

"So that's settled then?" I ask Alec, my lawyer.

We're now sitting in my studio, much like we've done for the past two days.

Bella and I have been back in Paris since last Friday, spending our weekend with our families and friends, recounting what we saw in Seattle and Charlie's wedding. Aimée and Marie had been the ones most thrilled about our visit, with all the presents we brought them.

Then came Monday and my time with Bella shortened considerably. I spent most of that day and Tuesday here at my studio, making calls and preparing everything to take James down. I know seeing little of Bella will all be worth it when this is all over.

Bella hasn't had that much time either. On Monday, she got a call from the people she interviewed with a few weeks ago, telling her that she was one of the designers they had chosen to help fund. They loved her proposal and wanted to start working with her as soon as possible.

To say that Bella had been happy is an understatement and she really proved it that night over and over again. Not that I minded, of course.

She started working immediately that Monday and Tuesday, spending her time in meetings or drawing and over all making sure things start on the right foot. I tried to help her with advice on a few things here and there at the end of our days, since I could tell that things were becoming a little overwhelming for her.

I considered asking Tanya to recommend someone to help Bella with the small things, an assistant of sorts, so she can concentrate on the bigger decisions. She will need one as her business gets bigger, so better to start now. Tanya knows a lot of people in the business and will know who best fits Bella.

Today is Wednesday and this week has already been too long.

The good thing is that today is the last day I'll be working at my studio, since Christmas is this Saturday, and I won't be back until after New Year's.

I gave everyone this week off from work to enjoy the holidays, but I decided to stay here a few more days and take care of things in order to deal with James. He will not know what hit him, and with the holiday season, the surprise factor is working for us.

Only a few people decided to stay until today to help me with all of this, refusing to leave me alone. Tanya and Irina are among them. Stubborn women.

"Yes, Edward, everything is ready. Just say the word and tomorrow I'll take all these papers." Alec waves his hand over the folder in the middle of my desk.

"Good. Tomorrow then." I nod and sigh.

I'm so tired, and not only from all the hours we've spent here drafting these documents, but from everything.

"All right. I'll present the papers to the courthouse first thing tomorrow morning, and I'll call the press tonight to make the announcement." He writes down a few notes and I lean back on my chair, closing my eyes.

Tomorrow morning everyone will know who James really is: a thief.

We'll file a lawsuit, citing property theft, not that it will make much of a difference, in the end. We already have proof with the videos and even some emails we gathered from Jane that she'd been exchanging with James for a long time. She's also providing something that will be the nail in James' coffin if he keeps refusing the allegations. Jane has been very cooperative in order to help her case. She may not have plotted this, but she is the one on the videos and ended up doing his dirty work.

I could've left it at that, just present the lawsuit and be done with it, the press would find out anyway. However, I'll be making an announcement tomorrow morning about what I'll be doing. I want to be the first to get the word out and say what I have to say from the start. I will not tolerate people stealing original work, and the world will know this from my own mouth. On my terms. I won't be the idiot who was a target once again, I'll be the one taking action for once.

"On a different subject," Alec interrupts my thoughts, and I open my eyes, looking back at him.

"I wouldn't be doing my job if I didn't try to persuade you from what you're doing this afternoon, Edward." I shake my head; he's been saying this since Monday. "But I know you will anyway. So, good luck, my friend, and I'll see you tomorrow morning."

I smile. Even if he doesn't agree, he'll go with it.

"Thank you for everything, Alec. You're really helping me out here and not just because I'm paying you. I can't believe you're not with your family at the moment."

"Well, they understand. Besides, don't be so sure I'm not doing this for the money, this is not going to be cheap for you." He chuckles.

"Worth every cent."

We say goodbye and I turn my chair to look out the window.

This afternoon I'm going to visit James at his studio.

Alec advised me against it, I could lose my temper and then James would have something against me. Alec was also worried that James might lose his temper as well, but I'm tired of hiding and holding back. Today, I'm getting answers at last and I'm not leaving until I do.

Bella had been concerned when I told her about today, but she knew that it was what I had to do, alone this time. I understood her concern, I really have no idea what will happen when I see him, but after the trip to Seattle, moving completely forward is what I have to do.

And that means facing James, alone.

I let a big breath out when I think of what this afternoon will bring, clenching my fists at the same time.

On one hand, I feel relieved by it, to be finally putting this chapter of my life behind me. I won't have to think about him anymore, at least not as a threat, and then I can focus on the really important things in my life.

On the other hand, I also feel enraged about going to see him. I have no idea how things will turn out and I know he'll say things to get a reaction out of me. I honestly don't know what I'll do if he says something about Bella.

I feel my phone vibrating in my pocket and I feel myself relax a little when I see that is Bella.

"Hey, you." Her voice sounds tired, but happy. I smile against my phone.

"Hi, yourself. How was your lunch?" I knew she had a business lunch today, her last work related thing before taking time off.

"Great, we bounced around ideas the entire time. I can't wait to start working full-time after New Year's." She sounds excited and that tired undertone from before all but leaves her.

"I'm glad about that. Keep that in mind when you're too tired, though." I chuckle when I hear her giggle. I'm not really kidding, she will be cursing the day she thought about starting her own business.

"I'll try to remember then."

We're silent after that. We've talked about what I'm going to do in a few hours, and there is nothing more to say, really. It feels like this is the point that will change things for us, lifting the weight that I've been carrying and answering questions that have plagued me for two years.

"You know that no matter what happens, we'll be okay, right? _You'll_ be okay." She says softly.

"Yeah, I know." I smile. Things won't change between us. If anything, they'll get better.

We're silent again for a few moments. It's enough to just hear her breathing on the other side of the line, to know that she's there. I can imagine her running her hand over my hair to calm me. That image makes me sigh.

"I love you and I'll be waiting at home for you." She finally says and I can almost hear the smile in her voice. The image of her at home makes me smile back.

"I love you too."

We say goodbye after that. Her call was just what I needed: her calming voice and the knowledge that she was thinking of me when she knows that I'll be doing something that I should've done long ago.

With a contented smile, I head out of my office to James' studio. The sooner I get this done, the sooner I can go home to the woman I love.

O~o~O~LB~O~o~O

James' studio is a big building; he loves doing things to get him noticed. This five-story structure certainly does that. It's not the size, but the design of it. It does not fit with the rest of the neighborhood with its modern structure and bright colors. He could've restored it and made it beautiful but he just butchered it.

When I turn the corner to get to the building, two familiar figures are leaning against the wall.

Emmett and Jasper.

They straighten up when they see me approach them.

"What are you two doing here?"

"Bella." That's all Jasper says.

"Bella asked you to come?" She didn't say anything.

"No, she didn't, but we can see how worried she was and well…" Emmett trails off.

I knew she had been worried, but she understood why I needed to do this. Had she been lying to me about it? Telling me what I needed to hear?

"Look, man, it's not what you think." Jasper interrupts my train of thought. "Bella didn't ask us to come here. We came because she looked worried, and we also came for you."

"For me?" Now, I never thought of that.

"Look, Edward. You're family now and what kind of family lets one of its own face this asshole alone?" Emmett motions to the building behind him. "So, we're here for both you and Bella, ready to kick ass if necessary."

I'm not sure what to say.

"Don't look so surprised, man. We're coming either way, so you might as well say yes and let us enter the building. It's freezing out here." Jasper rubs his hands together.

It is December after all.

I look at them and the feel of family is strong. They're right; family doesn't leave its members alone. After that week away from Bella, they were a great support, proving that friends and family were what I really needed in my life. I might've gone crazy without them during that week.

"Okay, let's go." I nod.

We enter the reception area, and all eyes are on me. Not only have I never come here before, but everybody also knows who I am, and everybody knows that I dislike James. At this point, I don't care about their attention; I know news of my coming here will travel fast, and tomorrow everyone will know why.

They also eye Emmett; he's a big guy.

The receptionist eyes us, slightly wary of my presence here, but she covers it quickly and becomes polite and formal, as with anyone else. She talks to James about letting us go up to his office, and after he accepts, we're on the way.

The more steps I take to his office, the more determined I get. This ends today.

"Edward." James grins as he opens the door to his office.

He looks casual and relaxed, like he's getting a visit from an old friend in the middle of the afternoon. It makes me want to punch him.

"James." I nod and enter, followed by Jasper and Emmett.

"What a surprise to see you here. So, to what do I owe this visit?" His eyes move to the guys. "And with friends, I see." He moves to a small bar in the corner, pouring himself a drink. "Came here to wish me a Merry Christmas? I have to say I'm touched."

The idiot.

"Moron," mutters Emmett.

"Cut the crap, James. You know I'm here to talk about Jane."

"Jane?" His hand falters for a second as he holds the bottle, but he recovers soon.

"Yes, Jane. The woman you had steal from my studio, _that_ Jane." The fact that he's still grinning pisses me off, but I try to maintain calm.

"Mhmmm. I think I remember a Jane that works in fashion, but I didn't know she worked for you." He moves casually to look out the window, a drink in his hand.

Right.

"Really? You didn't know? That's interesting, because the emails you sent her for weeks sure show your knowledge about that little fact." His back stiffens a little, and he still doesn't turn to look at me.

He's silent for a few moments; the only noise is the ice from his drink when he swirls his glass. He tried to look nonchalant, like what I say doesn't mean anything, but the tension in his body is evident.

"Maybe we should talk about this in _private_, being that I don't know who these people are." He says and finally turns, eyeing Jasper and Emmett.

"These people are his friends and we're not moving." Emmett even made himself comfortable on a couch.

"Well, this is my office and if you don't move, I'm calling security. I'm barely letting Edward stay here as it is." James seethes, trying to look in control but he looks nervous.

He won't back down.

"Look, guys. Why don't you wait outside? I'll be out soon, okay?" I just want answers and James won't give them to me if they're here.

There is silence in the room, no one moves or does anything. This might've been a useless trip.

"Okay, we'll leave you two alone, but we'll be right outside. Just in case," Jasper says and leads a protesting Emmett out the door, softly closing it behind them.

James goes back to pour himself another drink. If he keeps this up, he'll be drunk before this meeting is over.

"Felt the need to bring bodyguards?"

"They're family, and they're here because they want to be."

"If you say so."

"Yeah, I say so. I don't have to pay them to do the work for me, unlike you did with Jane."

"Oh, Edward. You finally saw beyond your own nose." He takes a sip of his drink.

At least he's still not trying to deny it anymore.

"I've been wondering when you'd realize little Jane was working for me as well, but I also knew it might never happen. After all, you never saw what happened between me and Renata." He smirks as he says this.

The way he says her name, like she was just another woman to him, makes me angry. This shocks me for a second; I haven't felt protective of Renata since we were married. Even then, it was more because she was my wife than anything else. I hate what she did to me, but knowing now that she loved him deeply, makes me want to shove his words up his ass.

How dare he treat her like that when she loved him as much as she did?

"Shut up, James," I hiss.

"Really, Cullen? _Now_ you worry about her?" He shakes his head. "What are you going to do? It's not like you did _anything_ two years ago."

That does it. I move from where I'm standing and stop in front of him.

"You're right. I never did anything and I should've," I say loudly, shoving him back, making his drink spill on the carpet. "But I'm not that idiot anymore, and now you're going to pay, James." I'm breathing hard. It feels so good to being able to say the words to his face and not just in my mind anymore.

"Is that so?" He looks a little shocked now that I'm in front of him. I'm not the man he knew.

"Jame-? Um, _Monsieur_ Cross? Is everything all right in here?" A feminine voice interrupts from the door at my back: his assistant. She must have heard my loud voice. Emmett and Jasper are right behind her.

"You okay, E?"

This makes me wake up, and shaking my head, I now notice that my hands are fisting James' shirt. I hadn't realized.

I take a step back, releasing him, and move to the other side of the room. Far away from everyone.

"Yes, Josephine, everything is okay, just two friends catching up. Don't bother to interrupt anymore. Everything is fine now."

He turns his head and his eyes harden a little.

"You two, by the way." He nods.

"Okay, _Monsieur_. I'll be right outside." I don't have to turn to see her to know that statement was directed more to me than James.

"E?" Emmett sounds wary of leaving, God know what I looked like just now.

"Yeah, Emmett, you guys can wait outside." I nod.

When they leave, I notice they left the door ajar, from where I stand, I can see that they are,focused on the office.

"Interesting to see that not all women like you." James laughs, his back to me as he pours himself a new drink.

"Why would she like _me_? You're sleeping with her," I say, running my hand through my hair.

He doesn't answers, only smiles. Of course he's sleeping with her.

"So, tell me, Edward. Why are you really here? Just to tell me that you know about Jane? I already knew that because she called me the day you confronted her."

I close my eyes for a second, remembering that day, the day Bella left.

"Aww, what's that, Cullen? You're hurt now? Or maybe you're thinking about that pretty little brunette I went to see that day? I have to say, she has some very soft skin. I could-" Before he can say another word, I'm in front of him, punching his jaw. He falls, with a surprised face and a bleeding lip.

"Don't ever talk about her, you hear me? Never." I hiss, my hands curled into fists, just itching to punch him again. I barely manage to control that urge.

"Whoa, Cullen. You actually have some balls after all." He gets up, his hands up in surrender. Smart move.

"I have to say, you have great taste. She was very polite at that poor excuse of a shop she works at, even when it was obvious she didn't even want to touch me." I almost smile when he says that; Bella sure dislikes him.

"Why did you go there in the first place?" I ask him, I had been wondering about his presence at her shop.

"To see what kind of woman she was. Maybe I could cut a deal with her, like with Renata. It was a coincidence that it all happened the same day that you found out about Jane. It was perfect, actually."

He's once again on the floor again with my second punch.

He was there to _recruit_ Bella? He truly was planning on screwing with me even more. Bella would never do that though, and I feel sick that, even for a second, I actually thought she had been working with James.

"That's it, Cullen, keep hitting me. The press will know this tomorrow morning, don't worry." He smiles and wipes the blood from his mouth.

I take a few deep breaths and step back from him, this is getting out of control. Alec had been right; this could end badly for me.

I pace in front of the window, and I hear James move in the room. I have to control myself and fast, this is getting us nowhere. I'm tired of his stupid answers and I can see that he's enjoying my reactions. Once again, I'm falling into the trap of giving him what he wants.

Now more than ever, I want to be home with Bella.

I notice movement from outside the office, and I can see Jasper and Emmett ready to step in, but I stop them with a short shake of my head. No need to add them if James decides to sue me for assault. However, they have been hearing what James has been saying, so at least I have witnesses of his confession.

And why his assistant isn't calling security, I have no idea. If the guys are hearing everything, she must be as well. Maybe she doesn't want to get involved or she left her desk. Either way, it doesn't look like anyone will interrupt again.

"I came here to tell you that it's over, James. I'm done taking your crap and letting you walk all over me." I wasn't planning on telling him that I'd be suing him, but he's getting on my nerves and besides, there is not much he can do with things going down in less than 24 hours. "I'm suing you for property theft and I have plenty of proof."

"Suing me?" He laughs.

He's so delusional and in his own world that he didn't notice the hesitancy in my voice when I told him I'd be suing him.

After hours with my lawyer, strategizing what to do when it came to James, it turns out that I can't sue him for intellectual property theft. Even when all my work is truly _mine_, there is little protection when it comes to fashion designs.

We know that the lawsuit we file tomorrow won't hold; however, the damage will be done. Appearances are everything in this industry, and other designers and investors will not be inclined to work with James anymore when word gets out that he's a thief.

"Oh, Cullen, you crack me up. Proof? You mean Jane's word? Well, from what I understand _she_ was the one who stole from you, not me. Maybe you should direct that lawsuit in another direction." He got up from the floor and is now cleaning his bloody lip.

"It's true that she was the one who did the stealing, but it was under _your_ orders and I have proof of that. Your emails to her go back for a long time and also…" I trail off. I knew he'd try to deny things as stupid as that is.

"Also what?" His voice is a little shaky.

"Also, Jane saw that you might try to do something like this, throw her to the lions. So, she taped one of your conversations. She was going to use it against you if anything happened." Jane wanted something to hold against James, just in case he didn't keep his part of the deal. She had the emails and all, but having evidence that he actually _said_ the words might shake him a bit.

"She did what?" He yells and throws his glass against the wall. "That little bitch."

He fists his hair with both hands and mutters to himself for a few moments. He looks desperate, for once, not knowing how to handle it.

"That won't hold up in court, you know. That was illegal on her part." He looks at me with a little bit of hope that his words are true.

"Yes, that's true." I nod. "It is illegal to record someone without their knowledge, but it will create doubt. Maybe not in court, but among the people you interact with."

His hopeful look drops instantly.

"It was your mistake to treat her like you treat any other woman. You really thought she would fall to your charms just like that? Everybody knows how you treat women and after what happened to me, I guess it served as a lesson for people."

He looks a little panicked; he knows that there is no use in denying what he did now, that I'm right. Image is everything in this world.

"You know what, Cullen? It doesn't matter anymore. Yeah, I'll be sued, but it will take years before anything really happens. People will forget about everything in time." He's seething and _trying_ not to look scared.

"Really?" Now is my turn to laugh. "Believe what you want, James. The press may forget what happens when something new shows up, but not everyone in the industry will. Do you really think investors will give money to someone not only with a lawsuit under his belt, but one that involved a property theft? This business is _based_ on image. No one will touch you anymore, no one will even believe if you doodle from now on."

"They did give me money two years ago." He tries to defend himself.

"Perhaps, but they didn't know for sure what happened. I was stupid enough not to do this back then. It's over James; you're done doing this to me and anyone else for that matter."

He just stares at me for a long time, his chest heaving. It's like he doesn't believe what's happening. He never expected me to do something this time.

"Why?" I ask him finally. This is the question that has been nagging me ever since I saw him kissing Renata years ago.

He blinks and for a moment he doesn't seem to know what it is that I'm asking, but then, with a smirk, he goes to get another drink.

"Why I went after you?" I nod.

He takes a drink, and after swallowing, he looks straight to my face.

"Because I could."

"What?" I frown.

"You heard me, I did all that because I could. You were this perfect little designer, so much talent coming out of his ass, getting all the attention. Great for you, but you are weak, Edward Cullen. You had all of this and never took advantage of it, never really enjoyed it like you should."

He laughs at my surprised expression. Like I should?

"You are too weak to have all this success, Cullen. You need a thicker skin, and you don't have it. I saw it and I took the opportunity. I knew you'd never do anything back to me."

Just because he could?

"And what about Renata? Why her? Why not use someone who worked for me, like you did with Jane?"

"Oh, Renata, that wild, wild Renata." I'm clenching my fists, he's taunting me, and I know it.

"Yeah, well, she was icing on the cake, really. I was going to use someone from your company, but when I saw Renata at a party, bored as hell with her boyfriend…" He motions to me. "I knew this would be fun."

I knew his relationship with Renata began early in our marriage, but to hear him say it like that, like she was just another girl and what he did was just another day at the office; it's disgusting. I feel angry and like a fool at the same time. He saw an opportunity; it could've been anyone. I was just in the wrong place at the wrong time.

"She loved you," I whisper.

"I know, she told me." When I look up at him, his face looks sad for a second, but then he goes back to his cocky grin.

"She told you?" If she told him and still ended her life, alone and depressed, that means he never said it back. I let out a humorless laugh. I can't believe this. "You didn't love her, did you?" I shake my head. "Of course you didn't, you could never love anyone."

"Shut up!" I take a step back, surprised by his reaction. I thought he'd laugh in my face again.

He puts his glass down and runs his hands through his hair, pacing in front of the bar. I cock my head watching him do this; this is the least controlled I've ever seen him, even more so than minutes ago. To him, everything is a joke or a game, it seems.

He took a shot at me simply because he saw an opening to do so. It wasn't personal; it just was. I could've been anyone and I'm not sure how to feel about it.

Had there been a reason for it, I might be able to prevent something like this from happening in the future, but as things are, there are no preventive measures I can follow for something that is so random. I can be good to people or a bastard to them, and they still could do what James did.

A big sigh leaves my body when this thought hits me. Once again, I see what had been so obvious from the start: there is nothing I can do, nothing I could have changed. I have been living my life thinking that everyone is out to get me; when in reality, if people want to hurt you, they will no matter what you do. I've missed so much because of one bad experience, and in the end, everyone lives their lives as they should.

I shouldn't have been focusing on preventing myself from getting hurt. I should've lived my life and faced the bad things like everyone else in the world.

Bad things will always happen. It's not about building walls to prevent them; it's about facing them head on. Being with Bella has also shown me this; I would've missed _her_ had I not changed in time.

I keep looking at James pace and suddenly, I recognize myself in the way he's behaving right now. It's the same way I looked the week I was away from Bella.

He looks lost.

"You loved her," I say almost in awe. Until moments ago, I thought Renata's feelings were not reciprocated. I had wondered if he felt the same, but I was sure he didn't. Seeing him pace like this, how desperate he looks, I know I have been mistaken.

When he hears my words, he stops and looks at me. There is so much pain in his face, so much loss. He knows he'll never get her back.

"Just not enough," I add as an afterthought.

He turns to me, angrier than before.

"And what was I supposed to have done, huh? Be weak like you and mope like a baby when things don't go my way. I'm a man, Cullen, not a fucking girl. I got what I wanted and she knew it. If she fell in love with me, then that was _her_ fault, not mine." There is a tinge of desperation in his voice, like he's forcing himself to believe his own words.

He's a bigger idiot than I thought.

"Fuck!" He slams his fist on his desk. He barely flinches.

He calms himself after a moment and sighs heavily.

"She came to see me before moving in with her parents. She told me she loved me and that we could be together now that her marriage was over." He starts talking, a faraway look on his face.

"She was upset by what you did, screwing up her career, but she didn't care as long as we were together in the end." He shakes his head, not believing his own words. "It was just for fun. I was going to be out of that situation as soon as I had what I wanted, but I had to grow feelings for her."

Much like when I read Renata's letter, this moment feels surreal.

"I couldn't stay with her. I was happy with my life and I had already gotten what I wanted. When I told her this, she begged me to reconsider, to leave things behind and be with her. I could design and she could model for me. She didn't care about modeling for any other designer, as long as I was with her." He chuckles, it's unbelievable to him that someone would give up their career for love.

I'm suddenly feeling very sorry for this man. Because of how I feel for Bella, I can tell that what he missed, what he purposely threw away, would've been great.

That sadness turns into anger.

"So that's it, then? She told you she loved you and you turned your back on her just like that?" Fuck, I'm angry. "No words on how you really felt for her or anything. You're an asshole. That could've changed things for her! She might still be alive today!"

We both recoil from my words, stumbling back, like a wave hit the room.

I had been blaming myself for her death for two years now, and going over and over what I could've said or done to make her not do what she did. Let things go? Not sending those photos? But I see now that what I did was only a small part of what she was going through at the time. From the letter, I knew this already. She had been in love with him, and now, after his words, I find out that she had also been tossed aside by him. She was desperate for something, and it just wasn't for work. It was for James to love her back.

His words might've sent her over the edge as well.

I see James' expression of horror, and I don't know if it's because the thought of being guilty of Renata's death never crossed his mind or because I'm the first one to utter the words.

"Fuck." I run my hands over my face. I never thought that other things might've been at play in this. It was simpler to blame myself.

James leans against his desk, his head down.

With everything he's said about Renata, I realize that he hasn't let himself believe that she really loved him until now. She told him, maybe many times, but he didn't care or didn't want to care. He was only worried about himself, even when deep down he did return her feelings for him.

My body feels suddenly drained from this talk, from what I found out. I wanted answers, now I have them, I just don't know how to feel about that.

I'm done here.

I reach inside my coat and grab the familiar paper that I wasn't sure he deserved to see. Now, though, I know he needs to.

"Here." I leave it next to him on the desk.

"What's this?"

"A letter, from Renata." His eyes move to look at me and then to the letter. "Her father found it among her things and thought it was for me. It's actually for you.

"That letter right there, James," I point, "is the proof that you're an asshole. That letter shows how much she loved you and how much you missed when you didn't tell her you did as well. You have no idea, James, no idea."

He simply stares at the letter like it's going to bite him. I don't know if he'll read it or not, but I hope he does and sees how much he truly lost. From this day forward, he'll have to live with that knowledge.

My guilt over Renata's death has been so strong, but now I can lift some of it, knowing that there was so much going on in her head that I didn't know about. I _refused_ to let her tell me when she reached out to me; I _refused_ to see it when it was plainly obvious. She killed herself, for fuck's sake; of course there was too much going on in her head.

"Read it, don't read it. Do whatever you want with it. I'm done with you, James. Goodbye."

I turn around and leave him there, staring that the words that could've changed our lives had he had the balls to tell Renata he loved her.

I guess, in the end, James was the weakest of all of us.

O~o~O~LB~O~o~O

When I had gotten home that Wednesday night, I had been literally shaking with anger, relief and so many other emotions, I could barely contain myself. Emmett and Jasper remained quiet and for that I was grateful, in my state I have no idea what I would've said or done and they didn't deserve it.

Bella had barely asked me what had happened when I started kissing her frantically. I just needed not to think about anything that had happened earlier.

She let me take her on the couch and gave me what I needed. Kisses and touches and words that things were okay now. Afterwards, I had been ashamed at how I treated her, how rough I had been with her, but Bella reassured me that I hadn't and that it was okay, that it's what I needed at the time.

I told her everything that James and I had talked about and how I felt about it, confusion being the most predominant feeling. In turn, she just listened to me, letting me get the words out.

It was over, I could leave the past where it belonged and not look back anymore. Yet it still felt like I was missing something, one piece from the puzzle.

And later that night, as Bella rested her head on my chest and my hand ran over her skin, I finally realized what that was.

Today is Friday, December 24th. It's a day that we decided to spend alone, just Bella and me. Tomorrow we'll go to Rose's and spend it with family, but today is just for us. Our first Christmas together.

Which is why it's weird that I'm standing here looking at the familiar name in front of me. Bella is a few steps back, knowing that I need her near for this.

"Hi Renata." I can't believe I'm here today. I never thought I'd be back at her gravestone again.

"I'm not sure what to say, really. I – I talked to James the other day. I managed to only hit him twice." I chuckle. "Well, I just–" I sigh; this is hard. "I came here to say that what you did was pretty shitty; I still can't believe it sometimes. I'm so fucking mad at you. Now I know it was out of love for James, but that doesn't justify it. At all. I'd do anything for Bella, anything, but the difference is that she'd never ask me to do something like that, like James did to you."

She was a bitch for what she did and even when things were not as black and white as I thought all this time, she still knew what she was doing and did it anyway. So many time she could've stopped things but she didn't.

I always thought that if I had the chance to see her face to face again, I'd yell at her, tell her how selfish and self-centered she was and how much she ruined me, but now, I feel all that fight leaving my body.

"And after two years of blaming myself for everything, I am tired, Renata. So, so tired." I sigh. "I can now honestly say that I– I forgive you for what you did." I sigh and feel a warm hand on my shoulder. I lean my cheek against it.

I can't carry this any longer, I don't _want_ to. And as I say those words, it feels incredible being able to let them out and most of all, _mean_ them. I do forgive her for what she did, but that doesn't mean that I'll forget about it, that's for sure. I'm just simply choosing to let her and everything she did, behind. I can simply… live.

"I also want to say that I'm sorry. I should've listened when you called me back then, even when you called my parents. I just couldn't see past what had happened to _me_ and notice that there were things happening to you as well. I'm sorry for that."

I can't keep blaming myself for her death either, I might have played a part in her state of mind, but she had been going through so much that I didn't know. At the same time, I'm tired that every time I think of her, hate and shame is all I feel.

"I loved you, not the way I should've, but I did. We had some good times together. At least _I_ think so. That's what I'll remember from now on." I smile faintly; she was a funny girl in the beginning.

"So, that's it, Renata." I place a hand over the cold stone. "Goodbye. I hope you rest in peace now Since at the end of your life, things were far from peaceful."

I slowly get up and turn to kiss Bella on her lips; she giggles when she feels that mine are cold. I smile, feeling that I needed that sound.

"Are you okay?" I hug her close to me as we walk back to the car.

I look back to the gravestone and nod against her head. I really am okay.

Bella had told me how relieved she felt when she talked to Renee back in Seattle, that even though she couldn't talk back, just saying the words out loud had helped her. After getting these things off my chest, I feel the same way. This was as close as talking to Renata herself that I'll ever get.

I smile when I realize that I almost feel lighter after talking to James and coming here. I forgive her and most importantly, I forgive myself for the things I did at the time and ever since.

All of this brought me to Bella after all.

O~o~O~LB~O~o~O

"Come on, Edward. Let me see." I lead Bella up the stairs to her place; she has a scarf covering her eyes.

I had bought this Christmas gift weeks ago and stored it at Rose's since then. I'm really excited about it, and I can't wait to see Bella's reaction to it.

After the cemetery, I had taken Bella out to dinner and then on a car ride around the city, with the pretext of seeing the lights around town. In reality, I had been giving Emmett and Jasper time to set things up in Bella's apartment.

"Okay, just wait a second, we're almost there." I open the door to her place and see the gift immediately. Jasper and Emmett even turned on the Christmas tree's lights. The room looks amazing.

"All right, you can remove the scarf." I move Bella to stand in front of her gift, but all I concentrate on is her face.

"Edward, what was so–?" And her beautiful smile was all I wanted to see.

"You got me a piano? This is… I can't… What?" Seeing her speechless is also pretty cool.

More and more I had seen how much Bella loves to play music. She always plays when we're at Rose's, and she can't be more excited about it when we go out to jazz clubs where she plays with Jasper. So I decided why go out, she loves music and it calms her to let herself go when she plays.

It was even more obvious that I had done the right thing after our trip to Seattle, when I saw her playing for her family. Music is just as much a part of Bella's life as designing.

Now that her life is about to change, having a little peace in her own place seems like a good idea. I also did it for selfish reasons; I love seeing her play and how she closes her eyes when she gets into a song. Now I can have that all to myself, without the interruption of people around us.

"Yeah, I gather you like it?" I hug her from the side and kiss her temple as her eyes roam the upright piano.

It's small, of course, her apartment couldn't fit anything bigger, but I did a lot of research and got her the best I could find. I never knew there was so much to know about pianos.

"You think? But you really shouldn't have, I could play at Rose's," she says smiling and turns in my arms to face me. Her eyes are glassy and even though I know she's about to cry, she looks so beautiful with the colored lights from the tree reflecting in her eyes.

"I know, but I want you to have this." I run my hand through one of her locks of hair. "Now you don't have to share, this is just for you."

Her body melts against mine, and how I love feeling her like this.

"I love you. And thank you for this incredible gift. You always know what to do, don't you? How did I get so lucky?" She leans and kisses me.

"I'm luckier, end of discussion." I say against her lips and she smiles.

Slowly, we rid ourselves of coats, and Bella sits on the bench in front of the piano. Her fingers graze the wooden surface like she can't believe it's standing in front of her, that this is _hers_. She lifts the cover and lightly her fingers press the keys. She smiles every time there is a sound.

"Why don't you play it a little? It's supposed to be tuned, but I have no idea." I urge her, I'm eager to hear her play.

I sit on the couch next to the piano and watch as she starts playing. I always love this part, when she plays the first note and enters this new world. Each time, it's like she's surprised that her hands can create the music that floats into the room. That only lasts but a second, and then she simply lets go and lets her hands do the rest. She looks so confident when she plays. I remember her doubting herself when it came to designing, not anymore though, but when it comes to music, she's always played with confidence.

Bella looks so calm playing here in her living room; the dim lights dance on her skin, almost in time with the music. Seeing her like this, I know this was the perfect gift and now I can't stop myself from touching her.

I get up from my seat and silently move to stand behind her. As if sensing me there, she leans back a little, touching me with her back.

"Scoot a bit." I whisper in her ear. This makes her miss a note and me smirk a little.

She does and we rearrange ourselves on the tiny bench. I sit behind her, her body between my legs.

She never stops playing, but when I rest my head on her shoulder and run my hands on her sides, she misses more and more notes.

"Edward." It's a warning or a plea; I have no idea.

"Mhmm?" I kiss her neck as I move my hands to her thighs. She sighs and opens her legs slightly.

Plea it is.

I move my hands up her thighs, alongside her body, barely touching her breasts and then… I play a key on the piano, completely messing up the melody.

"Edward, what are you doing?" She laughs and rests against my chest.

"I told you I wanted to learn to play the piano again. I'm mimicking you." I play another key.

"Then I must really suck, because I haven't even touched the key you played just now." She can barely finish the sentence when I start tickling her.

"Hey! I'm not _that_ bad." Yes, I am. "And maybe my teacher is too sexy for her own good." I nibble her ear.

"Uhh, I'd love to meet this sexy teacher." She wiggles a little on the bench. We are so falling down from here. "If you want to learn then, okay. Put your hands above mine and feel how they move against the keys."

I do as she says and watch her fingers move slowly over the piano. I know she's going slower for my sake, but it's fascinating to see and feel how easily they move with no effort, changing from note to note. No wonder I sucked at this when I was little, I could never do this.

I sort of give up after a while, when she asks me to repeat what she played and I fail miserably. If I was being honest, I was mostly focusing on the feel of her skin against my fingers, which is why I purposely graze the top of her hands when we start again, going up her hands to the rest of her arms. She's wearing a sweater rolled up to her elbows, so all this time I was able to feel her warm skin against my palms. So soft.

"Edward." She pleas–warns again.

And a minute later, I'm proven right: we do fall to the floor after all.

Hours later, we're sweaty and happy and my back is a little sore.

"Okay, my turn now." We're lying on the floor, watching how the lights from the tree change from time to time. It's actually quite mesmerizing.

My eyes turn from the lights to see Bella's naked body move to get a small box from under the tree. That sight alone could be my gift and I'd be happy just the same.

"It's not as big as the piano, but I hope you like this." She looks a little nervous. I prop myself up on my left arm and take the small package.

"I'm sure I'll love it."

And man, do I.

Nestled inside there is a pair of silver cufflinks shaped like buttons.

"I can't believe you're giving me these." I laugh. "They're great, thank you." To always remember the day we met. Not that I could forget.

"Well, it was a loose little button that set in motion the events that led to our meeting by the fountain. I still can't believe something that insignificant could bring us together, but here we are." She leans over and kisses me quickly.

"Anyway, as little as that event was, it ended up changing my life, _our_ lives," she adds when she sees that I was about to speak. "It's like a loose thread in your button _had_ to happen at that precise moment. And now, I can't imagine not having you here with me. It's actually quite ridiculous how I can't see my life without you in it."

I shake my head, that makes two of us.

"And that's why I'm giving you a pair of cufflinks, Edward, because now we don't need a loose button in our lives anymore. It brought us together; it did its job. And I'll be damned if it brings someone else into your life. You're stuck with me now, forever. And those cufflinks will do the trick."

As if there will be anyone else.

"You're right, I don't need any more loose threads in my life."

Her gift is perfect for us, silly to the rest, but perfect for us.

I bring her closer to me and for the rest of the night, we show each other just how much our lives changed and how we each got what we really needed that afternoon by the fountain.

Loose buttons and all.

~The End~

* * *

><p><strong>And there ya go. So James' career is ruined, he got punched in the face a few times (hehe) and now he has to live with Renata's words forever and the knowledge of how much he threw away. I'd say he received what he deserved, huh?<strong>

**A few of you asked what the deal was with James and Edward. Well, after much drafting a year ago, this is what made sense: nothing. There was nothing special about James and Edward, James did it just because he saw a chance. Let's face it, a lot of bad things that happen in life are that way, sometimes there is no reason, no matter what you do. The important thing is how we react to them and with E being a control freak at the beginning, this actually gives him some freedom. He learned, letting go can be a good thing. ;-)**

**Okay, you can find a pic of the cufflinks on my profile (I mean, the URL, lol) if you want to check them out.**

**Also, after two years of having it, I decided to finally use my TWCS account, so I uploaded all my stories there as well. In case something happens here (that is out of my control). And, I also uploaded everything to a blog, something simple, nothing fancy, but that lets me add the pics intertwined with the chapters. So far, I only have LB to add. If you wanna check them out or whatever, you can check the addresses for both those things on my profile. **So there, two backups, lol.**  
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**And that is it, ladies, unless I forgot something (again). I'll say bye in the epi, this AN is already too long, lol.**

**Thanks for reading and I hope you have a great week. I'll post the epi as soon as possible, as it's already written.**


	28. Little Buttons

**Hello there, pretty ladies.**

**So... this is it, the final, final chapter of LB. I'm marking it as complete and NGL, it feels weird after being involved in this for so long. :-(  
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**Many, many thanks to my pretty beta Songster and for all her help in making this something worthy of reading. For realz. I never say it enough, but I love her and all her magic.  
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**I don't own Twilight. After a year, we already know this.**

**Okay, one more time…**

O~o~O~LB~O~o~O

**Epilogue**

'**Little Buttons'**

I open my eyes and look around the room, a bit disoriented from my nap. With sleepy eyes, I focus on the clock near the bed and realize that I've been out for twenty minutes. Wow, it's been a while since I napped that long in the middle of the day.

The reason for that makes me smile though.

I look around a little bit and see the room bathed in sunlight, a few bright streaks moving down the walls. There is movement on the sheer curtains, from the open windows, and when I feel a soft breeze hitting my feet, I wiggle them. It's summertime and the days have been hot as hell lately, but we get some respite some late afternoons and that's when we spend them walking around Paris, as the sun is not so strong.

I smile thinking that this has been a routine for the last few years since meeting Bella that hot afternoon in August. We often walk hand in hand to the park, around the zoo or to the market, often reliving those first dates after we first met.

I feel so comfortable lying in our bed that I don't even want to attempt to move from this spot. It's not like I could though, there is someone very important keeping me from making sudden moves.

I roll my head to the left and find Bella's sleeping face. She has been exhausted lately, and I'm glad she finally let herself to take a break. I could see it was already taking a toll on her and knowing her, she wouldn't have said anything until it was too late. She asks for help when she needs it, but at the same time, she pushes herself too much.

It makes me remember that night when she had her own show at Fashion Week, nine months after our first Christmas.

"_No, lift that side, it's not supposed to touch the floor." I hear Bella say to her assistant, Jess._

_We're back at Fashion Week, only this time we're getting ready for Bella's show. Mine had been two days ago and like last September, she was there supporting me through and through. Now it is my turn to be by her side… that is, when she's not moving around._

_After getting things ready with Chelsea and the contacts she provided, Bella started working on her clothing line. Much as I had anticipated, there were a lot of tears and fights between the two of us; she was overwhelmed and excited and scared to death. Bella then would apologize in tears for her behavior, and I'd try to calm her down, telling her stories about my own beginnings._

_That would do the trick._

_After months of preparing a collection that she deemed worthy of showing, she had her first fashion show. It was small, but it created enough buzz around town to be in a few magazines and attract buyers and investors after a few months._

_During all of this, I tried to help her more with the business aspect of things. After Tanya found Jess, her new assistant, things went a little more smoothly._

_It's now September, and along with three more designers tonight, Bella is launching her new collection for the next season. This is the first time things are happening this big for her, in a show this publicized. _

_In the beginning, her clothing line had been very low key, mostly getting clients by word of mouth. She had been happy about that, as it allowed her to really get to know her clients and their styles. However, everything changed back in May, after an interview on new designers in _Classique_, Chelsea's magazine. That same week, a famous French actress was photographed wearing one of Bella's creations, so that coupled with the interview, put Bella on the map instantly._

_I still think it was something planned by Chelsea, even though she denies it._

_I watch Bella give orders to people, looking so confident as she moves around the room. However, from the way she keeps fingering her bracelet, I know she's more nervous than she's letting on._

_I see her rummage through a makeup bag, and I take the opportunity to get close to her. I've barely touched her all day._

_Encircling her waist with my arms from behind, I rest my chin on top of her head. She instantly relaxes against me._

"_Hey, how are you doing so far?" I see her close her eyes in the reflection in the mirror in front of us. She looks so tired._

"_As good as I can. I'm so nervous, and there is so much to do still. Remind me why am I doing this?"_

_She always asks this when things get to be too much._

"_Because you love it and if you didn't do this, you'd be sitting up on your balcony, wondering why your flowers are still dying." I always give her silly answers that make her forget her nervousness._

"_Hey! It's not my fault that the damn flowers don't survive. I do everything by the book." She pouts but smiles anyway. She's really not so bad, and Alice is always giving us advice on flowers._

"_I know, baby, I know." I kiss her neck and she shivers._

_Her assistant Jess comes to get her after a minute and I give Bella a quick kiss, before letting her go to do her own thing. I understand her nervousness, but after seeing her collection, I know she'll do great_

It turned out I had been right; her show was a success that night.

I watch Bella as she faces me, and I see that she has her right hand tucked under her cheek as her left rests in the space between us. Carefully, I move my left one to take it into mine. I trace her ring carefully, drawing little patterns on her skin, and when she sighs, I smile. She always reacts to my touch, as I do hers.

I look at her and I can't believe it's been seven years since we met on that August afternoon. So much has happened since then. Good and bad.

I move my eyes to roam the rest of her body: I notice the soft rise and fall of her breathing, the dip of her hips, the way her legs look in those shorts and how the sunlight plays on her skin. She looks so beautiful; I can't believe it sometimes. Like everyone else, she has changed over the years; she has become more confident, not only with her talent in designing, but also with the way she dresses and interacts with people.

Like I did, everyone falls in love with her instantly.

The magazines adore her and she's often featured there, not only for her collections, but also for her personal style. Everyone wants to know what she'll wear next and where to get it, if it's not one of her own creations.

Bella says it's stupid and shakes her head often, but I feel so smug about my pretty wife, I only shrug. She's not so self-conscious about being photographed around Paris anymore, and she has even been able to take advantage of that a few times. When she loves a new designer, she makes it a point to tell everyone about them and wears their clothes often.

I bring her hand to my lips to kiss the ring. Each morning when I wake up and her face is the first thing I see, I'm thankful that she said yes to me all those years ago. I start to move and get closer to her, but the second I move from my position a tiny whimper reminds me that we're not alone.

I look down to my chest and see our baby boy stirring for a second and then settling back to sleep with a deep sigh.

Our three-month-old baby boy.

He loves to sleep on my chest; the beat of my heart lulls him to sleep in seconds after Bella feeds him. I love feeling him there and watch as he moves slightly up and down in tandem with my breaths. It also makes me feel good that I can do something for him and give Bella the break she needs.

He rests his cheek on top of my heart, with his little fists curling on my shirt and his bottom lifting a little up in the air. It's mesmerizing to watch him sleep: the little pout, similar to Bella's; his soft coppery hair brushing my chin, similar to mine. It's amazing to think that _we_ did that; _we_ made a person.

Even when we're tired, we often watch him sleep for a while, as he settles between us in bed. With hushed whispers, Bella and I talk about his future, what will his personality be or smile seeing his cute mannerisms.

Often times, I put him to sleep on my chest and when he's out, I move him to lie next to me in bed as I draw. The only sounds in the room are of his soft breathing and the pencil tracing the paper; it's so calming that I sometimes fall asleep for a bit. One time, when I opened my eyes I found Bella standing by the door, watching us and smiling. When I looked at the baby, I realized we were both matching each other's positions: arms lifted above our heads.

We now have a photo of that moment in our room.

My right hand had been resting protectively on his back all this time, to keep him from slipping, not that he would. We're used to this routine now, the both of us. He always grips my shirt fiercely,and if by some miracle I fall asleep, my body instinctively moves to protect him.

"Don't worry, little guy. I'm not moving anymore." I kiss the top of his head, feeling the soft fuzz of his hair against my lips. Bella loves to kiss him over and over again.

Okay, I do too.

He's such a cool little baby, calm so far, at least compared to the babies I've met. He loves to watch the activity around him and gives people the most serious expressions when he doesn't know them, like he's trying to read them. I can't wait to see how his personality will develop over time.

Apart from his hair, so far he looks like Bella, but I know as time passes we'll see more definitely whom he takes after. Sue and Charlie visited us last month, and he couldn't stop talking about how much our son looked like Bella as a baby, so I know I'm not the only who sees the resemblance.

Charlie and Sue first came to Paris when Bella had her first show in Fashion Week. Charlie had finally given Sue her Parisian trip and they'd stayed in Paris with us before traveling through Europe. Ever since then, they come to visit us or we go back to Seattle as much as we can.

This time though, they came and stayed for a month here in Paris, to help Bella with the new baby, and in time to celebrate our wedding anniversary: six years that at times feel like a second.

Six years since I saw Bella walking down the aisle in the gardens of _Jardin des Plantes._ We were just in time for the end of summer. We didn't want to wait much longer, and Bella really wanted to marry in the gardens.

As she walked down the aisle to me, with her father by her side, I couldn't stop grinning. It wasn't solely from anticipation of the new start to our lives, but it was also remembering the first time I had taken her to the gardens and how, under _our_ tree, I took my time touching her body.

Bella blushed when she reached me a few seconds later at the altar. She might've been thinking the same thing.

"Did he wake up?" I hear Bella's sleepy voice.

"No, just a little stirring." I squeeze her hand a little and turn my face to look at her.

She looks a little better today; sleep is so valuable these days. I let her have that as much as she can.

"Good." She yawns and smiles.

"Did you sleep okay?" I ask her. She can go back to sleep; I'll take care of things.

"Yeah, just a little nap, but I might go back to sleep again though." She looks at me as if asking is that okay.

"Good, you need to sleep. It's a good thing you're not working at the moment. I don't want you passing out somewhere, Bella." It has happened before.

"It was one time, Edward, and here in the studio. I would never drive while I'm this tired." Now she's the one squeezing my hand.

This is a sore subject for us. Two years ago, a man fell asleep while driving and hit Mom's car on her way back home. Thank God nothing really bad happened to her, and all she did was spend time in the hospital for a few days. It was really scary for all of us. She had just dropped off Marie at her ballet academy, and things could've been so much worse.

Ever since, whenever either of us is too tired to drive back home, we call the other and take the car service from our workplace. I'll be damned if I worry about the costs as long as it means my wife gets to our house safely.

Once Bella started to get successful, she needed a bigger studio, which we found a couple of blocks away from my own. It's a beautiful building where, in the beginning she occupied two floors. In time, she expanded to almost the entire building and Mom was thrilled to being able to help her decorate it.

When Bella opened her studio, we had been together for less than a year, but spent so much time moving back and forth between our apartments that we finally decided to move in together. Funnily enough that had been the easy part, then it was time to decide where exactly to live. We decided to look for a new place, something with enough space to house both our studios. Bella had been sad to leave her tiny apartment above the bakery. It had been her home since she got to Paris after all, but we wanted to start somewhere new. Just us.

We ended up finding a big apartment not very far from either of our workplaces, so every day we could still walk home from work. In the afternoon, we would go to the bakery and chat with Laurent or even Henri, who started dating Kate after meeting her at one of our dinner parties. Bella had been ecstatic about that development.

I had been relieved.

So, going home late after work wasn't an issue at the time; but after a few years, we decided to move to a bigger place, a house north of Paris. We still used the _Métro_ from time to time, but with the baby now, we much prefer use our own cars.

We also love our house, so taking a bit of extra time to get to work each morning is a small price to pay. Three stories high, five bedrooms, a solarium, a large studio and a ridiculously big backyard and we were sold on this place. This year we will be building a new addition to the yard: a playhouse. It won't be like Marie's cabin, it will be something– special.

We are also much closer to our families, and that was also a plus for us, since play dates for the kids are a common thing these days.

My parents couldn't be happier about that either, doting on their grandchildren.

Emmett and Rose got married less than a year after Bella and I did. The surprise came when less than a year after that, they were having kids, yes _kids_. It turns out Emmett comes from a family with twins all over the place, so of course, that was what he and Rose ended up having: two mischievous little boys, that are now four years old.

Rose adores them, but sometimes she just wants to hit Emmett for impregnating her with two little balls of energy. One often distracts their parents with cute tricks, while the other takes the opportunity to wreak havoc. By the time they see what's going on, it's too late.

We all find that little teamwork funny, especially the time when Emmett had to spend a weekend cleaning the kitchen of all the chocolate the kids had smeared all over; something we still haven't figured how it happened, but I pray to God our son is not that bad in a few years.

I rub my hand on Bella's and soon after, she goes back to sleep. She must be really tired if it took only this. I look down at our son and chuckle lightly when I notice him making the same little pout Bella is right now.

"Daddy?" I smile when I hear that. It never gets old.

Standing in our doorway is our three-year-old daughter, the daughter I couldn't believe I'd love this much before I saw her being born.

We took our time before starting a family. It wasn't a conscious decision that things happened that way. We waited until Bella was firm on her feet, and I had started my new line. I had been wanting to start something new for a while, and I finally did it a year after getting married. It was great on a personal and professional level, but it meant more work and long hours.

During that time, we took the opportunity to be newlyweds, to do things without that much responsibility waiting for us at home. We focused only on each other, working together, traveling whenever we could, spending a lot of time naked in bed. It was great.

Not that we don't do that anymore, but now there are curious little people around the house, little people who don't knock.

And then, it was time. We were happy in our lives, both personally and professionally, and adding a little one to the mix was more exciting than scary at that point.

I didn't think I could love Bella more than I did up to that point, but those months seeing her body change, knowing our baby was growing inside of her, it took my feelings to another level.

For years I've known we'd be tied forever, of course, but after she got pregnant and I witnessed the effort that is childbirth, saw how fucking strong my wife is, well, I had no words anymore. As the years go by, telling her that I love her doesn't cover it enough, so I try everyday to show her with my actions.

Until that point I hadn't thought about Renata that much, but that day I cursed at her and my stupidity from that time. I could've missed this.

"You can't sleep?" I whisper and she nods, rubbing her eyes with her fist.

"Then come here." I softly let go of Bella's hand and pat the small space between us. "Come sleep with us."

She smiles lazily and comes to climb on the bed.

I chuckle when I notice her pink pajamas with the words 'Princess Gigi' on the front. We made that for her, not only because that is her name, but also because it's her favorite character of a book: 'The Dancing Princess'. The funny thing is that Rose wrote that book just for her and keeps adding a new book to her collection with each birthday.

The series shows a princess of the forest, and every time she dances, flowers grow at her feet, their colors according to the princess' mood. It's a very pretty story, and I love to read it to her, except when it comes to exactly _where_ the princess lives: inside a tree. It made Gigi want to have something like that in our backyard. I wasn't very happy with Rose at that moment, but after seeing how much Gigi loves those books, I can't be anything but grateful to my sister. So this year we're building a cabin shaped like a tree.

Gigi buries herself on Bella's chest, which makes her wake up for a moment. She looks down and smiles at our daughter.

"Hi there, little princess. Couldn't sleep?" Gigi nods. "Okay, come here."

Gigi wraps her arms around Bella's waist, resting her head on her chest, and like our son, she's out in seconds.

"These kids," I whisper.

"I know, but don't we do the same? I love resting my cheek above your heart."

"Yeah, and I love resting my head against your boobs," I whisper and chuckle when she tries to swat me, but Gigi stirs.

"Edward, the kids are right here." She's laughing lightly.

"Sorry, but it's true. Besides, they're asleep."

"Men." She rolls her eyes and then closes them again.

She goes back to sleep, and I look around the bed, taking everything in.

Right on this bed are the most important people in my life; this is how I want to see them, peaceful and happy. Safe.

With my left hand, I touch Bella's cheek, then I move to touch our daughter's hair. It turns out she has my coloring, and it really doesn't look so bad on a girl. She's actually gorgeous, and I can't even think about her teenage years… and _boys_.

With my right hand, I rub our baby's back, feeling the buttons on his little outfit. I grin when I think that right now, loose buttons are the least of our worries and they certainly don't change our lives these days. Things are much simpler.

It has been interesting seven years with Bella. We fight, we make up, we succeed and we fail, but the important thing is that we do it together. The good and the bad.

That first year, after going to Seattle for the first time, I went to therapy to talk about everything that had happened. It was good to hear the thoughts of someone impartial, but after a year, he concluded that I really didn't need the sessions anymore. I was not perfect, and the fact that I was okay with that, that I could make mistakes like everyone else and not freak out, was enough for my therapist to discharge me.

If I'm too overwhelmed sometimes, I make an appointment to see him again, mostly just to talk, but that has happened less and less over the years. Now I only meet him for lunch to catch up. Emmett thinks it's weird that I'm friends with my therapist, but what can I say? I like the guy and he's easy to talk to, obviously.

I glance around the room, my eyes passing photographs of us together here in Paris or at the house in the south of France. There are also some with the rest of the family and our friends. I close my eyes and think about the ones in the rest of the house: Bella pregnant, Bella's first show, the opening of her studio, at award parties for either of us. As I promised Bella years before, there are also some of Renee, even in the kids' rooms. Bella always talks about her.

When I open my eyes again, I see the artwork our daughter often regales us with; she doesn't need reasons to give us something every week. She has her own little drawing table, right next to us in our studio. Bella took a photo of us working one time. Gigi and I had the same expressions when we concentrate.

I sigh in contentment when I think that this is my life now: mornings eating cereal with our daughter as Bella feeds the baby; walks to the bakery with Gigi skipping and then stuffing her face with pastries; weekends at the zoo with the rest of the family, doing more running than taking in the sights though.

Even when our time alone is considerably less than when we first got married, Bella and I do find the time to spend time together: short trysts at my studio, long lunches by the fountain, mornings at the marketplace after getting someone to care for the kids.

I move my left hand once again to touch Bella's cheek. This woman changed my life in so many ways, and the proof of that is right on this bed.

She showed me that 'I love you' means so much more than caring for that person: it's being proud of their accomplishments and sharing their burdens when they need you to; it's not necessarily agreeing with them all the time, but still going to bed at night and wrapping them in your arms; it's being scared shitless at giving them everything you have, but still doing it because it's so fucking worth it.

It's not controlling, but finally letting go.

I sigh and move my hand to caress our baby's head, settling myself in bed, ready to watch over my family's sleep. Looking at them, all I can think about is that life is happy, life is great, and life started on a hot afternoon by a Parisian fountain.

* * *

><p><strong>And that's all she wrote.<strong>

**We're leaving these kids with their warm summer days in Paris. :-)**

**I still have outtakes to post, but this is it for them. I don't have a schedule for posting those, but you'll know it when you find a teaser on Pictease or Fictionators on Mondays. If there is anything specific you would like to read, let me know and I'll see what I can do.**

**What can I say that I haven't said before? I love your gorgeous faces. Thank you so much to everyone who read, reviewed, alerted, favorited, tweeted, rec'd or even talked about LB. The fact that this story made you even comment about LB, warms my heart like you wouldn't even believe. I never thought 500 reviews were even in the horizon and I've loved every single one of your words throughout this journey.**

**Thanks to the lovely girls at The Perv Pack's Smut Shack who rec'd LB for not only their Lemon Report, but also for their Team WussPerv. I still can't look away from those lovely words, JS.**

**Thank you so much to Ange de l'aube and the pretty banner she made for this story. I can't even express how much I love it.**

**Thank you to everyone who rec'd and voted for LB for The Lemonade Stand last week, I was grinning like an idiot at seeing this between such great stories.**

**Thank you to everyone who nominated LB to different awards. It's so humbling that you considered it to be among amazing stories and that you took the time to do it.**

**And thank you to all of YOU, pretty ladies for stopping by every time, whether you let me a few words or not. I love you all. I want to name every single one of you, but I don't want to miss anyone here.**

**You are gorgeous beyond words, ladies.**

**And what else is there for me? Well, you'll get the outtakes and the odd O/S here and there because I can't really control those, lol. I also have an idea for a new story that I started last year, but pushed to the second place to write LB… and also a few more things. Nothing will be posted until I get a good number of chapters written though, I don't wanna make you wait for updates.**

**So, if you are interested, put me on alert. If not, it has been my pleasure to have you read my words.**

**You can PM me or tweet me any time you want to ask questions or whatever. As a lot of you know, I do my best to answer all your words as soon as I can.**

**And that's it. This damn AN is, once again, super long, so thanks again and have a gorgeous time, ladies. I'll see ya around. ;-)  
><strong>

**Love, CL82**


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